Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. I really updated!
ALMOST DONE with school. And...What Are The Chances.
Thank you all so much for the kind words and your patience! I appreciate you for sticking with me as I SLOWLY get these out.
This one is the longest (I think) chapter yet!
Enjoy loves!
Saturday, June 26, 1999, 9:23 AM
"Will this be all, hon?"
Monica swallowed hard and nodded as the cashier scanned the five items on the counter.
"I guess you're buying this many because you want to be sure, right?" The lady asked, smiling at her.
"Uh, yeah," Monica chuckled when she finally found her voice, "something like that."
"I took about that many too," the lady responded, then took the cash from Monica's hand, "in 1984, when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter…"
The stranger's voice faded away as she continued her story, and Monica hoped her face showed that she was listening as she feigned interest. She swiftly left the apartment when Chandler left this morning to change clothes, and she knew he'd wonder where she went when he made his way back over, probably in the company of Joey.
The lady finally put the money in the register and got the change out, then gave it to Monica, "…but anyway, it all worked out in the end."
"Well, that's good," Monica said with what she hoped was a sincere smile, "thank you," she said when she handed her the bag.
"Yeah hon," she replied, "I hope you get the answer you're looking for," she said.
Monica smiled softly at her and took the brown paper bag, nodding at her and wondering for a second what answer she was hoping for as she started to walk toward the door, out of the pharmacy.
She began to walk down the sidewalk, her stomach in knots. She stuck her hand in her pocket as her mind raced with a million thoughts and questions.
Did she want this? Well, yes, of course she did, she had wanted this for years, so much so that she thought of going at it alone some time ago.
But now? Her brother was finally okay and out of the hospital, Richard was out of the picture, and she just got things figured out with Chandler.
Chandler….
What was he going to say? Would he freak out and run away? Would he tell her he can't do this?
She groaned as she came to a crosswalk and stood behind the several people waiting for the walk signal too. She looked heavenward, praying for any help she could find.
Monica walked into her apartment, her purse on her shoulder, the paper bag from the pharmacy in her hand.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe all sat around her small table, causing her to smile. Her friends had always made themselves at home even when someone who lived there wasn't there, and now was no exception. Things were back to normal.
She thought about the items in the bag beneath her arm.
Well, sort of normal.
They looked up at her and said their various greetings. Chandler stood from the table and walked over to her, a smile on his face. He cupped her face and planted a kiss on her lips, "Hey sweetie," he said.
Phoebe and Joey shared a look as Monica smiled back at him, "Hey," she said, then kissed him softly again.
"Monica, where have you been? I've got a hankering for bacon and eggs and maybe some toast and jam…"
Monica tilted her head at Joey and moved to the table, Chandler following her. "Sounds like you need to get to cooking then," she told Joey, her eyebrows raised.
Joey had a look on his face that looked like he'd just been stabbed, "But you always make breakfast on Saturday!"
Monica smiled and shook her head, chuckling a little. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "Joey, I'll wash up and make some breakfast."
"Yay!" Joey said, all of his teeth showing when he smiled.
Everyone chuckled at their friend and Monica moved around the table to Phoebe. "How are you feeling, honey?" She asked.
Phoebe smiled, "You know, okay. A little sore, but the kids are healthy and doing great, and that's what's important."
Monica put her hand on Phoebe's shoulder, then grabbed her chin between her fingers, "Yes, but it's important that you're okay too."
Chandler and Joey nodded in agreement.
"Be right back," Monica said, then stepped away from them and towards the bathroom.
"Hey," Chandler called, then stepped toward her and took her free hand, "you okay?" He asked, then looked down at the paper bag in her hands.
"Yeah, I'm fine sweetie," she said softly, then smiled at him.
"What's with the bag?" He asked, squeezing her hand.
Monica's gut churned and she swallowed hard. She didn't want to lie to him, but she couldn't tell him now. She never was good at lying, and particularly on the spot.
"Just some girly stuff," she said softly, then wrinkled her nose up at him. It was kind of true, she thought. The items in the bag were for women.
"Okay, good," he said, then put his hands on her waist, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't sick," he grinned at her, and she grinned back, "we've got a big date tonight."
"Hmm," she replied, and stepped closer to him so that their bodies were touching, "I'm not sick, but if I were, I think you're going to catch it," she wiggled her eyebrows at him, and he chuckled lowly in his throat.
"You think so?"
She looked over her shoulder to see if Joey and Phoebe were paying attention, pleased to see that they weren't. "After the last two nights?" She continued, "I don't think there's any way you could avoid a bug."
"Completely worth it," he murmured, then leaned down and kissed her. He smiled as he pulled away, "I guess taking things slow with us has gone out the window, huh?"
She giggled a little too loudly and it caused the two people in the kitchen to turn their heads toward them, "I don't know," she whispered to him, "last night was pretty slow." She bit her bottom lip and gazed up at him, trying to fight a smile.
He pulled her even closer and nodded, "Yeah, and I like it like that." He leaned toward her and whispered, "Also, I don't really find it fair that you get to bite your lip and drive me crazy," he murmured.
Monica opened her mouth to respond, but Joey's interrupting voice was heard instead, "Um, excuse me lovebirds…"
Reluctantly, the two people standing turned their heads to find Joey's best WTF expression plastered on his face, "…are you kidding me?"
Chandler squeezed Monica's side, kissed her quickly and moved away from her, then she continued into the bathroom, chuckling a little.
"What's your problem?" Chandler asked, thumping Joey's ear as he returned to his seat.
"Hey!" Joey responded, rubbing his ear, "I don't have a problem. Just didn't know I was going to get a live sex show when I come over here now," he said, rolling his eyes.
Phoebe chuckled, "We missed it," she said, "I think if we had gotten here a couple of hours earlier, we would've really seen the action," she winked at Chandler, then leaned forward and rested her head on her hand. "I love the beginning of a relationship," she said dreamily, "good night sex, middle of the night sex, wake up sex, shower sex, need you now sex…"
Chandler chuckled and felt a blush come to his cheeks as he winked at her, "That all sounds so familiar Pheebs," he said softly, making her laugh.
"Ugh," Joey said, standing from his seat to get the juice pitcher, "you guys are sickening right now."
Chandler rolled his eyes and looked up at his roommate, "Dude, you talk about sex all the time. Now that it's me having the sex, you find it sickening?"
"Yeah, two of my friends that are suddenly all over each other? I mean, how would you respond if Phoebe and I were doing that?"
He thought about that for a moment and shrugged, "I think I'd be an adult about it and let you two be happy, then turn away if I didn't want to see the kissing."
Phoebe laughed and Joey glared harder as the bathroom door opened and Monica joined them in the kitchen again.
The gang had spent most of the Saturday with Ross and Rachel at Ross's apartment, enjoying the afternoon watching movies, laughing, and talking with each other.
It was so normal, so wonderful to be all together again. The girls gushed over pictures of the triplets, Ross told them what he could remember of the story about what happened the day of the accident, and Monica and Chandler told the complete story of what happened before and after the Colorado trip.
Monica was now in her bathroom, fresh out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her hair and body. She stared down at the five items on the vanity, her hands on each side of the counter as she gripped it tightly.
She'd followed the instructions to the letter that were inside the box, then got in the shower so she could try not to think about the results for the five-minute waiting period.
But she did anyway.
Her shower was nothing but thoughts of what was going to happen if the results were positive. How Chandler would react, what her friends were going to say…it was so heavy to put into perspective.
She sighed and shut her eyes, then took in a deep breath.
She had to do it.
Rip the bandage off and just know, for sure, whether it was true or not. She opened her eyes, picked up one of the tests, and took a deep breath before focusing on the small 'result' window.
She looked up at her reflection in the mirror, tears in her eyes, "Oh my God," she whispered as a tear rolled down her face.
She sat the test down in line with the others and read them from top to bottom, one after another.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
"Pregnant," she whispered to herself, then gripped the sides of the vanity. She slowly lifted her head and swallowed hard, then a small, tiny smile crept to the side of her lips.
She took in a shaky breath and shook her head in disbelief, "I'm gonna have a baby."
About an hour later, she sat at the kitchen table, waiting on Chandler to pick her up for their date. He had told her he wanted to make this seem like a traditional first date as much as possible, but it all felt a little silly to her.
They have been friends for so long and by now had sex and kissed so many times that there was really nothing left for either of them to discover about each other. But nonetheless, she thought it was sweet that he wanted to pick her up and take her out like real couples did.
She shut her eyes as she thought about, yet again, how in the hell she was going to tell him what she learned an hour earlier.
Her stomach was in knots, both over the excitement she felt and the nervousness that was there too. She took in and let out a deep breath as she licked her lips and stood, walking over to the sink for a glass of water.
She heard a knock on the door and her heartbeat sped up as she set the water glass down and made her way to the door.
She opened it and a smile spread across her face as he stepped forward and passed her a bouquet of flowers, "Hi," he said, smiling back at her.
"Hi handsome," she said, and she meant it. He was wearing black slacks, a brilliant blue shirt, and a black sports coat. His eyes sparkled and she realized how much she missed that hue of blue she used to see all the time before the mess after Colorado. She was glad it was back.
"These are beautiful," she said, then placed a hand on his chest and pressed a kiss to his lips, "thank you."
"You look stunning," he said, raking his eyes over her from head to toe. She was wearing a simple black dress and heels at the end of her smooth legs, and of course, it fit her perfectly. She felt a blush come to her cheeks.
She looked over her shoulder at him, a smile on her face as she put the flowers in a vase. She finished that task and stepped up to him, taking his hand in hers, "Where are we going?" She asked sweetly.
He played with her fingers with his, "Now what fun would I have if I told you?" He grinned at her.
She sighed, "Well, am I dressed appropriately, or do I need boots for hiking or gym shoes or a jacket if we're going somewhere cold…"
"You look perfect," he interrupted.
She tilted her head at him, a smile on her face, "You're cute too."
He chuckled lowly in his throat, then stepped up to her, "So, tell me, what's your thoughts on sex after a first date?" She watched as he looked her up and down again, then met her eyes, "Because I love that dress on you, but I can't wait to take it off."
She wrinkled her nose up at his teasing grin, then moved so that her chest was brushing against his. She leaned to whisper in his ear, letting her lips graze it as she spoke, "Now what fun would I have if I told you?"
He swallowed hard at her response, and she grinned at him, then chuckled.
"You're such a tease," he managed hoarsely, then grabbed her by the waist and planted a kiss on her lips.
The duo returned to apartment 20 hours later, and Chandler closed the door behind them as Monica placed her small clutch purse on the kitchen table.
He removed his sports coat and hung it on the chair, then wrapped his arms around her as she approached him.
"That was an amazing first date," she told him softly, then smiled as she kissed his lips, "thank you."
He smiled back at her and pressed another kiss to her lips, "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said, but she furrowed her eyebrows together when he lost his smile.
"What's wrong sweetie?" She asked.
He shook his head, "Nothing, I'm fine," he responded, then lifted his hand to brush a piece of hair from her forehead, "are you okay?"
She looked into his eyes and felt her stomach clench with nervousness, "Yes," she said, chuckling a little, "why do you ask?"
He licked his lips and traced her jaw with his fingers, "You seem like you've got something on your mind," he said, then looked into her eyes.
Of course he could tell, just like she knew she could tell if something was burdening him. He knew her so well.
She bit her bottom lip and looked away from him, then took a step backward so that their bodies were no longer pressed together.
He put his hands on his hips, then sighed, "Mon, what is it?"
His heart and mind raced with a billion frightening thoughts as she shook her head, then lifted her eyes to his.
"I didn't want to spoil the evening," she said, her voice shaking just slightly.
"What?" He asked and felt a lump form in his throat. He looked into her crystal blue eyes, shook his head slowly, "How would you spoil the evening?" He asked, his voice soft and shaky.
She sighed again, pressed her lips together for a moment, then grabbed his hand. She was going to wait until the next day to tell him the news, just so she had a little more time to prepare. But she knew now that making him wait until tomorrow would be unfair because he knew something was on her mind.
"Come sit," she whispered, trying her best to avoid breaking down. She didn't need to do that now.
She led him to the couch, and he sat down on it. She sat down on the coffee table so she could face him completely.
Chandler took her hands, and he could feel how cold they had become. She was nervous.
"Are we moving too fast?" He asked because he was sure that's what was on her mind. He had a feeling that jumping into another relationship after she had just ended things with Richard might be troublesome for her.
To his complete surprise, though, she shook her head, "No," she said, squeezing his hands, "not at all."
He tilted his head, licked his lips, and waited. He didn't have a clue what she was about to say to him.
"I um," she started, looking down at their hands for a second before meeting his eyes again, "First, I just want to tell you that these last few days with you have been magical."
He nodded in agreement, "Yeah, they have," he said with a slight smile. She smiled back and tears filled her eyes, and he lifted her hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss against them. A tear escaped her eye, but she didn't bother to wipe it away.
"Sweetheart," he said, her mood, her facial expressions, her nervousness doing nothing but adding to his confused state. He let go of one of her hands and lifted his to wipe the tear away, his brain firing a thousand scary scenarios of what could possibly be upsetting her, "What's going on?"
She finally looked up into his eyes, his beautiful, blue, sparkling eyes, took in another breath, and licked her lips. "Chandler, I…" she started, and he turned his head, but didn't say anything, waiting on her to continue, "…I'm so glad we finally get to be together."
He let one side of his mouth pull up in a slight smile, "I think we've earned it at this point, don't you?"
She smiled back at him, "God, yes," she murmured, "we really have. But I have to tell you…something…" she continued, and he squeezed her hands to encourage her.
"Tell me what?" He asked softly.
She held his hands tightly as she got ready to say the two words that she knew would shape her entire future, and, if he wanted this, his too.
"I'm pregnant."
Chandler felt his heart come to a complete stop so quickly that it made him dizzy. She watched as his face turned white, so she looked down but gripped his hands tighter as if she were trying to hold them both together.
The silence in the room was deafening until Chandler tried to take in a breath, but it caught in his throat. She looked up at him again and waited for a response, or for him to get up and literally run away from her.
"You're um," he finally replied, "you're pregnant?" He asked, just to make sure that he heard her correctly. She eventually nodded her head as she stared right into his eyes and nodded slightly.
"Yes," she confirmed.
He licked his lips and nodded back at her, then took another deep breath.
She felt as if she were going to be sick. Normally, she could tell exactly what he was thinking because she knew him so well, but this was an exception. She couldn't tell anything but how nervous he was, and she understood because she was too.
"Are you um," he said shakily, "are you sure?"
She let out a watery chuckle and squeezed his hands again, "I'm sure."
He cleared his throat, "I mean, I uh, I know you've been through a lot lately and, uh, all of the stress of everything was hard on you, and your body, so maybe…"
He stopped talking when she shook her head, lifted his hand to her mouth, and kissed it. His eyes never left her as she walked into the bathroom, then returned seconds later. He watched her as she bent over, something in her hands.
Monica placed each stick on the coffee table in a row, just as they were on the bathroom vanity earlier.
"You and I think alike," she began softly, "because I also thought that…" she sighed, "…maybe the stress over the past week," she chuckled again, "weeks," she corrected, "is what caused me not to notice what was going on."
He kept his eyes on her as she sat down next to him on the couch, the looked at the plastic sticks on the coffee table, "Well, it makes sense," he replied, "you weren't eating or sleeping or doing anything properly, so…"
She turned to him again and shook her head, "I went to the pharmacy this morning and stared at these on the shelf until the employees thought I was getting ready to steal or something." She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, "I bought five tests," she said, "and every single one of them has the same result."
Chandler nodded just slightly and continued to stare at them, as if he was searching for an answer, "You're sure, then," he said softly, his words more of a statement than a question.
She looked at the pregnancy tests again, then back at the side of his face, "Yes," she replied softly, nodding at him, "I'm sure."
Chandler cleared his throat and continued to look at the line of blue and white plastic sticks laying on the table. He slowly picked one up and read the blue writing in tiny letters next to the testing field that read 'pregnant'. He studied the two prominent pink lines on the test, then put it back in its place on the coffee table.
"Well, I uh," he sighed, then ran a hand over his face, "I'm very uh…" he looked away for a second, then back at her again, "surprised."
She nodded and sat down next to him, "I am too," she whispered softly.
A few moments of silence passed between them as the weight and realization of the news settled on both of them.
She took in another deep, shaky breath and took his hands in hers again, "Listen Chandler," she started, "as I said, this thing with me and you have been so wonderful, and I don't think I've ever been this happy or this comfortable in a relationship with someone," she said, then swallowed hard, shaking her head, "but you didn't ask for this."
He furrowed his eyebrows together, puzzled, "What are you saying?"
She pressed her lips together for a second, then squeezed his hands tightly in hers, "I'm saying if you want to," she swallowed at the lump that was forming in her throat, "take a step back from the relationship or just put it on pause all together…"
"What?"
She shook her head and squeezed his hands, "I know this is a lot to take in a new relationship, and I'm giving you an out. I don't want you to feel like you're trapped into a family right away…"
"Honey…"
"I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes, and we've been in a relationship for three days," she continued, "and I don't think that's very…"
She stopped speaking when he gently placed a finger on her lips, "Stop," he whispered softly, then shook his head and cupped her face with the same hand, "I finally got you, and I want to be with you." He looked into her tear-filled eyes, "Unless you want me to step back and give you some space…"
She shook her head and grabbed his hand off of her face with both of her hands, "No," she answered quickly, "I don't want that at all."
"Then I'm not going anywhere," he responded, "I'd be a fool to let you go after all that we've been through. And I'm excited that if you'll let me, I'll get to see you be a mother."
She smiled and let out a watery chuckle, then threw her arms around him and pulled him into another hug, "Oh, Chandler, I'm so glad to hear you say that" she said brokenly, "how did I get so lucky?"
He titled his head at her, then shook it as she placed her hands flat on his chest and took in another shaky breath. God, what a sweet, sweet man he was.
He reached up and cradled the crown of her head so that she kept it close to him, "Did you call the doctor?"
She shook her head, her forehead still against his, "No, I'm going to call on Monday."
"Is it okay if I go with you?" He asked softly.
She moved her head backward and tilted her head a little at him, "You really don't have to," she said, "you have work."
"I don't care about work," he argued gently, "I want to go with you."
She cupped his face, "I'd love it if you would go with me," she whispered.
He smiled and leaned forward to capture her lips.
He shut his eyes and pulled her tighter against him, relishing the way she felt in his arms. "I'm not going anywhere," he repeated, "you're going to get so sick of me."
"I'm not," she whispered back.
He pulled back, a small smile on his face, "Have you told anyone?"
She smirked at him, "Just you," she whispered, with a shake of her head.
"How do you feel?" He asked, sliding one of his hands down her arm.
She didn't tell him, but relief was the overwhelming feeling within her. He wasn't scared of this, an instant family. He wasn't the commitment-phobic, never settling down guy anymore. He was the guy that wanted this with her, even if it wasn't planned right now.
She was amazed at this man in front of her.
"I feel great," she said, slipping her hand into his. Holding his hand was becoming a new habit that she loved.
He lifted his free hand and rubbed her cheek with his fingers, feeling the softness of her skin, "You look great."
She felt a tear roll down her face as she turned her head and kissed his palm, "Thank you for tonight," she whispered, "I had an amazing time."
"I did too," he said softly, "but I think it was the company more than the events."
She giggled softly, "I think it was all of it," she said, then suddenly lifted her right leg and threw it over his lap so that the back of her thighs was sitting on the top of his, "I don't think the night is quite over yet, do you?"
Chandler gripped her hips in surprise, then smiled up at her, "God no," he murmured, then tilted his neck up so that he could meet her lips. He slid his hands down her sides and onto her legs, down until he felt skin, then back up under her dress.
She moved her bottom half over his and he groaned, then pulled back from the kiss, "Wait," he said breathlessly, and she moved her hands to the front of him and began to unbutton the buttons of his dress shirt, "is this safe?"
"What?" She questioned, her fingers halting on her button task.
"This won't hurt the baby, right?"
She smiled, leaned down to kiss him, then pulled away and resumed the unbuttoning of his shirt, "When Phoebe first got pregnant," she said, "she had a lot of those pregnancy books around. And I picked one up one day and read a few pages."
"Oh yeah?" He squeezed her thighs and stared at her tantalizing chest as it was directly in front of him, "And what um," he groaned when she shifted in his lap, now even closer, "what did it say?"
She grinned again, leaned forward so that she was leaning completely against him, her face right next to his, "It said to make love to me" she growled, then licked the shell of his ear.
"Oh, good," he replied, then pulled her forward and attached his lips to hers, kissing her hungrily. Meanwhile, she put her hands on his belt buckle and began to undo it. She got his pants loose and pushed them down as much as their sitting position allowed as he pulled on the small straps of her dress to lower them.
He pulled away from her lips and trailed them down her jaw, onto her neck, and beneath her ear.
She closed her eyes for a moment and let herself feel the electricity that he caused shoot through her body.
No one had ever set her on fire like he did. His mouth burned against her skin as he trailed his mouth down her body. She'd never been kissed like this, no one made her want as much as she wanted him.
Her fingertips yearned to touch his skin-both hard and soft. Her mouth watered for the sweet, salty taste of his lips, so she leaned forward and tasted them again. He pulled away too soon, earning a moan from her mouth that he loved to hear.
The way he fit against her, inside her, he was nothing like she'd ever felt before. It was wonderfully different. It was right, and it was real.
"Chandler," she panted as he sucked on the side of her breast, "you take my breath away," she whispered.
He lifted his head to look up at her and she looked down, "Me too baby," he told her, then kissed her again, "I love you," said to her, then looked up into her eyes.
She swallowed nervously as he stared back at her, her mouth opening and closing a couple of times. She opened her mouth to respond, but he shook his head and put his finger gently on her mouth.
"I've had time to figure out how I feel about you," he whispered softly, "and I want you to take your time. I don't tell you I love you to hear you say it back," he continued, "I tell you to make sure you know."
Tears filled her eyes as he moved his finger then she leaned onto him and kissed him, putting what she felt for him into it.
Friday, July 2, 1999, 3:49 PM
Chandler opened the doctor's office door, allowing Monica to walk outside first, then followed her, "So, how do you feel?" He asked.
Monica looked up at him as they walked down the sidewalk, a smile on her face, "I feel…" she sighed, looking down at the envelope in her hands, "…wonderful."
He smiled because he wasn't sure he'd ever seen her so happy. He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, "You're glowing."
She grinned at him and put her free hand on her stomach, "I've got somebody growing inside me."
"Yeah, you do," he said with a smile, "it's gonna be here in just a few months."
She giggled and looked up at him again, "What do you think it is?"
He chuckled lowly in his throat, "Definitely a girl that looks exactly like you," She tilted her head, then turned it away as she blushed, "I'll have to get a bat and beat the boys that come near her, though."
They stopped at a crosswalk, and she felt chills cover her body even in the hot summer sun at the thought of raising a child with him.
"Or of course, a little boy would be cool too. He'd be a handsome fella if he looked like you."
She grinned again, something she'd been doing a lot lately. "Oh, you paint such a great picture," she said, chuckling a little, "but I think it'll be a beautiful child if he or she has some of their Daddy's looks too."
He pressed his lips together for a second and squeezed her side, then asked her one of the questions that had been playing repeatedly in his head. "So, when are you going to tell everyone?" He asked as they crossed a street with a crowd of people.
She apologized to a woman that she bumped into before she turned back to him, "Probably in the next few weeks," she said, "But, right now, I kind of like that it is just between us."
He smiled at her, "Yeah, me too," they turned the corner and headed down another street, "a little part of me wishes that we would've started dating without them knowing," he shrugged.
She chuckled a little, "Oh yeah? Why is that?"
He shrugged a shoulder, "I don't know, the idea of sneaking around with you and getting you all to myself sounds fun to me."
She giggled now, causing him to smile, "You mean like sneaking into each other's apartments in the middle of the night or hiding in the closet when one of our friends comes home or sex anytime we find a second alone?"
"Exactly like that," he confirmed, "and we'd worry about our relationship and not what they think about it."
She nodded in agreement, "True, but, like I told my brother, I really don't care what he thinks or anybody else."
He lifted his eyebrows at her as he waved a hand for a cab, "When did you tell him that?"
She crossed her arms as he stepped up onto the sidewalk next to her again, "The day he got home from the hospital," she told him, "you and Rachel went into the kitchen and he asked me questions about you, about me, about…us."
"And he still doesn't think it's a good idea, right?"
"He's just being a big brother," she responded, then brushed his arm against his, "he doesn't want either of us to get hurt."
Chandler chuckled and opened the cab door for her as one pulled to a stop in front of them, "I think he doesn't want me to hurt you," he said when he sat down next to her. He rested his arm on the back of the seat behind her head, then smiled when she leaned her head on it.
"I told him I didn't think that would ever happen," she continued, "but I didn't care if he didn't like that we're dating now, because we are."
He dropped his hand to her shoulder and squeezed it, then let a smile stretch across his face. She really was into this relationship as much as he was, and that knowledge thrilled him to no end, "Yeah, and I think it's gone pretty well so far, don't you?"
She smiled back at him and placed a hand on his knee, "Most definitely."
Sunday, July 4, 1999, 9:15 PM
"I've always thought fireworks are so beautiful," Rachel said, looking up at the sky as they exploded above them.
The gang sat around in chairs on the roof watching as the show continued. Chandler sat on a metal beach chair, Monica between his legs, her head on his shoulder. He sipped on a beer, while she dutifully drank her bottle of water.
"So do I," Ross agreed, his leg propped up on a bucket as he sat in a chair between Rachel and Phoebe. "Do you guys know how fireworks are made?"
Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe all answered in the affirmative, but Ross proceeded to tell them all how fireworks are made anyway.
The others groaned with annoyance, but Monica didn't hear him. Her focus was on Chandler as he gently caressed her arm with his free hand.
Luckily she and Chandler sat far enough away from the rest of them that they could get away with talking to each other while Ross rambled on and snuggled a little closer.
He must have felt the chill bumps that covered her arm because he reached to the bag, she brought up to the roof with them and got the small blanket out. He snapped it open and lay it over them.
"Thank you," she said, smiling at him. He smiled back and squeezed her arm.
"You're welcome, babe."
It was hot during the day, the norm for July in New York, but Monica knew the breeze could be cool at night while on the roof, and she prepared for such a situation. The bag on the ground next to them also contained a few beers for Chandler and bottles of water for her.
She took in a deep breath, her eyes shut as his scent surrounded her. To her, Chandler was unlike anybody else in the world.
Monica marveled at how he made her feel. Being with him made her feel like her body was split in two, half of her on fire, craving him - his touch, his smell, his taste, his sound, his eyes, the other half completely content, and calm and happy. She'd never been so excited about the rest of her life because somewhere deep down she knew he wasn't going anywhere.
She and the little girl or boy growing in her belly would have Chandler Bing in their life, just like he'd been for so many years as her best friend.
She didn't know what she would do without him, how she would live without him.
She let out a sigh at the thought and turned her head so that she could look into his eyes as the fireworks continued in the sky.
The explosions only made his eyes sparkle even in the darkness, and good God, it nearly took her breath away.
He turned his eyes to meet hers and smiled a little, "You okay?" He whispered, then sat his beer down on the ground beside the chair and wrapped his now free arm around her too.
She smiled at him and nodded, "I'm perfect," she whispered, and just realized that Ross was still explaining the creation process of fireworks.
"Do you think we'd have to suffer through another long hospital stay if I fling him off the roof?"
Monica giggled and stretched her neck to kiss his cheek, "Probably not because he'd be a pancake."
"…and then when they light the fuse, the charge goes into the chamber, and it…"
"Ross!" Joey said loudly, and the firework expert stopped talking and looked over at him, "We get it," he said, a little bit of a sharp tone in his voice.
"Do you, Joe?"
Monica still wasn't paying attention to them. She was focusing on chandler as his arm tightened around her and his mouth landed on top of her head for a gentle kiss.
His hand traveled down her arm and onto her lower stomach, and she looked up at him, an eyebrow raised as his hand rested there.
He wouldn't dare, not here in front of their friends…would he?
He smirked at the look on her face, knowing exactly what was on her mind, but shook his head. He was brave, but he wasn't that brave…as much as he'd love to.
The rest of the people on the roof were now in a conversation about the price of fireworks, and how much it probably cost to put on a show like the one above them.
Moments later after he was sure that none of their friends were paying any attention to them, he slowly pulled on her shirt so that it was well above her belly button beneath the blanket. He then rested his palm on the tiny curve of her belly and rubbed his thumb over the skin there.
"Hi baby," he whispered as he leaned his chin against her temple and tightened his left arm around her body.
She looked up at him as tears pooled in her eyes. She put her hand on top of his and intertwined their fingers together, then leaned her head up to kiss him.
"Guys, seriously?" Ross's voice was heard, louder now as it interrupted their sweet moment.
Monica pulled away from Chandler and rolled her eyes at her big brother, "They do that all the time now," Joey cut in, pointing at them from across the roof, "it's like we need to build a box around them so they always have a room."
"Sounds good to me," Chandler said, "maybe we won't get interrupted so much."
Friday, August 6, 1999, 6:32 PM
Monica groaned as she tried to button her jeans, but the left side would not meet the right. She turned to the side and lifted her shirt, then furrowed her eyebrows together.
She was staring at her side profile in the mirror when she heard a small knock on her bedroom door. She began to pull down her shirt, but stopped when she heard Chandler's voice through the door, "Hey, babe, are you ready?"
"Come in," she said and watched as he opened her door and entered slowly.
He grinned at her and turned his head, then shut the door behind him, "What are you doing?"
"I think I'm starting to show," she said with a sigh, "and I can't get into my jeans."
He walked over and stood behind her, looking in the mirror with her, "Well, you've got a baby growing in you, sweetheart."
She smiled at him and nodded, "I think we'll have to tell them soon," she said.
He agreed with a nod and took a step back as she took the jeans off and walked over to her closet, then picked out a dress to wear instead.
"Do you want to tell them at dinner tonight?"
She pursed her lips for a second and sighed, "I guess it'll be as good as time as any. They'll be all together."
He approached her and placed a hand on her hip, "I'm kind of bummed that it won't be just between us anymore," he said, smiling at her.
She giggled and turned to him, then wrapped her arms around his neck, "Me too, so I guess we'll have to find another secret to keep from them."
After he kissed her, he looked into her eyes again with the question that was burdening him the most. But, as usual, they heard the apartment door open, and their friend's voices were heard through the closed door.
"You ready?" She asked brushing his shirt a little.
"Yeah," he replied, then watched as she walked over to the dresser and grabbed the small sonogram picture, "Proof, huh?"
She chuckled a little, "Yeah, I think we'll need it."
After a dinner that was stretched to nearly three hours after the news of the baby, Monica walked into her apartment, her boyfriend right behind her. About a month ago, Ross and Rachel announced that he was officially divorced from Emily and he and Rachel were going to give it another go. With Rachel staying with Ross a lot of the time, Chandler and Monica got a lot of nights alone together.
The evening was spent with smiles on everybody's faces, questions about Monica's pregnancy so far, and general excitement.
"That was a good night," Monica said as she sat down on her bed and took off her heels, "everybody was so excited."
Chandler smiled and nodded, then took off his sports coat and hung it in her closet, adding to the small collection of his own clothes there, and she had some in his too.
"Are you okay?" She asked as she removed her earrings and put them in their place on her dresser.
He nodded at her, and put his hands on his hips as he turned to her, "Yeah babe, I'm fine, why do you ask?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, you seem kind of quiet," she responded.
He swallowed thickly, "Well I guess I do have a…" he stopped and cleared his throat, "...a question that I've been wanting to ask you, but I didn't want to upset you and I keep chickening out."
She furrowed her eyebrows together and sat down on the bed, "You know you can talk to me about anything," she said softly and noticed as his face showed a mix of nervousness and worry. "What is it, sweetie?" She asked.
He returned his hands to his hips and stepped toward her, "I just wonder when you're going to um," he swallowed nervously again because he knew the words he was about to say were going to taste like bile as they left his mouth, "when are you going to tell Richard?"
Monica froze, looking up at him in disbelief.
He stared back at her, waiting for an answer, growing more nervous as she stared at him, and the room stayed silent.
He lifted one of his hands and ran it through his hair, breaking the stare between them. This is exactly why he hadn't asked her; this was exactly what he wanted to avoid. The hurt look displayed on her face broke his heart.
"I don't like the idea of bringing him back in your life, especially now," he said, his voice shaking a little, "but I think he deserves to know. He should know."
Monica finally looked away from him, then stared straight ahead for a few seconds before she stood and walked over to him.
"All this time," she started, her voice shaking a bit, "you have been wondering when I was going to tell Richard?"
He nodded just a little, "Even if he doesn't want a baby, he should know. It's only fair."
She chuckled once, then looked up at him as she took his hands and pulled him so that they were both sitting on the bed, "I haven't talked about my relationship with Richard with you, not only because I didn't think you would want to hear it, but mostly because it never should have happened. I didn't love him as much as I wanted to or thought I could again."
He stayed quiet, listening to her carefully.
She licked her lips, "I guess the only thing that you should know about my time with Richard is the fact that I couldn't be romantic with him."
He blinked a couple of times, processing her words in his head. Did he hear that correctly? He cleared his throat, "What?"
She smiled as tears came to her eyes, but she shook her head to try and avoid them.
"I told you that I couldn't get you out of my head while I was with him, and I'm not exaggerating. I always found an excuse to not sleep with him because I didn't want him, I wanted you. I dreamed about you, I thought about you, and I couldn't make myself get you out of my head long enough to do anything with him. I didn't want to."
"I…" he chuckled nervously, shaking his head at her, "I'm not sure I understand."
He felt his heart rate speed up as she smiled and squeezed his hands, "Richard and I didn't have sex."
"You um," he swallowed hard, "you what?"
She let go of one of his hands then wiped a tear from her cheek, "This is not Richard's baby," she whispered, her soft voice full of emotion.
He felt his mouth go dry and he looked away from her, then finally lifted his head to meet her eyes when the puzzle pieces finally fit themselves together and the realization hit him, "So, are you saying that…" his voice broke, and he felt that he was no longer able to hold himself together.
"Yes," she said softly then leaned closer to him, taking his chin in her hands and looking into his eyes. She watched as a tear slowly ran down his face, then she pulled one of his hands over to her belly, then laid it against her stomach. He looked down at his hand beneath hers, then back up at her.
"This is…" He tried but couldn't make words form.
"This is your baby, Chandler," she said brokenly, then blinked as more tears fell down her face too.
"You're pregnant with my baby?" He clarified, but barely as his whole world was spinning. He felt dizzy, sick to his stomach, but incredibly happy at the same time.
"Yes," she said, cupping his face and wiping his tears away from his cheeks with her thumbs.
He stared back at her, his heart thumping in his chest with so much love for her that he thought his heart might explode, "We're having a baby," he whispered, all of his teeth showing when he smiled at her.
She let out a small laugh, then lifted his head so that he was looking at her again, "I love you," she said softly, her voice breaking, "I love you so much, Chandler," she added.
He leaned forward and captured her lips, the news echoing in his head. He pulled her closer, kissing her with all his might so that he didn't ask her to marry him right then.
After their slow, passionate lovemaking, during which they each said 'I love you' over and over again, Chandler moved down her body so that his head was lying just below her chest. He kissed her tiny bump, "Hey Peanut," he whispered, and Monica smiled as she lifted her hands to play with his hair, "Daddy's here," he said, and she felt tears come to her eyes as he talked to her stomach, telling the little boy or girl all the things they would be getting into once he or she was here.
All this time, he'd been so wonderful with her and the baby, and she was still in disbelief that he didn't know it was his baby. He was going to be there for her, it didn't matter if he wasn't the father. But honestly, she expected no less.
What a perfect, perfect life she had.
With Chandler Bing and Peanut.