Ok huge apologies to everyone who has been waiting for an update, firstly I was really busy then I just couldn't get my idea to flow; but hopefully 4,291 words will help. I hope you enjoy it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meredith stood shuffling her feet at the front door of her boyfriends house, "Hi," she said quietly when he finally opened the door.
"Hey…I didn't expect to see you today," he replied a faint smile playing at his lips.
"Yeah…um…can we talk?" she asked, motioning for him to come and sit on the top step of his porch. He nodded slowly as he reached back inside to grab his jacket, his face fell however as she turned and sat waiting for him to join her.
He sat a few inches apart from her, dreading to see the look in her eye- he knew what was coming. She sat silently gaining the courage for what needed to be done.
"You still love him…" he stated quietly, focusing on a spot in the distance.
She sighed and nodded before taking a deep breath and speaking, "I'm really sorry Sam…I honestly thought I would get over him, given some time…but…I don't know, I tried. You're a great guy…."
He chuckled to himself, "Mer, don't start with the 'it's not you…its me' crap, it is me…I'm not Derek."
"Its not crap," she said with a light smile as she leaned in and linked arms with him, "You really are a great guy and your going to make someone really happy someday."
"Oh god!" He laughed, "Stop you're just starting to sound like my mother!"
"Plenty more fish in the sea!" She offered with a laugh, as he pulled her into a hug.
They sat on the front porch talking for a little longer, in all truths they really did get along well together, he just wasn't her McDreamy and they had both known that for a while. After hugging him good-bye she turned and left, she was just about at her car when he called out, "He loves you to…it's kind of hard to miss."
----------------------------------------
A month or so later…
Izzie and Meredith were having breakfast before work, "So how many hours until you reach your limit?" Asked Izzie through a mouthful of bagel.
"Only six…thank-god." Meredith replied, pouring herself, George and Izzie a travel cup of coffee and yelling at George to hurry up.
"So…" Izzie attempted to broach a subject she had been dying to ask Mer about for the last week. "What's up with you and Derek?"
Meredith stared at her in shock, having been expecting this line of questioning for the past month, but she wasn't ready for it at half five in the morning as they were rushing out the door. "We are friends," she replied, falling back on her old defense mechanisms.
"Mer, you and Derek have never been and never will be friends," stated George as he scurried into the kitchen swiping Izzies half eaten bagel out of her hand and taking a gulp of the coffee Meredith handed him, before following them out the door.
"We are too friends…" Meredith replied as they clambered into the car and George revved the engine. "We hang out, go to movies, have dinner, talk…we are friends,"
"No your not," Izzie stated from the back seat, "Your dating without the sex…you are always together, you act like you're a couple, your just not having sex…"
Meredith went to retaliate using her and Georges friendship as an example, but caught her tongue just in time, she didn't want to reopen old wounds for either of them, the fact that he stayed in the room while Derek was over was still a big progress in terms of their friendship. Instead Meredith sat back in her seat and pretended to look out at the scenery as George sped through the quiet Seattle streets.
Bailey interrupted her six hours later during a consult with a patient, instructing her to go home and not come back for two days as she had reached her work limit. She did not know what to do with herself, having free time and not being asleep, was a luxury none of the interns had quite gotten use to. And although she was tied she decided to push herself to stay awake so she could get a decent sleep when she did finally crawl into bed later. Not knowing what else to do she decided to go to the mall and properly stock up their fridge.
----------------------------
Derek's early surgery had been cancelled and because he had no other reason to be at the hospital he had stayed home for the morning, enjoying sleeping in before going fishing for a couple of hours. After returning he decided to go to the mall to get some lunch, having not caught anything down at the lake.
He was heading towards the food hall when he saw Meredith trying to direct her full trolley through the crowds.
"Want a hand," he offered as he slipped into step beside her.
"Hey," she smiled, "I can't believe this many people are here in the middle of the day, doesn't anyone else have a job?"
"It would probably be easier if your trolley wasn't trying to go sideways," he chuckled, taking over the control of the handle, "Besides are you planning on feeding Africa? How can three people eat so much?" He commented, motioning towards the mountain of food in the trolley.
"This has got to last until one of us has time to shop- that could be months away!" She exclaimed, "Anyway- why are you here, didn't you have a surgery."
"Cancelled," he replied, "I didn't catch anything this morning so came here for lunch, want to join me?"
"Sure," she replied, as her mind flashed back to the comment Izzie made that morning, 'no' she thought to herself 'this isn't like dating, we didn't plan to meet for lunch, it was an accidental meeting.'
-------------
They enjoyed lunch together; sitting side by side and eating sushi out of plastic trays while watching the crowds pass by, until Meredith finally announced that she should be heading home.
"Bed?" He asked, knowing she was tied.
"No," she whined, "I stupidly offered to cook dinner for Izzie and George, then bumped into Burke on the way out and invited him and Christina…so now I have to cook something good."
"Where's my invite?" He pouted.
"I was going to call you when I got home," she replied, "I have a feeling Callie is coming to…that's six people," she exasperated.
"Eight."
"Huh?" She asked with a curious look
"Well; You, Izzie, George, Christina, Burke, Callie, Doc and me," He charmed.
"Oh," she laughed standing up from their perch. "Well I'll see you around seven."
"I'm not doing anything this avo, want me to come over and help you cook?" He offered, secretly preying she would accept his offer.
"Yeah, that would be good," she smiled.
"How bout I go and pick up Doc, then head over to yours, we can cook dinner then take him for a walk."
"Yeah sounds good, I'll see you at my place in an hour or so." She replied, waving him goodbye as she attempted to direct the trolley to her car.
------------------
"Hello." Derek called out, as he let himself into Meredith's house later that afternoon, "Meredith?"
"In here," she called back from the kitchen, as Doc pulled the lead from Derek's hand and raced towards her voice.
"You look beat," he commented when she looked up from greeting Doc.
"Didn't sleep well last night, so I'm running on about four hours sleep."
"Smells good," he added as he stole a spoon and sampled what she had on the stove.
"Chicken laksa," she replied, "I thought I'd get the cooking out of the way early."
"Why don't you go and grab some sleep and I'll finish up here," he offered, rubbing her shoulders.
"I can't ask you to do that,"
"You didn't," he smiled, "I offered, so go…we want you to actually be awake through this impromptu dinner party."
"Ok," she sighed too tied to argue, "Thanks wake me up in a couple of hours and I'll help clean up." He didn't reply as he watched her head up the stairs with Doc trailing after her, before getting his bearings around her kitchen once again.
--------
Three hours later he knocked lightly on her door before opening it and peeking in, seeing her curled up asleep with Doc beside her made him smile and he had to force himself to wake her up. Moving to her side he balanced on the edge of her bed and lightly shook her shoulder, "Mer, time to wake up…"
"Hey," she smiled, as she shook the sleep from her system, "What's the time?"
"Half five, I'm going to take Doc for a walk…want to come?"
"Yeah, give me a sec," she mumbled rubbing her face before slipping out of the sheets. She got about three paces from the bed when she realized she was only wearing her Dartmouth shirt and panties, pausing for a second she considered turning around to grab some pants, but decided on avoiding his face and continued to the bathroom.
As Derek watched her retreat into the bathroom he collapsed back onto the bed, 'that sight is going to make falling asleep even harder' he thought to himself.
When she appeared minutes later he was laying on his back having, what seemed to be, a meaningful conversation with Doc.
"You two ready?" she chuckled as both Derek and the dog sprang to life and headed towards the door.
---------------------------
They walked the streets surrounding her house in a comfortable silence, his hand on the lead while the other one itched to hold hers. The entire walk she had one thought circling her head…dating without the sex, dating without the sex, dating without the sex…
They arrived home to George and Callie making out on the couch, "Where's Izzie?" Meredith casually interrupted.
"Shower." George replied as he awkwardly climbed off Callie, "Christina and Burke will be over soon, they were just finishing up with some post-op notes when we left," he called as Meredith and Derek headed into the kitchen.
"Jealous?" Derek asked.
"What…of Callie?" She replied, spinning around and giving him her best 'Oh my god, you have got to be kidding me' look.
"Hey I was just teasing!" he replied, chuckling at her obvious response.
"Urgh…" she shuddered, "For you to even say that…yuck…" However the truth was, she was jealous and she did want to be making out with someone on the couch, she wanted to be making out with Derek on the couch.
He, on the other hand, was relieved by her obvious disgust at his flippant comment, relieved that she wasn't harboring feelings for George.
---------------------
"McDreamy's here?" Christina asked when she finally got Meredith alone.
"We…Are…Friends…" Meredith mouthed as she opened another bottle of wine.
"Dating without sex…" Christina stated.
"What are you and Izzie swapping notes on me now?" Meredith asked in a harsh whisper.
"Well, what else are we suppose to talk about?" She replied, "And just for the record…that was my line, Izzie stole it. But by the eye-sex you two are giving each other tonight, I'm not so sure. What did you two do all afternoon?"
"Had lunch, cooked, slept- alone- and walked Doc. Is that enough info for you or do you want to check the surveillance footage as well?" She asked sarcastically before heading back out to the dinner table with her arms loaded with food.
---------------------------
After an entertaining and delicious dinner Callie and George headed upstairs while Izzie went back to the hospital to check up on Denny, so Meredith, Christina and Burke were left sitting around in the lounge finishing off the bottle of wine. Their conversation was light, steering clear of anything concerning the hospital or work.
An hour later Burke started ushering Christina out the door, before Meredith interrupted, "No way is either of you fit to drive. You can couch it for the night"
"What about him?" Burke asked, pointing an unsteady finger towards Derek- who was currently trying to count the spots on the ceiling. "He had more to drink than any of us!"
I'm sure Meredith will find a bed for Derek as well," Christina commented as she steered Burke back to the foldout couch and collapsed next to him.
Meredith ignored her friends comment as she led Derek up the stairs to her room, telling herself that this was a purely innocent situation.
---------------------------
In her room Meredith headed to the bathroom to get changed, leaving Derek to get ready for bed. When she reappeared he was already lying in bed, she smiled at him before clicking off the light and making her way towards the bed in the dark. Upon reaching its edge she felt him lift the blankets up for her and she climbed in next to him, far enough away that they weren't touching but close enough to feel his warmth. "Night," she whispered as she rolled over and tried to convince herself that he was not lying next to her.
The fact she was lying next to him in a tiny pair of shorts and singlet was making it nearly impossible for him to even contemplate sleep, the image of her climbing out of bed in her underwear earlier that day wasn't helping either. Without really knowing why he resettled himself in his pillow and whispered, "I love you," to what he thought was her sleeping back.
His words sliced the silence of the room and she tried her best to keep her breathing even as those three little words filled the space between them. Laying in silence, she was lost as what to do, did she tell him the truth and open the whole can of worms again, or lay in silence and act as if nothing happened. Her head was telling her to stay quiet but her heart won out as minutes later she replied, "I love you to."
For a horrible second she thought he had fallen asleep and not heard her reply, that she had missed her chance, until he sighed deeply and she felt the bed shift. She rolled to face him; even though she couldn't make out his features she could sense his smile.
"Really?" he asked, "You're not just saying it to be nice?"
"Really." She replied as she nervously waited for his reply.
"Wow", he replied obviously relieved. "So…do you want to give it another try?" he asked apprehensively.
"Yes," she whispered as she reached out to touch his face.
Feeling her soft hand against his cheek he couldn't resist but kiss her knuckles lightly, "We will go as slowly as you want," he promised, understanding the hurt and anguish he had caused her.
She didn't reply but moved towards him and cuddled into his waiting arms, only realizing that he was only wearing his trunks. 'I'm never going to be able to sleep now' she thought to herself as she snuggled into his arms.
He breathed her in, as the memories of her smell and touch; he had kept locked away rushed back to him. His hand found its old path beneath her top and rested on her stomach as his heart pounded rapidly. He automatically began stroking her hair, like he use to, and she soon fell into an easy sleep.
---------------------