Love Piece
Keitaro sighed as he went to the room he was assigned to. 'These people are insane,' he thought.
Keitaro had been through a lot ever since he moved to the bathhouse, but this was even worse. The chef was against him, the swordsman thought he was no better than the chef and he had just received a death threat.
He sighed and lay down on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling and wondered how he would ever get home.
Suddenly, he felt something touch him. He looked at the bed to see a big lump under the cover. To make things worse, this lump had a head that looked suspiciously like Nami's.
Nami awoke after just rolling into his ribcage and said, "Oh, hi Keitaro. We don't have many quest rooms, and Naru didn't want to sleep with you, so you're sleeping with me because I'm the only one who's actually proven that I can tolerate your presence."
Keitaro breathed a sigh of relief. Nami seemed like a nice person. Suddenly, he felt his pocket to notice that his lifesavings were gone.
He held his hand out in front of Nami and said, "Give me back my lifesavings. I need that to get on in life."
Nami smiled nervously and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Keitaro held his hand out further and said, "I'm serious, hand it over."
Suddenly, Sanji came in saying, "Nami, I thought I'd bring you something to help you s-"
He stopped talking as he noticed Keitaro's hand out in front of Nami like he wanted her to do something romantic to him. Sanji reached around his neck, pulled on his collar and stated, "You had better not be asking Nami to make love to you! You know what'll happen if that's the case!"
Nami pulled Sanji's hand away and said, "He was just asking me to return the money I stole from him."
Keitaro turned around and retorted, "So it WAS you!"
Nami gave him his lifesavings back, laughed and left the room. Keitaro asked, "Where are you going?"
Nami grinned and answered, "I have to do something important."
Keitaro was now wondering what this important thing was. He got up, put on his coat and followed her.
He noticed Nami go down the stairs towards that hull. (Or whatever you call the basement to a ship) She walked down the corridors and entered a room. Keitaro noticed that she had left it slightly open, so he peeked through the door to see what she was doing.
He noticed Nami take out a feather quill and start drawing something on a piece of paper. He watched for five minutes to see what was up. He watched for a little longer and thought, 'Seems like she's just drawing.'
He turned around to go back to his room when Nami's voice asked, "Do you want to know what I'm doing?"
Keitaro turned around to see her standing right behind him. He blushed and answered, "Yeah, I was spying on you. Gomen nasai!"
Nami shook her head and said, "It's alright. You're just curious."
Nami took him into the room and showed him what she had drawn. Keitaro's jaw dropped as he said, "This is the best map I have ever seen!"
Nami nodded and explained, "I'm the navigator of this crew, and my dream is to make a map of the world, so I draw maps everyday."
Keitaro smiled. He felt happy finally being treated so nicely. It was nice to meet a girl that didn't beat him up for spying on her.
Nami smiled and said, "I can usually stay up pretty late, but you should go back to sleep."
Keitaro nodded and said, "I am a little tired. Why not?"
Keitaro walked back to his room, turned around and said, "Goodnight, Nami."
Keitaro slept soundly that night, but not before he took some time to think. 'Wow, that Nami is so nice. All of the other crewmembers, even Luffy, told me that she's mean and usually hits everyone for even meddling in her affairs. She's so much easier to be around than Naru, that's for sure."
He yawned, turned off the light and went to sleep.
The next morning during breakfast, Nami and Keitaro continued to talk about random topics. Sanji glared at the two and said, "That Keitaro had better not be moving in on my Nami-sama."
"Oh, give it a rest, shit-cook," retorted Zoro.
Sanji immediately got up and snapped, "You wanna make something of it, seaweed head?"
Zoro let out a weak sigh and answered, "If it'll get you to shut up, I'll gladly put you in your place."
Keitaro and Naru stared as Sanji and Zoro started to duke it out. Zoro punched Sanji in the face as Sanji kicked Zoro in the balls.
Naru turned to Usopp and asked, "Are they always like this?"
Usopp laughed and said, "It's usually for a much stupider reason than this. This is just funny!"
Suddenly, Usopp changed his voice to make it sound like Zoro's and Sanji's as he started talking for them.
"Never call me seaweed head!" "Shut up, shit-swordsman!" "Come on, Sanji! I want you sever my skull!" "I'm not going to do that! I'm too badass!" "No, you're just a sexy hunk of man, Sanji." "Oh, Zoro-kun, I wish I was gay so we could spend our lives together."
Everyone, including Naru and Keitaro couldn't help but laugh at Usopp's perfect impersonations of their voices and the things he had them say. Zoro glared at him and snapped, "You're next, Usopp! Don't think I'll forget this!"
Usopp laughed and said, "I can stop you from remembering! If a seahorse can wipe your memory clean, so can I!"
Sanji and Zoro both joined in to pummeling Usopp until he started screaming "Uncle".
Keitaro just stared and said, "It's never a dull moment for you guys, is it?"
Luffy laughed and stated, "You got that right, mega-perv!"
Keitaro couldn't believe this. He had heard that Luffy liked to give people stupid nicknames, but this was unbelievable. Keitaro was just misunderstood. He got up, hung his head low and went back to his room while Sanji and Zoro continued their onslaught on Usopp.
Keitaro decided not to let that comment get him down. He walked along the deck as he thought, 'I can't believe the retarded captain said that about me. Nami's the only one who has treated me with respect so far. I don't know how to show that I'm not a pervert.'
Suddenly, he took a step forward to find himself between two strange lumps. These weren't ordinary lumps, they were boobs. He looked up to find out that he had just accidentally walked between Robin's knockers.
He laughed nervously and removed his face from between the two twins as he protested, "Please don't hit me, Robin! I didn't see you there!"
Robin laughed and said, "It's okay. I know it was an accident. Besides, you're kind of cute. I wouldn't mind letting you touch me in other places."
Sanji just happened to turn around the corner as she had said that.
He grimaced as he walked up to Keitaro and tapped him on the shoulder. Keitaro turned around as he asked, "What did I tell you about abusing Nami or Robin?"
Keitaro shivered in fear as he explained, "It's not what you think!"
Sanji stated, "I think it is just what I think it is," and sent the poor boy flying into another room with an enormous kick.
Keitaro cried in horror as something soft stopped him from hitting the wall. He looked up to see that this soft thing was Nami, and he was now in between HER boobs.
He shivered as Nami noticed him, raised her Clima Tact and whacked him over the head.
Sanji came in just in time to see Keitaro lying on the ground. Nami looked up at Sanji and stated, "You were right, Sanji! That kid just tried to molest me!"
Sanji may have hated Keitaro right now, but he couldn't stand to let a guy in love be hit on account of an obvious accident. Heck, Robin had just explained to Sanji that everything Keitaro had done was an accident and that he was in love with another girl.
Sanji held Nami's shoulder and explained, "That was my fault. I kicked him into this room and he just happened to land between your hooters."
Nami gasped and let Keitaro up to his feet. She bowed and said, "Gomen nasai, Keitaro-kun! I didn't know it was an accident!"
Keitaro got up, rubbed his forehead and said, "I'm used to it. I'm always misunderstood. You don't know how it is to live my life. Everyday, I always find myself doing bad things by accident. I'm a total klutz, so I usually can't avoid it. Everyday, I always find myself touching a girl in the wrong place because I tripped, and every time, even though it's clearly an accident, I'm always accused of molesting the women of the household and get beaten up for it. Naru beats on me everyday, and I just wish she would get a clue more often."
Naru happened to walk by that room when he said she should get a clue. It's a damn shame she hadn't heard the other stuff.
She marched into the room, went right up to a now shaking Keitaro and was ready to punch him in the face as Sanji just did what no one would have ever seen him do. His stopped Naru in her tracks and kicked her over the head.
Nami stared at him and asked, "Did you just hit a girl?"
Sanji nodded and explained, "I can't let a man in love be abused after going through such a rough life. Sorry for all the crap treatment I gave you, Keitaro. I'll make it up by ending the perv rumor going around."
Keitaro couldn't respond. He was now more scared than ever. He shook with fear and said, "Do you know what you just did, Sanji?"
Naru got up with fire burning in her eyes. Sanji noticed her angry face too. Keitaro was now really scared, not for his safety, but for Sanji's. Sanji had made the biggest mistake in his life. Keitaro would have rather had Naru wail on him. What Sanji didn't know was that Keitaro was basically immortal, so a punch from Naru wouldn't have killed him. Sanji, on the other hand, wasn't immortal, so he was in trouble.
Naru glared at him, punched him in the face and snapped, "TAKE THAT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
Never in his life had Sanji ever hit a girl, and after doing so for the first time in his life, he regretted it.
Sanji lay there and thought, 'I will never hit a girl ever again.'
Naru glared at Keitaro as Nami stood in her way and barked, "Don't move another inch! Keitaro doesn't deserve a punch like that!"
If there was one thing Naru could never hit, it was another girl. She stood down as Nami explained, "Keitaro was just telling us of all the abuse he gets from you over the years. Look, Keitaro's no pervert, and Sanji was just standing up for that right, so don't be mad at them."
Naru simply glared at Nami. Nami grinned and said, "I have to admit, you really are strong. I've never seen a girl hit someone that hard before."
Naru smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself. Is Sanji-kun okay?"
Naru ran up to Sanji who said, "I'm more than okay now that you're by my side."
Naru planted her feet in between his nuts and walked off to her guest room.
Sanji turned to Keitaro and asked, "How do you deal with that bitch everyday?"