Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis and friends but I DO own the plot! So stay away! Grrrrr...

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Chapter One: The Unusual Headmaster

Ireland, Burgingshire, Silverweed school of unusual children

Butler pulled the Bentley up the drive causing Artemis to catch his first glimpse of his new school. Silverweed school for unusual children loomed ahead of him, but Artemis didn't really care. He turned away from the school, studying the clothes on his body with disgust. A T-shirt, jeans and Hoodie.

The shame.

He hated his mother for sending her off to some crackpot school. He felt like throwing up out of the window, he wanted to scream out with fury, he wanted to run away to a distant country, he wanted to order Butler to turn back, he wanted to turn back home right now and return to the comfort of his laptop and have a nice long chat with Holly. He did not wantto go to a school for 'unusual children', wearing a 'Hoodie' and looking 'Cool'. He did not want to spend a whole year correcting teachers' mistakes. It was a waste of time! He could much better things, much more creative things. He could go a design another Opera house, he could paint another Mona Lisa, he could compose another musical masterpiece, he could design a worldwide computer program, he could save the world as we know it, he could win the Olympics-

No actually, he couldn't win the Olympics. Yes, Butler had been training him, but he wasn't that good.

Every genius must accept his flaws, as Artemis' father always repeated to him.

Anyway, he could be doing much better things than learning about acids and English literature. He wanted to go back home NOW.

But he couldn't, no, that would break his mothers' heart. He couldn't bare that. His mother had grown obsessed over the series 'Harry Potter' by J.K Rowling. So much in fact that she wanted to send her son to a school similar to the one situated in the series.

So Artemis was sent off to this 'Hogwarty type school' as his mother put it. Artemis loved his mother dearly, but this was just too much.

Artemis sighed and turned back to the issue of his clothes, seeing as moaning about his mother would just cause misery. What on earth was the point of a hood that didn't keep out the wind, let alone the rain? Or the trousers with over twelve pockets? Or the T-Shirt with some sort of writing that simply could not be read or translated into any known language?

They were ridiculous, Absurd, Silly, Wacky, Balmy, Crazy, Harebrained, Insane, Loony, Potty, Preposterous, Unreasonable Et cetera.

Artemis missed his Armani clothes… His poor, poor Armani clothes… Artemis sighed. His shoes and tuxedo were probably being thrown into the fireplace that very moment…

His hair gel… he missed his hair gel too. All his black hair seemed to fall into his eyes without the substance. His poor hair gel was probably being squirted all over the guard dogs.

Damn you Juliet, Artemis thought, damn you and your 'Hoodies'

Artemis sighed again, gaining a puzzled gaze from Butler. Butler was lucky, his sister never made him wear 'Hoodies' or T-Shirts with unreadable letters or trousers with over twelve pockets.

Artemis had the odd urge to hit his head at the car glass, though he couldn't exactly understand why.

Probably a hormone thing, Artemis thought

"What do you think of the school?" Butler asked as they continued to drive along the dirt road.

"Excuse me?" Artemis asked

"The school, it can be seen from here"

Artemis' eyes followed the small dirt road. It was not at all grand, but the same could not be said for the school. Silverweed school of unusual children was a huge mansion. It probably had a grand view too, seeing as it was in the middle of the moors.

Artemis hated to admit that he was impressed.

"I hate these clothes" Artemis complained, changing the subject of the school, to Butler as they drove into the boarding school's car park, which was also a small thing rather similar to the dirt road.

Butler chuckled "You'd better get used to them Artemis. You've got nothing but those"

Artemis screamed in frustration, not bothering to be polite. Butler was closer to him than his mother; he had nothing to hide from him.

"Well, at least this school is decent" Artemis mumbled as the huge 5 storied mansion loomed in front of them "Though I can't see any 'unusual children' or 'wizards' as mother claims"

Butler chuckled again, and then stopped the car "Shall I help you with your bags or can you handle them yourself?" He asked, turning around to see Artemis properly.

Artemis had changed a lot in a year. After his constant workout by Butler, he had lost his geeky appearance and had gained a look of pure 'cuteness' and 'coolness', as Juliet had stated after horse riding with him. His hair was now a messy mop of black, which suited him well; he really didn't have any time to cut it. He was too busy stealing stolen paintings from thieves.

"I think I can manage to carry a backpack and a suitcase after the training you gave me, old friend" Artemis said, opening the door with one of his infamous smirks. He pulled his bags out from the back, and hauled them out. He smiled at Butler, giving him a nod and waved goodbye to him as he drove out of the 18 acres the school stood on.

Artemis let out a sigh, wondering how he was going to manage without Butler, and with his horrible Hoodie, but he made his way to the school all the same. His mother had told him to go to the headmasters' office first, which was round the back. Well, actually, everything was round the back. It seemed that the school liked to have a bit of privacy.

But Artemis' attention was directed to the calm, dirty blond haired boy that was walking past him, his head burrowed deep into a book: 'By The Light of the Moon'

Artemis stared at the boy as he walked by, wondering why he was so entranced by him. He was a simple thing. Artemis had no reason to find him so interesting.

He was going insane.

First, the urge to bang ones head against a window, second, an urge to speak to a complete stranger.

I must keep calm, this whole thing is probably from hormones or nerves and such, Artemis mumbled to himself.

Artemis walked pass the boy, muttering to himself until he walked right into a door. He opened it, walked through, and continued his muttering as he walked until he bumped into another door, and then another, and then another….

This continued for several minutes, in which he managed to walk into the headmasters' room by pure accident.

"Ah, Mr. Fowl, I've been expecting you"

Artemis stopped his muttering and lifted his head, realizing where he was.

The headmasters' room…

Great entrance O noble fowl, Artemis thought in shame, and quickly examined the room in case of booby traps and the sort.

Artemis gasped

Scenes' of the moors outside covered the walls, painted so realistically that he could have sworn he had seen a flock of storks fly out of the trees and into the sky. It was amazing, the best painting Artemis had ever seen. Better than The Fairy Thief, better than every masterpiece he had ever returned to the public. And this painting was on such a scale…

"Exquisite, isn't it? Most of the students adore it. Our Art teacher spends hours trying to copy it, she hasn't succeeded so far. She holds a competition every year to see who can make a decent copy" The voice said, causing Artemis to realize where he was and continue to analyze the room.

It was a plainly furnished room, which was rather disappointing. It held three or four cupboards, a Turkish carpet carefully laid in front of the mahogany desk where the headmaster sat. The headmaster was exactly like the room, plainly furnished. He was a handsome, middle aged man, his hair the same colour as the wooden chair he sat on. His eyes were blue, sparkling like a fresh water stream.

"I apologize Sir, for barging in. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going" Artemis said, knowing that Holly would have probably fainted if she had heard him apologize to a lowly teacher.

He half wished she was here, with him.

"Yes yes… That seems to happen a lot to our new students. Now, you know why you're here, I know why you're here, so we better get cracking, haven't we?" The professor said, smiling pleasantly "You are here to be sorted into your house, and given your class planner and an introduction to the school-"

Artemis nodded, sitting down opposite the teacher.

"So we'll start on the introduction. I am Professor Silver, headmaster of Silverweed school of unusual children, as you well know. My school was built as a mansion in 1823 and was turned into a school for Unusual Children in 1926. The children are sorted into four houses, like most British schools. The houses are named after mythical creatures. I'm sure your house mates will be happy to tell you about the creatures they are named after, but I'll start of with what the symbolize, shall I? Salamander is the house where people with courage and faith in themselves go, when Ibex is where the wise and learned end up. Pixies, I must say, are the more naughty ones, but they are very hardworking and very talented students. And last but not least is Falin, where the evil ones among us go" The headmaster continued in a matter-of-factly tone "Of course, no one is really evil. They are just misunderstood people; a lot of them have gone through a dark past" The headmaster paused "So, yes, anyway, I have to know a lot about the student in question before sorting them"

The headmaster pulled out a pile of papers from under his desk

"And I was surprised how much I could find about your family, a whole library worth of information, but extremely little about you. The only thing I could find about you was your criminal record"

Artemis smirked, knowing perfectly well what the professor was about to say

"And I was even more shocked to find it completely empty. You have apparently been a little angel all your life"

Artemis' smirk widened

"But when you reached the age of 6, your family fortune experienced a steady gain, even though there was no one in your family who was working"

"Your point is Sir?"

The headmaster leaned towards him

"My point is that you are not a little angel as your family and the rest of the world believes, but rather a little demon. Stealing from the age of six? Rather outrageous"

Artemis' smirk vanished

"You're cleverer than you appear Professor" Artemis said coldly

"Why, thank you Mr. Fowl" The headmaster said, smiling happily, then quickly continued "So I came to the conclusion that you were quite a clever person, for you seemed to have escaped from everything thrown at you, until you retired. The youngest and best criminal mastermind, retired at the age of 16-"

Artemis smiled; he was rather starting to like this man.

"Only to appear a month later, returning stolen masterpieces to museums around the world"

Artemis' gaze turned stone cold

"I'm afraid you have been mistaken Professor… Silver, was it? Yes, Professor Silver. I may be a thief, a proud one at that, but I am not the one who is returning those stolen masterpieces. The Fairy Thief was stolen out of my vault at midnight. I have nothing to do with the stolen painting, except for the fact that I stole most of them"

"You have nothing to hide from me, Mr. Fowl. I know things you know not, though I don't think I could have returned those paintings. How many have been returned now?"

"Exactly fifty" Artemis said before he could stop himself, and promptly hit his head against Professors desk.

"Really? I thought it was Forty Nine" The headmaster studied the newspaper on his desk, ignoring the fact that his student was hurting himself "Which page is the last painting on?"

Artemis sighed, lifting his head "Second page"

"Yes, I see it now" The professor said, starting to read the article, and continued to do so for another five minutes until Artemis spoke:

"Now that you have defeated me rather spectacularly sir, would you mind sorting me into my house?"

The headmaster raised his head from the newspaper "Didn't I tell you? Oh, I'm terribly sorry. My mind does wander a bit time to time"

"My house?" Artemis reminded him

"You are a Pixie; your class planner is on your lap"

Artemis stared at his lap, to see that a planner had appeared on his lap from out of no where. It was small, roughly the size of his hand and a calm leaf green. Artemis smiled, picking up the notebook and walking out of the room.

"Goodbye Professor"

"Yes yes, goodbye Artemis. I hope you have a good day ect. ect."

I will be having a good day sir, Artemis thought, a very good day

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Please review! I want to hear how crap I write people!

cough cough Anyway, I had a seriously hard time doing the houses. I swear, J.K Rowling must have really been a genius to plan out Hogwarts and everything, not that I based Silverweed on Hogwarts. Silverweed is based on my old School: Chayfn Grove school.

If anyone from Chayfn Grove is reading this, send me a email or a review or something! I miss Chayfn Grove like hell!