Chapter Sixteen: Asking Lily
Sirius took a second to register the words, then opened his mouth, closed it and finally said, "No. No, James loves Lily."
"I do, too," Remus said patiently.
"You love Lily?" Sirius repeated weakly, almost to confirm it to himself, and then louder, and more fiercely, "You love Lily?"
"Yes."
"No, no, no, this is wrong. You can't both love her, that's mad." Sirius couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. "Everyone knows James loves her, even Lily knows."
"Well maybe everyone was concentrating so much on James that they didn't notice me!" Remus shouted. "Of course they know he loves her, he yells about it every day. Just because he's more popular does it mean I don't have the right to love her?"
Sirius stared, mouth open, still trying to digest it. He shook his head slightly and said, "I'm sorry, Moony, it was just such a shock." Then he asked the inevitable. "Does she love you?"
Remus sank into a chair and stared into the fire. "I don't know." He tried to collect his thoughts before articulating them. "But she can't have much of an aversion to me, you saw us just now." He looked up at Sirius. "I didn't force myself on her, you know."
Sirius, still standing, saw the misery on his friend's face and kept quiet. He felt torn apart by horses. James, his best friend, could potentially have his heart broken once and for all – surely he should warn him; yet here was his other best friend, utterly depressed at a time when he should feel elated.
"Sirius, what should I do?" Remus asked quietly. He looked up from the fire, his eyes defeated, yet hopeful that Sirius would have the answer.
Sirius felt bewildered. People didn't ask him for advice; it just wasn't something that happened. "I don't know. But let's not tell James, yet."
The two of them fell asleep in their chairs by the fire that night, after chatting for a long time about Bethan and her new beau (Sirius used the word with contempt), and the upcoming Christmas Ball, which was to take place at the end of the week, the evening before most of the students would leave for the holidays. They had decided that Sirius would ask Lily to go with him, to avoid friction between Remus and James.
"I may as well go with Lily, seeing as I can't ask Bethan," Sirius said moodily.
"Oh, quit your whining," Remus replied, "It's getting old. You're lucky to go with Lily."
"Yeah yeah, you would say that." Sirius shifted restlessly in his armchair. "What's so great about that big hunk of muscle, anyway?"
"I think – what you just said," Remus answered. "He's a big hunk of muscle." He gave his friend a swift glance. "You scared of him, Padfoot?"
"No!"
"You should be. He almost flattened you in that match, imagine what he could do to you with his bare hands."
Sirius looked annoyed, but recognising the truth in Remus' words, admitted, "I don't like to."
The next morning Remus was woken by people coming down the stairs getting ready, collecting stray books and heading out the portrait hole for breakfast. He shook Sirius to consciousness and asked quietly, "You gonna ask Lily today?"
Sirius stared up through bleary, half-shut eyes. "Ask her what?"
"To the ball?" Remus reminded him.
"Don't you want to ask her? Or James might want to..."
Remus tutted impatiently. "No – we talked about it last night, Sirius! You were going to ask her, so that neither of us could."
"Oh, right, right," Sirius remembered. "Gotcha." He gave Remus a grin and closed his eyes again.
Remus shook him again. Sirius batted his hands away, muttering, "Hey, hey! No touchy!"
Remus hit him over the head, waking him up properly. Before he could protest, Remus said, "She's coming now! Get in before James does!"
Sighing, Sirius rose and stretched, before going to meet Lily on the stairs. Remus, not wanting to stay to witness him practising his charms on the girl he liked, saw James coming down the other stairs, and recognised a welcome escape in getting him down to the Great Hall for breakfast without seeing Sirius and Lily together.
Sirius joined the others about five minutes later at the Gryffindor table and discreetly gave Remus the thumbs up, to let him know the plan their plan had taken effect. Remus smiled weakly; he was relieved and disappointed: there would be no beef between he and James, but Lily obviously didn't have a fierce longing for them to go together. He returned his attentions to his breakfast, only looking up when the girls entered, Adriana accompanied by Peter. Sirius carefully turned his eyes away when Bethan said good morning to Marley Branson at the Ravenclaw table next to theirs.
The last day of term arrived at last. The lessons the Gryffindors had that day were Transfiguration, Charms and Astronomy; all were double periods, much to their dismay.
"No one should have to deal with an angry McGonagall first thing in the morning," James said as they walked to her lesson.
"If you had your way then we wouldn't have to deal with any lesson in the morning," Sirius replied. "And what makes you think McGonagall will be angry, anyway?"
James gave him a withering look. "She's always angry." Looking ahead of them through the dispelling crowd, he saw Lily waiting outside the Transfiguration classroom with the other girls. "Wish me luck, Padfoot!" he said, preparing to dash off.
"For what?" Sirius asked, alarmed, grabbing James' bag strap.
"I'm asking Lily to the ball tonight!" James said impatiently, trying to free himself.
"Er, James, listen to the little voice," Sirius warned him. "What do you think she'll say? You're not exactly her favourite person at the moment, and don't you think it's a bit late – someone's probably already asked her."
"Fine, I'll wish myself luck," James said, having apparently ignored his friend's advice, and ran down the corridor.
Sirius held his hand out, where he had been holding onto James. "James... the little voice..." he said desperately. "Shit," he muttered, as Remus appeared next to him.
"What's up?" he asked, seeing Sirius' worried expression.
"James has just gone to ask Lily to the ball."
"But you asked her."
"I know." Sirius bit his lip. He hadn't really thought this far when they'd discussed it last night. Now his best friend would be seriously upset. But he'd rather have that than his two best friends fighting, he decided, squaring his shoulders as he saw James return, his face livid.
"Sirius, I'm sorry," Remus said quickly, as he saw James' expression, too.
"Don't worry about it."
"It seems someone has already asked her," James said as he reached them, brown eyes blazing. "You were right, Sirius – funny that. Oh, actually it's not, seeing as you were the one who asked her."
"Prongs, look," Sirius smiled, trying to dispel the anger, but this didn't work so well on James as it did on the girls. "I can explain. I only asked her because I knew she probably wouldn't say yes to you, and I didn't want you to be upset when she went with someone else."
James was still frowning, the angry glare of someone unused to defeat. "And you didn't think I'd be upset about my best friend taking her?" he asked, arms folded across his chest.
"I don't fancy her or anything, James," Sirius assured him earnestly, while Remus shifted uncomfortably beside him. "And I know it's not the perfect arrangement, but at least now you don't have to worry about some clown treating her badly."
James' expression cleared a little. He lowered his arms. "Fine," he muttered, unwilling to admit that Sirius was right. "Come on, then, or McGonagall really will be angry."
As he swept away again, Sirius loitered behind, saying to Remus under his breath, "Listen, I explained to Lily about our plan, and she thought it was good. She would rather have gone with you than with Prongs, mate." He slapped Remus on the shoulder as they entered the room, to an icy stare and "You're late", from Professor McGonagall. Remus grinned to himself nonetheless.
Sirius took a second to register the words, then opened his mouth, closed it and finally said, "No. No, James loves Lily."
"I do, too," Remus said patiently.
"You love Lily?" Sirius repeated weakly, almost to confirm it to himself, and then louder, and more fiercely, "You love Lily?"
"Yes."
"No, no, no, this is wrong. You can't both love her, that's mad." Sirius couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. "Everyone knows James loves her, even Lily knows."
"Well maybe everyone was concentrating so much on James that they didn't notice me!" Remus shouted. "Of course they know he loves her, he yells about it every day. Just because he's more popular does it mean I don't have the right to love her?"
Sirius stared, mouth open, still trying to digest it. He shook his head slightly and said, "I'm sorry, Moony, it was just such a shock." Then he asked the inevitable. "Does she love you?"
Remus sank into a chair and stared into the fire. "I don't know." He tried to collect his thoughts before articulating them. "But she can't have much of an aversion to me, you saw us just now." He looked up at Sirius. "I didn't force myself on her, you know."
Sirius, still standing, saw the misery on his friend's face and kept quiet. He felt torn apart by horses. James, his best friend, could potentially have his heart broken once and for all – surely he should warn him; yet here was his other best friend, utterly depressed at a time when he should feel elated.
"Sirius, what should I do?" Remus asked quietly. He looked up from the fire, his eyes defeated, yet hopeful that Sirius would have the answer.
Sirius felt bewildered. People didn't ask him for advice; it just wasn't something that happened. "I don't know. But let's not tell James, yet."
The two of them fell asleep in their chairs by the fire that night, after chatting for a long time about Bethan and her new beau (Sirius used the word with contempt), and the upcoming Christmas Ball, which was to take place at the end of the week, the evening before most of the students would leave for the holidays. They had decided that Sirius would ask Lily to go with him, to avoid friction between Remus and James.
"I may as well go with Lily, seeing as I can't ask Bethan," Sirius said moodily.
"Oh, quit your whining," Remus replied, "It's getting old. You're lucky to go with Lily."
"Yeah yeah, you would say that." Sirius shifted restlessly in his armchair. "What's so great about that big hunk of muscle, anyway?"
"I think – what you just said," Remus answered. "He's a big hunk of muscle." He gave his friend a swift glance. "You scared of him, Padfoot?"
"No!"
"You should be. He almost flattened you in that match, imagine what he could do to you with his bare hands."
Sirius looked annoyed, but recognising the truth in Remus' words, admitted, "I don't like to."
The next morning Remus was woken by people coming down the stairs getting ready, collecting stray books and heading out the portrait hole for breakfast. He shook Sirius to consciousness and asked quietly, "You gonna ask Lily today?"
Sirius stared up through bleary, half-shut eyes. "Ask her what?"
"To the ball?" Remus reminded him.
"Don't you want to ask her? Or James might want to..."
Remus tutted impatiently. "No – we talked about it last night, Sirius! You were going to ask her, so that neither of us could."
"Oh, right, right," Sirius remembered. "Gotcha." He gave Remus a grin and closed his eyes again.
Remus shook him again. Sirius batted his hands away, muttering, "Hey, hey! No touchy!"
Remus hit him over the head, waking him up properly. Before he could protest, Remus said, "She's coming now! Get in before James does!"
Sighing, Sirius rose and stretched, before going to meet Lily on the stairs. Remus, not wanting to stay to witness him practising his charms on the girl he liked, saw James coming down the other stairs, and recognised a welcome escape in getting him down to the Great Hall for breakfast without seeing Sirius and Lily together.
Sirius joined the others about five minutes later at the Gryffindor table and discreetly gave Remus the thumbs up, to let him know the plan their plan had taken effect. Remus smiled weakly; he was relieved and disappointed: there would be no beef between he and James, but Lily obviously didn't have a fierce longing for them to go together. He returned his attentions to his breakfast, only looking up when the girls entered, Adriana accompanied by Peter. Sirius carefully turned his eyes away when Bethan said good morning to Marley Branson at the Ravenclaw table next to theirs.
The last day of term arrived at last. The lessons the Gryffindors had that day were Transfiguration, Charms and Astronomy; all were double periods, much to their dismay.
"No one should have to deal with an angry McGonagall first thing in the morning," James said as they walked to her lesson.
"If you had your way then we wouldn't have to deal with any lesson in the morning," Sirius replied. "And what makes you think McGonagall will be angry, anyway?"
James gave him a withering look. "She's always angry." Looking ahead of them through the dispelling crowd, he saw Lily waiting outside the Transfiguration classroom with the other girls. "Wish me luck, Padfoot!" he said, preparing to dash off.
"For what?" Sirius asked, alarmed, grabbing James' bag strap.
"I'm asking Lily to the ball tonight!" James said impatiently, trying to free himself.
"Er, James, listen to the little voice," Sirius warned him. "What do you think she'll say? You're not exactly her favourite person at the moment, and don't you think it's a bit late – someone's probably already asked her."
"Fine, I'll wish myself luck," James said, having apparently ignored his friend's advice, and ran down the corridor.
Sirius held his hand out, where he had been holding onto James. "James... the little voice..." he said desperately. "Shit," he muttered, as Remus appeared next to him.
"What's up?" he asked, seeing Sirius' worried expression.
"James has just gone to ask Lily to the ball."
"But you asked her."
"I know." Sirius bit his lip. He hadn't really thought this far when they'd discussed it last night. Now his best friend would be seriously upset. But he'd rather have that than his two best friends fighting, he decided, squaring his shoulders as he saw James return, his face livid.
"Sirius, I'm sorry," Remus said quickly, as he saw James' expression, too.
"Don't worry about it."
"It seems someone has already asked her," James said as he reached them, brown eyes blazing. "You were right, Sirius – funny that. Oh, actually it's not, seeing as you were the one who asked her."
"Prongs, look," Sirius smiled, trying to dispel the anger, but this didn't work so well on James as it did on the girls. "I can explain. I only asked her because I knew she probably wouldn't say yes to you, and I didn't want you to be upset when she went with someone else."
James was still frowning, the angry glare of someone unused to defeat. "And you didn't think I'd be upset about my best friend taking her?" he asked, arms folded across his chest.
"I don't fancy her or anything, James," Sirius assured him earnestly, while Remus shifted uncomfortably beside him. "And I know it's not the perfect arrangement, but at least now you don't have to worry about some clown treating her badly."
James' expression cleared a little. He lowered his arms. "Fine," he muttered, unwilling to admit that Sirius was right. "Come on, then, or McGonagall really will be angry."
As he swept away again, Sirius loitered behind, saying to Remus under his breath, "Listen, I explained to Lily about our plan, and she thought it was good. She would rather have gone with you than with Prongs, mate." He slapped Remus on the shoulder as they entered the room, to an icy stare and "You're late", from Professor McGonagall. Remus grinned to himself nonetheless.