Title: Dying Inside
Pairings: This is sort of a prequel for InuKag.
Summary: Cruelty, betrayal, abuse, neglect; these are all of the foundations. The foundations of self destruction. This is a tale of Inuyasha's past. His past and the beginning of a new future.
Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own them today. Won't own them tomorrow.
Prologue
The Foundations
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Throughout my short lifetime I have learned of the harsh and cold mannerisms of the world. Cruelty, betrayal, abuse, neglect: these are all of the foundations. These are all of the raw stones which have built a gigantic wall around me; one day to crumble down onto my very person.
With every truth ten more lies are born. With every joyous birth of a new born child; hundreds of gruesome deaths are to follow thereafter. Yet the world still spins round, and the universe moves forward; dragging me along with it willingly or not.
Sometimes I wonder, why even bless me with the gift of breath if only to kill me in a slower more painful way?
Why?
All of these questions — questions with no spoken nor written answers run through my clouded head. Questions mocking me; laughing at me. No matter how long I search or ponder, these questions remain a mystery as if on purpose to prolong my suffering.
Don't take me the wrong way. Once upon a time I was happier than most can claim. Carefree was the story of my life with absolutely no knowledge of the terrible going-ons of feudal Japan. No knowledge of the truth.
But that was a long time ago.
Pinned to this tree; I possess all of the time in the universe. I am not dead. Yet, I am not alive either.
I just...am.
With endless time and only my thoughts to keep me company; I have time to sift through the muddled disaster called myself. I have time to mull over my worthless life, and to grow wiser of my pathetic situation.
Looking back, I have always been ridiculed for who and what I am: a filthy half-breed; unworthy to the world of demons and a hell of a monstrosity to the civilization of humans.
I am alone.
I have always been alone. If not in reality—then in spirit.
My useless life has hardened my soul; my expression. Frozen over by thousands of biting ice crystals; all of which created by the very foundations.
My outlook on life: now cold and suspicious.
But the irony of it; is that all of my experiences have morphed me into one of them. The very one's that I despise, and even though I live on bitterly accepting each and every day; I am really dying.
I am dying inside.
This, I know now. I am slowly withering away; slipping into a dark ocean of nothing. The fierce waves carrying me away with nothing to hold onto as I cry out to deaf and ignorant ears.
Dying inside.