This is a bit of a long, conversation-based chapter, but I like Sirius, and you must too, so enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen: It's cold out here by the lake

Lily sat at the side of the lake, staring into its black depths and thinking about Remus, and James, and how she should probably get up soon before she was frozen to the spot. Like James and Sirius, she had grown tired of the jollity of the ball, and come out here for some peace and thinking space. She shivered; the night air was biting and she was only wearing her dress robes.

She blinked and jumped in alarm as a handful of flowers appeared before her eyes, closely followed by the grinning face of Sirius Black. He was wearing his hat still, and he swayed slightly, making her wonder what he had been doing out here.

She smiled back weakly and said, "You scared me."

"You're not the only one," he replied. "Sometimes I'm so hot I scare myself."

"What're the flowers for?" she asked, squinting up at him.

"I just liked them, that's all," Sirius said musingly, inspecting the delicate white petals. "They're winter daisies. They're for you. I thought some daisies might cheer you up." He held them out to her again.

Lily took them. "Thank you," she said quietly, twirling them in her fingers as she went back to staring at the lake's dark waters.

Sirius frowned down at her. "Well, obviously I was wrong," he said. "Personally, I would be very pleased if someone gave me a lovely bunch of winter daisies... but they're not for everyone. I guess I'm just a softie."

Lily looked back up at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sirius. I was just thinking about things."

He sat down in the snow next to her. "I know," he said softly, dropping the comedy act. "What are you thinking? You can tell Uncle Padfoot."

Lily was quiet for a moment. "Well, you know about me and Remus." Sirius nodded and waited for her to continue. "He's a great guy, as you know, and I really like him, but I feel like what happened was a mistake." She looked to see his reaction and whether he would say anything. When he didn't she carried on, trying to find the words to express herself. "And recently, I've been looking at James and" – she gave a self-deprecating laugh – "I know I said I would never go out with him, and I know you're his best friend so you'll go and tell him this straight away, but I've definitely been seeing him differently, and my feelings are changing, though I hate to admit it."

Up until now Lily had been looking out across the lake to the trees beyond while she spoke, carefully avoiding Sirius' gaze. Now she finally turned to him, and his brown eyes were warm and understanding as he nodded, smiling. He was relieved that Lily had at last realised her true feelings, which he had found obvious for a long time.

However, there was one problem, and his expression grew more serious as he said, "So you've accepted that you and James are meant for each other... What about Remus?"

The embarrassed smile fell from Lily's face and she hid her head in her arms. "Oh, I don't know!" she wailed. "I don't want to hurt him, he's too lovely to be hurt! But the way I feel about James, I don't know how I've only just seen it... and I can't let that pass." She looked up at him again, anxiously waiting for his opinion.

"I think you worry too much about other people," Sirius told her. "I mean, sure, Moony will be upset – but it won't be forever. And like you said, you have to be, to use a silly phrase, true to yourself."

"I like your thinking," Lily smiled, "It means I can do what I like."

"Well, yeah," he agreed, "you can't live your life wondering whether other people will be overly affected by what you do."

"That's obviously the philosophy you and James stick by," Lily said, grinning again.

"Why else would I say it?" he asked, spreading his hands. He could see that, although she seemed to have cheered up, there was still doubt and worry behind her eyes. "And Remus will be okay," he tried once again to reassure her, and decided to return to his traditional role of comedian, saying with a cheeky grin, "Don't flatter yourself too much, Lily, it's not like you're impossible to get over or something."

"I know," she said, accepting his jibe with submission. "It'll just be hard, seeing him sad and knowing it's my fault."

"If it'll make you feel better," Sirius said, his eyes twinkling, "I'll keep him company and we can be miserable together."

"Why would you be miserable?" she asked, a slight frown creasing her forehead as she thought. "You don't fancy Adriana any more."

"No, I don't," he agreed mysteriously, and left it there, unwilling to go into the whole painful Bethan scenario again. "You know what, Lily darling?" he asked after a while of sitting quietly.

"What, Sirius dear?"

"My arse is fucking freezing." She laughed loudly in surprise at this unexpected revelation, and he grinned appreciatively.

"Maybe we should be going, then," Lily suggested, starting to get up. "Let's go back to the common room, or people might miss us and get suspicious."

"No, I can't get up," Sirius moaned, looking imploringly up to where she stood above him. "I'm frozen to this spot, I can't move."

"Oh come on, stop larking about, I'm cold," she laughed, reaching down to tug on his arm. He didn't budge, remaining fixed to the ground, and his face remaining serious beneath the hat.

"I'm telling you, I can't move. You go, save yourself, and I'll stay here, immortalised forever as a particularly handsome ice statue wearing a knock- out suit."

Lily pulled harder on his arm, making him rock from side to side. "Ooh, you're helping, pull harder girl, that's good." He cackled naughtily as she hit him over the head, and then finally collapsed onto the ground. Lily fell down, too, as she had been holding onto him so tightly.

"Hello, love." Their faces were close as they lay beside each other in the snow.

Lily clambered to her feet again. "Alright, get up. Things are complicated enough with James and Remus. I am not entering you into the equation."

"What makes you think I would want to be involved in your equation of lurve?" Sirius asked from where he still lay splayed on the ground.

"Oh, please." Lily nudged him with her foot, and he rolled over and stood up.

As they meandered their way back to the castle, stamping great footprints in the crunchy snow, Lily linked her arm through Sirius' in an effort to keep a bit warmer.

"Do you want my jacket?" he asked, his teeth chattering and his wet hair starting to freeze into icicles.

"No, you keep it," she replied, her own teeth chattering to rival his.

"Good, I think I would die without it."

After a few more yards, he heard her sigh and saw her breath in the cold air, and suspected she was wallowing again. Without any prompting from him, she said, "I feel so bad about Remus."

"You should, you're about to break his heart." He looked at her and saw the anguished expression, and said quickly, "That was a joke."

"Well, it wasn't funny." She elbowed him lightly and added, "It was true."

"No it wasn't, I keep telling you; you have to live your own life. Moony will be over you in no time."

"Hey!" she elbowed him harder.

"No offence. But it'll be okay. You know how fickle werewolves are – their hearts change with every full moon. He'll move on." He glanced down at her before adding, "I did."

Her snapped round. "What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.

"I fancied you once," he said lightly, with no hint of embarrassment.

"Shut up! No you didn't!" Lily cried; indeed, she seemed more mortified that he did.

"Don't tell me whom I have and have not fancied," he said sternly, and carried on, using tragic tones to make the situation humorous, "It was in the fourth year, when we first started to really get to know each other. Of course, James had loved you since the first year, so I didn't tell him, and I had to work through that difficult time by myself."

"Oh, you poor dear," she said flippantly.

"I know. So you see," he continued, over-dramatically, "Remus will be better off than I was, because he'll have a friend to help him."

"And a brilliant friend at that," Lily told him, giving his arm a squeeze. Sirius smiled self-consciously and made no answer.

"No, you really are a great friend," she said, green eyes wide with sincerity, "even to a pathetically self-obsessed girl like me. Thank you for this lovely chat."

"You're welcome," he replied, as they reached the castle doors, and basked in the sudden warmth of the school.

The Great Hall was empty now, and the teachers were clearing up with their wands. None of them noticed Sirius and Lily come in out of the cold, and the two students made their way up to the Gryffindor Tower.

When they were standing in front of the Fat Lady, waiting for her to wake up, Sirius asked Lily, "What are you going to do now, then?"

"Well, I'll have to tell Remus that it can't happen," she said miserably, pulling a face at the prospect of breaking his heart. "And then I suppose I'll swell James' enormous head even further by admitting he was right all along."

Sirius winced at the thought of James with an even bigger head, and then wondered where he had got to, after supposedly going for more alcohol.