viii.

part eight
:-:-: theme; maps by maroon 5 :-:-:

Octavia is shocked awake by her collar; an experience that isn't anything new.

She's shocked awake at five in the morning every day, and her reflexes have her quickly rolling out of bed to stand at attention— Or at least, she attempts to.

Octavia is stopped before she can even bring herself to sit up, and is forced back down on her metal cot. All at once, the pain and memories of the fight —Micah— hit her. The person holding her down seemed to anticipate her incoming panic, and quickly held her down with much more force.

"Octavia, please calm down. I don't want to have to restrain you."

Unsurprisingly, it was Jeb who was holding her down and trying to placate her.

"He was alive, and you didn't tell me! You let me believe he was dead!" The brunette continued to kick and thrash despite the immense pain her body was in. The bandages pressed tightly against her wounds and rubbed at them as she struggled against Jeb's hold.

"Octavia, please— I thought he was dead, too. I didn't know— Please calm down!"

He was lying, she just knew it. She was stupid to trust him again, despite all he had done. Jeb would always be a whitecoat; everything he did was to benefit him and his research. He never cared about her.

"You are dead," Octavia spat, baring her teeth, "I promise that one day I will kill you. Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I will be the one to put you in a grave, dead man—"

Jeb looks at her with a pained expression, but refuses to release her. Just before she can continue to fight him, her collar activates and shocks her into submission. The man quickly lets her go in order to step back, only watching as her body shakes from the aftershocks.

"Sir, are you okay!?" The door to her cell is forced open and two guards rush into the room, their guns aimed and ready to fire. "We were alerted that her collar went off."

"I'm fine, the collar just sensed her stress and acted accordingly…" Jeb takes a breath before looking to the two men, "You're dismissed."

They nodded, giving Octavia a wary glance before leaving the cell.

"Please," Jeb says in a defeated voice. Octavia wants to scoff— as if she would fall for anymore of his tricks. "Just believe me when I say that I had nothing to do with this. I thought your brother died when they performed that experiment on him, and the fight that took place… I had been busy with those children I told you about," He smiled slightly, "The ones who I said would be your new family."

Octavia wouldn't be fooled. She had no interest in those other children; all she could think about was MIcah, and how hurt and scared he looked and just how wrong it all was. He was alive— She didn't care that he had tried to kill her. The boy was probably scared out of his mind; he didn't have a developed mind like Octavia did. He couldn't handle the thought of torture or pain. He was just trying to survive, and how could she ever hate him for that?

"I want to see him," She whispered, "I want to see my brother."

At that, once again, Jeb showed her a look of immense sorrow. Instead of meeting her eyes, the man looked down to the cemented floor and clenched his jaw. "...'Tavia—"

"Don't call me that."

"Octavia," Jeb said patiently, finally meeting her harsh gaze. "He didn't… Micah succumbed to his powers." Immediately, Octavia began to shake her head in denial. She saw him. She saw him get knocked unconscious— She saw. "He wasn't able to handle them like you did. The scientists are calling him a failure—"

"Don't call him that!"

Jeb raises his hands in surrender, "—They said his body couldn't take the changes. It was lucky he lasted for as long as he did—"

"It's been six months, and he's been alive this whole time!" Octavia yells hysterically, tears falling down her face. "He's been alive, and when I finally get him back, I lose him again— Why, why, why—" She doesn't even try to protest when Jeb wraps his arms around her.

Jeb holds the girl in his arms, murmuring words of comfort as she continues to cry. All the fight seems to leave her as she clings to him.

"Don't let this break you. It's what they want. It's probably why they kept him a secret from you— They wanted to let you grieve, only to return him to you and then take him away again. Don't let them win, 'Tavia. Darling, don't let them break you."

"Why does this keep happening?" Her voice cracks, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this…"

"I know, child. I know."

Octavia is silent as she is forced into a form-fitting jumpsuit that has the School's emblem on it. She now has the appearance of an obedient weapon, topped off with the shock collar around her neck and the vacant expression on her face.

When the guards leave, Jeb takes their place and tries to speak soothing and comforting words into her ear.

Octavia doesn't listen. She just thinks about the burn scar on her body— About Micah. It's not healthy to dwell on depressing things like this, she is well aware. If she wants to get better, she has to try, but honestly… Octavia isn't sure what she wants anymore.

She trusts, only to get betrayed. She forgives, only to get betrayed. Will the cycle keep repeating itself?

The brunette doesn't want to experience happiness if it is fleeting. She doesn't want to feel anything at all, really. Nothing sounds just right— Octavia wants to feel nothing; she wants to be nothing.

"You are not nothing," Jeb says, and the brunette realizes she was saying everything out loud. The man is giving her a stern look— it's an expression you would see a father give his child. Which is ridiculous, Octavia wants to scoff, because Jeb isn't her father.

"You are Octavia," Jeb says with conviction. "You are the strongest girl I know, and you will survive this. I promised you that I would get you out of here— and I will. Please, just hold on until I can set things into motion."

Octavia meets his eyes, and she can see how serious he is. She wants to nod and tell him okay, but she can't do that just yet. How can she change her outlook so quickly, when she's already thoroughly convinced herself to stop trying?

So, Octavia simply blinks before looking away to stare at the concrete wall of her cell again.

Jeb sighs, hanging his head in defeat. Still, he looks back up and Octavia can feel his determined gaze burn into her skin before he says, "I won't give up on you."

He leaves, and Octavia is alone again.