Hello again reader. This time it is Ness who shall be teased by this announcer person.

Disclaimer: None of the characters in this chapter are mine.

Ness strolled in a poorly lightened room, dragging his baseball bat. He spotted the chair, took a seat, and waited for what happened next.

"Know your smashers, know your smashers, know your smashers, know your smashers," chimed the announcer.

"Who's there? You scared me!" Ness shivered, his bottom lip trembling.

The announcer sighed. "Just doing my job kid. Ness…he carved the lyrics to the Barney theme song in Popo's hammer."

Ness got a surprised look on his face. "I wouldn't do that! I don't even know the words to that song."

"Right…."

"It's true!" Ness objected, with the possibility of there being a hint of guilt in his voice.

"Ness…he just admitted that I'm right," the announcer declared, sounding satisfied.

"No I didn't! I was saying I don't know the words. Honest!"

"Sure…." The announcer responded sarcastically. "Ness…he stuffed his hat with fried tuna yesterday."

"What? Who are you and where do these insane lies come from?"

"I'll just say I have my sources."

"They're wrong!"

"Ness…" the voice paused for dramatic effect. "He is so weak, he gets a stunt double just to lift his own yo-yo."

"That's not right!" Ness yelled back. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his yo-yo, showing off a trick. After that, he rolled the string back up and tucked it away. "See? I can lift it. I'm not the strongest character, thanks to Nintendo, bu-"

"Silence you fool! That was your stunt double. I know it!" The announcer proclaimed.

Ness obeyed, saying nothing and guiltlessly spinning his thumbs in miniature circles.

"Ness…he showers every 1st and 3rd Tuesday each month."

"Eww! I would smell really bad if I did that." He crinkled up his pea-sized nose to show his disgust.

"You do."

"ARGHH!" Ness screamed in frustration.

"Ness…made out with his baseball bat for exactly 4 hours, 21 minutes, and 9 seconds last Friday night."

"Who told y- I mean, no I didn't!" Ness blushed.

"Aha!" cried the announcer, as if he were a detective that had just solved a mystery. "So you did. In case you're wondering, Pikachu told me."

"I'll kill him."

"You can't."

Ness asked, "Why not?"

"You'll need your stunt double if you want to use that pathetic yo-yo attack, and I heard he's going to Hawaii for a vacation for a month."

Ness's face boiled with anger and became a deep scarlet. "That's it!" He declared. "I'm leaving."

"Now you know…Ness, the wimp who needs a stunt double and makes out with his baseball bat," our unknown announcer concluded.

The young black-haired boybegan to sob and stomped off.

There's Ness. I don't dislike any of these characters; I'm just doing this for fun. And I will make chapters for them all. Next up is Marth.