Here is chapter 5. I will take suggestions if you have any, so feel free to send some in. By a few requests, next will be Roy. And I own nothing.
Marth stepped away from the guard, triumphantly holding the sweet, chocolate glazed doughnut.
"Ha ha! I have succeeded!"
The guard tackled Marth and then punched him, so he fell to the ground, unconscious. Ganondorf walked in, raising an eyebrow at Marth.
He sat in the black chair, waiting for something to happen.
"Know your smashers, know your smashers, know your smashers, know your smashers."
Ganondorf yawned out of boredom.
"Ganondorf…he puts on Maybelline lip gloss on every day."
"I think you have me mistaken for Zelda or Roy."
"You think, or you know?" queried the announcer.
"I know."
"If you say so. Ganondorf…he has an irrational fright of ham."
"What? Why would I? You're crazy."
"No you are."
"I'll come use my warlock magic on you!"
"No you won't. I have a bucket of smoked ham."
"Argh! I do not fear meat!"
"Ganondorf…his name is actually Ganondwarf, but changed it because he was too embarrassed."
"No, my name was always Ganondorf. Where do you get these lies?" the confused warlock asked.
"Can't tell you. The sources are classified."
"I'll find them someday."
"You can't. It's guarded by a giant cube of ham."
"For the last time, I do not fear ham!"
"You're in denial."
"No I'm not!" protested Ganondorf.
"Ganondorf…he is the missing eighth dwarf from Snow White."
"What? I thought there were seven!"
"They made it with seven because, you, the eighth, ran away. In fact, Snow White called for you this morning so they could redo the movie with you in it."
Ganondorf screeched with rage. "I'm too tall to be one!"
"Whatever you say, missing, ham-fearing dwarf," the announcer said.
"Will you cut it out with the ham already!"
"No. Ganondorf…he was born on Saturn."
"How is that possible?"
"You tell me."
"I refuse to listen to these outrageous lies! I'm out of this place!"
"Now you know…Ganondwarf, the missing eighth dwarf who fears ham."
"No they don't I will find you! I don't fear meat! Stop these lies!" Ganondorf shouted as the cameraman zoomed away from the chair and Ganondorf. He stomped out of the building.
Next is Roy, then maybe Peach. This will be updated soon.