Lorelai didn't even know where to begin. Normally she jumped into everything head first and thought later. But now, she didn't even know where to jump. How do you explain to your innocent daughter that sometimes things that seem like sure things fall through. How could she make her daughter understand. "Nothing. That's exactly what happened. Nothing was changing, nothing was planned. Nothing happened."
Lorelai was impatient. Rory knew this for a long time. What Lorelai wanted, she usually found someway to get. That was one of the things Rory admired most about her mom. Lorelai seemed ready to handle anything. Rory felt like she couldn't handle anything. Mitchum was a clear example. When things got hard, she quit. But not her mom. Her mom was driven and determined when it came to getting what she wanted. And if her mom wanted anything at all in her whole life, it was Luke. "It would've happened mom. Luke loves you. He always has. He just needed sometime to get his life back together. He doesn't adjust to change like you do. And this is pretty big change. A daughter and a wife. This isn't over mom, you can't give up on him."
Lorelai didn't expect Rory to understand. No one but herself and Luke had the capability. Rory had an optomistic view of life and love. And she should, but it made it impossible to understand. Lorelai had waited long enough. And it wasn't going to happen. He and Luke were just slowly being ripped apart, and Lorelai couldn't stand it. It was like a bandaid. The longer it's dragged out, the worse it is. You just had to rip. One fast, steady pull. And that's what she did. "I'm just tired Rory. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of looking at my wedding dress every morning and every night. I'm tired of hoping Luke will let me in. I'm tired of pretending I don't care. I'm tired of not knowing April. I'm tired."
"Mom why didn't you talk to me about any of this? I could've talked to you. You're upset, you're being irrational. You love Luke. I've never seen you love anyone before. I thought you loved dad, I even thought you loved Max. But you proved me wrong the day you told me you thought you were dating Luke. I knew then, you hadn't ever loved any man before. You and Luke were meant to be together. I know it. This town knows it. You can't just give up! You can't!"
"Rory, hunny, I did talk to someone. I talked to a psycologist. She helped me understand that some things just don't work. No matter how much they were meant to be. I have to do what I need to do. I've been waiting for my whole picture since you were born. I'm tired of waiting. And I'm not strong enough to stick around and wait for Luke. It's too hard. I don't have the strength. I'm all out of strength."
"BULLSHIT! You've never run out of strength. You are the strongest person I know. You never give up on anything. You told me not to listen to Mitchum and I'm telling you not to listen to this doctor. She doesn't know you. She doesn't know Luke. She doesn't know how much you love each other, how perfect you two are. He needs you mom. And you know what else, you need him. I know that's not easy for you to hear. You hate to need anyone. Is that why you broke it off? You are too scared to admit that you might actually need something you can't provide for yourself. Stop being miss independent! You love and need Luke, don't give up on this!" Rory knew after her rant she was partially off base. Her mom wasn't scared of needing Luke. She was scared of not getting what she needed, scared of getting her heart broken more than it already was. Staying with Luke was like pulling off the tissue on her heart, one piece at a time. But Rory wasn't prepared to admit to herself that her hero might not be strong enough to deal with something. She wasn't prepared to deal with her mom showing weakness. That was where the anger was coming from. Her own fear. However, she was right about not listening to the doctor. Lorelai couldn't give up. She just couldn't.
Lorelai felt anger push through her skin. "Rory, I SLEPT WITH CHRIS. What don't you understand about that! Luke's not going to take me back. That was the ultimate betrayal. Somethings just don't work. Period. And this is one of them. No, I'm not pleased with that, but it's the truth. Whose side are you on anyway!"
Rory knew she had gone a bit too far. Her mom was hurting. And it was her job to help. But this was Rory's way of helping. The only way that would help. Because only Luke would take away the pain. "I'm always on your side. I'm always behind you. But I know that Luke still loves you." Rory went over to the sink and picked up the to go cup. "If nothing else proves it this does. He told me to give this to you."
Lorelai felt her heart break all over again. She knew Rory was just trying to help, to make her feel better. But Lorelai didn't want to feel better. She wanted to feel hurt. She deserved to feel hurt. Because she had betrayed Luke. She didn't deserve Lukes care, or coffee. or love. Lorelai began to tell Rory the whole story of her ultimatum and events leading up to it. There was no other way to make her understand.
Rory listened to her mother's confession. It wasn't actually all that often that Rory got glimpses into her mother's heart. And today she wasn't sure she wanted to. It hurt Rory too. But her mom needed to tell her, so Rory listened. And then she tucked Lorelai into bed, and left the house. She had a few trips she had to make. She decided that she might take up Logan on his offer of the car.
Rory got out of the car after a semi-long ride. She knew she had to do this. If for no one else, herself. Rory had to get it out of her system, and she couldn't to her mom. Because Rory had finally come to terms with weakness in her mother. She couldn't deal with this. So Rory would find someone else to. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door. This was going to be a long night, considering this was only the first of two stops she had to make tonight. And neither one was going to accept her with open arms.
A/N: So where is she headed? I'm pretty sure that one stop is pretty guessable. But I'm pretty sure I'll shock you all with the second. Well maybe not all of you. But I would be very impressed if anyone did figure it out. Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful reviews once again. I'm am truly enjoying writing this story. Sorry about the lack of happy so far. Please hang in there. It is not an easy fix, unless I were to make the whole Chris thing a dream. But I want more of a challenge. So hang in there. And review, because I check for knew reviews like every 30 mins after posting a chapter and its a little disapointing to not find any new ones. I don't even care if it's a flame. At least I know someone is reading. Although, I prefer good reviews. Who wouldn't? And now I'm ranting. So I'm going to stop. But thank you again to everyone who does take the minute out of their day to review.