Author-chan's notes: Here's the omake I promised you guys. The first omake is set before the kidnapping while all the others are set afterwards. There will be time jumps, but they should be obvious when they happen.
Key:
"talking"
'thoughts that can only be heard by thinker, a.k.a. private thoughts'
/thoughts that can be heard by thinker and spirits, a.k.a. telepathy/
writing in a letter
qpqpqpqp indicates scene/time change
Like Father Like Son
(Chapter Sixteen: Omake- Tokyo Arc)
Before Kidnapping: Rolling (a.k.a. A Day in the Life of Kenichi)
(Please read above Author notes if you haven't already before continuing)
Himura Kenshin (now Himura Kenichi) was bored. Not that he would (or could) tell anyone about it. Although being reincarnated into a tiny four-month old baby had its advantages (everyone cooed madly over him even his wife Kaoru, he was cuddled extensively Kaoru tried but there were problems about being a ghost, and he did find it amusing watching Sano and Yahiko, who took pride in their "manliness", turn into piles of cooing motherly mush whenever he or Sasuke so much as blinked needless to say Kaoru found it funny too), there were disadvantages as well.
Disadvantages included being unable to talk, walk, control his crying, control his body, eat solid foods (not that he wanted to with Kenji's and Chizuru's cooking), and control his bowel movements. Then there was the breast feeding, the teasing form Shinigami and Kaoru, his smallness, his weakness, spitting up, being placed in the laundry basket, getting teased by Sano and Yahiko, being confused whether Kenji was his son or his father, and hiccupping whenever he finished crying. And then there was the boredom.
Yep, in other words it sucked being a baby.
Not that Kenshin would say that.
More like, "Sessha severely dislikes being a baby, de gozaru."
Yeah, something like that.
Currently, Kenshin was lying in the laundry basket amidst clean white sheets, courtesy of Kenji. And he was bored. Since he could barely do anything, Kenshin got bored very, very quickly. In the past, he used his spare time to clean the dojo, finish the laundry, cook, secretly practice swordsmanship, and have some (ahem) alone time with Kaoru. But now due to lack of movement (and lack of Kaoru who was visiting the Spirit Realm at the moment), Kenshin could do none of those things.
So he was stuck in the laundry basket bored out of his mind. Slowly, due to the infant form he now possessed, Kenshin's boredom slowly melted into sleepiness. After all, he was lying in a pool of soft comfortable fabrics that faintly smelled of soap, and the warm sun was shining right on him, making him feel warm and slightly drowsy.
Slowly, his wide lavender eyes began to flutter shut, when suddenly…
"BAKA TORI-ATAMA!"
"SHUT UP, YAHIKO-CHAN!"
WHACK! "NO ONE CALLS ME 'CHAN'!"
Yahiko. Sanosuke. Apparently the two of them, were heading back into the main house to where Kenshin was currently resting. Kenshin smiled to himself, despite the fact that his nap was now ripped away from him. After all these years, the two of them hadn't changed a bit, which was saying something, since Yahiko was now twenty-eight years old, but still had people calling him "chan" to irritate him. Kenshin watched as the pair of them entered his room and walked up to his basket.
"Are you sure about this, Sano?" Yahiko asked, lowering his voice now that they were in the presence of the baby, "Chizuru might kill us."
"Kenji said it was okay," Sano shrugged, reaching down to pick up the miniature redhead.
"Chizuru might still kill us anyway," Yahiko pointed out.
"We'll just say it's all Kenji's fault," Sano replied easily, as he headed for the exit, along with the baby, "Then she'll kill Kenji first and give us time to run for it."
"Oh, okay," Yahiko blinked, following the taller man outside.
Needless to say, Kenshin was curious. Where were they taking him? A gambling hall? There were times when Sanosuke "kidnapped" little Kenichi and/or Sasuke because he said that the red-haired baby and the sapphire-eyed toddler gave him extra good luck with the dice.
Instead the trio headed towards the main dojo. Entering the large room, Kenshin was surprised to see that there was Kenji and four others that were obviously his students. Judging by their ki and level of skill, Kenshin was able to deduce that these people were part of the higher level classes, but not yet masters like Kenji or Yahiko. Three men and one young woman made up the class. Two of the men were older than Kenji, almost the same age as Yahiko. One of the males was younger than Kenji by a few years, while the woman was about the same age as Kenji. Kenji was barking out instructions to the group while the students tiredly tried to follow, indicating that they had been training for quite some time. Kenshin felt like grinning. The way Kenji was teaching reminded Kenshin of Kaoru training Yahiko in some ways.
"Alright, you can rest a bit," Kenji called out to his class as Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke came into view. As Kenji's back turned on the group, all four of the students gave a sigh of relief. Apparently Kenji was as much a taskmaster as Kaoru was.
"Here you go, Kenji," Sano grunted, passing the red-haired bundle in his arms to the other redhead.
"Thanks for getting him, Sanosuke," Kenji smiled, bouncing Kenichi a bit.
"Alright, you lot!" Yahiko yelled out to the small group of students, who were busy wiping their faces free of sweat, "Back in line! We've got a new lesson planned for you, so hurry up! And no whining, or else five hundred sword swings!"
There were a few muted mumbles, but the quartet quickly did what they were told, knowing the consequences of doing otherwise. Kenji stood in front of them with Kenshin in his grasp.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Kenichi, my son," Kenji announced, gesturing to the baby with his chin, "I know all of you have met his brother Sasuke who is with my wife, shopping. Anyway, today's lesson is about teaching. Even though it is a far ways off, when you all become masters of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, you will be allowed to teach as assistant instructors. For the lesson today, we'll have Kenichi-chan here to be your 'student'. Your task is to teach Kenichi-chan how to roll over. If you do that before its time for the next class, you'll be allowed to go home with no worries. If you fail, then you all do one thousand sword swings, followed by running laps around the dojo. Understood?"
"H-How are we supposed to teach Kenichi-chan, Himura-sensei?" one of the younger students asked hesitantly. Kenji grinned manically at them.
"That's what you're supposed to figure out," he replied as he held the baby out to his students, "You can use any props you want. You're not allowed to hurt Kenichi. Also, Kenichi has to be able to roll over on his own. Yahiko, Sanosuke, and I will be watching your progress. Good luck."
And with that, Kenji, Yahiko, and Sano drew back to sit against the wall and watch the students work with the baby.
"Hey, Kenji, why are you having the students teach Kenichi-chan how to roll over?" Sano asked.
"Well, it's good practice for them when they start teaching classes," Kenji replied, "And it's good practice for them if they have to deal with children in the future. That plus Kenichi is already four months old. According to Megumi, he should already be rolling over by now, but he hasn't yet. He needs to be mobile to learn swordsmanship."
"Kenji! The kid isn't even crawling, heck he's not even rolling over, and you're already planning on teaching him Kamiya Kasshin? You're just like your mother!" Yahiko shrieked, "I should have known you would do this. You did the exact same thing with Sasuke when he learned how to roll over. And I've seen you sneak a shinai into Sasuke's hands and teach him a few passes when Chizuru isn't looking."
"You sound like a mother hen, Yahiko," Sano snorted, "The sooner those kids learn how to fight, the better they will be at protecting themselves."
"Who are you calling a mother hen, you freaking rooster?" Yahiko yelled whacking Sano with his bokken. Kenji sighed as the two older men began to fight. After watching the miniature brawl for a few moments, Kenji turned his attention back to the students.
Kenshin blinked at the unfamiliar faces staring at him. Needless to say, he was a bit shocked at what Kenji wanted these students to teach him how to roll over. He knew how to roll over! …It's just that it was kind of hard to do now…
In the back of his mind, Kenshin wondered if he should be afraid that his fate was now in the hands of a couple of students. But then again, Kenji was there to make sure nothing would happen, so Kenshin pushed aside his fears. He was going to learn (or relearn) how to roll over! And after rolling over was crawling, and after crawling was walking, and after walking was Kenshin's chance to have control his body, and Kenshin having control over his body meant no more boredom!
In short: Rolling equaled No Boredom.
Oh happy day!
But in the midst of his internal joy, Kenshin forgot one small detail…
In the life of Himura Kenshin, things are bound to go wrong…
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"JUST ROLL OVER ALREADY!"
Those were the first words Himura Chizuru heard when she returned home from her successful shopping trip with Sasuke in tow. Chizuru felt her eye twitch ever so slightly. She knew what was going on, and who was to blame…
"KENJI!" Chizuru yelled, stomping over to the dojo and all but ripping the shoji open.
"Oro?" her red-haired husband blinked, trying to play the innocent. Chizuru wasn't buying it. The evidence was right before her eyes. Four students, one baby, and a whole lot of frustration: that meant only one thing. Kenji was trying to use their children to help teach his classes again.
"Kenji," Chizuru hissed, her eye twitching, "What did I say about using our children as props for your lessons?"
"Ah, um…" Kenji sputtered as he tried not to flinch away from his wife's accusing glare, "Not…to?"
"And what did I tell you about giving our children bokken?" Chizuru continued, stalking closer to her sweating husband.
"Um, to wait until they're five?" Kenji replied.
"Try ten, anata," Chizuru growled. Behind her, all of the students that had been trying to teach Kenichi how to roll over stopped to stare that the enraged woman giving their instructor a tongue lashing.
"I started learning the sword when I was three," Kenji pointed out.
"Wrong words to say, man," Sano muttered under his breath as Chizuru stole the sakabatou from Kenji and began bashing Kenji's head in with the saya.
"Oro! Oro! Oroooooo…" Kenji squeaked each time the saya hit.
"Baka Kenji!" Chizuru yelled, whacking her husband.
"That's gotta hurt," Yahiko winced as he, Sano, and Sasuke went over to where the students were still working with Kenichi.
"Ken-nii!" Sasuke exclaimed, plopping down to sit next to his brother, "Fun?"
Kenichi babbled something unintelligible.
"Damn, we still haven't figured out how to make this kid roll over, and class is almost over!" one of the students muttered, "It looks like we're going to have yet another exhausting work out."
The students sighed collectively.
Kenshin sighed as well. No rolling meant more boredom.
Damn.
"Ken-nii roll?" Sasuke blinked, then smiled, "Ken-nii roll easy!"
"Wait, he said 'Ken-nii roll easy'!" another student exclaimed, "Sasuke-chan, do you know how to make Kenichi-chan roll over?"
"Uh-huh!" Sasuke nodded.
"Oh, come on!" the third student snorted, "You don't really believe a toddler can do what all four of us couldn't!"
"Sasuke can!" the blue-eyed toddler huffed, "Watch!"
"This ought to be interesting," the first student nodded as he sat down to watch what Sasuke would do. The rest of the students, Yahiko, and Sano followed in suit, sitting down to watch what Sasuke could do.
"Ken-nii, roll, please!" Sasuke asked in his childish voice.
"Please, we've already tried asking," the fourth student groaned, rolling his eyes.
"But not nicely," Sano muttered under his breath.
"Ken-nii!" Sasuke asked again, "Please roll!"
Sasuke puffed out his cheeks in frustration that his brother continued just to lay there. Then suddenly Sasuke brightened as he got an idea and did something entirely unexpected.
He tickled Kenshin's side.
A childish shriek of laughter echoed throughout the dojo, although muffled under Chizuru's yells and Kenji's oroing. The red-haired baby's body shifted slightly to keep away from Sasuke's attacking fingers.
"Roll, Ken-nii, roll!" Sasuke crowed as he kept tickling his brother. Finally, to keep away from the questing fingers, Himura Kenichi slowly, but surely…
…Rolled over.
"Kami-sama!" the students breathed.
"Sasuke, you did it!" Yahiko cheered, picking up the blue-eyed toddler.
"Course!" Sasuke said smugly.
"We're saved!" the students wept.
"Oro?" Kenji's voice floated over as he dodged another blow from Chizuru, "Did you get Kenichi-chan to roll over?"
"Not them, Sasuke-chan!" Sano laughed, as he pointed at the red-haired baby laying face down on the floor, "Tickling and asking politely, who would have thought?"
"I see," Kenji nodded, dodging another strike by Chizuru by a hair, "I guess that means the students have to do one thousand sword swings, followed by running laps around the dojo."
"NANI?" the students cried out, after hearing their sensei's words.
"Well, it's only fair," Yahiko shrugged, "It was your task to make Kenichi-chan roll over, not Sasuke's."
A collective groan arose from the students.
"Get moving people!" Yahiko yelled, sounding just like a drill instructor in the military, "Those sword swings won't get themselves done, you know!"
Slowly one by one, the students filed out the door to get to work.
"Sasuke did good?" Sasuke asked, blinking at Yahiko.
"Very good," Yahiko answered, smirking at the toddler.
"HIMURA KENJI!" Chizuru yelled, "GET BACK HERE!"
"Oro!" Kenji yelped as he ran out the dojo, Chizuru hot on his heels.
'Anou?' Kenshin thought, still face down on the ground, 'A little help here? Sessha has rolled over and can't get up, de gozaru!'
Owari: Rolling (a.k.a. A Day in the Life of Kenichi)
Notes: It appears Chizuru is channeling Kaoru's spirit…O.O Scary…Inspiration for this fic came from when I was visiting my brother and my little niece, who we also taught how to roll over. Tickling and squeaky toys do wonders…
Read on for life with Chou and Sai!
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Partners (a.k.a. Life in the Police Station with Chou and Sai)
Chou was a sword collector. He loved swords, had a fetish with swords. His one true love was swords.
But at the moment, he wanted a gun.
"Damn, brat!" Chou yelled, "Don't touch that!"
Yes, Chou wanted a gun so he could shoot someone. Preferably his new assistant.
Fujiwara Sai.
Chou's new assistant had, with in the scant amount of time they had known each other (two months) managed to do everything to rub Chou the wrong way.
The reasons were as followed:
1. Sai touched Chou's swords (in fact he was doing that now, which was why Chou was yelling), AND he always wanted to steal/sell said swords.
2. Sai spilled ink all over Chou's finished paperwork, so it had to be done over! (Chou had nearly suffered a heart-attack over that one.)
3. Sai made stupid broom jokes. (And the jokes weren't even funny.)
4. Sai ripped Chou's only spare jacket, forcing Chou to wear (shudder) the police uniform. (Dark blue was terrible for Chou's complexion.)
5. Sai got drunk easily, and would sing love sonnets to Chou thinking he was woman named Michiyo. (Chou twitched at the fact that Sai thought that the former Juppongatana member looked like a cheap prostitute.)
6. Sai found out where Chou lived and would raid Chou's place for food. (Chou was now out of rice, thanks to Sai.)
7. Sai smoked. (Just like Saito.)
8. Sai liked soba. (Just like Saito.)
9. Sai smirked. (Not like Saito, but close. No one could smirk exactly like Saito. The fact Sai reminded Chou of the former Shinsengumi captain in any way, no matter how small, freaked Chou out.)
10. And worse of all: He pulled a prank on Chou that caused the broom-haired officer have green hair for a week! (That made Sai make stupider stupid broom jokes.)
Yes, Chou really hated his new assistant. But the little brat was useful. Sai's information gathering skills were unparallel. And his ability to disguise himself was quite useful too. Not to mention the kid knew several foreign languages, making it easier to ask gaijin questions/torture them for information.
Yeah, the kid was useful, but Chou still hated Sai's guts.
"Did ya find out anything on Ishimaru?" Chou asked after he had wrenched his precious swords away from Sai's greedy hands.
"Which one?" Sai asked, "I know a lot of things about various Ishimaru people. You need to be more specific, you worn out old broom man."
"You know what Ishimaru I'm talking about!" Chou fumed, "The one I had ya spying on for the past four days!"
"You mean the wannabe yakuza boss?" Sai asked, as he pulled out a cigarette and started smoking.
"Yes him!" Chou snapped, "And put that thing out! I hate cigarettes."
"Hn," Sai smirked as he blew smoke at his superior.
"Damn brat," Chou muttered.
"I'll give you the details on Ishimaru, if you treat me to lunch," Sai replied casually, taking another drag on his cigarette.
"Hey! I'm the superior here! I give ya orders, ya follow 'em, remember?" Chou yelled as he took the cigarette away from Sai and put it out.
"But I want soba!" Sai whined, "And sake!"
"Not around me," Chou muttered, "Now talk about the Ishimaru case, or I'll cut ya up into ten even pieces!"
"Fine, fine, so pushy," the former thief muttered, "With the way you talk I would think you were a former assassin or something rather than a police officer."
"Or something," Chou smirked, thinking back on his Juppongatana days, "Sheesh, kid, did ya really think that yer the only former criminal that the police hired?"
"…No," Sai murmured quietly, looking downwards, "Sorry, boss. So, boss, when do you want the details on Ishimaru?"
"After lunch," Chou answered, tossing a small coin bag to Sai, "Go get yerself a bowl of soba and be back in an hour, or I come hunting ya down, got it?"
"Hai!" Sai grinned cheekily, running out the door while throwing a mock salute, "See you in an hour, Boss Broom!"
"Damn brat," Chou muttered as he began to polish his sword.
Yeah, he hated that kid.
But at least that kid knew who was boss.
Owari: Partners (a.k.a. Life in the Police Station with Chou and Sai)
Notes: So now Sai has a family name: Fujiwara! Again, it wasn't until after I picked the name from a name generator that I realized you could cut off the "wara" and add "ta" and get "Fujita". It's like Fate is conspiring against me! Or is it with me? But even though Sai has a few things in common with Saito, as you can see, Sai is a very different person than Saito. If pressed I would say his personality is similar to Yami Bakura from Yugi-oh only more childish, knowledgeable, and cheeky while his appearance is like a grown up evil Harry Potter with hazel eyes.
Glossary:
Gaijin- "foreigner"
Yakuza- the Japanese mob
Soba- a noodle dish, one that Saito (both in RK and PMK) is famous for loving
Scroll down for more omake, this time Sano and Megumi traveling!
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Traveling (a.k.a. Sano and Megumi's "Hokkaido" Adventure)
Megumi and Sanosuke had left the dojo quite some time ago to head towards Hokkaido. Their journey was to be a long one, and they had already been on the road for the past three weeks. They would have had been in Hokkaido earlier if it wasn't for a certain…
"Stupid tori-atama!" Megumi's voice echoed throughout the forest, "You lost the map!"
"Oi, it's not my fault!" Sanosuke protested, trying to placate his raging wife.
Megumi was fuming. She should have known better than to give the map to Sano. Now the couple was lost somewhere. Megumi wasn't even sure the general area that they were, but if the temperature was anything to go by, they weren't anywhere near Hokkaido.
"Why do you have such a lousy sense of direction, anyway?" Megumi asked, still angry.
Sano shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a kid or something…"
"That explains a lot," Megumi muttered.
"Oi, kitsune!" Sano growled, his eyebrow twitching, "Do you always have to insult me?"
"Yes," Megumi replied tartly, "If I didn't then your head would swell up to the point that your stupid rooster hair wouldn't be able to cover it."
"So what are we going to do?" Sano sighed, running a hand through his spiky hair.
"Well, if we run out of food, we'll kill you and eat you first," Megumi answered casually, "I bet you would taste just like chicken."
"Kitsune!" Sano yelped as he backed away from his wife. Suddenly, a vision of a fox raiding a chicken coop popped into his mind. It didn't help at all that the rooster that his imaginary fox captured was wearing a red bandanna.
Megumi blinked at her husband's terrified face before doubling over and laughing.
"OHOHOHOHOHO!" Megumi chuckled her famous foxy laugh, "You should have seen your face! You really believed that I would eat you!"
"That's not funny, Megumi!" Sano shouted.
Megumi just kept laughing.
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The pair had decided to rest for the night, camping out in a forest clearing for the night since they couldn't find an inn. Luckily, Sano had brought with him enough gear for both of them to camp out.
"So, how much farther is it to Hokkaido?" Sano asked as he stared up at the stars.
"I don't know," Megumi answered, "You lost the map, so I have no idea where we are. But judging by the climate, we're no where close."
"We'll I guess we just better find a town and get a map," Sano groaned.
"With your luck, we'll probably continue to wander around for another week before we get to Hokkaido," Megumi sighed, "Now shut up and go to sleep. We have a long ways to go."
"Don't worry, kitsune," Sano said, "I've never wandered for more than two weeks. We should be in Hokkaido within a week's time."
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Three weeks later…
"Sanosuke!" Megumi yelled, "This isn't Hokkaido! This is Kyoto! You've been leading us in the wrong direction, baka tori-atama!"
"Well at least we know where we are," Sano said sheepishly.
"Let's go buy a map," Megumi sighed, turning around. She only walked a few steps, until someone bumped into her.
"Ah, excuse me, ma'am," a polite voice apologized. Megumi looked up to see one of the biggest men she had ever seen.
"Oh, no, it's my fault," Megumi apologized, putting on her professional façade.
"Kami-sama!" Sanosuke's voice uttered from behind her, "Anji?"
"Sagara Sanosuke," the tall man Megumi had bumped into blinked, "What a surprise to see you here."
"I thought you were in Hokkaido!" Sano exclaimed, coming over to slap the former Juppongatana on the back, "How are you?"
"Well enough."
"HOLD IT!" Megumi cried out, "You mean this is the Anji you were looking for, Sano?"
"You bet, kitsune," Sano grinned at her, "I guess we don't need to go to Hokkaido after all…Hey Anji, why are you in Kyoto anyway?"
"I moved here a year ago," Anji replied, "I remember sending you a letter to tell you where I had gone so we could continue corresponding."
"Oh yeah," Sano nodded, "That's right. I completely forgot that you moved over here."
"Nani?" Megumi gasped, "You baka tori-atama! If you had told me that earlier, we could have gotten train tickets instead of wandering around Japan!"
"Heh, heh, oops?" Sano grinned sheepishly.
Megumi fumed.
Owari: Traveling (a.k.a. Sano and Megumi's "Hokkaido" Adventure)
Notes: This was kind of a set up story: Sano and Megumi need to be in Kyoto for the next part of my plot (Spoiler!). Anji makes his first (brief) appearance. Oh, and yes, Sano and Anji kept in touch through letters, but more often than not, their letters were kind of infrequent. That's how Sano knew that Anji had settled in Hokkaido for a little bit until going to Kyoto.
It's understandable why Megumi is mad at Sano for landing them in Kyoto. Kyoto is south of Tokyo. Hokkaido is north of Tokyo. The baka tori-atama went in the wrong direction.
Glossary:
Tori-atama- "Bird-head" or "Rooster-head"; Sano's nickname
Kitsune- "Fox"; Megumi's nickname
Hokkaido- Northern most island of Japan; famous for being very cold
Anji- a member of the Juppongatana (Anji the Angry God, as translated in the manga); the one who taught Sano Futae no Kiwami
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Surprise (a.k.a. Kenichi's First Birthday)
Kaoru was happy, well as happy as she could be, given her present state. Currently she was sitting down next to her husband's sleeping form.
Her one-year-old husband.
She was so happy! It was her husband's first birthday today. Exactly one year from today, Kenshin had been reborn. He had been such a small, helpless thing back then…not that he wasn't now. But now Kenshin was able to crawl (Kaoru was sure he was going to start walking soon) and could babble a few words (she had been very happy when Kenshin's first word had been her name…of course he had said it when no one else was around causing the others to believe his first word was "oro"). Kenshin could even now control his body…most of the time.
Kaoru was very proud of her husband.
"Kaoru?" a sleepy baby voice murmured. Kaoru smiled down at her husband.
"Ohayo, Shinta," Kaoru greeted him as the little redhead pulled himself up to a sitting position.
/Ohayo, Kaoru/ Kenshin replied mentally, knowing better than to use his actual voice for conversations lasting longer than a few words, /How are you today, de gozaru ka?
"Wonderful," Kaoru giggled, "Do you know what today is?"
/Anou…/ Kenshin blinked, /I-Iie. /
"It's your birthday, Shinta no baka!" Kaoru laughed.
/Sessha's birthday is in the summer/ Kenshin protested, /There is another two more seasons until sessha's birthday, de gozaru yo!
"I was talking about your new birthday, Kenichi-chan," Kaoru teased, tickling Kenshin's side slightly. Kenshin giggled childishly, feeling the cool breeze of his wife's fingers.
"Kaoru!" Kenshin's childishly young voice, so different, yet not different, from the cultured tones of his adult mind-voice, "No fair!"
/It's not fair this body is more ticklish than sessha's old one/ Kenshin pouted.
"Babies tend to be more ticklish than adults," Kaoru pointed out, "It's one of the reason they're adorable."
"Oro," Kenshin squeaked out loud, a faint blush bridging his nose, not only from her praise but from embarrassment that he had completely used up most the vocabulary that he could say. Kenshin felt a little depressed about that. His vocabulary was still so limited! He didn't have even ten words to his name!
"Kenichi-chan!" Chizuru's cheerful voice floated from outside his room. The fusuma opened and Chizuru strode in, smiling down at the redhead before picking him up.
"How's the little birthday boy?" Chizuru asked, smiling at her son. Kenichi simply looked back at her, his vocabulary too small to answer her vocally.
Chizuru giggled and carried the little redhead away for breakfast and the family celebration, Kaoru following silently.
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Late at night, Kenshin was sitting in his room, still awake. For some reason, he couldn't get himself to go to sleep, no matter what he did. The excitement of the day still hadn't worn off. Celebrating with his family…it was such a precious time for him, one that he would hold in his heart forever.
"Bored, anata?" Kaoru asked.
/How could I be bored with such a lovely wife like you here, Kaoru-chan? Kenshin grinned at his wife.
"Shinta!" Kaoru scolded, her cheeks reddening with the praise, "You're embarrassing me!"
"And me too! All this sappy talk makes me blush!" a third voice declared.
The couple looked over to the one who had spoken.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kaoru screamed.
"Oro!" came Kenshin's squeak as his eyes became huge and he toppled backwards.
"Damn, that wasn't polite," the new ghost (it had to be a ghost to have been able to hear Kenshin and Kaoru in the first place) huffed.
Kaoru and Kenshin continued to stare at the new comer, their eyes wide and their faces pale. But then again it was understandable. It wasn't often that you come face to face with a decapitated spirit who was holding his disembodied head under his arm.
"W-who are you?" Kaoru sputtered out, calming down after realizing it was just another ghost, even though he was a bit…bloodier…than her.
/Sessha knows who you are/ Kenshin said darkly, his eyes narrowing, /I-I killed you. /
"That you most certainly did, Battousai-san!" the headless ghost chirped cheerfully, "I'm Nakamura Kaito, of the tenth Shinsengumi patrol. Nice to see you again!"
"Oro," Kenshin squeaked out loud at cheerfulness of the dead Shinsengumi member.
"What are you doing here?" Kaoru asked, "You better not be here to torment my husband! Today is his birthday, for goodness sakes, so lay off!"
"You got it all wrong, ma'am," Kaito reassured her, "We are all here to congratulate Battousai-san."
/"We?"/ Kenshin blinked.
"Yes, we."
Suddenly the air started to shimmer and Kenshin's room was suddenly filled with ghosts.
Blood covered ghosts.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kaoru screamed again.
"Oro!" Kenshin yelped before he passed out.
qpqpqpqp
A few seconds later, Kenshin's eyes began to flutter open when he heard yelling.
"Look what you did, you morons! You made him faint!"
"You know, he looks kinda cute when he's asleep."
"Kami-sama, you're right! Battousai is adorable!"
"He's a baby, idiot. All babies are cute, even if they are reincarnations of bloodthirsty killers."
"Don't call him that!" Kaoru's voice yelled, followed by the smacking sound of a (ghostly) bokken finding its mark, "He's not a killer anymore!"
"Ow! Sheesh, lady, sorry!"
"Kaoru?" Kenshin blinked, fully waking up.
"Oh, you're awake, Himura-san," a familiar voice said.
/Kiyosato-dono/ Kenshin exclaimed, looking up at the wounded form of Tomoe's fiancé, /What are you doing here, de gozaru ka?
"I'm here to wish you happy birthday, just like everyone else," Kiyosato replied with a slight chuckle.
"Oro?" Kenshin blinked. His violet eyes grew wide as he took in the group of ghosts that filled his room. He recognized each and every one of them; after all, they had haunted his nightmares for years.
They were his victims, the victims of Hitokiri Battousai.
Of course this lot wasn't all of those that he had killed. There was no possible way that all of Kenshin's victims could have fit in his room. There was only a small group of ten or so, a tiny fraction of the men he had killed…hell, even one hundred men was only a small fraction. Mentally, Kenshin winced when he noticed that all of the ghosts were still sporting the wounds that had killed them. The wounds he had inflicted upon them.
"Oro…" Kenshin squeaked as he felt his eyes becoming swirls.
"Gah! Don't faint on us now, Battousai-san!" Kaito, the ghost that had arrived first, cried out, "We're here to celebrate, and we can't do that if you're knocked out!"
/Celebrate/ Kenshin blinked, confused.
"Aa," a ghost dressed in Mimiwarigumi colors nodded (to Kenshin's chagrin, he recognized the wide slash that had disemboweled this ghost being caused from his own battoujutsu), "It's your first birthday, so we came over to celebrate."
"Um, let me say this for Shinta, but why?" Kaoru asked, just as confused as her husband.
"Ma'am," the disemboweled ghost began in a polite tone, "Just because Battousai-kun killed us during the Bakumatsu, we don't hate him or anything. It's actually the opposite, if you know what I mean."
"Eh?" Kaoru blinked.
"Let me explain, Kaoru-san," Kiyosato began, "All of us here are representatives of the PBKB club. The other members wanted to come as well, but we didn't want to overwhelm you. There are a lot of members."
"PBKB?" Kaoru blinked, "Is that English?"
Kiyosato beamed and nodded, "It's short for 'Poor Bastards Killed by Battousai'."
"ORO!" Kenshin squeaked/choked, his eyes becoming wider as he recognized the foreign words that made up the title of the club. Kaoru just continued to blink in confusion, not understanding the foreign words. Sometimes it was helpful that he could still remember some of language he had picked up from the Ishin Shishi spies during his time in the Bakumatsu.
Now wasn't one of those times.
"Sorry, Himura-san," Kiyosato laughed, "I wanted it to be called the Tragic Souls Slaughtered by Battousai, but I was out-voted. Anyway, as I was saying, none of us in the club despise you like you believe, Himura-san. All of us acknowledge that you already atoned for killing us during the Bakumatsu with your wanderings and vow not to kill. In fact, many of the strangers that you met during your wanderings and helped were loved ones of members of the PBKB club. So obviously, that helped your 'victims' forgive you. And, believe it or not, Himura-san, being killed by Battousai is highly prestigious in the After Life."
"Not to mention a lot of dead women seem to find men that die of mortal wounds, really hot," Kaito jumped in, "Lot of ladies like decapitated samurai."
"Hentai," another ghost muttered.
"Also, being killed by Battousai has its perks, you know?" a third ghost put in, "You used a cursed blade back in the Bakumatsu, so anyone killed by you has special abilities."
/Cursed blade? Kenshin questioned, /My katana was cursed?
"Aa," Kiyosato nodded, "But don't worry, you left it to rust at Toba Fushimi. No harm can come from it now."
"Wait, let me get this straight," Kaoru began, "So all of you were killed by Shinta, but none of you harbor any hard feelings. And you want to celebrate his birthday."
"Hey, any excuse to party, lady," a Shinsengumi member who had been skewered through the throat laughed, "Things can get boring when you're dead. Battousai has been our biggest source of entertainment since we bit the dust. That plus all of us want Battousai-san to realize that he's been forgiven, at least by us ghosts."
"Oh," Kaoru blinked, "I see. Well then, what are we waiting for? This is supposed to be a celebration!"
"I like how you think, onna-san!" Kaito grinned.
"Come on, Battousai-kun," the disemboweled Mimiwarigumi member smiled, as he reached down to pick Kenshin up, "Let's go have some fun!"
/Oro/ Kenshin blinked as the ghostly hands of the Mimiwari hosted him up, /Y-you can touch sessha!
"One of the perks of being killed by you, Battousai-kun," the Mimiwari replied gently, "We can interact with the living much more easily than most ghosts. By the way, I'm Sakurazawa Takumi."
"This is going to be so much fun!" Kaito hummed, absentmindedly petting his disconnected head, "First stop: sake bar!"
"Oro!"
qpqpqpqp
A few hours later…
Kenshin, still being carried by Takumi, sighed in relief as the dojo gates came into view. It had been one…wild…night. Kenshin had learned early on that one of the abilities the ghosts of the PBKB club had the power to be visible to living beings. The redhead winced as he remembered how the patrons at the bar had screamed and fled when the group had entered.
"The ladies love me," Kaito, the beheaded Shinsengumi, had laughed as the waitresses fainted around them. Takumi, the polite disemboweled Mimiwarigumi, had snorted at that, sat down at a table with Kenshin on his lap, and started downing cups of sake.
Kenshin sighed at the newly formed memory. Takumi couldn't hold his liquor…literally. The sake kept seeping out of wound in his belly, causing it to splash all over Kenshin.
"Well, that was fun," Kaito grinned as the group entered Kenshin's room after the long night of partying, "And no one the wiser too."
"Except for everyone at that sake bar," Kaoru sighed.
"There was hardly anyone there except for the hard-core drunks and the bar staff," Kiyosato shrugged, "The drunks will pass it off as a drunken hallucination and most of the staff ran or fainted. Everything will be fine."
"We should do this more often," Kaito laughed.
"Not too often," Takumi warned, as he put Kenshin down, "We don't want to give some poor innocent a heart attack."
"How about once a year, on Himura-san's birthday?" Kiyosato suggested, "That should be fine. We could go to a different place each year."
/Really, Kiyosato-dono, you don't have to do that, de gozaru/ Kenshin protested, /Sessha's birthday isn't that special…/
"Oh, don't be a prude, Battousai-san!" Kaito grumped, "We want to do this; it's fun! I'm sure your other 'victims' will want to meet you again sometime."
"Oro," Kenshin squeaked.
Then suddenly, he yawned.
"It looks like Battousai-chan is getting sleepy," Kaito giggled as the redhead started rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Go to bed, anata," Kaoru smiled as Kenshin lay down, "You've had a long day.
/Good night, Kaoru-dono, minna-san/ Kenshin murmured as his violet eyes fluttered closed.
"Good night," the ghosts chorused. Silently the ghosts filed out the room, smiling to themselves.
Yes, it had been a fun night.
qpqpqpqp
The next morning, Kenji entered Kenichi's room, expecting Kenichi to be already awake. The boy always seemed to wake up before anyone else, so when Kenji discovered his youngest son still asleep, he was genuinely surprised.
"I guess we wore him out yesterday celebrating at the Akabeko," Kenji murmured. Kenji was just about to leave the room when he noticed a slight smell in the air.
Why the heck did Kenichi smell like alcohol?
Kenji shook his head. He must have been mistaken. After all, it's not like Kenichi could wander off into town and order a cup of sake, right?
qpqpqpqp
One year later…
Kenshin smiled to himself. Kenji had taken the family to the Akabeko to celebrate Kenichi's second birthday. Although Kenshin was slightly tired after all the celebrating, he was still laying awake in his room. The excitement still hadn't worn off. However, as the seconds ticked by, Kenshin felt his eyes getting heavier and heavier until…
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BATTOUSAI-SAN!"
"Oro!"
"Forget the 'oro'! Let's hit the sake bar!"
Kenshin forgotten about the ghosts…
Almost.
Owari: Surprise (a.k.a. Kenichi's First Birthday)
Notes: Kenshin in the OAV died in spring, and that's when Chizuru told Kenji she was pregnant with Kenichi, so that would make Kenichi's new birthday in the winter months, while his old birthday was in June, during the summer. I would place Kenichi's birthday sometime around December.
Keep an eye out for Nakamura Kaito, the beheaded womanizing Shinsengumi member, and Sakurazawa Takumi, the polite level-headed disemboweled Mimiwarigumi member. They and the rest of the PBKB will pop up later.
The PBKB Club (The Poor Bastards Killed by Battousai Club) is supposed to be English. That means that in this fic most of the characters (being Japanese) don't understand what the title of the Club means. The ghosts do, because they decided on the name. Why they chose to use English for their club name, I have no clue. Maybe they just got kicks out of confusing people. I just wanted to use the initials PBKB because it sounded cool, and initials don't really exist in Japanese since they use kanji/hiragana/katakana, so the club name has to be in English.
Glossary:
Ohayo- "Good Morning"
Shinsengumi- (I've glossed this several times; refer to other chapters for more specifics) Kaito was of the tenth patrol, meaning he was under the command of Harada Sanosuke
Mimiwarigumi- a police group in Kyoto during the Bakumatsu; similar to the Shinsengumi, they had the same function and were on the same side, however, the Mimiwari are lesser known and patrolled a different part of Kyoto than the Shinsengumi
Hentai- "pervert"
Minna-san- "Everyone"