hey people thought i better say from the begining this is a roleplay! not a story as such but a roleplay! it is to be read like a play so there is not much description. me and my mate did this over msn playing the different characters i thought it was cool so i decided to put it on here. hehehe as it was my and my mate doing this it might not make much sense and some of it may still be written in short hand...sorry bout that.
a few notes...
any words in italics are actions, thoughts, emotions...basicly anything thats not spoken.
anything is brackets () is an Aurthor's note from either me or my friend, i've hopefully taken out most of the random ones if i have missed any i'm sorry!
again as this was done by me and my freind it is a bit random at the begining.
it has been ratedT as it does include a few swear words and a little torture, so i put T to be on the safe side.
Well people if u like it let me know if u dont ...dont let me know (only joking u can if u wish)
oh and just to let u know i dont own Stargate SG1 or the characters within it some other lucky person does!
well on with the show as they say!
Mad Mad World
Chapter 1 – Madness Ensures!
Jack: no
Daniel: yes
Jack: No
Daniel: Jack!
Jack: Daniel?
Daniel: Stop it
Jack: Why?
Daniel: Because I think we're annoying the people
Jack: What people?
Daniel: The ones behind you
Jack: Who's behind me?
Daniel: points at random internet people who are rolling their eyes and holding spear at 'Jack and Daniels' throat I can translate if you want
Jack: Yeah tell them to get the hell away from me before I shoot them
Daniel: Err...I don't thinks that's a good idea...looks up into sky as a big- and I mean BIG- ship flies over with even bigger guns that the tokrah I could try to tell them we're cherobies
Jack: cherobies?
Daniel: err... people who visit foreign lands with gifts for the leaders... kind of like but kissers...
Jack: right ok u tell that's what u are I'll just hitch a ride with the tokrah then
Daniel: but jack the tokrah hate us now...so you'll have to be a cherobie
Jack: and WHY do the tokrah hate us Daniel
Daniel: coz u told them to shove it when they asked us for help with a new enemy they peed off
Jack: well they are the ones who peed then off no need for hostelriesis there what about Sam's dad Jacob
Daniel: um he's in jail
Jack: why?
Daniel: he agreed with you
Jack: oh right um so any chance of talking us out of this one then
Daniel: um I can try no promises
Jack: well bloody well start trying I'm missing the Simpson's
Daniel: that's not all you'll be missing if you carry on...they're agitated as it is! turns to random internet people wielding spears geyu hyu uuwj hjsju fgyq asgu hjlo bhf bshhy dgyku hrh gdt Colonel Jack 'O'Neill, juje ys hdyysauejdjhf huy thdyes hduujs djieunstd ssr listens as random internet people wielding spears talk back then turns to Jack heh
Jack: um what did u say to them?
Daniel: um...err how fast are you at running?
Jack: GOD DAMM IT DANIEL WHAT DID U SAY?
Daniel: err...oh just how we are the peaceful travellers and that your name is Colonel Jack O'Neill...yeah I didn't get to my name ok! they interrupted me...then they said they have heard of us and they aren't happy...there was something about a dungeon, eternity, and lots of pain in there too...my mandlin isn't that good. You've always wanted to be fed to sharks piece by peice haven't you?
Jack: no but I didn't know that we were so popular
Daniel: err yeah...apophis has a chat room...it averages about 5-600,000,000,000,000,000,001 people at the mo...these are only a few of those members jack we have enemies...and lots of them
Jack: cool like to know that word gets around. now how about we get the hell out of here
Daniel: after you
Jack: k starts running
Daniel: heh turns around and uses stargate to go home leaving jack running on his own
Jack: hey Daniel get your arse back here
Daniel: err...nope?
Jack: Daniel!
Daniel: sits down and drinks hot chocolate while watch the malp screen as jacks runs...and runs...and runs and on a dodgy knee too
jack runs so far that he eventually come up behind Daniel with his p90 held to the back of his neck hello space monkey
Daniel: ooo aaaa...I was going to help you honest but then the chocolate took me prisoner! it's not my fault! blame the chocolate! points at hot chocolate who seems to grow really big and hairy roar! see? told you
Jack: but Daniel you're a coffee addict
Daniel: know but I fancied a change...
Jack: wow
Daniel: but now I know why I don't like hot chocolate
Jack: you think!
Daniel: sorry! big chocolate monster begins to gallop? toward jack and Daniel intent on eating them up
Jack: u will be a big tall bald guy walks in front of chocolate monster
General Hammond: "I don't think so son"
Daniel: just as the big chocolate monster s about to chomp them tea'lc shows up with a big honking gun and shoots it to pieces pew
Hammond: "sg1 minus one debrief in 1 hour"
Jack: thanks tea'lc
Sam: but what about me?
Jack: now u have turned up finally u can join us
Sam: I resent that sir! I was in the ladies-
Daniel: ER need to know carter! that on a need to know
Jack: I know that I'm the military guy Daniel
Daniel: so? u weren't going to say it! you were going to listen and get ima -mmmffphh jacks hand clamps itself around Daniels mouth
Sam: you were going to what colonel?
Jack: nothing, nothing major
Sam: uh huh Daniel 8pm!
Daniel: ok la tasca?
Sam: yup back seat
Daniel: gotacha
Jack: what no don't even think a bout it space monkey
Daniel: what? it's a meal jack! with me Sam Janet Hammond and Siler
Jack: narrows eyes at all of them really then where's my invite
Daniel: u weren't invited
Jack: and why not
Daniel: because it's a scientist and archaeology meeting first...
Jack: Hammond's not a scientist or and archaeologist!
Daniel: no but he's in charge of the SCG and its kind of hard to ask to do stuff to the SCG with out him being there. err… jack?
Jack: Yes
Daniel: Hammond's waiting looks up to a very red, very mad fuming at the ears general Hammond
waves
Jack: oh! visibly cringes we better go tell him how u messed things up with the tokrah
Daniel: you mean how YOU messed things up with the tokrah? begins walking from stargate room to debrief room
Jack: what do u mean me u where translating
Daniel: no that was the random internet people who were working for apophis...the tokrah you peed off remember they can speak English I don't have to translate for you plonker
Jack: oh well it was your idea not to help them I just said it that's all
Daniel: no u were the one against it... I was willing to help! it was you they kicked off the planet...I found you on the planet with the random internet people on...
face it jack you screwed up
Jack: ok, ok I did bad holds up hands in mock surrender so shot me I'm only human
Daniel: ok! takes out pistol and holds it to jacks head
Jack: dam it Daniel it's a figure of speech
Daniel: oh...sorry...puts guns away heh, I guess I stayed a bit too long on abydos
Jack: just a bit walks into debrief room and general Hammond fixes jack an evil glare hi! General stares calmly back at General Hammond
Gen Hammond: you're late
Jack: sorry sir but Daniel wanted to have a debate over a few minor details
Gen Hammond: I don't care! You are a colonel! You must be on time or early when a commanding officer requires your presence! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR! General Hammond grows significantly as Jack shrinks away
Jack: yes sir give a small salute
Gen Hammond: Daniel 8pm remember… La tasca back seats…
Jack: oh for crying out loud!
Gen Hammond: turns and glares at Jack what was that Colonel?
Jack: nothing sir just coughed that's all
Gen Hammond: it had better have been! Ok I have your reports you can go to the infirmary now…dismissed
Jack: infirmary sir?
Gen Hammond: yes…you go every time you've been off world…
Jack: thought it was if we are injured sir
Gen Hammond: no its not now go!
After coming out of infirmary!
Jack: that's better Danny boy
Daniel: you never were on time jack
Jack: and your point is?
Daniel: if u didn't see I before you'll never see it 'colonel'
Jack: well glad we got that settled now u coming to briefing or not
Daniel: well I'd hate to keep the fuming general waiting
Jack: we better not keep him waiting he's mad enough as it is
Daniel: after you...
Jack: no! how could u even suggest such a thing?
Daniel: err... quite easily jack... I just did? Now move
Jack: Ok, ok keep your hair on space monkey
Daniel: do you think he'll explode as soon as we enter or just glare at us then ask us into his office and explode? walks after jack to debriefing room
Jack: um... I'd say he'll glare then explode at you
Daniel: ME!
Jack: Yes
Daniel: NO more like you! points finger in jacks chest out of character like
Jack: me what did I do"
Daniel: if you can't figure it out now...there's no point in telling you storms off...
Jack: looks after Daniel confused no point telling me what?
Daniel: storms off to stargate room again faintly aware of jack following damn him...
Jack: what? what have I done? I can't sort it if u don't tell me
Daniel: just go away jack
Jack: away why?
Daniel: suddenly disappears
Jack: huh? Daniel? Where did that space monkey go now?
Daniel:appears in a dark room err jack?
Jack: still in gate room oh shit Hammond's going to really kill me now walks off to tell General Hammond about Daniel's disappearance
Daniel: ...looks around hello? Anyone here? Is struck from behind and falls unconscious
Jack: knocks on Hammond office door
Hammond: come in
Jack: enters with a big smile on face um sir u know u wanted to see me and Daniel sir?
Hammond: glares... yes...
Jack: well shifts his gaze down to general's desk top Danny is not going to be coming sir he's ... umm...pauses.
Hammond: so Colonel O'Neill are you going to tell me where Dr Jackson is?
Jack: umm. well sir I would...
Hammond: but...:
Jack: rushing on to get it over and done with quickly but I don't know where he is sir
Hammond: what do you mean you don't know? stands up behind desk
Jack: well I don't know where he went sir
Hammond: then go find him!
Jack: manages to stop himself backing off umm... how sir he didn't go through the gate he could be anywhere
Hammond: what are you saying colonel? That Dr Jackson just disappeared in to thin air? said sarcastically
Jack: umm... yes actually
Hammond: don't play games with me colonel...I'm not in a very good mood as it is! Now go find your missing archaeologist and report back ASAP
Jack: yes sir stands up straight and salutes I'll try
Hammond: there's no trying about it colonel! You will or the authorities will never find you!
Jack: gulps yes sir!
Hammond: Dismissed
Jack: quickly walks out of the room shit how am I going to find that sod ah cater just the woman I want to see
Carter: yes sir?
Jack: first things first you seen Daniel
Carter: um...no... why?
Jack: well we will come to that u heard from Thor recently?
Carter: no...Thor's on vacation in the east sector of the inter galactic planetary association...
Jack: is he now that's nice raises eyebrows at cater
Carter: what? He told me...so where's Daniel?
Jack: umm... well u know Daniel always running off and getting lost
Carter: well he's got to be somewhere; he can't just vanish into thin air...
Jack: it happens more than u think major!
Carter: what are you saying sir?
Jack: for crying out loud he disappeared on me!
Carter: are you sure?
Jack: well let me see one minute he was standing right in front of me and the next... oh yeah he wasn't!
Carter: and you weren't dreaming? hallucinating? drunk?
Jack: no, no and drinking on duty Hammond would kill me
Carter: but since when have you obeyed rules sir?
Jack: since when has this conversation been about me?
Carter: I don't know...so where is Daniel? I need him to carbon date the tablets
Jack: well the carbon tablets are going to have to wait till we find him wherever he is.
Carter: so where is he?
Jack: THROUGH CLENCED TEETH I DO NOT KNOW MAJOR!
Carter: what! You mean he's out there...somewhere...on his own? Do you know how high the ransom is on his head?
Jack: no I don't what's that got to do with it
Carter: sir, if he's out there on his own then the goau'ld will have him with in seconds...we may never see him alive again
Jack: don't u think I don't know that major just help me organise a search will you
Carter: sure...but only if you tell me where we start looking
Jack: if I know that I wouldn't be asking
sudden small girl appears in front of jack and carter "are you the colonel?"
Jack: hello? yes I'm the colonel and who are u?
Girl: I have a message from Daniel...he says that he is ok and wants to stay...in other words he doesn't want to be found
Sam: and how do you know this?
Girl: he told me
Jack: well where is he?
Girl: in a galaxy far, far away
Jack: well that's helpful a gate address would be even better
Girl: a gate address? what's that?
Jack: slaps hand on foreheadgeeze what are they teaching kids these days what galaxy far, far away is he in?
Girl: I don't know it's far away"
Jack: groans did he say when he was getting back
Girl: he didn't but the woman with the glowy eyes said never
Jack: What!
Girl: are you deaf?
Jack: no I'm not deaf. Shit this is bad!
Girl: what's shit? innocent look...
Carter: sir the goau'ld have him! stops suddenly and they have new technology too...
Jack: double shit!
Girl: I have to go now...the queen is calling me back...bye disappears
Jack: I better go warn Hammond starts walking off oh carter u better start digging my grave now Hammond not going to like this
Carter: sure sir...where do you want it?
Jack: as far away as possible walks to Hammond office and knocks on door
Hammond: come in
Jack: General Hammond sir
Hammond: why m I not going to like this?
Jack: umm... sir? I haven't said anything yet
Hammond: I know... but it's the second time today you've come to me...
Jack: well the first time u called and well now I think there's something u should know
Hammond: such as?
Jack: um well a bit of good news we know Daniels ok
Hammond: that's good... so where was he?
Jack: we still don't know but takes a deep breath we know he is in the presence of a goau'ld
Hammond: what! you mean to tell me that one of my best men is out there with a goau'ld! how did this happen colonel?
Jack: I don't know sir one minute he was in the gate room and the next he's gone then this kid turns up and says he's alright but with a goau'ld!
Hammond: then you'd better find him colonel!
Jack: yes sir! quickly leaves the room before Hammond can carry on yelling
back with Daniel...is badly beaten... what do you want with me? looks up at cloaked figure of woman...she steps forward, eyes glowing under hood...removes hood Daniel gasps you! I though jack killed you!
goau'ld smiles a goddess can never die...and you our beloved, will find out soon enough...our king will soon mature...
Hammond: what are u doing colonel! you still have to find Dr Jackson!
Jack: I'm looking for him sir!
Hammond: well you're not looking hard enough! now go!
Jack: I am I am
little girl appears hi again!
Jack: hey! you I need to talk to u
yah! is scared! and hides behind teal'c who happens to be walking down the corridor help!
Jack: I'm not going to hurt u I need to talk to u bout Daniel
"O'Neill, there is a matter in which I must discuss with you..."
Jack: can it wait teal'c?
Teal'c: indeed...looks down at girl hiding behind him and raises his famous eyebrow
Girl: you're not going to hurt me? is hesitant
Jack: no I'm not going to hurt u I promise holds out hand for small girl to take
Girl: takes hand still unsure you promise?
Carter: runs down corridor Sir! we have a clue...looks at jack holding a little girls hand and smiles...
Jack: yes major snaps to get carter attention away from the little girl in his hand
Carter: well there was a symbol on the floor in the dust when I went to investigate the crime scene...I told the cleaners to leave it as it is...not much change in there schedule it seems...any luck with miss anonymous here?
Teal'c: I do not believe we have earned the young girls name yet...
Girl: I'm Namine...Royal servant to our Goddess Hathor...
Jack: right teal'c u and carter go and figure out this symbol while I take Namine here to see Dr Frasier to get check out ok?
Teal'c: Indeed bows head
Carter: Yes Sir walks off with teal'c behind her
Namine: What's a Dr Frasier? is confessed
Daniel: wakes up ouch...that hurt looks around, is in a large silky bed in a large silk draped room...wearing silky clothes... what's with all the silk?
Hathor: do you like it? walks erotically over to the bed
Daniel: You!
Dr Frasier: Colonel, how can I- sees Namine help...?
Jack: um Frasier this is Namine and she's come to say hello
Namine: hides behind jack
Frasier: Hello there Namine, I'm Dr Frasier, can you sit on this bed for me so I can take a look at you?
Namine: why?
Frasier: I just want to check for any bumps or cuts and the like...
Jack: picks Namine up and places her on the bed see that's not to bad is it?
Namine: Daniel! et tu quord elmire! begins to cry hysterically and is oblivious to the outside world... (basically having a vision)
Jack: looks at Janet unsure what to do um... its ok Namine its ok we will find Daniel don't worry
Namine: het dfuty retikna! hust jut denyiou! pushed Jack away from her and runs out of the medical wing...
Dr Frasier: Namine! runs after her
Jack: dam it Namine runs after both
Namine: is running down a corridor and manages to lose jack and Dr Frasier...runs into Daniels office then stops Daniel...promptly faints
Dr Frasier: Damn! I lost her...
Jack: how she a kid?
Dr Frasier: well I don't see you knowing where she is colonel!
Jack: sighs lets start a search then
Dr Frasier: ok...
Carter: Sir! hey we found out what the symbol means...it's a sign of Hathor...err...where'd Namine go?
Jack: she did a runner and we lost her just now u not seen her?
Carter: no but if she's obsessed with Daniel, then try his office... it's a good bet that she'll be there
Jack: Carter your a genius dashes off in the direction of Daniels office/room/lab Namine, Namine u here looks around the office and finds the small girl on the floor unconscious shit! he picks the small body up and carries it back to the infirmary
DR Frasier: Colonel! what did you do now! takes Namine from jack and begins routine check ups
Jack: holds hands up in defence I didn't do anything I she was like that when I found her!
Dr Frasier: scowls but begins to smile in a teasing way its ok Colonel, you go see Carter, she has info for you I'll call you when she wakes up
Jack: is she ok? peering at the young girl
Dr Frasier: She will be if you let me do my job, now go
Jack: ok, ok I'm going walks off and finds carter
Carter: Sir! We have the results...
Jack: they better be good results!
Daniel: what do you want from me?
Hathor: What did we want before? Our Beloved has returned...
Daniel: I'll never join you! besides which your snake king is dead...
Hathor: We have other ways of making you ours...
Daniel: The pink smoke won't work either
Hathor: I told you last time, it only ever works the once on a human anyway...but this will make you mine...holds up a small black vial thirsty?
Jack: Carter your results in English please?
Carter: err...ok is a naquadah substance but it has a residue of the technology that Thor uses to 'beam' you up to his ship...
Jack: and that means?
Carter: it means that it's possible that the goau'ld could have adapted the asguards technology and beamed Daniel to them...that's how he disappeared...and also how Namine here appeared
Jack: right but was she sent or did she come of her own accord?
Carter: that you'll have to find out
Jack: me?
Carter: yes you! she seems to like you...talk to her about it, get her to tell you...
Jack: ok taken back by what carters said when she wakes up I will. any idea where they took Daniel?
Carter: none as of yet but we're working on it sir
Jack: well keep working on it the longer it takes the less chance there is for Daniel. Teal'c any idea what our old friend would want with Daniel this time?
Teal'c: there is none O'Neill,
Jack: dam it! sighs well keep working on it I'm going to see if our little friend is back in the world of the living yet
Daniel: get away from me!
Hathor: Shhh hold hand device out towards Daniel be still... Daniel unwillingly become still open Daniels mouth opens... drink Daniel drinks...then falls unconscious
Dr Frasier: She's awake sir...and she wants you
Carter: eyebrows raise
Jack: ok I'm coming ignores carter as he walks out. then walks to the infirmary and stops in the door way
Namine: Jack! springs off the bed and hugs him tight
Jack: whoa your feeling better picks Namine up and takes her back to the bed
Namine: yup! and I don't feel my goddess calling me anymore...its strange
Jack: how do u mean did she call u before?
Namine: it was like a psychic bond she forced upon me...I could feel her when ever she needed me...but now I don't...what happened to me?
Jack: umm... well u umm u fainted
Namine: I what? looks faint oh no! Daniel! we must help him!
Jack: ok its ok we will help him. but we need your help do u think u can help us
Namine: ok...
Jack: well first can u tell me where they took Daniel?
Namine: is hesitant...she'll kill me...begins to cry
Jack: Shhh no she wont I wont let her kill u sits on bed beside Namine I promise I wont let her
Namine: you pinkie promise? holds out little finger
Jack: laughs to himself yes I pinkie promise wraps his little finger round hers
Namine: they took him to the castle... big triangle castle...
Jack: big castle where?
Namine: it was in the forest...behind the mountains...the rings took us there four moons ago
Jack: don't suppose u know the gate address or even the name of the planet
Namine: what's a 'gate address'? what's a planet?
Jack: guess not umm a planet is where u live like here we are on a planet called earth what was where u where called?
Namine: um, our village was called serengita...but I remember the Goddess talking of an earth...and a 'chapa ai'...but I don't know what they mean
Jack: more to himself I wonder what Hathor is up to now?
Hathor: come our King, you have a World to destroy...
Daniel: Of coarse my dear, anything for you...
Jack: to Namine do u know if Daniel is hurt at all
Namine: he was sleeping when I saw him, but he woke up wanting to know where he was...I told him and he looked ill...he asked me to find you...then our Goddess fund out and told me tell you he was ok and doesn't want to come back...
Jack: so she sent u the first time?
Namine: yes, but when I got back and spoke with Daniel again he told me the goddess was evil, and that he needed to get out ... so I came back
Jack: well I'm glad u did come back did Hathor know u came back is that y u fainted?
Namine: I don't know why I fainted, but I came back because he looked so desperate
Jack: u said u moved to this place four months... moons ago where were u before
Namine: in the village
Jack: what village was that do u know the name?
Namine: I told you! Serengita
Jack: ok ok I got a short term memory have u lived in serengita all your life?
Namine: yes...except for four moons now
Jack:his voice was soft and comforting (don't ask y thought it sounded good) what about your mum and dad did they move with u?
Namine: no, they...they were...tears begin falling down her cheeks...they were killed...the men with long weapons killed them...
Jack: I'm sorry wipes at one of the tears falling down her cheek
Namine: you needn't be, it was long ago...shrugs away from jacks touches
Jack: well I am lets his hand fall back to the bed did u say u had psychic link with Hathor?
Namine: yes, it was so she could contact me at a moments notice should I be needed.
Jack: does it work the other way could u contact her or know where she was
Namine: I can locate her...and Daniel too...
Jack: that's good now we just need to get there
Namine: I Can take you there!
Jack: u can?
Namine: yes silly! how do you think I got here!
Jack: how did u get here?
Namine: very excited I'll show you! grabs jacks hand
Jack: wait nam...doesn't get any further
Namine: teleports to home planet
Jack: …ine looks round in pure amazement
Namine: this is the forest where the castle is hidden! if you go that way the rings are by a water fall, they take us to my village and this way grabs jacks hand and pulls him along is the castle
Jack: shit!