I awoke the next morning with a pounding headache and only a vague recollection of the night before. I remembered falling asleep next to Ponyboy, but between then and now I had somehow been transported to my own bed.
I yawned widely and swung my legs over the side of my bed. There were voices coming from the general direction of the living room, and I decided to investigate.
It turned out to be Steve, Soda's best friend and Sodapop.
"Hey kid, what are you doing home?" Steve asked.
"Don't call me kid, and where else would I be?" I asked, annoyed. He always called me kid and I always told him not to. It was a little dance we did.
He stared at me as if I had the intelligence of a potted plant, "School. Or are you a drop out, too?"
It suddenly dawned on me that it was Friday and I did indeed have school today. Yesterday had felt so long, I had just assumed it was already the weekend.
"You don't have to go, Jellybean. I can call in sick for you." Darry said, waltzing in from the kitchen.
I considered my options: stay home and worry about Ponyboy, or go to school and worry about Ponyboy. The latter apppealed to me only because classes would provide some form of distraction, which I desperately craved.
"Can I go to school after lunch?"
"If you want. Soda can drive you."
"I can walk," I answered, surprised. The school was barely ten minutes from our house.
"I don't want you walking alone," Darry said sharply, ending the discussion. I shrugged, deciding not to argue, and flopped down on the couch. It was 11:09, giving me a little over an hour to do as I pleased.
I was deciding whether or not to clean my room just for something to do, when the door opened and in walked Tracey, Soda's latest girlfriend. She had dark red hair, big brown eyes, a lingering smell of cheap, flowery perfume and a dislike of any top that covered her midriff. Soda had been serial dating since his breakup with Sandy, and every one of his conquests were more or less the same, give or take a few layers of make-up. Tracey was pretty, they all were, but she gave off a distinct aura of sleaziness and I resented her for letting my brother think she was good enough for him.
"I heard about your brother," she said, batting her long, fake eyelashes and flopping down on Soda's lap. "How is he?"
"He's okay," Soda answered shortly. Darry had left to go work on a car, so Steve and I were left to squirm uncomfortably at Tracey's skankiness.
"Why don't we go for a walk? Take your mind off things," she said. Her tone suggested she had a secret agenda, and I had a pretty good idea of what it was. I cringed.
"Soda has to drive me to school," I explained, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.
Tracey ignored me. She stood up and tugged on Soda's hand. "Come on. It'll help. Pony wouldn't want you sulking around here all day."
"STOP PRETENDING YOU CARE ABOUT PONYBOY!" I heard myself scream. "YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE!"
"Jessie, calm down!" Soda snapped, his eyes blazing. "You have no idea how she feels, so just keep your mouth shut, understand?"
"Soda! She just wants to get in your pants."
Seve snorted with laughter and I turned to glare at him.
"Would you mind your own business?" Tracey spat at me. She cursed loudly. "You're just jealous because you're an attention-craved little bitch who's afraid to lose Soda, because you already lost your pathetic little boyfriend."
I froze, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. No one said a word. I felt that reckless feeling wash over me again and I lunged at her, a loud crack echoing as I punched her sqaure in the face.
"Jessie!" Steve yelled as he yanked me backwards.
Soda looked angrier than I'd ever seen him. His voice shook as he turned to Tracey and said, "Get out!"
Her nose was bleeding uncontrollably and I felt a twinge of satisfaction. She looked as if she was going to argue, but instead she snapped, "Whatever! It's not my fault your sister is a selfish little -"
"GET OUT!"
Tracey stomped out the door and past Darry who was standing in the doorway, looking completely baffled. Soda never yelled, and I never had a tendency to be violent. Things were changing at an alarming rate in the Curtis household.
"Jess, I'm sorry." Soda said quietly.
"Why do you always go out with trash like that? You can do so much better."
"Come on, Jessie. That's not fair. Maybe she wasn't the best choice, but it's not always like that."
"Yes, it! I hate it. There's someone new all the time."
"So what? What's wrong with that?"
I wasn't sure, but I wasn't about to let him know that, "It's just wrong, okay? Anyway. I don't need a ride to school."
"What? Why?" Darry asked.
"I just changed my mind, is that okay?"
"Would you stop with the attitude?"
"Whatever. I'm going back to bed. Wake me up if you hear anything about Pony."
"Not whatever, Jess. I'm sick of you being such an axe-wound to everyone the past couple days! We're all hurting, okay? We don't need you stirring the pot even more."
That stung. I couldn't even find any words, I just stomped to my room and slammed the door. Darry didn't follow me, but I could hear him ranting to Soda and Steve; I closed my eyes to tune him out.
F L A S H B A C K
"I don't even know why we always fight, it's like a reflex." I said, swinging Johnny's hand in my own. It was a Saturday night; the gang, minus Johnny, had all gone to a drive-in movie and it was the first chance in over a week that Johnny and I had got to be alone. It was nice.
"Well, you do aggravate him, Jessie. I mean, you know what buttons to press and you use that to your advantage."
"So it's my fault?" I asked, highly offended.
"No, you know that's not what I mean. I just mean it takes two people to fight and it's sometimes just as much your fault as Darry's. Maybe try to be less mouthy sometimes, you know?"
I knew, but I was hurt that he didn't immediately come to my defense. That's what boyfriends were supposed to do. "Yeah, you'd know all about fighting at home, wouldn't you Johnny?" I snapped.
Johnny didn't say anything, but he let go of my hand. I wanted to kick myself; I'd never said anything that horrible to him before. Instead of getting angry though, he pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair, "I know you didn't mean that, Jess. And I know you want me to be on your side, but fair is fair and I'm just trying to help you out. You know that, right?"
I snuggled closer to him, "I'm sorry I'm such a terrible person."
"Aw, you're not terrible. You're amazing." He whispered the last part into my hair and I shivered.
I don't know how long we stood there, but I knew that nothing Johnny could say to me could ever make me love him any less. I was his only imperfection.
E N D
Someone was shaking me awake. Sodapop. "Go away," I mumbled.
"We're going over to the hospital. Ponyboy slipped into a coma."
I bolted upright and sprang from the bed. I wasn't dressed, my hair was uncombed, and I was still wearing Darry's sweater from the night before. But none of that mattered. Soda dragged me by the hand, out the door, and into our little Ford. The stars were out, and the sky was a deep velvety purple; it boggled my mind that the stars could still be shining when my brother was lying in a hospital bed, comatose.