As soon as we arrived at the hospital Darry was pulled aside by one of the doctors.
Soda and I stood awkwardly in the middle of the hall, anxious and scared. After a few minutes of speaking in hushed tones, Darry returned to us; his eyes were shiny as if he was about to start crying. He must've seen the horrified expression on my face, because he said quickly, "He's alive."
"I want to see him," I said shakily.
"We can't yet. The doctor said -"
"I don't care, Darry! I need to see him." I could feel my eyes well up with tears.
"I know, kiddo, but we can't," he said softly, pulling me into his arms.
I squirmed away, "I need to see him now. I don't care what the doctor says! He's our brother!"
Darry sighed loudly and put his head in his hands, "Jessie, please don't start right now. I have enough to worry about."
"I need to see him, Darry!" I ran over to the nearest nurse. "What room is Ponyboy Curtis in?"
"103, but you can't see him right now, I'm afraid," she said briskly.
"Why not? I'm his sister! Why can't I see him?"
Darry grabbed my arm, "Jessie, would you cool it? We all want to see him. Sorry, ma'am," he added to the nurse. She gave us a pitying look and walked away.
He gave me a hard shake, "What has gotten into you? You're like a damn time-bomb - I can't keep up!"
"Darry, she's upset, just give her a break," Soda said.
"Don't play the hero, Sodapop. She's being a brat, and you know it."
"She's upset! Her twin brother, our brother, is in a coma in critical condition! What do you want her to do? Throw a fucking parade!"
"Watch your language, kid," Darry said sharply. "You think I don't know all that? That still doesn't give her the right to -"
"STOP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HERE!" I yelled, giving Darry a hard shove. He barely stumbled,
but his expression turned stony.
"Why are you making such a scene? You know what? Get in the car, you're going home. Soda will drive you -"
"No, I won't. She has just as much right to be here as -"
"DON'T. ARGUE. WITH. ME." Darry roared.
"I'm not going anywhere until I see Ponyboy!" I said defiantly.
We all stood there, breathing deeply, ready to retaliate. An elderly doctor approached us cautiously. "Excuse me? Are you the Curtis'?"
"Yes," Darry said shortly.
"Your brother is in no condition for visitors, and probably won't be for a couple of days; tomorrow at the earliest.
I think it'd be best if you all went home - we'll update you of any changes in his condition."
"We're not going anywhere until we see him," Darry said politely.
The doctor shrugged, "Suit yourself, but you'll have a hell of a sleep on those hospital chairs." He walked off down the hall, and we all watched him go.
"I guess that's settled then," Soda said, making his way over to the sitting area. Darry followed and plopped down onto a chair.
"Darry, please," I begged, walking over to stand in front of him. "I want to see Pony. Can't you do something?"
"I wish I could, Jellybean. I do. But we just have to wait." He pulled me down onto his lap, and this time I let him. I laid my head on his shoulder and blinked back a new flood of tears. I was so sick of crying - it hadn't done me any good so far.
"Why do bad things keep happening to us?" I asked quietly.
Darry didn't answer, but I heard him make a noise in the back of his throat, like a sob. I didn't want to see him cry, so I buried my head in his chest and tried to sleep.
F L A S H B A C K
"Hi, Johnny." I said quietly, walking over to his bedside. I tried not to gasp at the sight of his burns, but my expression must've gave me away.
"It doesn't hurt too bad," he said, trying to smile.
I sat on the edge of his bed, unsure of what to do. He grasped my hand tightly and I squeezed his back.
"I need to tell you something, Jessie."
"Yeah?" I asked. Something in his voice told me it wasn't good news. I wanted to run away; I wished then that I was brave like my brothers, but I was a coward.
"I ...the doctors say I'm probably not going to live much longer. I inhaled too much smoke, and my lungs are damaged pretty badly. Now don't start crying, okay? I've accepted it, and I need you to accept it, too. Nobody knows except me and now you."
"Johnny, no, they said you'll be okay -"
He was shaking his head, "I told them I didn't want anyone to know. It's better that way. But I wanted to tell you myself. I love you, Jess. I really do."
I had begun to sob, my whole body trembling with emotion. "No, Johnny, please ...just hold on. You're tough! The doctor's could be wrong. Please, Johnny,
I need you."
"Don't cry, Jessie, please! I never deserved you, and maybe I'm being punished, I don't know. All I know is that I loved you,
maybe more than you loved me, and I'm glad I'm going to die knowing that I had you in my life."
I shook my head, "That's not true, Johnny Cade. You were the best thing in my life, the best thing. I will never feel this way about anyone else."
"That's not true. You're going to grow up and meet someone and get married and raise a family; maybe you'll think about me once in awhile, about all the firsts we had, but that's all. Don't be sad, Jessie. You're gonna be okay, I know it. You'll get out of Tulsa and find someone better than me."
"Stop it!" I sobbed out, "That's not true! I want to marry you! Only you, don't you understand?"
"That's what you think now, Jess. Things change." He paused, and then said, "Can I ask you a favor though?"
I was too emotional to answer, so I just nodded my head.
"When you get married and start a family, don't forget me, okay? I figure my parents will move on easy enough, but I need someone to remember that I was here. Just remember me, okay? Remember that I was the first one who loved you enough to disagree with you once in awhile," he reached up to trace my face with his fingertips, "and to memorize your eyelashes, and your eyes, and your lips ..."
"I promise," I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks and onto his hands.
"I love you, Jessie."
I lowered my face to his, and kissed his lips softly.
E N D
Sorry this chapter is so short. I want a few more reviews before I continue, so I'm going to wait awhile and see what the response is! Thanks to all those have been loyal readers :)