A.N. 5/18/05 Just revised this because of a glaring date discrepancy.

1989

It was, no doubt, one of the shittiest days of his life.

Looking around to make sure no one saw him, he walked in with his keys to his father's garage.

The place was deserted. Everyone was at the races…well, everyone except for him.

"Fucking curfew" he cursed, going in

Two nights ago he'd come in at eleven and his father hadn't been very happy. He'd come in, with his backpack still in his hands, cap twisted to the side, baggy clothes pristine, looking like he'd just come in from school.

Of course, he hadn't. It was an hour after his curfew, and his father knew that he'd changed his shirt to hide the smell of cigarette and fast food.

His father was a man of very few words, and after taking a good look at him, had ordered him to bed and told him he'd deal with him in the morning.

It wasn't the first time that he'd broken curfew, and they both knew it wouldn't be the last. He didn't do it often, but he gambled on going to his friend's party tonight on account that his father would be working late at the garage, preparing for this weekends race.

Imagine his surprise when he'd walked in and there was his dad, giving him the eye.

He had been expecting yard work, babysitting duties, and even more grunt work at the garage. So it was a huge blow when his father told him that as punishment, he wouldn't be going to the races that weekend.

"You didn't just skip on your curfew Dom, you broke my trust when you chose to go out when I was gone and left your sister all alone in the house."

He wanted to argue, to tell his father that he was the best pit mechanic he had, and that eleven o'clock was a curfew for wussies, and that none of his friends had to go home early.

But the look on his father's face told him to shut up before it got worse.

And even then it did: his father took Vince to the races, to make it an extra special lesson.

Now here he was, grounded for the rest of the week, while everyone was out having a good time.

Fuck, even Mia ended up going.

So after spending most of the morning sleeping in and doing some of his dad's assigned chores, he'd decided to head off to the garage to spend some quality time with the only thing that could make this day better.

Pulling the tarp off the car, his eyes feasted on the jet back exterior of the Charger.

"Hey, there baby girl" he smiled, running a finger on the side of the car

He and his father had been working on her on and off for close to six months now. They had her running, but not necessarily primed up for competition.

He couldn't wait to make the modifications.

He was about to get in when he heard a noise in the corner washroom. Looking up, he saw that the garage window was open.

"Shit" he muttered, grabbing a tire iron and slowly walking towards the room

Taking a deep breathe, he counted to three before busting open the door of the bathroom, swinging the tool and nearly dropping it when he saw who was in it.

Present

"Letty?"

Dom tentatively pushed the stock room door and peered in, not really sure of what he was going to see.

He'd waited for an hour before going in. At first, he wanted to get in there as soon as he'd heard the news, but Mia had put a strong arm around him and firmly told him to back off.

If Letty had wanted him to know, she would have told him. And after cooling off, he realized that she was right.

Nineteen years. Heck of a long time to finally hear from someone, Letty would tell him when she was ready, and he was willing to wait.

But that didn't mean that he'd let her deal with this on her own. He'd let that happen once, he'd be damned if he was gonna let it happen again.

"Let?" he called out again, stepping in when he didn't hear anything

The sight that greeted him broke his heart.

Letty sitting on the floor, crying, staring at the mess she made and trying in vain to put some parts that she'd broken back together.

The whole place was a mess. It would probably take the better part of two days to put things back and redo the inventory.

But he didn't care about that…what he cared about was the mess in front of him, and the one thing that he couldn't put back together.

"Letty" he swallowed thickly, wanting to say something, anything to make her feel better

Instead, she looked frustratingly up from her repairs and met his worried gaze. She looked so sad, and so broken that pain constricted in his chest.

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to make it all better for her, but he didn't know how to. There was nothing that he could say, and he was deathly afraid to touch her.

And just when his mind was running out of options, she looked into his eyes said something that completely unexpected.

"I'm sorry Dom" she sobbed

That did it for him. Nothing else needed to be said.

He immediately ran to her side and just held her.

1989

"Jesus, what the fuck happened to you?"

Letty flinched at the sound of his voice and he immediately regretted yelling at her.

Putting the tire iron down, he walked over to where she was standing and sat her up on the counter in one swoop.

She was getting past that stage where he could pick her up, but the sight of all that blood made him panic.

"It's not as bad you think" she gurgled, trying hard to breathe through the blood

"Not as bad as I think!" he hissed, taking hold of her chin

After cleaning most of the blood on her face, he made a closer inspection.

Her nose was swollen, but it wasn't broken. Good. He didn't really want to head off for the hospital that day. A blood vessel had probably popped, and after a good few minutes of pinching her nose, they managed to staunch the blood.

But that still didn't explain why she had a shiner and a bloody nose and a cut lip.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked again

She shrugged her shoulders. "Got into a fight."

"What?" he yelled

"I said I got into a fight" she answered, looking down the floor to her side but her voice sounding as defiant as ever

"What the hell are you doing getting into fights and with whom!"

"Will you quit yelling!" she snapped back "I got into a stupid fight down the playground with that Elario kid from down the street."

Dom's eyes grew wide. He knew the kid, and he looked more like a teenager than a boy of eleven.

"You got into a fight with Carlos?" he asked incredulously "And whose fucking hair-brained idea was that?"

"Carlos, though I don't think there were any brains involved, at least for his part" she muttered "Beat the shit out of him too"

Dom cursed. He knew Letty could pack a wallop, he'd been on the receiving end of it once too. She had a pretty good hook for someone barely over five foot.

He didn't know what the fuck was wrong, but lately all Letty ever did had something to do with rage. If she wasn't angry at something, she was pissed off at someone, and most of the time it showed. She acted out, she ranted off, she bitched, she sulked, and it was getting to a point where it was beginning to affect everybody.

This was the first time he learned she'd been in a fight, but he doubted that it was the only time.

"What the hell were you thinking, getting into a fight with a kid almost twice your size!" he said

"Like I said, I don't think a lot of thinking was involved" she ground out "Elario started it, ain't my fault"

"Oh, not your fault" he said dourly "And who's fault is it gonna be when you go home and your papi sees your face?"

She just shrugged. She was looking at the tips of her shoes and wouldn't look at his face, trying to be as difficult as possible.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway? I thought you went to the races with dad?"

"My father's home, I didn't want to leave him" she answered grudgingly "He's in his study."

Dom sighed and rubbed at his face. If Raul was in his "study" on a Saturday afternoon, it was unlikely that he was ever going to come out until Monday morning.

"We didn't have anything at our house" she explained "I thought you were all out and I know Tony keeps a first aid kit here"

Dom gritted his teeth and studied her face again. It was going to be hell explaining what happened—mostly to his father.

Raul was generally a nice guy, but it pissed him off on how much he could get away with in not taking care of Letty. She wasn't like some cat where you just put food out and left her to fend for herself, she was an eleven year old kid who had a lot of things to deal with.

Most recently this.

"You wanna tell me what the fuck happened with Carlos?" he asked "Or am I gonna have to go over there and ask him while you explain to his folks why you beat up their kid?"

He saw a flash in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"He's not gonna talk, not unless he's gonna admit that a girl whupped his pussy ass up" she smirked

"Letty" he cut her off, letting her know that he was not amused by her cockiness

She straightened up, but didn't lose the edge to her gaze.

"Like I said, he started it"

"And what the fuck did he do that you had to beat him up?" he demanded

"He was bustin' on some kid from my school" she answered

"What?" he asked

He didn't really understand. For as long as he could remember, Letty hardly had any friends from school. From grade school and now middle school, she still went to Holy Cross, but had given no indication that she was hanging out with anyone.

If she wasn't at home or in the shop, or out with Mia, she was riding around in her bike doing…nothing.

And nothing—Dom knew—always lead to something if you were bored out of your wits.

"Lemme get this straight" he said "You beat Carlos because of some shit he said about a kid from your school…nice to know you private school girls are starting a gang of your own during the weekends"

She glared at him. "Jenny and I aren't friends, I just know her"

"Not friends, that's great" he said dourly "Now you wanna tell me why you pounded some guy in behalf of Jenny, who is not your friend?"

"Coz Carlos was being a blabby asshole, that's why!" she spat out "Just coz his mom's a secretary for Jenny's dad, doesn't mean he has a right to speak out on what should be their business"

"True" he said "But now that's their business, you got no right to interfere either"

"Jenny's a wuss, she can't stand up to herself" she snorted "But just coz she's a fucking Barbie it doesn't mean he could say that about her"

"Say what?"

Letty fixed him with a steely gaze.

"That Jenny was a fucking brat and that she deserved to be abandoned by her father"

Present

After wiping some snot and calming her down, Dom had settled in to comfort her, not even knowing if he could.

Letty was a mess, he'd never seen her like this.

The Letty he knew was tough, always ready, never showed weakness and never to be knocked down in a fight.

But he guessed that the past few days of carrying that burden had taken its toll on her, and she was stripped down to the bone with her wits.

She must have been growing crazy, and all he thought was that she was in some sort of hormonal shift.

He tightened his hold on her waist and she gave a little cough. She was sitting on his lap and he had his arms around her, letting her know that he was there when he needed her…even if it was just to wipe her snot on his sleeve.

"You okay?" he murmured against her ear

She just nodded. "Yeah…yeah, I think I am."

Pulling back, she wiped some tears from her eyes and looked at him, face grease stained and ruddy.

And still he couldn't think of anything he saw that was more beautiful.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier" she said

"Nah, it was my fault anyway" he said "I just…I get a bit nervous when I see someone new now, it's like…"

She gave his arm a little squeeze "Yeah, I know. I know. It's pretty difficult. After the heist…I guess you get to be more paranoid. Especially with that scare I gave you with Jim…"

His hold on her tightened, but he didn't say anything. They never talked about Jim, or even about that time. They promised each other they would, but the timing never seemed to be right.

And now wasn't the right time either.

But now was a time to be honest, and that's exactly what Dom thought he should be.

"It's just…" he swallowed, nervous all of a sudden "I kinda always thought you hated school, you know? And that's why you never talked about it."

Her eyebrows furrowed but a lopsided smile formed in her face.

"Really?" she said "Well, that's not true. I mean, I never liked it, just who the fuck likes school anyway, but…you know…I just, I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it either"

She paused, examining one of his large hands while chewing on her upper lip, a sure sign that Letty was about to tell him something she thought he didn't want to know.

"I just…I…" she took a nervous breathe before looking up at his face "I didn't talk about it, because I thought it would hurt you"

He opened his mouth to deny it, but changed his mind and closed it.

It might have been shit, but it was a true observation. He didn't want to talk about those times; fuck, about anything that was even remotely related to those times. He didn't want to be reminded of it, not with anything. Not with clocks, dates, mentions of old TV shows…he didn't want to hear anything that happened while he was gone, for fear of remembering.

Close your eyes, Dominic. Don't look.

Dom closed his eyes, trying in vain not to look, to blind himself from his memories…but even behind his closed lids he could still see it, could still hear it…

A soft touch on the side of his face made him jerk and snap his eyes open.

He was breathing rather harshly, and his heart was hammering on his chest. It was…it was like a waking nightmare in the middle of the day.

And as always, there was Letty to hold him…

He leaned down into her palm and looked at her face, forgetting everything—NO—burying everything that was bad to concentrate on the good that was in front of him.

"It's all right Letty, you don't have to shut off that part of your life, its okay" he said, hoping she wouldn't detect how his hitched on the last word

She didn't look like she believed him, and he was quick to divert.

"It's fine, I just…if you kept in touch with her for such a long time, then she must have been at least a good friend…and I just…I thought I knew all of your friends, that's all…"

He could see the struggle in her eyes, and he almost felt bad for doing this to her. But he had a question, a legitimate question, and if he didn't ask it, it was going to get buried at underneath the billion things that they should have talked about but since they were scared, never did.

"I…"Letty started, not quite knowing what to say "I guess, what I want to say is that they're important to me."

The honesty in her speech surprised the both of them, and with his silence Dom urged her to continue.

"I mean, not just Suzie" she was quick to explain "Suzie was, like I said, the only person I ever really talked to there…but it's just…it's all of them"

She paused, not quite knowing how to explain this. She'd never really said this before, to anyone, mostly because she didn't think anyone would understand.

She thought back, remembering what it was like when she entered that school. The nuns had been kind, no doubt after her father had explained the situation to them.

But the kids…

"When mama left the kids from Jefferson teased me. Mia did what she could, but you know how kids are…they didn't mean it, but it still hurt" she said, annoyed that the memory would bother her until now

"When I went to Holy Cross…nobody teased. Even when they found out. At first, I thought it was because nobody cared. I was the new girl and I just…I hated it there, coz everybody knew everyone else, and I didn't seem to fit in. But later on, I realized that it was more…" she stopped, looking for the words

"It was more like, respect, you know?" she explained "You go to a school with a population of 300 and somehow, everyone's a friend…even those you don't talk to. It was just the way things were…"

Her hands brushed across his knuckles, and he could see the frown deepening the creases on her forehead as she went on.

"When Tony…when your dad died, everything was a mess" she explained raggedly "And when you…when you went to jail, everything just fell apart. Mia…Mia couldn't pull herself together, Vince got drunk, no one was there to run the garage, or the store…and I…I was just a kid, I couldn't do anything"

"That summer, it felt like…it felt like life ended for me you know?" she said, her voice quivering "I mean, Tony…he was my dad too, and when he died…"

Dom blinked away the moisture away from his eyes, remembering that day.

The smell of burning rubber searing into his lungs, smoke getting into his eyes as he tried to make his way to his father, his car a fiery ball of flame in the dark tarmac.

Other than that he couldn't remember anything. Didn't remember the hands that held him down, trying keep him from crawling to his dad. Mia screaming hysterically in the stands, or the doctor that had come to sedate him.

He couldn't remember anything. Only the screams that he heard somewhere beyond his head, like a wounded animal crying out into the woods.

The rest of the day had passed like a blur. Everything had happened so fast, one minute he had a dad, and a second later, he was gone.

And he couldn't remember anything, nothing at all except thinking that he was now an orphan.

There was nothing else beyond the world he had for himself, of the pain he'd felt in losing his dad.

It never once occurred to him that there were other people who felt the loss just as deeply…

And his heart bled and swelled for the woman in his arms, whom he had shared so much, given so much so much, and taken so much, on so many different levels…

"That day they took you into custody was my first day in school. I wanted to skip, but everybody said it was a bad idea. They said that the court proceedings would take too long, and I'd miss too much school, and that I was just a kid, and what the fuck could I do anyway?" she paused, looking at some point in the wall

"I felt so…angry for not being able to see you. But the more they made me stay away…the more I began to realize that it was for the better because…because I loved you Dom" she admitted "I was just a kid, but I loved you…so much…and I knew I wouldn't be able to stand seeing another person I loved go away…"

She wiped some of the tears on her face with the back of her hand, pausing to regain composure.

It was difficult thinking back to those days. Even now, just the thought of it still hurt, and on some days, she didn't even know how she managed to survive those times, beyond dragging herself out of bed everyday.

"When I got to school…everybody knew what happened. And I mean everybody. But they…they didn't say anything. No one. I didn't get cards, I didn't get any worried looks…" she said "I thought 'these fucking bitches, I might as well be dead, coz nobody cares'…but they…they just knew Dom"

"I didn't want to talk to anybody, so they didn't…I just wanted to forget, so they let me…but they never forgot me" she explained "I went to school that day, and all my books had been reserved. Some girl, Ashley, already did it for me. Another girl…she gave me my notes…and it was…it was just a whole buncha other things Dom…"

"Those nuns…Those girls…I've known them since I was seven years old. They knew everything that's happened to me, and I knew everything that's happened to them. We all watched each other grow up and…" she paused, gulping in a breath "And for awhile, they were…they were family to me."

"Going to school, knowing exactly what was going to be there. The people I was going to face…and that they would just let me be…me…and still be there for me…and I needed that Dom." She said

"I needed to know that some part of my life was gonna be okay, despite all the shit that happened. That even for just a couple of hours, I could be in this place where all I had to do was sit down and make these grades, while knowing that someone was going to be there…"

She swallowed, then took a deep, shuddering breath, feeling completely drained of her admission.

And for a long while they just…sat there, contemplating on the words she just said, feeling tired of the whole days' events but at the same time…

Relieved that all this had happened. Happy that they could move onto the next level.

They had opened a door that they had both been afraid of…but had long since needed to.

"Letty?" Dom mumbled, shifting her weight in his arms, thinking that she'd fallen asleep

But her gravelly reply told him otherwise.

"Yeah?" she answered, pulling back and looking at him

"Next time…next time you need to say something, or need help on something…I want you tell me" he said earnestly "Even if you think it's gonna hurt me."

"Dom--"

"Promise me…" he asked, almost desperately "Promise me you'll do this, alright?"

He could see the confusion in her eyes, and the guilt…He knew that she was wondering if he knew…

But he made sure to keep his expression neutral. He didn't want her to think that she'd been caught in a lie, when she had the right to reserve the information to herself…

"I…" she struggled, willing the words to come out of her mouth…

"My mother wrote me" she blurted out

Despite the fact that he already knew, Dom still felt the initial shock of her saying it herself.

"I know I should have told you sooner but…fuck, I just…I didn't know what to do"

"It's okay" he answered calmly "But you're telling me now, right? That's what matters."

Letty looked up and into Dom's face, wondering who this man was. His eyes held no judgment, only understanding.

"He knows" she realized "Mia probably told him…but he didn't…the old Dom would have confronted me…"

Instead here he was, patiently waiting for her, when deep down he was probably pissed and worried that she didn't tell him.

"But you're telling me now…"

She knew what it was like to be kept in the dark. Even when she didn't regret her time with Jim, she still thought she should have told him.

"And here I am demanding honesty from him…" she told herself

To be human. She couldn't understand herself sometimes…

"She sent the letter to the house. I guess after all these years, she still knows how to find me…" she said

"What did it say?" he asked, wiping the stray tears from her face

"She said hi" she answered dourly "You're usual 'hi how are you, hope you're doing well, and can you fill me in with what's going on with you for the past nineteen frigging years!'"

Dom tightened his hold on her as she struggled to calm down.

He knew, he was angry too. Maria was like a second mother to him, and her leaving had hurt him too.

But at the end of it all, she still wasn't his mother. He'd gotten to say goodbye to his mother, and told her everything he wanted he wanted her to know before she died.

Letty had just woken up one day to find her mother gone. And she'd lived the rest of her life asking why she had left her, and wondering whether she was living or dead.

"Did she…did she say anything else?"

"Only that she was sorry" she answered "She said she can't explain it in a letter, but she said…she said she never wanted to go"

"No mother wants to leave their child" Dom softly told her

"But she did" she said bitterly "She may not have wanted to, but she left. And I fucking hate her…so much…"

She paused, swallowing a sob. "But I fucking miss her too"

"Letty--"

"How can I miss her after everything she's done? How can I do that when all I want to do is hurt her"

"She's your mama, Let" he told her "That will never change."

"You know what, she said that too" she said with a resentful smirk "She says she wants to have a chance at explaining herself"

Dom frowned.

Maria had caused so much hurt in Letty's life. They were just getting things back on track…they'd been through so much. He didn't want her to hurt anymore.

"If I could take away your pain" he willed "I would"

But he couldn't.

He couldn't protect her from the harsh realities of life, no more than she wanted to protect him. This was something she had to do on her own, and he had to let her.

"She wants to see me" she said blankly

He just looked at her. "Will you?"

Letty gave a troubled sigh.

"I don't know."