Gendo's Bad Day
The hallways of NERV were mostly quiet that morning, save for one individual who was making his way to his office. His hands were in his pockets and his he was staring at the floor, his mind deep in thought.
Soon, very soon, Gendo thought, I will have Yui back. I will the love of my life returned to me. Not even those old bastards at SEELE can stop me. BUWAHAHA! He never even noticed the 'Caution! Slippery Floor!' signs as he stepped onto a recently mopped part of the tiled floor.
"Ah!"
And down he went.
Goddamn fucking bastard. He thought, still rubbing his now injured knee. He'd find the person responsible for maintaining this part of the Geofront and tear them a new one when possible.
Easing himself up, he headed for Dr. Akagi's office. Perhaps the good doctor could give him a little something for his knee and maybe more.
"What the hell!" Gendo roared as he reread the note he'd found pasted to the doctor's monitor. It was unbelievable. When he'd first entered the medical bay he noticed that the doctor was nowhere to be found. It was only then he glanced at her computer and found the note addressed to him.
Dear Bastard King,
If you've found this note and I no doubt that you have, I hereby announce my resignation from NERV.
I've recently come to grips with what has been happening and now know the truth.
YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU NEVER LOVED ME! ALL YOU EVER WANTED ME WAS FOR SEX AND USED ME!
Well now I don't have to worry about that. I've recently found someone who I love and return's my feelings. She's incredibly kind and compassionate, warm and funny. AND TOTALLY AWESOME IN BED! UNLIKE YOU, WHO COULDN'T EVEN KEEP IT UP WITHOUT VIAGRA!
Goodbye forever, you goddamned fool.
Sincerely,
Doctor Ritsuko Akagi.
The supreme bastard king of Nerv grabbed the letter with both hands and shredded it. He then turned and took a step, not noticing a spilled beaker on the floor.
Whoosh! "Argh! Son of a bitch!"
And down on the floor he went.
Gendo was now limping towards the elevator that would take him to Terminal Dogma. With Dr. Akagi's resignation, he would now have to oversee every aspect of the updates to the dummy plug by himself. He fished through his pocket for his i.d. card brought it through the scanner.
Nothing happened.
"What now?"
He then noticed a small note pasted on the elevator door. It simply read 'Out of Order.' Gendo sighed. He'd have to take the stairs all the way down.
Gendo opened the door and took a step down. Had he really paid attention he'd seen where the steps had recently been coated in a slippery brown substance.
SLIP! "Holy shit!" Gendo fell on his ass and rolled the other 3,785 steps down to Terminal Dogma.
Because of Gendo's little Terminal Dogma incident, he was now confined to a wheelchair. He was currently "wheeling" himself out in the front of the pyramid shape of Central Dogma. All of the sudden, a shadow appeared over him. He looked up…
"Oh fiddlesticks."
…as Unit 01's boot stepped right on him. The Eva paused for a second, noticing it had stepped in something and used its prog knife to wipe it away.
The end!
Yeah I know, it sucked. But I've had this idea for this story in my mind for sometime now and had to write. Hoped you all enjoyed it!