Okay, I'm updating.

Again.

Be happy.

Or…not.

But either way, please review.

And, to a request, I have made this chapter have a Jesse POV in it.

This is also my attempt at a non-ditzy Suze, because I realized that reviewer was totally right.

So, thanks to both of you, you know who you are.

But please, bear with me on this chapter, I had NO idea where I was going with it when I started it, and still wondered what the hell I was doing when I finished it.

Chapter 3

I grumbled to myself as I threw another book on top of the pile inside my locker. I quickly slammed the door, to keep the pile of crap from pouring out onto the ground, and then prayed the thing wouldn't explode.

It had been THREE DAYS since I'd last seen Jesse.

I am not kidding you.

He was pulling the whole disappearing act, and it sucked.

Majorly.

Avoidance, I have found, is a tried and true tactic. It only sucks if you're the one being avoided.

Maybe, I didn't miss him.

Maybe I was mad at him.

I could feel myself starting to get annoyed as I headed toward Father D's office.

Maybe I didn't care if I saw him.

Ever AGAIN.

The receptionist told me to go into his office, and as I swung open the door, I realized why I was here during my lunch break.

To ask him if he'd seen Jesse.

Oh.

So maybe I did care.

Just a little bit.

"Susannah, and to what do I owe this visit?"

"What?" I said as I plopped down in the chair in front of his desk, "A person can't just stop by to say hi?"

"Well," he started and I could have sworn he was smirking. There has to be a commandment against that. A priest smirking, I mean, "a person could, however, you Susannah, have a reason, I know you do."

"Are you saying I'm not human?"

Father D blushed and said, "of course I'm not implying that Susannah, I just assumed…"

"Okay, I do have a reason. Have you seen Jesse lately? He hasn't stopped by in a long time…"

"Good. You know it's not healthy to become…attached to a ghost Susannah, especially when you know that he has to move on one day."

This, I knew, was true.

"Still. He's my FRIEND Father D." Unfortunately that was all he seemed to want to be, but I didn't add that part.

"Is there a reason he hasn't come around Susannah? Have you two had a fight?"

He looked at me with that priestly expression and I really, really, really didn't want to lie to him.

But I really, really, really, REALLY didn't want to admit that I'd made out with him either.

So I decided to go around the lie.

"We didn't have a fight, Father D."

Which was true.

"No, I haven't seen him Susannah, but" and that was when I saw the shimmer from the corner of my eye.

I stood up immediately as I saw Jesse's form start to appear. He looked shocked and started to disappear, but I launched myself—literally—at him. He crashed onto the floor, and I hoped that no one heard us.

Well, me. He was dead.

"You, aren't going anywhere Mr."

"Susannah," Father D started, "I thought you two didn't have a fight."

I stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles of my black skirt.

"We didn't. I just wanted him to stay."

I realized, that it wasn't a very lady-like action. Oh well.

I gave Jesse a I've-got-you-now smile and plopped back down in the chair.

"We," I said, "were just talking about you."

"Were you?"

That was Jesse.

"Yah."

My stomach growled really loudly and I felt myself turn a bright shade of magenta.

"Susannah, maybe you should get going," Father D peered at me over his glasses, "your lunch period is almost over, and I have things to do." He smiled kindly at me. I glared at the both of them and stalked out of the office.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting in my English class.

As we read through the part Jesse and I had…acted out…I had to snap myself out of a wistful state, thinking about how nice it was to study with him, instead of with the class.

Yah.

Study.

We can all laugh now, really.

And Juliet didn't have it so bad, really.

I mean, at least her Romeo liked her back.

I was having trouble on that end.

Was I a bad kisser?

I mean, was that why he kept leaving?

I wasn't that bad…was I?

I hoped not. I mean, Paul seemed to like it enough.

Kissing me, I mean. In fact, he tried to get me to do it on every occasion he could. Which really wasn't fair, because I usually ended up kissing him back.

Even though I didn't want too.

When we started anyway…

But Jesse, I have to say, was a WAY better kisser than Paul. On the offside chance he actually did kiss me.

Which wasn't nearly often enough for my liking.

Great, now every time I'm in English, I'm going to think about Jesse. I have enough trouble paying attention as it is.

I guess I must have zoned out, because the next thing I knew, we were being assigned another scene to read, and I was out of my last period class.

Great.

More fun.

I tracked down Adam and demanded a ride, then denied his offer of going to Vegas and getting married.

Cee Cee looked particularly annoyed when he made this request, voicing the fact that "no way would anyone marry you."

Which made him go, "what, you wouldn't marry me Web?"

And her blush and stammer.

By the time Adam dropped me off at my house, I had fully had enough of Jesse's attitude. I'd had lots of time to go over every little thing he's ever done that's pissed me off, and decided that it wasn't cool.

And that I may make him watch some Oprah show on women of the twentieth century, or something of the like.

So when I stomped into my room, really, really mad at him, I was shocked to find him sitting on my window seat, reading A History of California—what was it before it was a state?

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, before realizing that I did actually want him here.

"Did you not want to speak with me Querida?"

"Well, yah, but where were you?"

"Oh," he smirked, "around."

What, did he have another mediator girl he stalked or something?

Oh. God.

What if he did?

What if that was why he kept disappearing.

He was two timing me!

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Wait, be cool.

"Yah, around where?"

I gave him an I-know-what-you-think-I-don't look.

And, to his credit, he looked worried.

"Just merely admiring California Querida."

Did he call her Querida too?

"Whatever," I dropped my backpack and tugged out R & J, "I have homework to do."

I dismissed the idea of him having another mediator girlfriend. It was kind of ridiculous.

"Do you need help?"

I froze. Two ways to go with this…

"Sure, that'd be good. It's more Shakespeare though."

He looked all excited. I hoped it was because of what had happened last time we'd read Shakespeare…

Jesse's POV

You. Will. Not. Dishonor. Her.

Repeat to yourself De Silva.

You. Will. Not. Dishonor. Her.

You will dishonor…

No. Don't think that way.

I always had that internal battle with myself when I was around her. I wanted to grab her and kiss her, but my upbringing wouldn't let me do that.

Did she mind when I did though?

She didn't seem too…but what if she did care?

Oh. Dios.

You will not kiss her De Silva.

She handed me the Shakespeare book and I thought about what she had said at the end of our last 'session' about Rhett.

Who was he?

Another one of her beau's?

What wasn't proper in this day and time…

"Querida…who is Rhett?"

"Excuse me?" She blinked up at me, and I could see her thinking. Then she blushed.

"Erm, he was a character in a book I…read one time." I then caught the words, "look like him" and "really not important."

That's when I knew.

I don't know why, or how.

But that's when I knew.

She loved me too.

It hit me, and I immediately thought of the good side of this.

She did like it when I kissed her. I could do it more…

But then again…I was dead.

Which was why all of this was so complicated.

Did I really have to worry about that?

Yes. I did.

She grabbed the book back from me and began to flip through the pages. She leaned against me, and every muscle in my body tightened.

No. You will not touch her…

"This is so boring…isn't there anything more interesting we could do?"

I don't think she really knew what she was saying. There were lots of interesting things I could think of; however, none of them seemed to be proper.

"Shakespeare," I said in a tight voice, "is interesting."

"So not."

She drug out the 'so', making it sound like: suh oh.

She blinked up at me, and I realized again how close we were.

My lips were only a few inches from hers.

I lowered my head, straining to tighten the last few strands of self control I had.

"Yes, it is."

At least, that's what I started to say.

She pressed her lips gently to mine.

I broke.

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