I stand in my alchemy class, waiting for the bell to ring, and the class to begin.
Yesterday was quite the interesting day, maybe a little more than just interesting. It was a very, very, eventful day. Revisiting The Big Caves allowed me to really come to terms with what happened. Attempting and succeeding at a new form of magic was definitely exhilarating. I also was a bit let down that I didn't have a chance to talk with Bruno, but being able to get back together with not only Lotte, but Sucy, was definitely a victory.
I wonder what caused their sudden change of heart in the first place. A day ago, they hated my guts, by then they just suddenly appeared in my room, completely friendly. Whatever happened, I'm just glad it happened. What happened is now in the past, and I can now focus on the present, and dream about the future.
I take a look at the main three, Akko, Lotte, and Sucy. Akko and Sucy are arguing about something, while Lotte has her hands folded in attention, waiting for class to begin. I eye Diana and her group. Hannah and Barbara are gossiping about who knows what, while Diana is standing at attention, also waiting for class to start.
Today will definitely be an interesting day. We have a lab in this class, and in the next we're getting taught by a Mr. Brink from America. I wonder what that'll be like.
The bell rings, and the period begins. Everyone quiets down, as Ms. Finnalin addresses us.
"Good morning class, I trust you used the night of Samhain to your advantage…"
If only you knew, Ms. Finnalin.
"…As I informed you earlier, today we will begin a lab that will allow you to create Magicus Synthesis. Now, does anyone remember what that is?" She asks.
A few students raise their hands, including Diana. I'm not thought. I remember what it is, but being the center of attention has never been my forte.
Unsurprisingly, Ms. Finnalin chooses the blonde.
"Magicus Synthesis is a potion that will allow you to use magic even when you're out of range of The Sorcerer's Stone." Diana answers.
"Very good, Diana." The teacher responds, smiling.
Once her praise is over, Ms. Finnalin speaks to the class as a whole.
"Now, I hope that everyone in your group is here today, as this will only work when your hearts harmonize as one."
That's a problem.
I raise my hand, getting the teacher's attention.
"But Ms. Finnalin, I don't have a group. What should I do?"
She looks at me surprised, as if she forgot that I didn't have dorm mates. She puts a hand to her chin, thinking.
"Hmmm, well Magicus Synthesis only works when you do it with people you trust, not necessarily dorm mates…"
She thinks a little more.
"Get in a group of students that you have good relations with, as well as trust. I see no reason why that shouldn't work."
I nod to her, and scan the room. The only two groups that fit this description are Diana's and Akko's. However, the only one in Diana's group that I rust would be, well, Diana. I hardly know Hannah or Barbra. In contrast, I know and just about trust everyone in Akko's group. Okay, Akko's it is.
I walk over to her group, taking a spot by the table next to Lotte. The Finn smiles at my arrival, while Sucy nods in acknowledgement.
"Yeah, good choice!" Akko declares, giving me a thumbs up, accompanied by a wink.
Ms. Finnalin nods at my choice, before turning back to the class.
"Now, let us turn our textbooks to page 105 for the instructions."
The crisp noise of pages turning sound throughout the class, as each group obeys Ms. Finnalin's orders. I open the book at our table, turning to the page. It's titled 'The Construction and Creation of Magicus Synthesis'. Beneath the title are many steps, several sentences long. A bit intimidating.
I feel like yesterday, if anything, was a great introduction to Necromancy. The spell for yesterday was hard, but at least I had Diana to help me. And who do I have for assistance now? Akko, Lotte, and Sucy. I'm not sure how well Akko will do. I remember the time she told me that she tried to make a love potion, but all it did was turn the drinker into an eel. Who was that for, anyway? Lotte, I feel, would at least try and actually commit, but I'm not sure if her knowledge of alchemy can match up. And Sucy? Her skill isn't the issue, getting her involved is. Especially while those two are still arguing. It's a good thing we have Ms. Finnalin to guide us through.
"Now, the supplies we need are Cupid's Claw, Monday Moss, Saint John's Wort, and a pint of Goat Hair."
Who comes up with these names?
"All of these ingredients are on the shelves over there." She points to the wooden shelves hugging the wall. "I'll give you five minutes."
With that, a handful of students make their way to the shelves, gathering the ingredients in question. I eye the girls. Akko and Sucy are still arguing while Lotte stares at me with potential participation.
"Do you mind helping me get the supplies? It'll be a bit hard on my own."
She nods at me, smiling.
"Of course not."
Together, we both walk to the shelves housing the alchemical ingredients. I take a bottle in hand, reading the label: Brink Essence. Another weird name, but not one of the weird names we're looking for.
"Hey, I found two." Lotte declares.
Sure enough, she's holding two bottles, one labeled Cupid's Claw, the other labeled Monday Moss.
I nod to her, turning back to the shelves. A few glances later, and I'm holding a pint of Goat Hair, and Saint John's Wort. We both walk back to our group, placing our items on the table. Sure enough, those two are still arguing about something. After a few minutes of waiting for everyone else, Ms. Finnalin continues with her instructions.
"Now that you've acquired the necessary ingredients, please empty the pint of Goat Hair into the flask."
I take the cone shaped cup, setting it onto a stand over the burner, while Lotte pours the Goat Hair into it, Akko and Sucy still arguing. A few seconds pass, and Ms. Finnalin gives her next set of instructions.
"Add the remaining ingredients into the beaker."
A few seconds pass, and her request is granted. The once brown brew now bears a pinkish cream color. Akko and Sucy are still arguing. Very annoying.
"Now, light the burner and add the item of importance you've brought. I'll give you some time to do this. I'll grade papers in the meantime."
Ms. Finnalin then sits back down at her desk, leaving the rest up to us. I go to crank on the burner, only to be halted as I hear a bit of their argument.
"Nuh uh! No way! I am!" Akko protests.
"I doubt it…" Sucy mutters
Slightly annoyed, I sigh to myself.
"Just what are you two arguing about?" I ask.
Akko looks at me with a slightly angered but determined face.
"We're arguing about which one of us is the cutest! I clearly am! I mean, Sucy's practically dripping with slim!" Akko states, fiercely pointing at the Filipino.
"Some guys like that." Sucy retorts.
"They've been arguing about this all morning." Lotte adds.
"I'm way cuter than her!" Akko continues. "I'm like a Teddy Bear, all warm and soft…" She emphasizes this point by hugging herself, happily humming a tune through her smile.
"You agree with me, right Ted?"
I falter, uncomfortably scratching my head.
"Well, you…um…"
Seeing that I won't give in easily, Akko goes to plan B, giving me the puppy dog eyes accompanied by a jutting, trembling lip.
I turn my gaze to Sucy, seeking escape from this question. She stares back blankly.
"Well?" She questions.
I forcefully look away, back down at the burner, turning it on. In an instance, the fire puffs out, already beginning to boil the brew.
"So, uh, what item did you bring, Sucy?" I ask, changing the subject.
Sucy lets out a wicked chuckle similar to a TV villain, before saying
"Finally, the long desired doors will open. Poison is remedy, and remedy is poison."
She pulls out a mushroom that looks like no other. It's bigger than most, about a meter long. The head of the mushroom itself is a shade of light red with small crystal-like objects sprinkled around. An abnormal mushroom for an abnormal girl.
"The one and only, Fungus Magicus!" She declares, sniffing it affectionately, and letting out a happy sigh that seems to melt her entire being.
Akko suddenly presses herself against the mushroom maniac, ruining Sucy's happy moment.
"No, stop! That's not cute at all." Akko complains, waving her hand around in protest.
I don't know, maybe a little.
"Girls, no fighting today." Lotte intervenes. "Remember, Magicus Synthesis only works when we're all on the same page."
"But Sucy was going to put a poisonous mushroom into our kettle!" Akko explains.
"Then what exactly did you bring, Akko?" Sucy asks, her tone implying that she's anything but interested.
"Ta-da!" Akko declares, proudly holding her item.
It's not really an item per se, but a living creature. It's small, with green skin, besides its face, which is a light yellow color. It also has big pointy ears, and what looks like a giant three leaf clover growing out of its head.
"It's the fairy of good luck, Brownie! That's what our spell needs!" Akko explains.
"So tell us, where did you get that thing?" Sucy asks.
"I happened to find it in the forest." Akko claims.
Sucy reaches out, pinching its cheek with curiosity.
"Is it really a Brownie? It might be a goblin."
Hurt by her friend's doubt, Akko quickly pulls the thing out of Sucy's grasp, its cheek snapping back like a rubber band.
"Ah, and your poisonous mushroom is okay?!" Akko shouts.
Poor thing, having to be in the middle of this.
"You know, poison can also function as remedy." Sucy informs her, shoving her mushroom against the possible goblin.
"Huh?! Don't you remember when we couldn't stop sweating for hours after taking your mushrooms?!" Akko recalls, sweat beads practically forming on her forehead from recollection.
"Hey, stop fighting." Lotte urges the two.
"It's poison!" Akko argues.
"It's remedy." Sucy persists.
"Poison!"
I turn away from their feud, pretending not to notice, as I gaze around the class. Once those two are at each other's throats, it's hard to pull them back. Besides, they'll make up in the next few minutes anyway, so why bother?
I hear Akko cry out in pain, followed by a splash.
Thinking that Sucy decked Akko, I turn back around. No such thing has happened. However, both of Akko's and Sucy's hands are empty. What happened to their items?
"Well, it's in the kettle." Sucy mutters, sounding rather defeated.
The kettle itself begins to violently bubble out a pink liquid, as it quickly overflows, splashing onto the table. The whole class begins to take notice, some even leaving their table to get a better look.
"Hey, are you saying it's my fault?!" Akko demands, not noticing.
"Usually it is." Sucy replies, also not noticing.
"Uh, something's not right here." Lotte nervously informs them.
No kidding, something's definitely wrong. I've got a bad feeling about this.
Ms. Finnalin appears behind Akko, arms folded in annoyance.
"You four, what are you doing?!"
The brew suddenly and violently erupts into a volcano of purple steam, the sheer force blowing off the surrounding students' hats.
The room fills full with the mist, as everyone collectively coughs harshly. I, as well, feel the chemical cloud burning my throat, as my eyes sting, and eventually water. I let out a cough, rubbing my sore throat. What is this?! How could a school lab go so wrong?!
As quickly as it comes, the mist begins to part, revealing a giant mushroom monster. Its eyes glow green, as its teeth are jagged sharp, perfect for tearing flesh.
It lets out a threatening roar, as everyone screams in panic. I back up cautiously, as the thing begins to waddle towards the other students. Come on, don't be scared! You fought a Roman god! A little mushroom monster is nothing!
Seeing my chance, I pull out my wand, preparing a destruction spell. A small ball of blue lightning begins to form at the tip of my wand, as I raise it up at the thing.
"Whoa! We're going to hit the ceiling!" I hear Akko cry from above.
Looking up, I see not only Akko, but Sucy, and Lotte stuck on top of that thing! How in the seven hills did they get up there?! Upon closer inspection, their whole bodies are stuffed inside of the mushroom's head, as their own heads poke out. I cancel my spell. I can't risk hurting them.
The underside of the mushroom's head breaks open, releasing purple spores into the air. It completely blankets the entire room, causing everyone to engage in another coughing fit. I feel my body give out, as I slump to the floor. I uncontrollably begin laughing. I can't stop, only constant laughter. Between the mist and my own laughs, I spot the other students. They're either passed out, or joining me in my guffaw. I chuckle to myself for what seems like forever, until I eventually black out.
"Ein Ein Sof!"
"Ein Sof Ohr!"
"Luna Lana!"
A massive explosion, and a blinding light comes and leaves in an instance. Slowly, but surely the draining sleepiness fades from my body. I blink a few times, as I sit up against one of the tables. Tiredly, I yawn into my hand, as I fully become aware of my surroundings.
The other students are also beginning to wake up. The mushroom monster is gone, the main three are strangely enough lying on top of one another on our work table, all the while Diana is being praised by Ms. Finnalin.
"Excellent work, Diana. No wonder everyone says that you're the best student in the school's entire history."
What did she do to earn such words? Taking out the monster no less, but how? Did she destroy it like I was going to do, or perhaps something else?
"Great job, Diana!" Hannah declares, taking her position at Diana's side.
"You're the pride of Luna Nova!" Barbra adds, joining her friends.
A flood of compliments, cheers, and clapping emerge from the students. A combination of yips, yays, huzzahs, and hurrahs fill the classroom, directed at their savior.
Despite all this celebrating, I can't help but feel slight contempt. Can't I ever get any credit around here? I'm the one who fought and bested a Roman god, I'm the one who brought someone back to life. I did so much in so little time, and yet I get nothing. Where's my triumph? The crowd is easy to sway, but it's impossible to convince them about my adventures. It's a selfish though, I know that. But, it's still how I feel.
"Oh please stop, that was nothing." Diana humbly requests.
"Oh no, Luna Lana is the most difficult synthesizing spell." Ms. Finnalin explains. "No other student has ever been able to use it. Your soul must be in complete harmony in order to cast it. Someone who doesn't have self control-"
"Can never use it." Diana states, all the while analyzing the main three, now arguing and bickering amongst themselves.
In annoyance, Diana lightly sighs to herself.
Ms. Finnalin drops her smile, directing her new found anger onto Akko, Lotte, and Sucy.
"As for you three, you clearly lack in self control! A witch who cannot keep her emotions in check will never be able to advance far. Come with me to the principal's office!"
"I-uh-what?!" Akko chokes out, falling from the table in shock.
The remaining two stand up, while Lotte pulls Akko of the ground. Once on her feet, Akko immediately protests the teacher's command.
"But, Ms. Finnalin-"
"No buts! Now!"
Akko shrinks back in fear, and honestly, I don't blame her. The look on Ms. Finnalin's face, I have never seen her like this. She's the type of teacher to get easily annoyed at the underachieving students, but real anger? That's unheard of.
Seeing that Akko is out of options, she shamefully walks to the door where Ms. Finnalin is. Lotte follows, a tint of red embarrassment lining her face, while Sucy utilizes her standard stride. The three witches approach the teacher like lambs to the slaughter.
I can see how Akko and Sucy deserve punishment, but why Lotte? She was only trying to calm the storm. I guess in this school when someone gets in trouble, the whole group pays for it. That would explain why Lotte is always in detention with the other two. I'm glad I'm in a group of my own, not being dragged down by other's mistakes.
As the three walk out the door, the teacher looks back at her class.
"The bell will ring in a few minutes, so clean up your workstations while I'm gone. Oh, and Theodore?"
My whole body freezes, as she acknowledges me.
"I trust that you weren't apart of this incident."
I wasn't. My back was turned, and I really didn't add any friction. All I did was try to complete the lab. Perhaps I could've prevented it, stepped in and be the peacekeeper. No, that's Lotte's job. There's no reason for me to damage my record, and join those three in punishment.
"No Ms. Finnalin, I was not."
She nods at my claim, pushing the three into the hallway, and shutting the door.
As per Ms. Finnalin's request, everyone shakes off what just transpired, and begins to clean up their work station.
I examine Akko's table. It's a complete mess after what happened. The once bubbling brew is now completely spilled out on the floor, as pieces of broken glass litter the ground.
I take a knee, picking up a few shards with my one good hand. I carefully push the pieces into a small pile, preparing to dispose of them. As I pick up another shard, I hear someone approach me from behind.
"You'd better be careful Theodore. I'd hate for you to cut yourself up even more."
I look up at the figure.
"It'll just toughen me up, Diana." I jokingly reply.
"Even so, your method of cleaning is dangerous and time consuming, especially considering you're all by yourself."
I admit, sliding my hands around sharp glass is definitely not ideal.
"What's your recommended method?"
"Stand back." She requests.
I drop the glass, and stand by her side.
She kneels down, taking out a bottle, and begins sprinkling flakes of some shiny blue powder onto the glass. She stands back up, and casually waves her wand around in a circle, saying
"Sosomme Tidiare!"
Instantly, the blue powder becomes a misty substance, seeping through the cracks of the glass, pulling everything together, as it burns off into the air.
I kneel down, curiously analyzing the mended objects. Sure enough, the test tube and kettle are restored to their former glory. With no other signs of damage, I set the objects back down in the table.
This is a useful spell. A useful spell that I don't know.
"Diana, you must teach me that spell." I request.
She smiles at my drive to learn more.
"Very well. Take out your wand, and try to recreate what I did."
I pull out my wand, stopping as I notice her on the move. She walks over to Akko's table, knocking over the recently restored bottle. Shattered glass litters the tile once more. A few students notice, but eventually return back to their own cleaning duties.
"There, now you have no room for failure." Diana explains.
Diana purposely damaging school property? Akko accidentally summoning a giant mushroom monster? This day has gone in many ways that not even a psychic could foresee! I better clean this up before someone gets the wrong idea.
Diana sprinkles the dust onto the object once more. I begin swirling my wand around, reciting the incantation.
"Sosom-"
"Wait just a second." Diana interrupts.
I look back at her, confused.
She analyzes me for a few more seconds. Finally, she comes to a conclusion.
"Your stance in wrong. Your back needs to be more straight, and your arm motions are flawed."
I shift my position, straightening my back, swirling my arm at a faster speed.
"Like this?" I ask.
She shakes her head, moving closer to me.
"Like this."
With one hand, she pushes my back straight, and with another she grabs my arm. Her hold is secure, yet soft. I can feel her warmth even through the sleeve of my uniform.
"Is this alright?" She asks.
A girl such as Diana centimeters from me? Touching me? Even if it's just for the lesson…
"Oh yeah." I reply.
I think my Italian is acting up.
With my approval, she begins moving my arm, slowly in a clockwise motion.
"Try it now." She urges me, her warm breath brushing against my neck.
I feel a slight shiver go up my spine. Oh mamma mia.
With my wand already spinning in the correct manner, I repeat the spell.
"Sosomme Tidiare!"
Just like before, the blue dust consumes the damaged parts, burning off into the atmosphere, revealing one whole object.
I pick up the bottle, and put it back on the table, all the while hoping it stays whole.
This was enjoyable for reasons I'll never disclose. Learning a new spell of course, but it had an added bonus. I wouldn't mind going through this again. I turn to Diana.
"Do you-"
The bell rings, ending the period.
"Well, that ends this mess." Diana states. "I hope next period will make up for this landslide those three created."
"Yeah, I'll say!" Hannah declares, appearing by Diana's side.
"You're so right, Diana!" Barbara declares, joining her friend.
Diana raises a hand in protest.
"Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let us instead go to our class."
With no Akko, Lotte, or Sucy, I decide to walk with these three.
All four of us exit the class, walking through the hallway, to our mutual class. Barbra takes note of this.
"Well, looks like the boy thinks he belongs with us beauties!"
"It's because his friends are losers!" Hannah declares, laughing.
"Yeah, Ms. Finnalin's really going to lay into them this time! Right Diana?"
All three of us look at the blonde, seeking her opinion. She continues to look forward, as she strides to class.
"I hope that whatever punishment Ms. Finnalin has in mind will correct her behavior. Honestly, that girl can be quite facetious."
Facetious?
"I'm not sure I learned that word." I admit.
This time, she looks at me.
"It means treating serious issues with deliberate inappropriate humor."
Yeah, that can be Akko sometimes. Although, that's not inherently a bad thing, lightening the mood and all.
"Wow, you didn't know what that word meant? Ha! Guess you've been hanging out with the misfits for too long!" Barbara declares, laughing at me.
These two are really trying me.
"Well, English isn't my first language." I reveal, a slight edge in my voice.
"Then what is?" Hannah asks, not noticing.
"Italian."
Once the two lackeys hear this news, their mood drastically changes. The two put their hands on their cheeks in ecstasy, their lips trembling, as their eyes quiver with delight. What did I just start?
"Oh, you're Italian? Do you have any brothers?" Hannah gleefully asks.
"Yeah! Any cute ones?" Barbara adds.
"I have a sister…and a brother." I answer back.
The two girls let out a high pitched squeal, full of excitement, full of life.
"Is he cute?' Hannah asks.
"What's he look like?" Barbara questions.
I put a finger to my chin, thinking. It's been awhile since I've seen him.
"He has reddish brown hair-"
"So dreamy!" They both exclaim.
"What's he like?" Hannah asks.
"He's like a stereotypical Italian, cheerful and energetic."
"So, the exact opposite of you." Hannah remarks.
"Well, he-"
"Oh man, he sounds so dreamy!" Barbara declares, interrupting me. "I just want to grab his-"
"Girls!" Diana interrupts. "A proper lady must practice restraint."
"You're so right, Diana." Hannah says, letting out an embarrassed chuckle.
"Yeah, we're sorry." Barbara says, backing her up.
I doubt that apology was sincere. Whatever, at least we finally made it.
All four of us walk into class, taking our positions at our assigned seats. I turn around to where Akko and Lotte would've been. Both seats are empty. They're still not back yet.
I can't blame the teacher. Almost killing the class, whether it was on purpose or by mistake, deserves a rather harsh punishment. I hope that Diana is right, and this might correct Akko's behavior. Akko's a good friend, but a bad student.
I face the front, noticing that no one is at the teacher's desk. Ms. Europa is gone, but shouldn't this Mr. Brink be here by now?
Oh well, I guess substitute teachers are always late to class. He's probably going to be just another one. He'll hand us a worksheet, and be done with us until the bell rings. Nothing special. But then again, there's this.
I pull out 'The Brink of Salvation' from my satchel. This man clearly has certain points of view that make him stand out from really anyone I've ever met. I open the book to my current position. I guess a little late research while I wait couldn't hurt.
'Children, I have made several different claims concerning the inferior species known as Europeans. However, this species cannot be taken in as a whole, and must be divided into their various races. I have done it, my loyal flock. I have made a list concerning the top ten European ethnicities.
10. Spanish/Greek: Lazy and poor, nuff said!
9. Russian/Chinese: These two subspecies are in the same tier simply because they follow the same codes: Communism, quantity over quality, and taking human wave tactics to a whole other level. They are also the most brittle race. For example, in a battle against the Germans, the Soviets lost fifty-seven trillion men, while the Germans lost only a hundred million. The Russians are also single handedly responsible for starting The Cold War, which resulted in the deaths of sixty-nine sextillion Europeans. Also, China's Great Leap Forward? Ha, more like The Great Leap Backwards!
8. French: this subspecies leaves a bad taste in my mouth like no other. If this list was based on my personal experiences, and not facts, the French would be ranked dead last. But why? Well, their history of course! We attained our great country by simply settling and homesteading our god given land, in an attempt to spread our culture from sea to shining sea. After our American Evolutionary War, the French copied us with 'The French Evolution'. They tried to achieve the right to call themselves equal to the racially superior Americans. They threw trillions to the guillotine, hoping to purge the European out of them. However, you can never deny who you truly are, and what they truly are is inferior. While Italians are Benedict Arnolds, the French are compulsive liars. They promised the Polish they would back them up in the second war of European aggression. They did not, deciding not to die for Danzig. Along with the regular human wave tactics, they can also defend like no other European. They stacked thirty-three billion of their own to defend their border with Germany. However, the Germans simply flanked around it, capturing Paris in two hours.
7. Italians: The culinary masters of Europe, which isn't saying much. These people have several fight or flight responses that set them apart from all the other European races. For example, when in great distress, an Italian-European can run at eighty miles per minute, hopefully out running any would be predator. Also, they have naturally made armor, almost like the exoskeleton of a bug. Their huge nose, which can extend to a maximum of thirty-seven feet, can deflect even the hardiest of American punches. However, they can only absorb a maximum of three punches before completely shattering, killing the Italian instantly, like a bee losing its stinger. They are also shown to be compulsive traitors, switching sides wherever they gain the most.
6. Japanese: Japan, the home of haikus, cherry blossoms, samurai, and anime. They have scored low on this list because of one reason: They attempted to attack America, simply because they were jealous of our freedom and stuff. But what stops them from ranking dead last is the fact that they had the balls to strike the most perfect nation on Earth. Thus, we can mark them down as brave fools. Nowadays, anime is poisoning the minds of millions of Americans, filling their brains with venom. Those who watch anime are secret sleeper agents for Japan.
5. Filipino: Ah yes, the Mexican-Europeans of Asia. The reason why they're scored on the halfway mark is because of their hypocritical history. In the beginning, the Philippines was actually apart of mainland Asia. Britain was not the only state that wanted to leave their cement prison. Spain also wished for a life where greenery was abundant. They decided the perfect spot for their vacation home would be the Philippines. Being enslaved by their fellow Europeans, the Filipinos screamed across the Pacific Ocean for some good old American foreign aid. After that war, we wanted to incorporate them into our influence, to show them the true way of living, the American way of living. They protested, but we held on, hoping to give them a life worth living. They threw millions of tantrums that were nationwide, so much so that their tears created massive floods. These floods separated them from the mainland. Thus the Philippine Islands were born.
4. German: The second most American of the European country. From their looks, they are the average European. However, it's their brain that shows their edge over other Europeans. In European wars, every state's battle plan is the same. They simply smash their soldiers into the enemy lines, almost like a human wave tactic. However, the Germans can go around, flank, and attack from behind, unfortunately, this tactic is their only tactic, and can backfire quite dramatically. From example, during D-Day, when the ten brave Americans landed on the beach, they faced fifty million German soldiers. The Germans did their grand flanking maneuver, going around the Americans, poised to strike their backside. However, all the Germans drowned in the ocean, leaving the American soldiers with the victory.
3. British: The most American-like of those who inhabit the country of Europe. But why? Well children, it all goes back to the sixteenth hundreds. Just like now, many people came to this glorious country of America for a better life. Once the tea drinkers told us that they were from the barren concrete wasteland known as Europe, how could we refuse? We gave them control of the Eastern Seaboard, however they soon took advantage of our kindness. After a five minute war, thirty trillion British-Europeans were dead, while America suffered only one casualty. This casualty was a 104 year old American, who was outnumbered by six billion. This conflict is now known as The American Evolutionary War. This is because we had to evolve our policies when dealing with the European menace.
2. Injuns: This group of Europeans has a hazy history. Not even us superior Americans are really sure what they are. However, American historians have agreed on a few statements. In twenty-two billion B.B. (Before Brink) the Injuns swam from Communist China in search of a better life. During this great swim, the Injun population fell from seventy-three trillion to eighty-nine billion. To compensate them for this loss of life, we gave them everything west of The Mississippi River. During The American Evolutionary War, we needed the raw resources of the west to combat the European threat. Ten years later, the Injun population fell from eighty-nine billion to eleven million. We're not sure why, but it's theorized that after we told them of our idea to retake our core states, the vast majority died from heart attacks.
1. Canadian/Mexican: Our neighbors, the Europeans who have had the grand influence of Americanism for the last ten thousand years. You can tell that both of these European subspecies have adopted American values just by looking at them. Mexicans have the body of Americans, but the mind of Europeans, while Canadians have the body of Europeans, and the mind of Americans. Both races, while different in many ways, have the exact same composition. Fifty percent European and fifty percent American, or rather fifty percent correct.
So children, there it is. The truth has been told, and my views are final. I hope by this list that I may spread awareness, and inform the world of the European menace. My God-'
My reading is interrupted, as I hear a loud clanking sound coming from the hallway. After a few more bangs, I realize that it's footsteps approaching our classroom. Every student stares at the door, some out of curiosity and some out of fear. The sound gets louder, and louder as whoever's causing it gets closer. The sound stops as it reaches the door. The whole room stops breathing. The squeak of the opening door echoes throughout the classroom.
A man walks in. A man with neatly combed short brown hair, sun tanned skin, a small beard, and glasses. He looks to be in his late forties. This must be Mr. Brink. Wordlessly, he walks to the teacher's desk, placing a stack of papers on it. He looks up at us, the whole room silent. We're all at the edge of our seats, waiting with bated breath.
Suddenly, he lets out a high pitched yelp. It's not out of pain or surprise, but entirely voluntary. He lets out another cry that resembles an electric egg beater held up to a distorted microphone, followed by more squealing, more screeching, and more cries. What's going on?! What is he doing?!
I look around the class, and they're as clueless as me. No one can possibly explain this man's behavior, not even Diana, who's staring at our substitute teacher, an eyebrow raised, her mouth gaping, confusion carved all over her face. Carved, not written. It's that strong of an emotion. Mr. Brink continues to let out more babbled screeches.
"The hell are you doing?!" A student asks.
He stops, looking up at us with the same confusion we were just bearing. He looks completely stumped, as if his whole world crashed around him.
"Y-You speak American?" He whispers.
Whispers arise from us. What does he mean? Speaking American? That's not a language, right?
He hears us whispering amongst ourselves.
"All of you speak American?!" He demands, confusion running thick in every word.
"You mean English?" A student asks.
"No, American." He firmly answers.
Is this guy serious? I find it hard to believe that a reputable school like Luna Nova would let a guy like this teach. But then again, this whole day, no, this whole year, has been pretty unbelievable.
"I was speaking European." He continues. "But, I'm surprised that you feeble Europeans can speak fluent American, and at such a young age too!"
Another student raises her hand, saying
"But I'm not European, I was born in South Korea."
"South Korean European." Mr. Brink states, his tone of voice sounding like he's correcting her.
The South Korean European student is left entirely appalled, as the bell rings, beginning class.
"Okay then children…" Mr. Brink begins, returning to his calm state that he entered the room with. "…Now that class has started-"
"Wait? What? School's over?" The South Korean European innocently asks, standing out of her seat.
We all stare at her confused, Mr. Brink looking the most puzzled by the young witch's behavior. Is this girl serious? We've been attending the same class, during the same period, for months now, and yet she asks this? I swear, today's going to be a weird day, it already is.
"What?" Mr. Brink asks, confused. "That was the bell to start-"
"Dude, school's over!" She exclaims passionately to the person next to her, walking out of the seating area, and to the door.
That person accompanies her, smiling like no other. A friend perhaps?
"Party at Kevin's house!" Her friend shouts, overloaded with joy.
They both leave class, and enter the hallway, out of sight.
'Shake your tail, cause we're here to have a party tonight!" One of them exclaims, her voice echoing throughout the halls.
After that, we all just stare blankly at the door. Confusion runs thick in the room. No one, not even Mr. Brink, can explain these current events. None of this makes sense. It's like nothing that I've ever experience before. Sure, this school year has had a lot of difficulties and struggles, but at least those were straight forward. This…this is something different. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone!
Mr. Brink sighs a defeated sigh, and plops down in the teacher's chair. He takes off his glasses, and pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks as though he has just failed as a father, rather than being a teacher with a few unusual students. He sits like this for some time, all the while muttering under his breath. The only phrase I can make out being
"Fucking Europeans…"
"Mr. Brink?" I hear coming from Diana, her hand raised in question.
"What?!" He groans, still annoyed by what transpired.
Unfazed, Diana responds.
"Despite this strange turn of events, I believe it would be best if you continue class as normal."
His annoyance turns to rage, as he begins to rant.
"Idiots of the world unite! Who would've thought that the mighty Mr. Brink would be taking advice from a European?! That'll be the day…it's just too bad it's today…" He mutters out the last part.
"Fine, have it your way. You Europeans always get your way." Mr. Brink claims, pulling out the attendance list.
"Alright…" He reads the first name. "…Helena Bottom-Farter?"
A few chuckles arise from the students. What kind of name is that?
"Helena Bottom-Farter was the confused girl who thought school was over." Diana clarifies.
That's a real name?!
"Okay then." Mr. Brink states. "How about Mary Beth Bethbeth?"
"That was her friend." Diana informs him.
How have I not heard of these people?!
"And you are?" He asks, pointing at her with a pencil.
"Diana Cavendish."
"Ah yes, Deanna Krappenschitz." He mutters, quickly writing it down.
"No." She protests. "Actually, it's Dian-"
"Harry Kameltoh?" He calls out.
"These can't be the right names." I comment.
He looks at the paper, then back at me.
"You must be Mark-Pat Joe-Bill Dinosaur."
What kind of list is this?! Someone must've altered the attendance, a little prank for the new teacher. That's the only explanation.
"No, I'm Theodore Sempronia." I correct him.
Don't say it…
"Ah yes, Theodore Soprano."
Damn it!
He looks at his list again, then back at us. He's only gone through four of us. We still have twenty-six more to go. After realizing that fact, Mr. Brink tosses the attendance paper on his desk, saying
"I'm just going to assume the rest of you aren't here."
Aren't?
He rubs his hands together, inhaling deeply. With new found energy, Mr. Brink exclaims
"Now, let's actually begin class."
It's about time. Let's hope this guy can at least teach us something. If not, then I'll just read the magic history text book, while he rants about our European antics.
He takes the agenda plan left by Ms. Europa. He reads a few lines, all the while muttering what is written.
"Today, you will teach the class about The Gilded Age of Magic, and-"
He stops reading, as he casually throws the agenda over his head, letting it hit the ground below.
"Now class, what is the most powerful magic of all?" He asks, switching to his own lesson plan.
A student raises her hand.
"Friendship?" She asks.
"Well, think about it." Mr. Brink suggests. "If friendship is magic, and magic is devil worship, then is a school shooter the ideal person you want to be?"
Magic is devil worship? That's not the first time I've heard this claim, and it's certainly not the last. These intolerant idiots are the very reason why my family fell. These people are scum.
"Che palle." I mutter under my breath.
As if I yelled, Mr. Brink shoots a glare at me dead in the eyes.
"What did you say to me, boy?!" He demands.
"Uh, n-nothing sir!" I nervously respond.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Fucking, European piece of shit." He mutters.
He looks back at the class.
"No children. The answer is…screaming magic."
What? Screaming magic? I've never heard of it.
"It's simple to understand, but difficult to use." Mr. Brink claims. "Everyone knows that magic is created in the brain, and distributed by the heart, and into the veins. But what most people don't know is that magic has to travel through the jugular vein in order to reach the heart."
He gently rubs his neck with one hand, saying
"AKA, it passes through your throat. You can manipulate it by releasing the magic through one point, kind of like a wand. Like this…"
Mr. Brink gets in front of the teacher's desk, so nothing but our desks can block his path to us. He opens his mouth, inhaling deeply.
Suddenly, he lets it out, a tremendous screech that completely dominates his earlier ones. A strong, foul smelling, hot wind tears through us. We all cover our ears, the shattering screams flying past us. The desks rattle, the books fling away, weightless to his power.
A few lightweight students are knocked down, as others take cover under their desks. The windows crack, as every paper, and loose object flaps around wildly in this man-made hurricane. I grab onto my desk, as even I begin to lose balance.
The wind quickly settles, as the room grows still. It's as if a tornado shredded through the classroom. Papers, pencils, bags, and books are scattered everywhere. A few students that were once seated in the front are now collapsed in the back. For the second time in this class, for the third time today, everyone is stunned in complete shock. My clothes are pressed tightly against my body, while my hair is now a tangled mess. The other students aren't faring any better. Not even the prim and proper Diana is safe from this fashion disaster.
Suddenly, many students begin clapping and whistling, applauding Mr. Brink, and his magic.
"Wow, that was awesome!" Someone cries out.
"You're amazing!" Another comments.
Mr. Brink puts a hand up, quieting the class.
"Yes, yes, I know. You Europeans are always impressed by the littlest things. Now, let's see if you can do it. But, don't tear your vocal cords out in the process! You Europeans are always so frail. Just like when-"
Mr. Brink is silenced by himself. He puts a finger to his chin, thinking.
"Ah yes…" He says. "I remembered what I forgot."
He goes back to the desk, picking up a stack of papers.
"No screaming today, my little Europeans. I was supposed to hand you these papers." He holds them up, reading the names.
"Guy Hutookatit?"
"Ahem." Diana clears her throat, getting the teacher's attention.
"Mr. Brink, I think it would be best if I handed out the papers. I know everyone's name."
Mr. Brink looks down at the papers, then back up at Diana.
"Sure, go ahead. I can't pronounce these European accents anyway."
With confirmation, Diana pulls out her wand. With a flick of the wrist, each paper is magically levitated to its owner. I note that I have three. Mine, Akko's, and Lotte's. I guess Diana wants me to give it to them.
'The paper…" Mr. Brink explains "…Is your schedule for next year. Now's the time for you to fill out what classes you want. It's due at the end of the week. Give it back to your magic history teacher."
I look back down at the paper. Six empty slots for six periods. So, we're supposed to fill out what classes we want for next year? I pull out a pencil, thinking to myself. So, what classes do I want?