Author's Note: Hey this is Dan, and welcome back to Real Cig Review. Well boys, we did it. Thanks to these amazing people joining The Notification Squad, we have gotten past half a hundred, and are on our way to a full hundred.
Naturally, this is due to my avid and loyal followers who have sold their soul to me for the promise of nothing. But, while I can't provide you with any sweet merch, I can respond to your comments.
'If I had known you had shipped Ted X Sucy, I would have shipped it too.'
I really don't ship anyone with anyone. When I watch a show, or read a story I don't focus on every little thing that happens between characters, and subscribe my life to making those two a couple. When I first started writing this story, Theodore was originally going to be with Sucy. But as the story progress, I realized that those two wouldn't be the best match, and decided on another one.
'Nice work!
Been reading since the 19th chapter.
The story is interesting and its honestly the only thing keeping me alive lol.
I have one request,pls ship dianaxtheodhore
One of my favorite ships ever.
Signed
The future president'
Well, you heard it here folks. Not only has my fanfiction saved a life, but it's also loved by the future president. And what do you know, he's a Diana X Theodore guy.
Also, do you boys and girls remember how in the episode where Akko went inside of Sucy's dream world, there were all those different Sucys that the real Sucy was trying to suppress. Remember how in the court scene, one of the Sucys said that all she wanted was a boyfriend? And remember when Akko saved all those Sucys from execution?
Does this mean that Sucy is straight confirmed? Every Sucy pairing is now invalid.
Now, are you guys like me? Have you ever found yourself on the brink of suicide because you couldn't find the Little Witch Academia manga? Well my children, I was doing my daily ritual of reading Sucy's wiki page twenty times a day, when I made a shocking discovery. If you scroll down to the comments' section, somepony posted a link to the manga.
And as the pillar of strength and moral ethics that I am in this fandom, I will give you all my pro reviews for each chapter.
Chapter One: #LennyDidNothingWrong
Chapter Two: Theodore was right next to me reading on, and when the old man grabbed Diana's badonkadonk, he screamed in my ear
"Nobody grabs my woman like that!"
And then I told him to shut up, and that the two of them aren't in a relationship yet. He hung himself, and now his body's beginning to stink. Anyone want it? Just post your address, send a copy of your house key, and tell me when your parents aren't home.
Chapter Three: Who else wants to have a threesome with Sucy's sisters?
Chapter Four: The weakest chapter, seriously there was something fishy about the whole thing
Let me get serious here for a second, my adoring fans. In any fandom, people always love and adore the fanart boys, the fan animators, and even the fanfiction writers. But a part of the fandom that people tend to forget about is probably one of the most important. I'd like to thank the boys, girls, and attack helicopters that have worked a hard and thankless job creating the wiki page. Shout out to Juanito316, who seems to have done the vast majority of the work on the site. Keep up the good work you guys.
In the early hours of the morning, I sit by the table in my dorm room.
Putting it lightly, last night was definitely a night to remember, and then some. After months of preparation, drama, and hype the parade is finally over. Here in a flash, but certainly not gone without a trace.
Sure, watching Akko, Lotte, and Sucy defeat a mighty titan through sheer willpower alone is something unforgettable, but another memory of that night will never leave my mind.
Diana Cavendish signing my cast, not only that, but even decorating it with a little heart.
What could this mean? While the obvious answer would be that she's developed a crush on me, I don't want to jump to any conclusions.
I mean, she's smart, dependable, dare I say, beautiful...
Ugh! What if I'm the one with the crush?!
I remember my very own reaction when Diana grabbed my by the arm, her voice brushing against my neck as she taught me a spell. Then there was when Diana found me in the woods, and provided me with comfort. But that can be dismissed as just a friendly act, nothing romantic there.
But of course, there was what happened yesterday. Her signing my cast with a heart, how she held my hand, us staring at each other. That says something.
I can't say for certain what I'm feeling, and definitely not what she's feeling, but in these months that I've known Diana, I've felt more comfortable with her than most people I've come to know here.
Returning to what I was previously doing, I pick up a pair of scissors, holding it up to my casted, soon to be uncasted, hand.
Well, nurse PagetDaPanda did say that all it needed was to be cut off, no special medical procedures required. Same goes for the bandages on my face, just take it off as it is, like a bandaid.
I begin cutting at the goss, exposing more and more of my right arm.
I stop as I note the pale skin tone, contrasting with my normal light tan. Expected, considering it hasn't been exposed to sunlight in months. It'll come back in a few weeks. I also notice that my casted arm has shrunk in thickness. Also expected, considering I haven't put it to as much use as normal. Like the color, it'll return normal in size eventually.
But what won't return to normalcy is what's stopping me from making these final cuts. I haven't thought about it much, as it's always been out of sight and out of mind. In a few minutes, probably seconds, however, it will embrace the light of day.
I continue snipping away at the cloth, until the wrap has been completed cut down the middle. A bit hesitantly, I unravel the goss from my arm, revealing the final product.
Spreading from my lower fingers to my underarm is light, reddish brown scarred tissue. As it runs down my arm, it breaks into smaller wisps, somewhat resembling the roots of a tree.
It's an ugly imperfection that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, a constant reminder of what took place.
I clench my fingers together in a fist, the leathery skinned fingers lagging behind the normal ones. I open my hand, feeling tension as the damaged skin has lost its elasticity.
At least it's not that noticeable when looking at me face to face. But if someone took a glance from behind, they would get the full picture.
But of course, if someone in the near future was looking at me face to face, they wouldn't worry about my burnt hand, but rather the condition of my face. A condition of which I rather not, but eventually will have to see.
Truth be told, I've postponed this unveiling not because I haven't had the time, but because I'm nervous to see the results for myself.
I have no knowledge to the extent of permanent damage that whip wounds would sustain, magical whip wounds at that. But, it will be something that I will find out soon.
I don't like the feeling of these bandages constantly on my face. It'll be nice to expose them to the fresh air of the outside world.
I hold up a handheld mirror with my recently freed arm, and with the other I grab the end of one of the bandaids.
With one quick action, I tear the bandage off. Without focusing on the mirror, I continue to remove the final bandaid until my face is finally reclaimed.
With all the bandages, from both face and arm, sitting in a pile on my desk, I glance at the mirror, revealing my facial scars.
It's not as noticeable as the burn mark, but it's still clear. A thin, brown line cuts into my skin, running parallel with my left eyebrow. The second and final one runs down my left cheek.
Not as badass as Amanda promised, but at least I can breathe and rest well, finally knowing full well what damage Mendacius inflicted onto me.
So, I have a burn mark running down my right arm, and two scars decorating my face.
Again I ask, how will I explain this to my mother?
With no more need for these bandages, I scoop them up, walking over to the trashcan.
I toss the two butterfly bandages no problem, but as I'm about to throw away the arm bandage, I spot the signature of Diana, completed with the heart.
Well, I just can't put this in the same container as garbage.
Returning to my desk, I grab the pair of scissors. I cut a circle around the signature, freeing it from the rest of the goss.
I place the cloth carefully inside my drawer, closing it. There we go, for safe keeping.
In front of the school, laying on a field of grass, myself and the others watch Akko attempt her flight magic. She's been at it for about two hours now with about as much success as you'd expect.
A stone path leads the way from the school to the nearby town. Often, students walk through here, departing school for their family and Christmas vacation. Akko doesn't notice the occasional witch passing by, casting glances at us. Some look confused by Akko's behavior, while most try to stifle their own laughter. It's a bit embarrassing, but hey, I promised Akko I'd try to help her.
"Did you see me?! Did you see me?!" Akko asks in the same manner an excited child would when showing her dad something.
"Yeah, good job Akko. You managed to jump an extra foot from last time." I say, mustering up fake praise for the aspiring witch.
"You still haven't flown yet." Sucy points out.
"Whatever!" Akko grunts defensively. "You heard Ted, I got an extra foot in the air! That's an extra foot closer to touching the sky!"
"You're just jumping." Amanda declares. "At this rate you'll have crazy strong calves, but nothin' else."
"Maybe you should try something else." Jasminka suggests.
Constanze nods in agreement.
"All of you are mean!" Akko proclaims, hurt in her voice.
"Come on, lighten up." Amanda says, relaxing on the cool grass. "It's all in good fun."
"It's always fun watching Akko squirm." Sucy says to me, smiling.
Akko blows up.
"If I keep going at it, I know I'll succeed one day! I'll fail and I'll fail, but I'll learn and just keep getting better. One day I will be just as good as Chariot!"
"You, Lotte, and Sucy were able to use Luna Lana, the most difficult synthesizing spell." I point out. "I'm sure with practice you'll only get better. Try it again."
"Alright! Check this out!" Akko passionately cries out, returning to her cheerful self.
As Akko continues with her 'broom practice', Amanda looks at me.
"Sucks that Lotte had to leave early." She says.
"At least she gets to see her family for Christmas break." I respond.
"What about you? You're always talking about Rome and family, and stuff. I would've guessed you'd be the first to go home."
That's a fair point.
"I'm not sure. I would've thought they'd try to contact me by now."
Amanda is physically taken back by this.
"Are you saying you haven't spoken with them since school started?!"
I nod.
"Not even writing letters?"
"Not even writing letters."
"Damn." She sighs, leaning back down on the grass. "Even I have kept in touch with the folks. I'll be coming home in a few days."
"You're from America, right?" I ask.
"Uh huh."
"Hey you two." Sucy says from behind us, the slightest tone of excitement in her voice. "Look over there."
Following her pointing finger, we both see what has caused her pleasure.
On the grass near us lays a rose, and on that rose lays something else.
A yellow and black insect with strangely feminine features and a red heart on its giant stinger. It could comfortably fit in the palm of someone's hand. It continues to dig itself into the rose, pollinating it.
"It's a bee." Amanda casually says.
"Not just any bee, a cupid bee." Sucy responds.
I've never heard of that magical creature before.
"What's that?" I ask.
"If you get stung by the bee, you immediately fall in love with the first person you see. The only cure is to crush the bee." Sucy explains, a grin on her face as she does so.
"Sounds like just the thing for you and Diana." Amanda jests, playfully winking at me.
As my thoughts from this morning come back, I feel my face growing warm.
"Diana's great and all, but-"
"Don't try to hide it, Scarface." Sucy joins in. "Amanda told me all about her and your cast."
"Don't call me that. Please, just stick to the nose jokes." I beg.
As Sucy opens her mouth, probably about to tell a nose joke, another voice interrupts us.
"You weren't even watching!"
All three of us turn our direction to the shrill voice.
We see Akko standing before us, tightly gripping her broom, as she grits her teeth in rage. Sweat drips from her brow, implying that she just put a great amount of exertion into her practice, a practice that I wasn't paying attention to.
"Ted's self conscious about his scars." Sucy quickly lies, saving herself from Akko's wrath. "We were just comforting him."
Believing this, Akko's face immediately softens. She looks at me concerned, and says in a soft voice.
"Don't feel like we think any less of you. Look."
Akko takes off a boot and sock, exposing her bare foot. She points to a grayish mark, saying
"It's a scar from falling out of a tree while practicing."
She then points at her thigh.
"This one's from when I fell and tumbled down a hill."
She then holds out her elbow.
"And this one's from falling off my roof."
"Well, you can't fly without a Sorcerer's Stone." Sucy explains. "The energy emitting from the one we have at school is why we can use magic freely."
"I mean, of course I understand that now." Akko claims, putting her boot back on. "But how was I supposed to know when I was a kid?"
"Well, you could've looked it up." Amanda rationalizes.
"And what is that supposed to mean?!" Akko demands, shoving her face close to Amanda's.
"You always jump into things, and never stop to think. Face it, your head is as empty as the sky that you'll never touch."
Oh Lotte, if only you were here right now. This argument would've never escalated this far.
Unnerved and visibly hurt by that sick roast, Akko grinds her teeth, fists tightly balled, faced red with anger, about to explode under her rapidly inflating rage.
"Mails here!" Something calls out, breaking the tension.
The anger and chatter stops, as we all turn to the creator of this silence.
One of the school elfs has its arm extended, a burlap sack tightly clenched in its little blue fist.
"Oh, thank you." Akko says, taking the bag.
With its job done, the elf walks away, probably to give more mail to the other witches.
Akko sits the sack on the grass before opening it up, peeking inside.
"Oh wow, it's a bunch of letters!" She exclaims, holding out a wad of them.
Akko looks through them, saying
"We've got one for Amanda, Constanze, Jasminka, Sucy, Ted, and myself." She says, uttering each name as she passes it to the owner.
"Alright, a letter from the folks!" Amanda declares, opening her envelope up.
"Mine's also from my family." Jasminka claims.
As I'm about to look over my own, I hear Amanda mutter
"Don't look now Ted, but your girlfriend is over there."
Following her pointed finger, I spot Diana, accompanied by Hannah and Barbara, all three walking the path.
"She's not my girlfriend." I reply.
"Go say hi to her." Amanda recommends. "After all, big boys say hi."
Yeah, I think I'd like to say hi to Diana. It's Christmas Vacation after all, so it's likely that I won't see her again until the second semester begins. Besides, I'm no longer wearing my cast and bandages. She probably wants to see the new me.
I stand up, putting my letter of unknown origins in my satchel.
Looking over at the others, most are busy reading their letters, while Amanda just smirks at me, her ship of Diana and I circumnavigating the globe.
Akko however is glaring at Diana, letter clenched in her hands, as she stares down her self proclaimed rival.
I really don't want to deal with this.
"Just read your letter, Akko." I request.
With a low growl, she eventually obliges, returning to her past activity.
I get up, leaving my companions, and walking in front of Diana and her two friends.
Upon seeing me, Diana smiles. She glances at my face and arm, before saying
"Good morning, Theodore. It seems as though you've had your bandages removed."
I return her smile with my own.
"Yes, I did. I took them off this morning."
Hannah leans over to Barbara, a smirk on her face.
"He should've left them on." She whispers to her friend.
"Yeah, now we can see his gross face." Barbara agrees, nodding and smiling.
My past smile is replaced with a frown.
Honestly, did I do something to those two?
Diana shoots a glare at the two, causing their smiles to disappear as well.
Diana returns her gaze to me, another smile spread across her face.
"Well, scars or no scars, you're still the most attractive guy at this school."
My smile returns as both of us repeat the same activity as yesterday.
We both gaze into each other's eyes, smiling at each other all the while.
Diana, well she definitely is something. Smart, beautiful, and kind, a lady of any man's dream. Perhaps she's the lady of my dreams, as well.
Strangely enough, I feel something move on the back of my neck, accompanied by a faint sort of buzzing.
I inquisitively move my hand to my neck, feeling for the cause of this slight discomfort.
Maybe it's a fly. But a fly in the winter is definitely an anomaly.
A sudden jolt of blinding pain flashes through me.
I lose all control, collapsing to the ground, one hand on my neck, and the other holding myself up.
"Oh my, are you alright?!" Diana cries out in distress.
"Yeah, you gonna die on us, or what?" I hear Hannah apathetically asks.
I try to respond, but all that comes out is a hoarse gasp.
Damn it, what was that?! Did Amanda shoot me with a pellet gun, or something?!
With physical exhaustion, I manage to pull myself back to my feet.
I lose my voice once again, but not because of any confused pain, but because of the angelic being standing in front of me, blinding me with her beauty.
I stare at the specimen before me. Picasso and Michelangelo spent their whole lives creating beauty, but what stands before me now deserves a Renaissance in and of itself.
That heavenly brown hair, and those enchanting eyes...
"Surely you could not be human, but a living depiction of Aphrodite herself." I say passionately to the lady of my dreams.
"What?" Hannah responds, both of her perfectly shaped eyebrows raised in question.
I roughly bump the blonde girl to the side, grabbing hold of the heavenly Hannah's untainted hand.
"I have been indoctrinated under your regime of grace. May I be a demagogue of your divinity?"
"Let go of me, you freak!" She demands, attempting to yank her hand free from my grasp.
I squeeze harder, and with blind emotion, shout
"You are an angel, cast from heaven, for your looks created jealousy even inside of God! I shall strip all other idols from existence, for you are the closest representation of divinity-"
My true feelings come to an end, as Hannah's free hand strikes me across the face.
I'm left in shock, as Hannah grabs her friend, and runs back the way she came.
"No, my love, wait!" I call out.
How could this be?! An angel of light appears before my eyes, only to flee at my confession?! Oh woe is me, can I ever find such a creature outside of her?!
No, she is one of a kind. She is a true rarity that has captured my full attention with nothing but her gazing eyes.
I collapse to the stone floor, staring at the ground in sadness and shame.
"What...was...that?" I hear Diana ask, confusion laced in her voice.
I don't blame her. After all, it's not every day someone finds their soulmate. But when your soul mate doesn't see you as an equal? That's a true sorrow.
"What's going on here?!" I hear Akko demand, her and the others now upon us.
She spots me moping on the ground.
"What did you do to him, Diana?!" Akko demands, throwing herself at the blonde in her self proclaimed avenging.
Amanda grabs her at the last second, holding her back, as Akko continues to struggle, clawing the air, shouting obscenities.
"It was the Cupid Bee." Sucy reveals.
"The what?!" Everyone questions in unison, Akko stopping her attempted assault.
"Long story short, Ted got himself stung by a magic bee. Now he's fallen in love with Hannah." Sucy explains, a faint smirk growing on her face.
A magic bee? No, I've always loved Hannah. It's only now that I've realized it for myself.
"Whaaat?!" Akko cries cries out in confusion.
"Is there any way to reverse it?" Diana pleads.
"Yeah, you just have to crush the bee."
"Alright!" Akko declares, now taking charge. "Sucy and Jasminka, you two stay with Ted. Make sure he doesn't pull anymore Romeo stuff."
"Okay." Jasminka mumbles out through her filled mouth.
Sucy cracks a grin, saying
"Oh, don't you worry. We'll take good care of him."
"Alright." Akko confirms before looking back at the others. "The rest of us find that bee, and kill it!"
As they're about to move out, Diana speaks up.
"I'm going too."
Akko spins around, aggressively answering
"No way, Diana! You'll just get in the way!"
The blonde folds her arms across her chest, saying
"Theodore's my friend as well. In fact, I believe he's more fond of me than you."
"What did you say..." Akko growls, before once again lunging at Diana.
Once again, Amanda holds her back in a full nelson, saying
"Come on Akko, we need all the help we can get. Besides, she's kinda right."
Akko stops struggling, and with a heavy sigh mutters
"Fine, I guess you can come. Just don't get in the way."
"I believe that's my line." Diana poshly postures, joining the group.
After a minute or two of debate, they split up into two groups. Amanda and Diana go one way, while Akko and Constanze go the other.
As they leave me in the hands of Sucy and Jasminka, I hear Akko shout
"Constanze, if you see anything, yell up!"
I spot the silly little short fellow shoot a glare at her incompetent partner.
"Oh yeah, right. I forgot." Akko sheepishly responds.
As they fan out in their groups, I continue to stare at the ground, sadness weighing heavy on my heart.
What's wrong with me? I managed to scare off an beautiful, perfect, flawless angel with my own obsession. True love will always find a way, but why does the way have to hurt so much?
I'm cut off as a pale hand flashes in front of my face.
Looking up, I see Sucy, a hand outstretched, willing to lift me off the ground.
"Come on Ted, let's hook you up with Hannah." Sucy agrees, a smile on her face.
Whether it's a sadistic smirk, or a compassionate smile is hard to tell.
Does it matter? Any suggestions would be much appreciated in my pursuit of passion.
I swear, on this day forth, I shall rule over the very foundation of love itself, and Hannah will be my queen!
"But I thought we were supposed to keep those two apart." Jasminka objects.
Sucy points a thumb at me, saying
"I thought you wanted friends to be happy."
Once Jasminka sees the newfound determination in my eyes, she sighs, muttering
"Okay, fine."
With the okay given, Sucy pulls out her wand, points it to the ground, saying
"uoyekilt'nodI."
A green smoke slowly clouds out of her wand, manifesting into a bubble on the ground.
After a few seconds of the cloud churning, it begins to slowly evaporate away, leaving behind a pair of solid white high heels.
"Hannah is the type of girl that's into fashion. Women like to feel similarity within their partner, they like to be comfortable around their...lover, so put these on."
I pick up the shoes, looking at them hesitantly.
"You want her to be comfortable around you, don't you?" Sucy asks, egging me on.
"More than anything." I answer truthfully.
"Then put on the heels."
Well, if it's for the goddess Hannah, then how could I ever hope to protest, and not even ponder suicide a second later?
I take off my Luna Nova issued boots, strapping on the high heels.
I try to stand up, propping myself up with a nearby bench.
"Oh dear..." I hear Jasminka whisper.
Upon viewing me, Sucy cracks a smile, chuckling with her hand, before saying
"Okay, okay, nice. Now that you've got those on you're relatable to Hannah."
These shoes do feel strange on me. Never before would I think I'd wear this. But of course, never before did I think an angel of love would ever grace me.
"She went that way." Sucy informs me, pointing back towards the school. "Go and bug her. The two of us will stand at a distance watching."
"I don't like this." Jasminka adds.
Ignoring her, I turn back to where Sucy was pointing.
So, Hannah's there?
I feel my heart flutter at the endless possibilities of confession.
Just think, in that building where I've resided for months now, a creature whose beauty could only be described in fables, dwells. Only now have I fully realized this.
True happiness awaits. And thanks to the kindness of Sucy, that dream will come to life sooner than otherwise.
I take my first few steps, struggling all the while.
My legs wobble as the stilts of the shoes make contact with the pavement. Damn these heels, how do girls manage this?
After a few more steps, I slip, falling flat on the ground.
I don't know, maybe these high heels just aren't for me.
I look back at the two girls, an idea of discarding the shoes on my mind.
Through a badly hidden smile, Sucy replies
"The more you work for something, the more valuable it is to you. You think Hannah's valuable, right?"
That's a stupid question.
"She's worth more gold, jewels, and slaves that could ever hope to flow through Rome."
Sucy forces back another laughing session. Biting her lip, she whispers
"Go get her."
With Sucy's approval, I persevere through this pain, pursuing my one true love.
With only a few trips, and a couple of minor falls, I make my way through the path, and back into the school.
After wandering through the empty halls, I enter the field, eyes forever vigilant for this cryptic creature.
I finally spot my love sitting with Barbara on a bench.
Upon viewing her majesty once more, I'm struck in a dead calm. All I can do is gaze upon the beautiful beast that has put a hex on the entire school with a simple flash of her smile. I am a slave to her voice, and a prophet of her features.
"So, you gonna seal the deal, or what?" I hear Sucy ask from behind, her and Jasminka shadowing me from a distance.
"I-I can't move." I reply. "I'm frozen in a trance. The siren Hannah has sealed me away in a trap of love. I'm forever bounded by the idea of her and I. The only thing that scares me more than death is the thought of living my life unfulfilled, without a purpose. And right now my purpose is to swoon the great and honorable Hannah with my own message of our mutual destiny. However, I fear that I may croak, for I cannot bear to approach her directly, in fear of blinding myself with her own brilliance."
Sucy can no longer hold in her laughter, and let's it run wild.
"Dang, I need to record this, or something. You're a real riot!" She gleefully laughs out.
I wonder what she's so guffaw about? True love isn't a laughing matter, you know?
"You've come this far already." Sucy points out, now calmed down back to her standard stoic self. "What about love, and all that other junk you were talking about?"
Still hesitant, the goddess Hannah's influence knows no end on my soul.
Sucy grows a bit impatient by my growing nerves.
"Remember, if all else fails, sing to her. Women like a musical guy. And make it about you, as well. Confidence is a winner."
With this new founded advice, my discouragement is casted aside.
I walk over to the two, my chest puffed out in determination.
She will be mine!
Upon viewing me, they show feeling that resemble anything but friendliness.
"What are you doing here?" Hannah demands.
"And are you wearing high heels?" Barbara questions.
Too many questions! How will I answer them, and still be able to connect the dots to my love. No, remember what Sucy said, 'Confidence is a winner.'
"This spark of passion will soon turn into a burning flame of love. Our intimacy is hot to the touch. But don't worry, I'll protect you from the heat with my embrace."
Unamused at my attempts, Hannah simply says
"Go away, or I'll cry rape."
This isn't going the way I thought.
Remembering Sucy's advice further, I clear my throat, and sing
"I'm the T, to the H, to the E, the O, the D, other O, R, E, and ain't no other body slinging spells like me. I'm Theolicious."
"Edgylicious." I hear Sucy silently sing from her hiding place behind me.
Hannah lets out a deep sigh of angry annoyance, before getting up out of her seat, Barbara following close behind.
Hannah shoves her face close to mine, hands on her hip, and a scowl on her face.
"You're lucky your friends with Diana, or I swear I'd..."
She stops herself, turning her back to me, arms crossed, before saying with malice
"I swear I'd kill you."
Without any further word, the two of them walk off, whispering to themselves all the while.
What is this?! My own concubine wishes nothing but ill will onto me!
Fate has brought our aching hearts together, but it is her herself that desires our separation!
Alas, if only I could express myself to Hannah in such a way that she will be moved by my speech, and cast away all other contacts, living a life full of carefree love and happiness!
I can't hold back my hurting soul any longer, and begin to voice my regrets audibly.
"Oh, my heart! I cannot take it anymore! Why must men and women all around me serve as a constant reminder of what could've been?! Must I forever walk this unfortunate road alone...with no one to share in my miseries?!"
"Here we go. Get the popcorn, Jas." I hear Sucy whisper.
"If my death is what Hannah wants so, then who am I to question God's ultimate creation?!" I continue. "Goodbye cruel world! May my horrible histories remind future generations of the greatest fallacy of all time. True love doesn't exist!"
With all my emotions and energy drained, I collapse to the floor dramatically, waiting for death to come.
"Looks like we finally broke him." Sucy sniggers.
Unamused by Sucy, Jasminka walks over to me, a sad expression on her face.
"Come on, Ted. Get up."
"No!" I refuse. "If my one true love holds no connection to me, then why must I hold connection to this grotesque mass of flesh? Let me die, and my spirit forever watch over Hannah. Maybe then I'll be of some worth to her."
Not being able to bear a friend in such a pitiful state, Jasminka says
"Look, girls like it when you take things slow. You're overwhelming her, try to dial it down a bit."
I sit up, a bit confused by this new advice.
"But Sucy told me-"
"Sucy was just messing with you." She interrupts. "I'm sorry that I didn't stop it. It was a little funny at first, but now I just feel bad."
So that's it? I was just fed false information?
Perhaps then there still might be a chance to revive this fallen heart, and create an equilibrium between our feelings.
I get back up, dusting myself off.
I look back at Jasminka, saying
"Thank you. Maybe now the wounds of my broken heart can heal strong again. If this new advice is all that I need, a second chance at happiness may have been rewarded onto me. My love and I will finally join into one contract. Winter may be upon us, but love is in bloom. All I need is to plant the seed into Hannah's fertile lands, and our happiness will blossom into a mighty meadow, where we will spend our living lives together. This day might not be lost yet."
Jasminka cocks her head to their side in confusion.
"You're welcome...I think." She says, not being to fully grasp my vernacular.
Sucy joins Jasminka's side, saying
"Whether you follow my advice or her's, you're still going to fall flat. I'll just watch the show."
"Yes, a show." I nod, agreeing with her. "A play of forbidden love between two people, a modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. We shall come together in our mutual grievances, striving to forever link our twin souls together. Hopefully neither of us will meet with the same fates of our fictional counterparts."
With this, I guide my heart, as well as my two friends, to where the angel of my dreams ran off to.
We walk back through the school, and to the front.
Thankfully, I spot my everything as well as her friend sitting on the bench once again.
This time, instead of rushing into it with a flurry of emotions, I take my time.
I carefully walk out in front of them, making sure they can spot my movements and track my being.
I move in front of the two. Hannah's past smile is exchanged for a deep scowl.
"This creep again?!" She questions to Barbara. "I wish I had a Bill Clinton rape whistle from InfoWars Store dot com."
"Like, what are you still doing here?" Barbara questions me.
As I'm about to break out into another five hundred word speech, declaring my love for the blessing from above that is sitting before me, I remember Jasminka's advice.
Take it slow, and don't overwhelm her.
I take a knee in front of them, my eyes sparkling with deep emotion as they gaze upon the lovely Hannah.
I feel faint pressure on my cheek, as well as the sounds of many pairs of feet drawing near.
Ignoring these outside disturbances, I extend one hand, reaching out to my future queen.
"Hannah England, would you do me the honor of...becoming my bride?"
As Hannah stands up, I feel my heart skip one, or two, or twenty beats.
Perhaps the time for our courtship is finally here. We will be forever entwined in our own consumption of each other's love. I can already hear our wedding bells tolling to the sounds of angels. I wonder, who will be my best man?
The dreams about our future together is ended, as Hannah once again strikes me across the face, this time with so much force that I fall to the ground.
Dazed and confused, I rub the recently abused area.
What the hell just happened?
Sitting back up, I see Hannah rubbing her hand onto her shirt, declaring in disgust
"Ewww, I've got bug guts on my hand!"
What is she on about now?
Looking in the direction of the footsteps, I spot Diana, Constanze, Amanda, and Akko.
Diana walks over to me, holding out her hand to me.
I grab it, and she pulls me to my feet.
Diana immediately wraps her arms around me in a hug, whispering happily
"Thank goodness you're back. I was afraid we'd lose sight of that bee, and you'd be forever cursed."
Well, this is fairly sudden. But still, I'm not going to argue against a hug from Diana.
"So, you're not under the love spell?" Akko cautiously asks.
"I doubt he is." Amanda answers. "He's not slobbering over Hannah anymore."
Constanze nods at this.
Sucy and Jasminka emerge from their hiding places, joining us.
"Wait, what the hell is going on?!" Hannah screams, the confusion running deep.
Diana lets go of me, directing her attention to her two friends.
"Girls, please come with me, and let me explain the cause of Theodore's...abrupt emotions."
The three of them, Diana, Hannah, and Barbara leave the scene, probably moving to their dorm, where Diana can fully explain the previous situation.
"Hey Ted, I think you dropped this." Akko claims, picking up my letter and handing it to me.
It must've fallen out when Hannah smacked me.
That woman, I can't believe that I fell in love with her, even if I was under magical influence.
"So, who's it from, anyway?" Amanda asks, as I look it over.
The family's name, as well as the place of origin, is all too familiar.
It's been months since I've heard word of them. I truthfully thought the silence would remain until my graduation, and eventual return. To see this now is only a surprise to me.
"It's a...it's a letter from my family back in Italy."
Without any wasted time, I impatiently tear open the envelope.
"Jeez, calm down." Amanda comments. "You might just rip apart the letter."
Ignoring her, I take up the paper, naturally written in Italian.
The envelope also contains not one but two plane tickets, both set for Rome.
Two? Why two? Perhaps this letter will shed light on this recent inquiry.
'To our child Theodore:
Much time has passed since we've spoken. Not a letter has been sent by you, nor us.
We can say with confirmation that the whole family: mother, father, grandpa, your older brother and eldest sister, are all doing well. The events that have befallen us these past few months are the status quo of the Sempronia household.
We trust that the nature of your absence updates have been due to the devotion and focus that a magical academia requires.
However, as Yuletide draws near, the call of return cannot go unanswered. On this break between the years, we request your immediate return to Rome for the holiday.
Due to the continual pleas of your older brother Feliciano, he would very much like to meet one of your new acquaintances that you've come to know at the school.
This is the nature of the multiple plane tickets that should be in your possession.
Naturally, this act was not committed on his request alone. As you know, money has been forever a finite resource for the Sempronias.
However, we are also intrigued to see who you've chosen for companionship, if any at all. The ties of friendship have historically never come easily to you, and we're interested to see what this new school, in an objectively lesser country than that of Italy, has to offer.
Your native friend is also in high spirits due to your return, and will visit Rome from her household in Anzio for the occasion.
We hope that you shall take up the reins of this request.
Signed
Padre, Madre, e Nonno Roma'