Disclaimer: Anything you recognize, unless it's an original from one of my other stories, does not belong to me.

A/N: I'm so, so sorry about how long this update has been! But you can totally blame the fact that my hard disk crashed… long, long story. Anyway, this is the third time I've written this chapter, and I kind of like it, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Sorry again!

Kiss of the Traitor

Chapter Eight: Desperation

Breakfast was a rather awkward affair.

Never mind the fact that Hermione had woken in Harry's arms, feeling ill and drained but much warmer and rather happier than she had in a long time. Never mind that they had woken and been unsure of what to say to each other, after the whole unspoken "I love you but can't trust you and hence we can never be together" episode of the previous night. Never mind that they'd left the room together, Hermione to go and change, and Ron had seen them and started to grin before Harry had silenced him with a warning look. And never mind that they were all now sitting at the breakfast table and drinking orange juice with the meat pies and treacle tart Mrs. Weasley had sent over.

As Hermione had walked into her room to change, she had heard Ron turn to Harry and demand: "All right, what happened last night, Harry? What did you do?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry had answered brusquely but quietly.

There was a pause, and then Ron said in a strangely understanding voice: "All right, mate, I'll let it go. It's just that I really hoped – I mean, we all really hoped – that maybe you and Hermione could put everything behind you and be… you know… happy again."

Hermione wasn't quite sure, but could have sworn she heard Harry said softly: "So did I."

She had closed her room door quietly before the tears started to flow.

Harry.

Yes, breakfast was certainly not simple. There were seven of them at the table: Ron, Luna, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Lupin, and Tonks. Fred and George, unfortunately, had declined Harry's Floo Powder invitation to join them due to "pressing business", and were thus unable to even break the tension. Hermione had never felt more like something was expected of her, and she simply couldn't look Harry in the eye.

Not only was it awkward, but it hurt too much. Spending the night in his arms had reminded her of the magical times they had together, and the happier years they had lived. She tried so hard not to think about how it had all crumbled, but it was impossible not to.

"So… um…" Ginny sounded uncharacteristically tentative as she cleared her throat. "Is anyone going to tell us what happened with Greyback yesterday?"

Hermione felt her entire body stiffen. She had deliberately not asked, deliberately tried not to think about that because she didn't think she could bear having her most fragile hopes crushed. She wanted to live. For the first time, she knew that with absolute clarity. Whatever might have happened, she loved these people and knew that they loved her. Hadn't they all lost enough? She wanted to live, wanted a family, wanted to get married… tears prickled her eyes. She would never get married.

She might not even live.

"Greyback?" Harry said, as if he had never heard the name before. Hermione could tell he had been caught off guard.

Ginny eyed him. "Yes, Greyback, Harry. You know… the werewolf? The one you went to meet yesterday? Honestly, did he do a Memory Charm on you or something? Because in case you haven't noticed, Hermione is one of my best friends and I'd like to know what could save her because I'll go and get it myself if I have to."

Hermione was touched by this, but couldn't help noticing the uneasiness crossing Harry and Lupin's faces. Her heart was sinking fast. They knew something that they didn't want to talk about.

She focused on her suddenly unappetizing meat pie for a moment, and then looked up in time to see Harry and Lupin exchange looks. Ron looked a bit awkward, which told her that he knew at least some of what had happened. Then, Harry looked down at his treacle tart again and Lupin cleared his throat: "Well, it was fairly eventful. I mean, we found him and I permanently deprived him of his teeth and claws."

"That was an excellent form of punishment," Hermione said, startled into speech, unable to repress a smile. "Professor Lupin, it was brilliant."

"That's what I told him," Tonks said brightly, "I would have killed him."

Nobody paid any heed to the latter part of this, because Tonks was simply being Tonks. However, Lupin smiled, thanked Hermione, and then went on to say: "He did provide Dolohov with the spell. It's a very complicated and dangerous kind of spell, and to attempt anything magical without full knowledge would be deadly to Hermione. So…" Lupin hesitated, and then went on: "We're still researching the possible cure as fully as we can before we come to any kind of conclusion. I hope you don't mind being a little patient, Hermione."

"I'm fine with it," said Hermione calmly, trying to ignore a slight dizzy sensation and nausea. She exchanged a glance with Ginny and knew that Ginny, like her, knew that Lupin was lying. They knew what the cure or antidote was… or lack thereof. They just didn't want to tell her.

And Hermione was far too afraid of having her hope shot to dust to question Lupin further.

"Well," said Ginny with a huff, "Back to the books then, is it?"

Everyone smiled or laughed. "Hermione ought to enjoy that," Ron chuckled.

Hermione smiled back, but wasn't really listening.

She felt a reassuring hand on her trembling leg, and nearly leapt out of her chair in shock. It was Harry's hand; she would have known it even if he wasn't sitting right next to her. She was also mildly shocked at herself. Surely, to think about how Harry's hand felt on her leg was not something to be thinking about right now. Maybe he felt something too, because he drew his hand away after squeezing gently in reassurance. Hermione forced herself not to think of it, and her thoughts went straight to a certain evening that felt like so very long ago………

-FLASHBACK-

Hermione was returning to their rooms from the library. She, Harry and Ron were staying at Hogwarts for a few days, working on things with Dumbledore's portrait and office to find the last Horcrux. As she came around the corner, she saw one of her least favourite people (in the purely business sense) walking towards her with a sherry bottle in one hand.

"You!" Sybill Trelawney groaned in a harsh voice, and grabbed Hermione around the wrist so tight that Hermione almost pulled out her wand. It was the harshness of her voice, however, that stayed her hand, because how many times had Harry talked about Professor Trelawney's real prophecies and the way she had turned hoarse and strange when she prophesied? So Hermione stood there, uneasy and a little startled as the Divination professor clutched her hand and looked into her face with tears streaming down her own.

"Professor?" Hermione said slowly. "Are you all right?"

"You," Professor Trelawney moaned, "You, child of Muggles and storm, you must save us all."

Hermione was shaken. "What?"

"The one with the power to destroy the Dark Lord is simultaneously his greatest weapon. He is the Dark Lord's last legacy, and will be the destruction of us all if he is not purged. Only hate can free his heart, for only hate can expel an evil that feeds off humanity. When love turns to hate in a moment of treachery, the One will be free and the Dark Lord will fall. If he is not purged, all is lost. All is lost. The one with the power…"

"S-sorry?" Hermione couldn't breathe. The words, a prophecy, stunned her. They rang in her head like a haunting melody and she didn't know what to do. Professor Trelawney released her, and appeared to be struggling from breath for a moment, before she gasped and then looked at Hermione through surprised and protuberant eyes.

"Why, my dear," she said mistily, "What are you doing here?"

Hermione turned around and ran.

She raced across the castle to the entrance with the two gargoyles and gave them the password. Professor McGonagall had given them free run of her office in the hope that they might find something, and she now went upstairs into the office that was Dumbledore's, and found an empty room with star-strewn skies beyond. The portraits stirred, but it was only Dumbledore's that woke and looked at her.

"Hermione," he said, sounding surprised, "To what do I owe this very late pleasure?"

"A – a prophecy from Professor Trelawney, sir," she stammered.

Dumbledore's expression turned keenly interested. "Indeed? Perhaps I can be of assistance. Why don't you use my Pensieve, Hermione, and show me what Sybill conveyed to you?"

Hermione did so.

As the revolving figure of Professor Trelawney replayed the words that seemed to have burned a mark right through Hermione's heart and soul with its ominous and horrifying message, Hermione watched, unable to speak. Then, when it was over and the seer sank back into the white misty depths of the magical bowl, Hermione turned and risked a look at Dumbledore. He looked very thoughtful.

"Last legacy," he murmured, "I cannot hope that I am wrong. That must surely refer to something almost crystal clear: a Horcrux. The Dark Lord's last legacy of immortality."

Hermione choked back a sob. "And the one with the power…"

"Harry."

"This is horrible," Hermione whispered.

She looked up at the portrait, trying to blink back the tears burning deep in her eyes and throat. Dumbledore's expression was one of infinite sorrow, and it told her that everything she had already speculated and interpreted in her mind was correct.

It was the worst possible expression she could have seen.

"You are an exceptionally clever young woman, Hermione," Dumbledore said quietly, "I don't think I need to tell you what I believe this prophecy almost certainly means."

Hermione swallowed. "No, sir."

"She called you the child of Muggles and storm, and told you that you must save us all."

"Yes."

"You are the only one he loves enough. The only one he would die for."

A knife was sliding deep into her.

"Can you make the ultimate sacrifice, Hermione?"

Hermione felt like the world was crashing around her. "To save Harry, Professor, I must."

"Then you know what you must do."

And so she betrayed him.

Harry Potter was Lord Voldemort's last Horcrux, the fragment of his dark soul entwined with Harry's pure one, corrupting and destroying him. And only when love turned to hate in the shadow of betrayal, could the dark bit of soul be released from its enclosure, Harry's body. Only then could it be destroyed, and only then could Harry be free.

And so she approached Severus Snape, who owed her a favour since she'd cleared his name, and asked him to teach her Occlumency over one month's time. She didn't tell him why, only asked for it and he agreed. And so she went to the Dark Lord, and subjected herself to torture until he believed she had turned to his side and would truly give him Harry Potter. And so she arranged it with him, that monster with red eyes who would haunt her forever, and she led Harry into the forest alone that night when she knew he would be waiting for him. Harry never knew what hit him.

She took the biggest risk imaginable. Gambling Harry's and her lives on the sliver of a chance. And so… she betrayed him.

-END FLASHBACK-

"Hermione?"

She jerked back to reality, where the others were all staring at her in mild confusion and concern. Ginny was waving a hand slowly in front of her eyes. Hermione forced a smile and said: "Sorry, I was just thinking about something. What did you say, Ginny?"

"I asked you whether you wanted to go to Diagon Alley with me?"

Hermione blinked. "Go out, you mean?"

"Yeah," said Ginny cheerfully, "We could visit Fred and George, eat some divine ice-cream, that sort of thing. I'll buy! I have money now, now that I'm a curse-breaker like Bill. We could all use a break, and I figured I could convince Ron, Luna and Harry into coming along as well. And Tonks and Professor Lupin, of course."

"Thanks, Ginny, but Remus and I have to report at the Ministry," Tonks said, looking truly regretful. It couldn't have been plainer that Tonks would much rather eat ice-cream and look at a joke shop instead of sitting in a stuffy office with stuffy politicians. Hermione amused herself for a moment with an image of Tonks hexing the Minister for Magic (still Scrimgeour), who still tried to recruit Harry on a regular basis ("the nerve of him!").

Ginny grinned. "OK, well, what about the rest of you? Hermione?"

"I'd love to, Ginny – oh." Hermione broke off, suddenly remembering.

Ron looked at her. "What?"

"I just remembered… I'm supposed to be meeting Anthony in about an hour at Hogsmeade."

Harry choked on his orange juice.

"Who?" Ron demanded like an angry brother.

"Anthony Goldstein, don't you remember him? He was a Ravenclaw prefect in our year and part of the DA, really bright and very nice." Hermione could sense that everyone was staring at her with surprise, and she felt herself flushing slightly as she explained: "He's head of the new Protection of Mistreated Magical Fellows office that McGonagall helped set up, and I met him when I was in Hogwarts the other day. Protecting house-elves and goblins and stuff is the kind of thing I'd like to do, and I might as well look for a job just in case I wind up…" she broke off, feeling flustered, and added: "Well, anyway, when we met, he asked me if I'd like to work for him – "

"I'm sure he did," Harry muttered, sounding very annoyed.

Lupin and Tonks were carefully avoiding each other's eye. Ron looked flabbergasted. Ginny looked like she was trying not to laugh. "Erm – so you're meeting him in Hogsmeade?"

"Yes, just to discuss what kind of work I'd be doing if I agreed to his offer."

"His offer, hah," said Harry under his breath, but audibly.

Hermione couldn't help feeling slightly pleased that Harry was obviously possessive and jealous over this. But at the same time, she wished he could understand that she needed to pretend that her life was all right… and Anthony knew nothing about her sickness or whatever.

"It's just a business meeting," she said calmly, although she didn't quite see why she had to explain herself to him.

"Where are you meeting?" asked Harry sceptically.

Hermione felt her face grow hot. "Madam Puddifoot's," she mumbled.

"Great place for business," growled Harry.

"Look, he suggested it, all right?"

"How astonishing!"

This was obviously altogether too much for Tonks, who hastily excused herself and bolted from the room. They could hear her smothered giggles all the way up the stairs to the bathroom.

"Hermione," said Lupin calmly, obviously trying to inject some reason into the proceedings that Luna, who had not spoken at all during breakfast, was watching with mild interest along with Ginny and Ron, who were positively apoplectic with amusement and annoyance, respectively. "Is it wise to be on your own somewhere? I mean, in the sun and everything… if you were to faint or feel unwell…"

Hermione responded quickly: "I'll be fine. I feel all right today."

"I think it's a bad idea," Harry said firmly.

"That's unexpected," remarked Ginny, nodding wisely. Harry threw her a dirty look.

Hermione stood up. "I'm going to meet him about this possible job. I'll be fine. You guys have fun at Diagon Alley." She hoped she made it clear that if she caught any of them tailing her at Hogsmeade, they would be so dead. She met Harry's eyes briefly, and saw a mixture of annoyance, pleading and a hint of amusement.

"See you later," she said to the table at large, and left the room. She tried not to think about the fact that there was a faint needle of dizziness prickling the insides of her head.

…

…

…

"I'm looking for an assistant head of office," Anthony explained to Hermione when they were sitting across from each other at a small table in Madam Puddifoot's, the haven of couples. Hermione tried to focus on Anthony's words and not think about Harry, or about how he and Cho Chang had come here on their first and last real date.

Hermione cocked her head, swallowing back her nausea. "And you think I might be a good candidate for the post?"

"You're the only candidate I'd be willing to consider," smiled Anthony. "You care about the mistreated magical creatures, Hermione, you wouldn't be doing it just for the good pay. And you're one of the smartest people I've ever known, infinitely more so than many Ravenclaws I've known." He grinned. "I still don't know how you wound up in Gryffindor. All I can say is, they were one lucky house… and Harry and Ron were lucky to have you as a friend."

"Well, thank you," said Hermione, managing a smile. She looked around a little dizzily. There were a couple of other people she knew here. Hagrid and Madame Maxime were at a table on the side of the room (Hagrid had nearly had a heart attack, seeing her with someone who wasn't Harry, until she explained the whole strictly business part), and Hestia Jones of the Order of the Phoenix was sitting at the bar. Hermione wished she could keep her mind on what Anthony was saying, but she really felt far too ill to do anything of the sort. She had absorbed maybe thirty percent of everything he had explained to her about the office and how it was run. She was beginning to think Harry had been right: this had been a bad idea. She should have just asked Anthony to meet her somewhere closer to home, less stuffy, and less crowded.

Anthony frowned slightly. "Hermione, are you all right? You look a little sick. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Um… a ginger beer would be nice," Hermione said, trying to get the words out without the slight blurring of the room around her. She felt so tired. Her voice was a little distant because of the dizziness. "Thank you."

Giving her a concerned look, Anthony rose and went to the counter to order quickly there. Hermione suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to throw up and the room got very hot and damp, and she stood up quickly, perhaps too quickly, to hurry to the bathroom.

As she stood, she felt the horrible sinking sensation that it was all over. The room spun around wildly, and Hermione ran for the door. She heard Anthony call something behind her, and Hestia Jones had vanished, and the world was spinning. She burst out into the fresh air and stumbled blindly down a deserted alley, before she realized she'd come the wrong way and couldn't move any longer. Hermione had only the vaguest recollection of falling to the ground in a faint.

The next thing she knew, her eyes were open and her skin was soaked in a cold sweat, and she was all alone and nobody would find her because they didn't know where she had gone and she was all on her own and didn't think she could think, let alone move.

Harry, she thought desperately.

Harry.

Hear me.

Harry.

Miles away, Harry, brooding over his ice-cream in Diagon Alley, jerked his head up as if someone had just called him from across the street. "Hermione," he said softly.

At that precise instant, Hestia Jones Apparated in front of their table.

"We have a problem," she said.

Hermione didn't know what was happening. The silent, desperate plea in her head had died… but seconds later, miraculously, people began appearing all around her with loud cracks. Like a circle of protective lions closing in around her within an uproar of shock, Hermione found herself looking up at Ron, at Ginny, at Terry, Luna, Neville… and at Harry.

"Harry," she whispered.

"Shh," said Harry, crouching down next to her and touching her mouth, "I'm here."

She saw Anthony suddenly over her. "What happened?" he asked, sounding confused. "Hermione, what – Terry – I don't understand – "

"I'll stay here and explain," Terry said to Ginny, "You guys take it from here. Tony, listen…"

"Come on, Hermione," Harry said, scooping her up into his arms, "We're getting out of here." He looked down at her for a moment, fear and worry etched across his face, and he kissed her lightly on her forehead.

Hermione looked vaguely at Anthony. "Sorry about the meeting," she mumbled.

He smiled weakly. "No problem."

Hermione's eyes wandered. Even as they disappeared from the alley and reappeared outside Number 12, Grimmauld Place, she caught a glimpse of someone at the very end of the alley, cloaked and hooded, and could have sworn the face grinning at her from under the hood was one she knew.

There was mayhem all around. Harry laid her down on the sofa in the den. Ron sat down at the foot of the sofa, watching her worriedly. Luna brought socks from Hermione's room and put them on her feet before sitting down next to Ron. Ginny and Neville re-emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of cool water and a cloth. Harry just stood beside her, her hand clutching his and refusing to let go, his jaw working hard.

Ginny wiped Hermione's brow and neck with the cool cloth. She could barely think. She felt so stupid, but so sick at the same time.

"Feel so silly," she mumbled.

They all looked at her and made various laughing or scornful sounds. "Oh, shut up, Hermione, and stop fishing for sympathy," Ron said with a snort.

Hermione couldn't help smiling.

Then Professor McGonagall was marching into the room. "Hestia just contacted me," she said in her brisk and crisp voice, which cracked only slightly at the sight of Hermione. "What happened? Shall I ask Severus to brew something that might help? I've got him working on a simple Pepper-Up Draught for now, but if there's anything else… good grief, what happened?"

Neville explained in a slightly nervous but worried voice. Professor McGonagall's brow puckered and she looked very disturbed.

"She's obviously entering the advanced stages of the spell, and weakening," she said. "She must be taken to St. Mungo's and cared for professionally for as long as we can. It's the only way we can make sure she recovers from this episode."

"What can healers do with a spell they know nothing about?" Ron asked.

Professor McGonagall looked worried. "We have no choice. We have to try everything, Mr Weasley. Miss Granger – Hermione – we'll take you outside and have the healers pick you up. It would be the swiftest and safest mode of getting you there – "

Hermione began to cry.

There was stunned silence for a moment as Harry knelt down beside the sofa and cradled Hermione, who sobbed into his chest. Professor McGonagall croaked: "But – Hermione – what's the matter?"

Hermione was trembling, and desperate. "I can't go to St. Mungo's – "

"It's very safe, Hermione," Neville said, "My – my parents are there, you know."

"I know, but I can't go. Harry, please, Harry, don't make me go there. I don't want to – I can't die in a hospital, Harry, please. I can't die there, if I have to, I need to die here at home. Please, Harry, don't let them take me there."

Harry looked at her, stricken, as if he had just been knifed in the heart.

"Hermione, you're delirious," Ron said quietly, sounding very worried. "You can't mean that."

"Please, Harry!" Hermione was almost screaming.

Harry straightened his shoulders. "Professor McGonagall," he said calmly, "We won't need the healers. If things get worse, we can always ask one of them to come here and take a look. I'm sure they'll do that for me. Hermione will stay here."

"Very well, Harry," said Professor McGonagall as briskly as possible, tears glistening in her eyes. "I'll get the potion from Severus then."

And she left. Hermione felt her breathing slow and calm a little.

Ginny looked furious. "But, Harry, they could save her!"

"They can't do a damned thing."

"Harry, you can't – "

"She stays, Ginny," Harry said coolly, "It's not negotiable."

For a moment, Ginny glared at Harry. Then, her eyes shifted to Hermione and her expression softened. She came towards Hermione and squeezed one of her hands. "I'm just worried about you," she said softly. "I don't want you to go there if you really don't want to."

Hermione nodded weakly. Then Ginny looked meaningfully at Neville, Ron and Luna. "Why don't the four of us go and make us all something to eat? Then we can all eat lunch together? Hermione ought to have something to eat anyway, it might make her feel better." She started towards the kitchen, with Neville and Luna in tow, but stopped when Ron didn't move.

"I'm no good at cooking," he said with a shrug.

Ginny glared at him. "You can come and scrub the floor then," she snapped.

Ron looked at Harry and Hermione, and then blinked. "Oh!" he said, looking surprised as if the light had just dawned. "Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. I'll help." And he followed Ginny out of the room so fast, Hermione, had she had the energy to think, would have been amazed that he hadn't stumbled over his two large uncoordinated feet.

The room emptied, and she looked at Harry. "How did we come to this?" she said tiredly.

He looked over her shoulder, as if seeing something that wasn't there. "I don't know," he said, and he sounded equally sad and tired. "It's as if everything just fell apart the minute I lost you. Nothing matters when you're not around, Hermione."

"You've been so alone," she said softly.

"So have you."

"Will you find me when it gets dark?"

He swallowed visibly. "I'll try."

"Promise me."

"I'll die before I give up."

Hermione felt her body relax slightly. Maybe it would be safe to fall asleep then. She would wake up again. Harry would find her. She looked into those green eyes, full of fear but also full of an unspoken comfort. The rock that would keep her steady. He had kept her home, had given her the one thing she wanted, even if it risked everything.

"Thank you," she said hoarsely.

He stroked her hair, and cracked a smile. "Anytime."

…

…

TBC.