Hello everyone! I am so terribly sorry for the long delay since my last update. :( Fall is always a busy time for my work and with the current Covid wave blasting through our health care system, well, I could barely find the time to write. :( But here's to starting the New Year with three new chapters! Which actually marks the end of the grisly journey through the Blind Mountains. I hope you guys are ready for what comes next in the story after that, where Maeve and Sinbad's chapters will alternate a lot more!
Happy New Year! I wish you all health, prosperity and love. Stay safe!
Maevelynn xoxox
Chapter 27 – Bad Dreams
She was cold, the crispy clammy air seeping into her clothes and gripping her bones like hands of ice, making her shiver despite the comfort of her leather jacket and hot air puffing out of her mouth with every breath that she took.
The gritty journey of the last five days had left her and everyone thoroughly exhausted and drained once again. Deprived of sunlight and shrouded in debilitating shadows, they had spent hours upon hours hiking up and down muddy slopes, trekking through dangerously crooked trails, sloshing knee-deep in ponds of filthy water, maneuvering across entire zones covered in prickly tangles of roots that kept snatching at their clothes, carrying children and injured soldiers on makeshift stretchers…
The deeper into the woods they went, the longer it took to cover a simple mile because the bruises and the wounds just kept multiplying and crippling their advance, as well as significantly hindering their capacity to defend themselves, which stirred fear and anguish amongst the entire convoy.
The mountains felt like a prison, one they would never get out of and where every day simply kept repeating itself on a loop, with the heavy darkness sucking out people's strength like a parasite.
The process was becoming disturbingly maddening, with reality bending at the edges and messing with people's minds, children waking up screaming in the night, brave soldiers falling asleep where they stood, civilians hallucinating shadows and hearing voices that were not there…
Exhaustion was becoming their biggest enemy.
And she was no exception to its overbearing company.
She could feel her sanity slowly drifting away with every taxing day that went by, with ghosts and demons lurking into the dark corners of her mind to lure her into their twisted embrace, old memories that she had buried long ago resurfacing in her dreams to torment her at night. A Celtic village filled with screams and flames, her little brother's shape melting into wings with Rumina's laugh echoing in the ashes of her homeland, dark angry waves shaking a poor little ship on the high seas while the ocean swallowed her like a beast…
More than once in the past few nights, she had been awakened by a hand shaking her at the shoulder, with either Leisa, Coop or Robin plucking her out of the disturbing nightmares that were stripping her of precious hours of sleep. She fought them off every time, even elbowing Coop hard in the gut on one occasion as she physically struggled against the clutches of her fevered dreams. Once awake she would repeatedly insist that she was fine despite the weight of their concerned looks, and then she would proceed to stay awake until the bleak greyness of dawn arrived and forced them on the move again.
On and on it went for five nights and five days, but Maeve never complained.
Instead, she offered a helping hand everywhere she could, transporting extra bags, lending support to those who limped, carrying toddlers when their parents could no longer bear their weight, helping old Lobelia tend to the wounded, applying ointments, adjusting splints, changing bandages…
Her back was painfully sore, her hands looked like she'd fought with a lion, her left shoulder was stiff and aching despite the sling protecting it, but she pushed through the pain and aided as much as she could, grinding through the physical exertion.
Anything to keep her mind busy.
If she stayed occupied long enough, repeatedly focusing on one task after another, then her thoughts could not wander, could not stray to what she had glimpsed in the brook, could not stray to him...
But that proved to be a lot harder to accomplish than she thought, her treacherous brain constantly reverting back to that terrible night, taunting her over and over again, like someone cruelly poking at a wounded animal through the bars of a cage.
She couldn't escape the insidious torment, and the available distractions were getting scarce.
As it was, there was simply little conversation to be made between the soldiers and the civilians during the day, with everyone too busy concentrating on which patch of mud to strategically place their next step or which sticky vine to grab onto not to fall, and when night came at last everyone simply fell asleep like rocks in the blink of an eye, with merely a few words exchanged about food and wounds and allotting shifts to the soldiers who would stand guard.
Even when the others did try to engage her in conversational chit chat, Maeve never had much to say anyway, her lethargic mind slipping into brooding solitude every time, and her companions had probably caught her staring blankly into space on more occasions than she actually thought, her dark eyes haunted and lost.
She couldn't even count on the distraction of the adorable jabbering between little Rose and Sam anymore, because the two blond toddlers had fallen further back down the trek line along with their relatively unharmed parents, trading their places at the front of the convoy with those sporting the most serious of wounds so that they might set the pace of the journey. That way no one would lag behind and fall prey to the many dangers of the woods.
As it was, there were six men with broken legs, a dozen with sprained ankles and broken arms, many with infected wounds and mild fevers, a woman with a missing ear, eight soldiers with chopped off hands and fingers...The list just went on and on, and the most severe injuries often surpassed the abilities of Leisa's Sleyans, leaving many to suffer and whimper in agony during the night.
Nearly one month into the Blind Mountains and Maeve felt like she had gone through a lifetime of warfare and bloody battles with these people, as if years had gone by since they had all stepped foot into the wicked forest, and it often felt as if time itself had stopped for them all, for all these brave souls trapped in the deadly shadows of the dark mountains, forsaken and lost.
But time had certainly not stopped for the outside world, not for the Nomad crew, not for
him…
Lightning ripped the sky above her head as a twig snapped under her boot, the bright light momentarily stealing her vision before the deafening thunder rumbled in her ears and the deck quaked and shook beneath her, the sudden downpour stealing her breath like an unexpected thief.
Ice cold rain blinded her as the ship was violently tossed by the raging waves, the ocean unleashing its fury like a wrathful goddess in the darkness of the night. Nerve-racking fear pooled in her chest like poison while her numb fingers wildly clawed at the ropes.
She didn't want to fall.
Not again.
She blinked through the pouring rain, searching for him on deck with his name trapped in her lungs while distorted shadows glided amidst the frantic sailors with glowing eyes, screams filling the night like the terrible wails of a battlefield.
When a mighty wave crashed on the starboard side, the impact roughly propelled her forward and sent her sprawling on deck beside the main mast. Wiping water out of her eyes, she quickly scrambled to her hands and knees, but then the sturdy wood of the tall mast melted into the trunk of a massive rotten tree, the crooked roots coiling around her wrists like shackles with thorns biting into her flesh and dripping with red blood.
A scream lodged in her throat but no sound came out as she panicked, desperately pulling at her bonds while another flash of lightning painted everything in white around her, drawing out the contours of Skinwalkers crawling on the sterncastle deck, the horrid creatures advancing towards her with glistening fangs.
She pulled at her wrists again, cold terror washing into her limbs like the furious waves all around her, her screams soundlessly choking her.
When the razor-sharp roots finally released her, tearing at her flesh and into the fabric of her red dress, she all but threw herself against the door that led below deck, hurling all her weight against it to slam it shut and slide the iron latch in place to lock it behind her. The Skinwalkers collided on the other side with a deafening chorus of croaks and roars, smashing through the wood with their crooked limbs flailing in the air to claw at her face.
She jumped out of the way in fright, her heart violently trashing in her ribcage as she fled deep into the belly of the ship, running into a maze of hallways she didn't recognize, busting through door after door after door until she finally emerged in a small dimly lit cabin, panting out of breath and fear leaking out of her like blood as red as her dress.
She whirled around wide-eyed, searching for a way out but it was a dead end, and already she could hear the terrifying croaks of the Skinwalkers massing on the other side of the door, banging against the wood with sharp claws and broken limbs, the metallic latch trembling under their repeated attacks.
She retreated into the room as far as she could until she pressed her back against the farthest wall, breathing erratically and with her heartbeat thumping in her ears like painful drums.
She was trapped.
Thunder roared outside, the tempest exploding under the wrath of the ocean.
And then something moved in the opposite corner of the room, hooded blue eyes lost and empty as they looked up from the crook of a woman's neck, his fingers splayed on her naked spine as she undulated against him, moaning and gasping under his touch.
He looked straight at her, stealing her breath as good as if he had driven a knife between her ribs and she rushed forward at once, desperate to get to him, to shove the woman aside, to cup his face and tell him-
But she hadn't made two steps when she collided with an invisible barrier, preventing her from getting anywhere near him.
She looked around in sheer confusion, fear igniting in her bones like lightening as her hands mapped the glass-like wall that now surrounded her, her wide eyes quickly locking with his haunted gaze once more. She screamed at him but the sound remained trapped inside her chest, her own voice echoing distantly in her ears.
Frantic, she banged on the barrier with her fists, as forcefully as the devastation that roared inside her heart, struggling to break whatever magical constraint was locking her away from him.
He was still looking at her, his beautiful blue eyes empty and lost, but then the woman effectively turned his attention away, claiming his lips in the shadows of the room like a wicked siren.
Maeve hit against the thick barrier again, her heart bleeding inside her chest like an open wound while her eyes burned, and then a loud gushing sound exploded right behind her, the hull of the ship blasting open to flood her little prison with freezing water, the level rapidly rising to her knees and thighs.
Her pulse bounded beneath her flesh, terror swelling inside her bones as the water rose again and again and she pounded against the invisible prison glass, screaming at him for help as he kissed and pinned the dark-haired woman against the wall across the room.
Maeve
Someone called her name, a distant voice that tugged at the back of her mind while she continued to scratch and claw at the barrier around her, the ice-cold water rising to her waist and chest.
Maeve!
The voice called again, more urgently this time, but she was panicking, her reason and rationality fading out of her terrified brain as she drowned in survival instincts, the water reaching her neck to choke her.
Maeve!
She trashed in the water, her heart beating so hard against her ribcage it would surely explode as she felt something cover her mouth, iron bonds closing around her body to hold her still as the deep gentle voice in her ear kept reassuring her that she was safe, over and over again.
But she wasn't safe. She was drowning. She was trapped. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't-
"Maeve! Wake up!"
Her eyes snapped open, hot blood pumping hard in her veins and surging through her body like a storm as she looked around in wild terror, Leisa's face registering before her in the darkness of the night as the Radakeel was bathed in the dark orange glow of the campfire.
Kneeling in front of her at eye level, her black gaze was glinting with sharp concern and Maeve felt the woman's fingers gently brush a strand of her hair aside while the others stood behind her like watchful shadows, with the same level of worry etched on their tired features.
"You were screaming in your sleep," the warrior woman explained, eying her closely as Maeve slowly regained her senses, the fragments of her frayed mind tumbling back into place like the sharp pieces of a terrible puzzle.
The hand covering her mouth slowly released her then, as if certain enough that she would not scream again, while the strong arm that was securely coiled around her midsection loosened its hold as well.
That's when Maeve realized she was cradled against someone, with her back pressed against the solid chest of man, his body warm and comforting in the night as his legs sprawled on either side of her, both of them leaning back against a tree. She didn't have to guess who it was, recognizing his voice as the one that had whispered in her ear in the throes of her nightmare, repeating that she was safe.
"Are you alright?" Leisa asked again, lines of concern still creasing her feline features.
Too shaken to find her voice, with the jagged shards of her fearful dream briefly flashing before her eyes, she swallowed hard and offered the Radakeel a simple nod before allowing herself to slump against Robin in exhaustion, closing her eyes for a few seconds as she let her head rest on his shoulder and tried to match her painful breathing with his.
She felt the tension slowly leave him as well as he rested his own head against the tortuous trunk of the tree behind him, and with an imperceptible motion of his hand he seemed to indicate to the others that they had best let her be for the time being.
Heeding his silent suggestion with a pinched expression, Leisa carefully rose to her feet. "We'll get the rest of the convoy ready," she stated, her words barely registering in Maeve's head as she felt Robin nod in agreement behind her, and with one last lingering look, the Radakeel ushered the others deeper in the darkness of the woods, leaving nothing in her wake except the feeble sounds of the crackling campfire.
When they were completely alone, winded and exhausted, they both remained silent and did not move for a long moment, probably longer than any of them would ever admit, while the flames quietly popped a few feet away from where they sat, wearily leaning against the wide tree.
As the warmth of his body gradually seeped into her own, Maeve allowed the previous vivid fear of her nightmare to slowly leak out of her, leaving her thoroughly drained like a sponge wrung dry.
She knew she should have wrenched herself away from him as soon as she woke up, to lick her wounds alone and swiftly retrieve the scraps of her dented composure, but as she warily glanced around at the eerie shadows of the Blind Mountains, the feel of him against her came with a rare sensation of safety, which was something she hadn't felt in far too long.
The fact that she currently needed the steady beat of his heart to calm herself down was disconcerting, but at the moment she was too tired to even spare the matter a single thought. Instead, she just allowed herself to drift off for a few minutes, closing her eyes again and letting the raging storm inside her head cool to a gentle river, her nerves and her senses slowly unwinding at last from the acute stress of her terrifying dream.
When her heartrate finally settled, lulled by the rhythm of his calm breathing, she felt him move against her, his hand resting at her hip giving a light squeeze as if to check if she had fallen asleep again.
She moved her head to the side a little, indicating that she was still awake, and then his voice broke the stretching silence between them.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked, gentle and soft against her ear and she reasoned he was referring to the iron grasp he had held her with while she trashed in his arms to escape her nightmare.
She shook her head, finding her voice for the first time. "No," she murmured. "Did I?" She inquired in return, remembering the nasty elbow jab she had inflicted on Coop the night before.
"No." Robin chuckled behind her, lifting a hand to rub at his jaw. "Although, you pack quite a sharp uppercut."
"Sorry," she apologized, but he quickly shrugged it off and brough a knee up beside her to adjust his position, his arms remaining loosely wrapped across her waist and her hips.
Their intimate position vaguely registered in her mind as silence engulfed them again like a comforting cloak, and once more, neither of them moved for a long while. Instead, she felt him rest his head on the tree behind him again, a tired sigh escaping his lips, and although she could not see his face, she could tell he had closed his eyes.
Sitting flush against him, she also realized that he wasn't wearing his leather armor, which was rare in these cursed mountains, so the heat of him was bleeding through his shirt and into her back like a furnace. Old instincts tugged at the back of her mind, urging her to put an end to this kind of proximity, but instead her body simply basked in his reassuring warmth, seeking the respite it desperately needed.
They had barely spoken in the last few days, their relationship becoming unpleasantly tensed after the whole reveal of the prophecy and her supposed identity as the Fire Maiden and Queen of Kalladrell, their views clashing about the truth of the matter and especially about the issue of her safety. He had respectfully given her the space she needed to think and sort through all this new information, but still it felt as if they no longer knew how to act around one another, every interaction awkward and strained, both of them avoiding any kind of close quarter as well as any unnecessary touch or prolonged gazes.
And then everything had gotten worse after what she had witnessed in the brook, her little world turned upside down as she had to absorb a very different kind of blow, terrible and devastating, a betrayal she had never seen coming and that had shattered what was left of her brittle defenses. She had retreated into her shell even more after that, falling into some sort of stupor over the following days, her fragile heart broken and numb and empty.
A thousand different emotions continued to rip her apart every time her mind wandered back to that crushing night, from debilitating sorrow and blinding rage to crippling confusion and unbearable shame, a burning sense of agony invading her wounded heart with every step that she took, not giving her any respite even in her sleep.
She had sensed Robin's growing concern for her during that time, his worry and protectiveness almost palpable and emanating from him like steam, as if he had to physically restrain himself not to wage war against whatever invisible demons were tormenting her. But still he had never pushed for answers nor pried into her privacy, just patiently respecting her need for time and space while she brooded alone.
Yet now here they were, closer than they had ever been before, with whatever physical barrier they had awkwardly erected in the last few days properly shattered by her violent dream, and scattered into pieces that neither of them seemed to have the strength to pick up again, nor the desire to.
It was strangely comforting somehow, to be able to slowly reacquaint themselves back to one another for a few minutes, to let the accumulated tension bleed away into the darkness, after everything that had happened.
And a vengeful part of her was almost wishing that Sinbad might somehow catch a glimpse of her…that he might somehow stumble upon this scene, and see her like this, sheltered in the arms of another man…She knew it would hurt him, that the sting of jealousy would find its way into his blood just like it had into hers, watching him with another woman…
Let him see, she thought bitterly, resentment swelling in her bones.
She was too tired to move anyway, her eyelids growing heavier by the minute, with the warmth of Robin's arms simply allowing her to breathe and rest, a flicker of temporary peace blooming inside her for the first time in five days. She knew it wouldn't last, but she welcomed the sensation nonetheless, anything to bury the pain of the expanding cracks in her heart.
She was slowly drifting off, but then Robin gave her hip another small squeeze, a gentle warning so she wouldn't fall asleep, and she adjusted her head again, noticing for the first time the thick shadows that danced all around them, the crooked trees painted pitch black.
"It's night…" she observed, the time of day fully registering in her mind as she remembered that the convoy had stopped a few hours before dusk, so that everyone could eat and sleep before the last trial of their crossing began.
"Aye, we'll be on the move soon," Robin nodded behind her, a trace of regret coloring his voice. "I let you sleep a little longer, hoping you would catch some extra rest…" The protective arm across her waist tensed slightly, as if he was angry with himself. "If I had known you were trapped in a nightmare, I would have woken you sooner."
"You couldn't have known," she shook her head, quietly refusing his apology while her gaze surfed on their surrounding with rising puzzlement, quickly becoming aware that the campfire a few feet beside them was the only one around. "Where's the rest of the convoy?"
"At the edge of the swamp, probably waiting for us."
That should have been their cue to get up and join their comrades, but again, neither of them moved, her head leaning back against his shoulder in outright exhaustion while he simply held her, equally tired.
In less than a week they would be out of these wretched mountains. It was almost over. Just one last monster to face. One last stretch of trekking and they would see the sun again. Just a few more days…
But Maeve couldn't help but feel like even more terrible monsters awaited her on the other side. An army of Blood Raiders…a Djin Lord…a Belrok…an evil king…a crown…a prophecy…
A captain she could no longer trust…
It was too much. It was all too much to bear. Dim-Dim had overestimated her. She couldn't do this. She couldn't-
Robin's fingers lightly dug into her hip again, as if he could sense her racing thoughts simply by the way she had momentarily tensed against him. He said nothing though, and just allowed her to slowly relax again as she calmly exhaled through her nose.
If given the chance, she knew she could have fallen asleep within the minute, a small part of her even wondering if perhaps her nightmares might fail to haunt her in the safety of his arms…
But before that single thought could take root in her weary mind, she felt the familiar twinge of pride and stubbornness spark to life in her limbs, prompting her to move while her mind braced itself for the last step of their journey.
She sat up straighter, slowly prying herself away from the heat of his comforting embrace.
He shifted behind her in response, but before he could say anything she rose to her feet, the previous location of his arm leaving a trail of heat across her midsection as she dodged the scrutiny of his blue eyes.
Before she could retreat too far though, he quickly stood up and grasped her arm gently, balancing his weight on his good leg to spare his wounded ankle.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his deep voice dripping with concern as he tried to catch her eye in the golden light of the flames. She hummed positively in response, briefly nodding as if everything was perfectly fine, but he pressed again softly. "You've barely said a word in last few days."
She pinched her lips together, knowing he wouldn't drop the matter unless she somehow gave him a decent answer. Now that they had re-established some sort of physical connection, he was wasting no time in retrieving the rest of what they temporarily lost in the last few days, such as their fragile ability to communicate with one another.
Sighing with fading resistance, she met his heavy gaze in the firelight. "I've just been in my head a lot, trying to process everything you guys told me." Which was the truth, among other things…Then she looked around aimlessly, her tired eyes casting about for purchase in the crippling shadows. "I just want to see the sun again. This place is starting to drive me crazy."
He studied her closely for a few seconds, his features softening in the golden glow of the flames as he seemed to accept her weary answer, although she couldn't tell if her words truly soothed his worries or not.
"How's your shoulder?" he asked, his voice taking on a different edge as he abruptly changed the subject.
"It's fine," she shrugged indifferently, attempting to ward off his concern but before she could even blink he gave her left shoulder a light squeeze. "Oww!" She yelped at the sharp pain, tossing him a fiery glare with a curse on her lips.
"You're a pitiful liar," he admonished her with a shake of his head, effectively exposing her lie.
Maeve cursed under her breath again, clutching her wounded shoulder as she bent down to rummage through her pack and retrieve her sling, growing more and more annoyed with his ability to read her like an open book. "What difference would it make if I complained about it all the time?"
"You don't have to push yourself so hard," he argued, trying to get his point across. "There's not a moment lately where I haven't seen you carrying an extra load. You don't-"
"I pull my weight around here like everybody else, and there's nothing you can say that will change that," she replied firmly, glowering at him in the darkness of the woods.
He looked away in frustration, as if mulling over a counter argument but quickly realizing this was an issue he would not win. "No, I don't suppose there is."
The small smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth probably betrayed some impending comment about her infuriating stubbornness, but as they looked at each other in mutual defiance he chose to let it go and instead went about the task of packing his things.
With the matter settled in her favor, Maeve did the same and busied herself with getting ready, a thin smile of victory curving her lips as she strapped her sword to her back.
She then carefully adjusted the sling back in place to offer what little protection she could to her fragile shoulder joint, while Robin donned his leather armour and slipped the rest of his battle gear on, the exhausted man trading his place for the sturdy General once again.
They were gathering the last of their packs when Leisa and the others emerged from the shadows of the crooked trees.
"It's time," Simon announced, his jaw tightly clenched with resolve. "We're ready when you are."
"Lead the way," Robin grimly declared, tossing her a brief look before falling into steps with the blond soldier, balancing his weight off his wounded ankle as best as he could as he walked with a limp, aided in his stance by a long branch.
Maeve followed after him closely as they all plunged into the darkness of the frightening woods, down a narrow path of slimy wet rocks and tortuous vines, all the way to the rest of the convoy where two hundred and two brave souls had gathered.
Trembling at the edge of the Kawassea's swamp.
"Feels like I'm frozen
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to run from here
These walls are closing
Closing me in
Wearing me thin with fear
Wake me up
Won't you wake me up
I want to feel the sun"
Bad Dreams – Ruelle