Disclaimer: Still got nothing.
All We Have Left to Give
Kakashi had woken up in a cold sweat again, the images still haunting him at night. When would he ever be free of this? Did he want to be free of this? Be free of the constant flow of memories that where not his own. Be free of those haunting smiles and feelings of warmth he had never known.
A week had already passed since the funeral; many had been lost in battle. The village of Konoha was in mourning, and Kakashi mourned the loss of his sensei. In his dreams he saw him still, his indomitable strength and the tenderness of his spirit. These dreams, while painfully clear, where not what disturbed Kakashi. Those dreams where his own; the familiar ache of his own heart after the loss of yet another loved one. It was the same feelings of grief and loneliness that he had felt at his father's funeral, and again at Obito's and now at Yondaime's. It hurt just as much as the other losses but he had long ago accepted this as the fate of every shinobi, and would one day be his fate too. He could only wonder if there would be anyone left to mourn for him when his time came.
The dreams that disturbed him most were those where he saw the image of that boy. The boy he'd seen in the children's ward after the battle had ended. Kakashi had already been treated for a broken arm and bruised ribs and was resting in one of the many beds in the ward. Some of the children where crying in pain and some were too stunned too do anything. At fourteen he had already seen these horrors and didn't want to give them too much thought for fear that these new images might come back to haunt him.
That boy had caught his eye though, a boy he himself had never seen but knew as he knew himself.
He was sitting on his small bed with arms holding his legs to his chest, head bowed low as he wept silently. He didn't look too injured save for what seemed to be a sprained ankle and wrist as well as a large gash to his upper right arm. His clothes were filthy and his hair was a mess. There where so many needing medical attention that no one spared him a second glance. The pain that wretched through Kakashi's heart at seeing this child weep was unbearable, but the pain was not totally his own.
It had been a long time since he had felt Obito's emotions stir in him. He felt it when he was near Rin and when he spoke with sensei, but he didn't see Rin at all these days, and his sensei was always busy after he became Hokage. This child that Kakashi had never seen before had woken a part of his soul that he thought had almost faded.
This child had been precious to Obito, Kakashi was sure of that. While he had never seen him physically, the boy's smile had been all too clear in his dreams. Kakashi had known love for this boy as he sat with Obito in those dreams and watched the memories play. Those dreams always comforted him, calmed his soul, he was so content in them that he often prayed for them on darker days. There was always sunshine in them. Kakashi has seen this boy playing in a flowery meadow, seen him smile, seen him grin mischievously, seen him shout and scold.
Obito had been in love with this boy. Kakashi knew it the moment he first appeared in his dreams and had been thoroughly amused and bewildered by the foreign emotion. He had dreamed of that warm tan skin and kissing those beautiful lips, of touching that soft dark hair, of holding that pure and loving aura. It wasn't long before Kakashi too found that he loved this boy. But this child was only real in those dreams, when Kakashi would wake the warmth would be gone and Obito's presence would be cold. Kakashi has never spoken of this to anyone.
Before Kakashi could realize what he was doing his good arm reached out and pulled the broken child to his chest and held him there. He was surprised at his own actions but didn't stop himself, whether the motivation was his own feelings or not, he allowed his body to move on its own. He rocked the boy in his arms gently until the tears stopped and the child was breathing evenly. Untangling the small form he laid him back on the bed and pulled the covers over him.
In the darkness right before dawn he got his first look at the boys face. He was even more beautiful then in the dreams. The scar, the lips, those smooth heavenly features that shown through where tears had washed away the dirt and blood. There were fresh bandages on his forehead but it seemed they hadn't had time to wash the rest of his face.
Producing the small washcloth he kept in his side pack and his half full canteen he began to carefully wash away all the grime. Only when he was satisfied did he allow himself to truly look at the boy, to memorize his face and take in his scent. It didn't feel right still. It didn't feel like it was enough to just look at him. Without knowing why he reached up to his hitai-ate and pulled it away from the sharingan eye.
It had been a long time since he had felt Obito so alive in him, and in turn he too felt alive with emotion. For a brief moment he let himself be overwhelmed and in a daze he allowed his body to lean forward and to briefly press his lips to the boy's. Pure content washed over him and the words 'I can die happy now' entered his mind. He didn't know how long he sat there before he had passed out from exhaustion.
It had been worth it, and in his dreams that night Obito's smile was huge and embarrassed as he just blushed and scratched the back of his head. Kakashi couldn't help but smile too. He had kissed an angel and all his pain, all the death and horror he had seen that night had melted away.
When he woke the boy was gone and the blanket that had been on the bed was now draped around his shoulder. Replacing the forehead protector around his head he set out to look for the boy without looking like he was doing so. He walked around aimlessly for a few minutes before he closed his eyes and concentrated on finding the familiar aura. The pain and suffering around him had only deepened since the night. Many still wept over those who had been lost during the battle and now there where those did not survive the night. There where many silently strong people emerging now, putting their pain aside to help those in need; so much needed to be rebuilt there was hardly time for tears.
Kakashi was more then relieved to find the boy among them; Konoha's true strength. He was in a room of patients ranging from civilian children to elite jounin, going from bed to bed and taking down names and ages in his polite way. Kakashi knew that he too was needed to do his part in the reconstruction, so he left the boy and headed towards the mission room to be briefed.
Every night since then he had dreamed of the boy, but the dreams now did not have the happiness he once knew. The grief he had known was immense and yet all he could think about was comforting that boy. Sandaime is Hokage again, and at the funeral Kakashi was sure he had glimpsed the boy standing among the many new orphans. A week after the funeral, a week after the village had moved on Kakashi resolved to see him again.
With no one to go home to and the hospital still overflowing with patients the boy spent most of his time there. When Kakashi found him he was sitting at the head of a class of civilian volunteers in the hospital lobby, instructing them in basic bandaging methods. It was the first time he had ever heard the boy's voice so clearly and Kakashi absorbed every sound and syllable coming from those lips that he had stolen a kiss from that terrible and distant night. His voice was strong and confident, and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief at the boy's inner strength, knowing that strength would sustain him when the true horror sunk in if it had not already. The boy was on crutches and his wrist prevented him from doing more then giving out instructions and encouragements to the people who where practicing on each other.
His hair had been let down, probably because he couldn't tie it properly with one hand. Kakashi had never seen it down before in the dreams and judging from the warm emotions emanating from the sharingan, Obito hadn't either. It was a stunning sight. His eyes were a very deep brown and when they locked on to Kakashi's he felt his heart flutter and a blush come to his masked cheeks. Inwardly he scolded himself and Obito for being so obvious. When the boy smiled at him though, he forgot about scolding.
Excusing himself from the makeshift classroom the boy hobbled over to stand before Kakashi on crutches that were too short for him. "Thank you." Came his small timid voice. "Thank you for that night." A blush spread across his cheeks, and he was so very beautiful to Kakashi right now. The epitome of strength and love that Kakashi had prayed for visions of when he felt that the weight of world's darkness would crush him. "Thank you for being strong for me."
A small gasp caught in his throat at how the boy could be so honest and humble with him. An urge that was not his own surged in him to break down and confess to the boy his love, to hold him and kiss him again and again and thank him for existing.
"I love you." The words escaped his mouth before he could put a stop to the rampant emotions.
Thoroughly irritated with himself and Obito, Kakashi did nothing. He stood perfectly still and gave no acknowledgment to the words that had just come out of his mouth. He stood there pretending as if he hadn't said anything and acting as if he hadn't even noticed the boy in front of him.
Totally caught off guard the boy simply blinked at him for a moment. The innocence in his eyes clear as day and the blush on his cheeks turned the prettiest of shades of red. His smile had faltered in his surprise but was suddenly back and in full bloom. The boy looked away embarrassedly and tried to stifle the chuckle that had erupted from his lips.
Feeling a blush come to his cheeks Kakashi wanted to get away from the discomfort. But before he could move however, the boy flung himself at Kakashi. Kakashi braced himself just in time for the impact as the boy wrapped his arms around his arms and buried his head into Kakashi's chest. The room was full of people and yet no one spared them a second glance. It felt wonderful to be so close to him again but the boy's laughter had broken his composure and he couldn't help but feel hurt.
"He really lives on in you doesn't he?" The boy said when his laughter subsided. "Obito." It was a whisper but it was unmistakable. He looked up suddenly and looked into the older boy's visible eye. "He used to talk about you. About how much he hated you." Kakashi must have looked puzzled because the boy smiled again and then touched a finger to the slanted forehead protector that hid the sharingan eye. "His mother told me." He admitted softly. Hesitating a moment the boy looked for the right words. "Obito is the only person who has ever said those words to me… like that."
Kakashi was stunned. He didn't have any words for this. Faintly he could sense Obito's aura beaming with stupid pride over images of the first time he had met the boy and stupidly blurted out the same words. Kakashi mildly wondered how much of Obito's stupidity the eye had infected him with.
"Can I see more of you?" the boy asked. His voice was growing uncertain at Kakashi's seeming indifference. "Can we be friends?" It was a heartbreaking request as he began to tremble. "I don't have anyone left." The boy said softly into his shirt.
A long moment passed before Kakashi finally spoke. "I don't have anyone left either." The trembling of his voice betrayed his calm exterior.
The boy looked up again, "You can have me." He said blushing at his own words as soon as they left his mouth. Tears were forming in his eyes, but there, unmistakably there under his pain and vulnerability, was that unyielding strength.
Kakashi could only nod, the lump in his throat making it hard to breath. "Then you can have me too." He pulled the boy closer to him. This was all so overwhelming. How long had it been since he felt so alive? Since he felt anything but pain from the sharingan? Content; had he ever known content before now? Obito had loved this boy, and Kakashi knew exactly why, and Kakashi loved this boy.