Niles stood in the living room, holding David as he swayed with the child to the Brahms playing quietly on the stereo. He'd just fed his son, and was rocking him to try and settle him for a nap. The last 3 months since his birth had been both the best and most hectic of his life, and Niles lived for the little moments like this where it was just the two of them, quietly basking in the time spent with his new son.
The door opened, and Daphne entered, back from the shops. Niles smiled as she entered, and crossed the room to kiss her hello.
"We're just settling after a feed." Niles spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb David as he was slowly drifting off to sleep. "How'd you go with the shopping?"
Daphne smiled at her husband and son - the two men in her life who'd captured her heart so completely.
"It went well, I got the stuff I needed for dinner tonight." She held the bags up as she crossed to the kitchen. Niles followed, David still in his arms.
In the kitchen, Daphne started to unpack the groceries, placing things on the bench, and Niles started to put the smaller things away with his free hand, David now asleep against his shoulder.
Daphne pulled out a bag of flour from one of the grocery bags, and Niles stared at it as she set it on the bench unceremoniously. He began giggling as a long forgotten memory from a decade ago flew to the front of his mind, probably summoned by the combination of the music on the stereo, the bag of flour, and the weight of his son in his arms. Daphne stared at Niles like he'd gone mad as he laughed, almost uncontrollably. David starting to stir at the commotion. Daphne took their son and started to soothe him again as Niles struggled to gain his composure.
"What on earth is so funny?" Daphne was completely baffled at the sudden outburst.
Niles caught his breath before he replied.
"Oh, I just remembered something, about when I-" A thought occurred to him. "Wait, wait - do you remember this?"
Niles scooped up the sack of flour and held it against his shoulder identical to how he held David moments ago, and started swaying to the music that was barely audible from the living room. Daphne's hand flew to her mouth as she remembered, and she started to giggle as Niles started laughing again. Within seconds, they were both in hysterics, and David crankily voiced his annoyance in being awoken.
The two new parents sobered enough to settle David again, and put him into the bassinet in the living room, before going to finish unpacking the shopping in the kitchen.
But the sight of the flour sack sent them both into hysterics again as soon as they entered the kitchen.
"I'd completely forgotten all about your flour child, Niles. And here I was, thinking David was your first."
"Do you remember what Eddie ended up doing to my flour sack?" Niles chuckled at the thought.
"Yes, but I remember what you did to it first."
"Oh, yeah... I wasn't exactly the best father to it, was I?" He grinned sheepishly.
Daphne looked at Niles, curious.
"What made you think of it, after all this time?"
"The bag of flour you bought. And the Brahms playing on the stereo, too, I think." He gestured towards the living room. "I played Brahms for the flour sack, and I remember I accidentally skewered the poor thing when conducting with a chopstick."
Daphne shook her head, laughing again.
"I don't remember you mentioning that, but I do remember the matching bandages on the sides of the bag. It must have been quite the forceful thrust."
They collapsed into giggles again as Niles spoke.
"It was a particularly energetic part of the piece. I may have gotten a tad carried away..."
"Well, you're forbidden from conducting around David until he is walking at least. So he has a fighting chance to escape you."
"Oh, real children are much harder to impale, I'm sure."
When Daphne looked at Niles horrified, he waved his hands in defense.
"I'm joking, I'm joking..."
"I know, but that reminded me of a similar argument you tried to make, after you set your flour sack on fire."
Niles stared at her for a moment as he remembered.
"Oh, my god, I did, didn't I. What did I say? Something about a real child crying before catching alight?"
"I still can't believe that you managed to do that. How close to the fireplace did you place it, anyway?"
"Too close, apparently."
They dissolved into giggles again at the thought.
"Remind me why it was near the fireplace in the first place?"
Niles shook his head, still giggling.
"Oh, you remember why, you just want to hear me say it again."
"Yes, I do. Humor me, Niles" Daphne grinned.
"I... I kicked it... into... the koi pond." Niles managed to say between gasps of laughter. "Eddie probably did the best thing possible putting the poor flour sack out of its misery. Who knows how else I would have tortured it?"
Daphne snorted.
"Short of running it over with the car, I don't think there was much left that you could have done."
"It did slide off the roof of my car at one point, so that kinda counts."
Still laughing and playfully shoving each other, they finally finished putting away the groceries - the bag of flour tenderly put away in the pantry. They headed back into the living room and sat on the fainting couch. Daphne laid down and rested her head on Niles' lap, and closed her eyes as Niles gently stroked her forehead. He looked over at his son, sleeping peacefully in the bassinet next to them, and felt completely and utterly content. Niles didn't think pretending a flour bag was a baby could have ever given him any experience close to resembling the peace and happiness he felt at the sight of his wife and child. He realized now that nothing could have prepared him for how much he loved being a father.
"It was a bit of a misguided experiment, thinking I could replicate raising a child so easily."
Daphne opened her eyes and looked up at him.
"I wouldn't say that. To be honest, I thought it was sweet, that you wanted to be a father, and wanted to try and see what that would be like. I won't lie, it was an attractive look for you, too."
Niles looked at Daphne, surprised.
"You found me holding a bag of flour attractive?"
She smiled, trying not to laugh again at the thought.
"No, the idea of you as a father. Wanting to be a father. Taking the time to experience it. It was a good look for you. I remember thinking how attractive it was at the time, as silly as everyone else found it."
"Well, if I knew back then that you found that so attractive about me, I probably would have raised several flour children. Just for you." He chuckled quietly. "It's probably a good thing I didn't find out then. Saved the rest of them from the same fate."
Daphne was thoughtful for a moment.
"I remember that I was surprised that it was something you wanted, or at least wanted enough to go through with looking after a bag of flour. Maris didn't strike me as someone who would have wanted children."
"She wasn't. But I was still deep in denial about that at the time. And I think I came out of that experiment believing I wasn't father material. But, so far, I've proven that wrong. Thankfully." Niles leaned forward and kissed Daphne. "Probably because I'm not doing it alone. I've got you."
"Oh yes, you were a single father to your flour child. I'm surprised you managed as well as you did then. I would have gone crazy. Sometimes I feel like I am, and I've got you helping."
He chuckled.
"I think I did. I remember trying to replicate overnight feeds, diaper changes, naptime... Alarms going off every couple of hours. It was torture at the time. Though, changing a diaper on a bag of flour at 2am is entirely different to changing one on a squirming 3 month old." Niles smiled, remembering the last couple of months since becoming a father. "I'm glad I've got you, and I'm able to help you share the load."
Daphne reached up, and stroked his cheek tenderly.
"I'm so lucky that I have you, Niles. You really are a wonderful father. And husband. I love you." Niles blushed at her praise.
"Well, it really helps that I have such an amazing and beautiful woman in my life, as both my wife and mother of my child."
Niles looked back at his son, and smiled.
"We created that... It still amazes me, whenever I look into his eyes." Daphne smiled, in total agreement.
"He was always going to be perfect, what with you as his father."
She started to giggle a bit again.
"But, I have to say, David's a lot cuter than your flour sack was. But then again I'm biased, sorry."
"No, no. I agree." He thought for a moment. "David is a lot messier, though."
"Not when Eddie was through with it."
They started laughing again at the thought of Eddie tearing into the bag of flour Niles had left 'napping' on Frasier's sofa, and the absolute chaos as flour went everywhere. David stirred slightly, and they did their best to stop laughing until their son settled back to sleep. They lapsed into silence again, lost in their own thoughts, and just enjoying the moment together, with their son.
"I don't know if I can cook dinner tonight." Daphne mused.
"Hmm? Why not?"
"I need to use the flour, and I don't have the heart to do that to your first child."
Niles chuckled.
"How about we just order a pizza then."