I realize how different this is, and I am aware that the following doesn't go along quite like this, but pretty please with Easter Candy on top go along with it.
-----------------------------
The following weeks after Carlotta's diva tantrum went by slowly, what with the agonizing politeness we all had to exert for Carlotta. No longer could we talk when she sang, when she entered the room we were to stand and then sit after she did, we couldn't whisper in each others ears around her, lest she think we were talking about her and I saw Erik more than I would have liked, but thankfully he stopped making death threats. Only the 'I'll choke you until you look like a Smurf' kind of threat. Only, not in those exact words.
But there was a saving sanity in these weeks; I saw Raoul quite a bit. In fact, nearly every day. He always saw Christine first, and then myself.
He was always keenly polite and sometimes even brought me little gifts, but every once in a while when I would suddenly look at him, he would be looking at me with an odd gleam in his eyes. When I asked, he would always say the same thing.
"It's nothing." And then start talking about something completely random. It was the same for today too.
We were sitting in one of the reception rooms where the other ballet girls were all sitting with beaux and flirting something terrible. "Why is it that if I suddenly look at you, you have such an odd look in your eyes?" I asked, suddenly turning to face him and already knowing the answer.
"It's nothing. Say, Fleur, have you been to the café down by the market?" He asked.
Suddenly I remembered that night when I had seen that crazy man tried to hurt Christine, but I quickly shoved the painful memories out, saying "No, the girls and I always go down to the one on Boulevard Des Capucines." thinking of the cafe I had been to only once.
"Then I must take you there! Would you like to go?" He asked, standing up and taking my hand. I smiled, and he helped me out of the seat, taking my smile as a 'yes'.
I felt a little guilty pang in my stomach, thinking of Christine, but hurriedly tried to suppress it. I didn't want to spoil my having dinner with Raoul, not when I was wearing my pretty new dress that fitted my figure perfectly.
My old one had been worn and twice mended, and finally Mme Giry declared I needed a new one. So she sent me out with Meg and Christine and before I stepped out the door she pressed a few francs in my palm. I tried to decline her money and hand it back, claiming that I had money of my own, but she put a finger to her lips and gently pushed me out the door.
Christine, Meg and I looked in all the fabric shop windows and it wasn't until we came to one of the last shops did I find a fabric that I absolutely fell in love with. It was a white fabric with emerald flower pattern that reminded me so much of Scarlett O'Hara's barbeque dress that I absolutely had to have it.
We bought the fabric with the emerald pattern that, Christine declared, "Made my greenish hazel eyes turn emerald to match." And sent it so a tailor with a design that we picked out and just yesterday we picked it up.
"Fleur," Raoul said as we were walking down to the café (his carriage man was being flirted with and we decided not to interrupt him) "I know I've already said this, but how pretty your eyes are. They look like twin emeralds." I blushed and looked down. He was so sweet.
I reached up to my neck where I had a little ring attached (yes, I had partly gotten the idea from Christine's secret engagement in the movie) to turn it over and over like I usually as a nervous habit, but my fingers met bare skin.
I looked down as far as I could, straining my neck as I felt along my neck for my necklace, but still I felt only skin.
"Raoul!" I cried, grabbing his arm. He stopped and looked at me concernedly.
"What is it?" He asked, looking into my eyes. For a split second I felt butterflies, but the matter at hand was too pressing to waist time on little 'feelings'.
"My necklace! You know, the one with the ring on it, it's gone!" I said, squatting down to the ground to try and find it. "Did you see it on me when we left the Opera House?" I asked, feeling along the sidewalk.
"Yes, but, Fleur, here, you'll ruin your pretty new dress. I'll find it for you." Raoul said, reaching a hand down to help me straighten up.
I grudgingly took his hand, and stood back as he re-traced our steps to find the little ring that I set such a store by.
True it was only a hunk of colored crystal, but back in my past life I had lost my silver cross, so I had used an opal ring (my birthstone) as a substitute, partly because it made me feel like Christine during the Masquerade part when she had a secret engagement, and since then I had always used a ring as my cross, so losing this one was just like losing my cross. I was devastated.
A few minutes later Raoul came back with my ring, and gave it back to me, saying "I couldn't find the chain, but I found the ring." He looked as eager as a little boy; like I imagined he had when he rescued Christine's scarf from the sea.
"It's no matter; I can wear it on my hand." I said as I unconsciously slipped it onto my ring finger. I had always worn rings on that finger before, wishing to the dear Man Upstairs that that ring had been given to me by the man now taking my hand, and walking beside me to the little café.
I quickly realized my err, and, hoping Raoul didn't notice, I slid the ring off my ring finger, and onto the opposite fourth finger.
Even after I got back I tried to steer clear of Christine and Meg. I felt guilty after 'stealing her man' and I knew that Christine wouldn't be very pleased. I wasn't worried about her being angry, no, I was afraid of the hurt look in her eyes that made your heart ache.
True I loved being with Raoul, but deep in my stomach there was always that tug of conscience that said 'he belongs to Christine, leave him alone' but my heart would always pull me to him again. I knew exactly how Scarlett in 'Gone with the Wind' felt.
She wanted so desperately to be a great and kind person, but then the nagging fear of starvation and losing the thing she loved best always drove her to be ruthless and do whatever it took to get money to keep Tara and food on the table.
I wanted to let Raoul alone, and see him happy with Christine, but I knew that she was delusional with Erik, and I could tell that Raoul was still hurt, no matter how much he tried to hide his feelings. And I couldn't let him go because, it seemed to be so selfish whenever I thought about it, but I knew that so many girls would truly kill to be in my position, and I knew that I was lucky to be here, and I wanted to live it up, because I never knew if I was still alive and only having the greatest dream of my life, or if I was really in Heaven.
It was the last reason that haunted my dreams that night. I was tortured into sleep with the ever persisting battle of 'do I leave Raoul alone or not because we all know who gets him in the end' and it was only after I mentally screamed Scarlett's charm "I won't think of it now, I'll think of it later when I can stand it." did I finally fall into a frightening dream state.