Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or plot points. I make no money out of this.

Chapter 2 – Preparations

I can feel their gazes upon me as I walk out of the room, probing, questioning, accusing. They burn into my back, the silent, assessing glares, and I can hear their unvoiced suspicions, their unspoken speculations. They are wondering what task has fallen to me. They are wondering what task is so secret, so dangerous that even Dumbledore seems afraid to give to me. They are wondering what is causing my arms to tremble, my face to turn paler, my stride to falter. Oh if only they knew, they would not now throw these hostile looks at me.

But I am mistaken there. Even if they did know my burden, they would still hate me. Knowledge alone does not give rise to understanding, to trust. I fear I shall never receive that, no matter what I do for them.

For to them I am merely a surly and mean teacher, who delights in taking points off little children. Even worse, I am an ex-death eater and they will never believe that I have really changed, that I am on their side now, fighting against my former companions. They are yet children, seeing the world in black and white, a fight between the noble, heroic good and the cruel and devious evil. They do not recognize the grey shade in between, the area in which I dwell.

Never mind. Why should it matter to me? Why should I care that their eyes always exclude me, always doubt me. After all, I do not do this to gain popularity or favour amongst them, I do this to protect them. I care not for what they think. I am used to the dislike of others. There is but one person in the room I truly care about, and it is for him and him alone that I go to do what I go to do.

At the thought of the task ahead, fear once again starts rising inside me. It had been 13 years, 13 years in which I had been content to think that I would not have to play the part of the spy. 13 wonderful years when I could live my life simply, with no deceptions, no double roles. I had come to hope that the day would never come when I had to once again face the monster I used to call my master.

But it is dangerous to hope, for hopes are very often dashed.

I knew the second I felt the dark mark burn upon my arm that he was back. I knew at that moment that my…services…would be required. And after 13 years of freedom, I was afraid to once again look at that snake-like face, at those silted eyes filled with evil and menace. And this time it would be even more dangerous. The last time I went, I was on his side, my loyalty was true; the peril was less. But now, to walk up to the dark lord already late, coming straight from the home of his greatest enemy, with treachery in your heart and to make him believe that you were his most loyal servant…I laugh mentally at the sheer stupidity of what I was attempting to do.

Amused that I could find humour in this predicament, I keep walking until I reach the outskirts of Hogwarts. There I stop, and steel myself for what is to come. Beyond this place, I could carry none of my fears, for fears were a luxury I could not afford. From now on, all emotions had to be kept in check, for they were weaknesses that were sure to leave me exposed in front of the dark lord.

I don the long black robes of the death eaters that I had brought with me, and put on the white mask. But the mask I put on my emotions and thoughts is much more important. I throw up the shields in my eyes and put up the barriers around my heart. I force my face to be expressionless, impassive, and unreadable by outside eyes. I push aside Severus Snape, and put on the mantle of Snape, the death eater.

My preparations finally complete, I take the final steps out of Hogwarts, and apparate, leaving the great castle looming behind.

A/N: Amazingly, I did find the time to continue this quite fast. Upon looking back, I realized that the first chapter was really too short, I was hoping it would be brief and impactful but I decided that more was needed. This chapter is kind of an extension of that and also does not have any action. That will be in the next chapter when the face-off between Voldemort and Snape actually happens. So until then, do enjoy!

fire-forged