Erin had just gotten Elise down to sleep when a sharp rapping at the front door caught her attention. Frowning, she made her way down the rest of the stairs and over to doorway, peeking out the window to see who was there. That frown deepened when she saw that it was Haley Hotchner, and she debated whether to let her inside. "I know you're in there, Erin! I saw the light upstairs just turn off!"
Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and opened it, trying to look every inch the Ice Queen she was called behind her back at work. "May I help you, Mrs. Hotchner?"
"We need to talk."
"We do?" she asked as the woman pushed her way inside, stamping the slush off her boots as she thrust a baby carrier in Erin's general direction. Acting on pure instinct, she took hold of it and looked down into the chubby, angelic, face of the Hotchner baby, a tender smile flitting across her features before she schooled them into a cool mask once more. "I will thank you to be quiet. Elise has just gone down for her nap, and I don't want her woken up."
Desperately, she wished that David was there to act as a buffer, but he had been called away back to New York in order to have some pictures taken for the dust jacket of his new book. And she had chosen a time when the children were at school, which meant that there would be no interruptions from them, either. "Oh, I know how to keep my voice down, believe me. I like it when Jack naps, too, and won't do anything to disturb him during those times. But Elise is exactly who I came here to discuss."
A sinking feeling filled the pit of Erin's stomach, and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down as she showed Haley into the living room, knowing that it would most likely be far enough away to not bother Elise should their voices get loud. "Does Aaron know that you're here?" she asked as she sank down into the wing back chair that she had claimed for her own when she wasn't on the sofa. She looked down her nose at Haley, trying to appear unruffled as Haley took a seat on the sofa, setting the baby carrier down at her feet.
"Aaron is away on a case, so what do you think, Erin?"
"I think that you've chosen a course of action that is less than wise, Mrs. Hotchner. What name did you end up with for your son?"
That question seemed to throw her off her game, and she blinked owlishly before replying. "We settled on Jack, even though Aaron didn't like it because of the connection to Jack the Ripper. I reminded him that not everyone hunts serial killers like he does every day, and so no one would make that connection outside the BAU."
Erin nodded a little. "Jack is a good name, and I think that you're right in this case. Unless you're a death enthusiast, there won't be that connotation." Haley dipped her chin, as if not quite willing to concede that Erin had agreed with her. Still, it was nice to see her shoulders relax a little as she glanced down at Jack, rocking his car seat a little with her foot.
"You need to tell me the truth, though, Erin. It won't go beyond these four walls, but I have to know for my own peace of mind. Aaron keeps telling me that Dave is her father, but there's this hesitancy about the way he says it, as if he's trying to convince himself of the lie. So, tell me the truth, Erin. Who is Elise's father?"
She blanched and swallowed thickly as she focused her attention on Jack. "The truth is that David's name is on Elise's birth certificate as her father. There's nothing else that I can tell you. What happened between Aaron and myself was a mistake that we both made in the heat of the moment, and had we both not been drunk, one of us would have chosen differently."
"And were you really having an affair with Dave at the same time? Remember, he's close friends with Aaron, and we never had the slightest clue that he was in a relationship with anyone."
"Well, we wanted to keep things quiet, since I was having that affair. I did cheat on my husband, and there is nothing in the world that will ever make that right, even as we did finalise our divorce last week. In Virginia, you can fast track things if you can prove infidelity, and nothing screams that quite so much as a baby born after the husband has had a vasectomy."
"Did you do a paternity test?"
She should have known that Haley would jump on that opening she had provided, but it still was a bit of a shock to her. Blinking a few times, she cleared her throat before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. "There was no need to do so, since Alan could prove that he had his vasectomy. My easy ways caught up to me, and while there's nothing that I can do to fix the situation, between all of us, I at least have my little tagalong miracle."
Haley cocked her head to one side as she stared at Erin. For a moment, it felt like she could read every lie on Erin's face, and she tried to school her features into a mask that concealed everything about what she was feeling. The other woman wasn't buying it though, and Erin licked her lips nervously as she fidgeted with her skirt, trying to think of how to answer her next question. "You're not as good of a liar as you think you are, Erin. There's too much guilt in your eyes to even start to be masked by a hard look. I promise, I won't tell Aaron the truth that he seems to be buying from you and Dave, but mother to mother, let me know. Did my husband father your child?"
The raw pain in Haley's voice caused Erin to tear up, and she tried to surreptitiously swipe away the first drops that started to roll down her cheeks, only for Haley to frown at her. "I need to protect my Elise, you have to understand that. She is the only thing that matters in this quagmire that seems to have sprung up between us all. Well, her and Jack. They're the innocents here. Please, tell me that you understand that."
"I think that I do, Erin."
"I did not start a physical relationship with David until after Alan and I were separated. But he was the first person that I thought of to contact when I did find out I was carrying Aaron's baby, since he is such close friends with your husband. He told me that he would always support me, no matter my choice. And I chose Elise. And so, he chose us, and is Elise's father. That is the way it will always be, I hope you understand. I need it to be that way, to protect her."
Haley looked down at Jack, tears of her own slipping down her face as she nodded. "I do think I have a better understanding for coming here. Thank you for your candor with me. Do, do you think I could see her before we leave?"
"Of course. Follow me." Erin rose to her feet and beckoned for Haley to follow her up to the nursery, knowing that it was almost time to feed her anyway, so it wouldn't matter if they woke her up at this point. Opening the nursery door, Erin drew in a deep breath and stepped inside, heading over to the crib and lifting her up. "Here she is," she breathed out as she took a seat in the rocking chair.
"She's tiny."
"She's a lot bigger than when she was born. My delicate little doll of a baby." Haley nodded as she set Jack's carrier onto the floor and knelt down to look at Elise closely. "I know that you can't ever forgive me for what happened…"
"You were drunk, my husband was drunk, neither of you could give consent, so it's not like it was done on purpose. But you and David created a beautiful daughter." Their eyes met, and Erin nodded, smiling through her tears as the implications of those words settled onto her heart, letting her know that maybe, just maybe, everything would be all right.
