Rating: M

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing.

A/N: Pay attention to the dates. This chapter is Sousukes view.

The things in the diary are product of mind under mental defect, or not?

Near the end

-

4/22/2006

Early Morning, i saw storm approaching just a few minutes ago.

Interrogation room, TDD-1.

In cranky boat, drift is dragging me. And I'm asking myself, where i wanted to float.
Its slowly getting darker.
Deep water don't give me an answer, I'm still missing, I'm still searching.
I should watch better.
The drift is growing stronger, chute is approaching.
I don't want to dream, even when my eyes are gluing.
I want to see everything that bright, as if the day was.
And when i turn, i am in shock, from my own head full of anger and cheap vintage.
Visionary and liar to myself, i drowned my dream.
Sad view to the group on the coast.
Our honor is, in this bizarre story, desperately changing.
Clowns are, in the villas, drunk by power.
And I'm asking, if after this, can dawn be again?
Roses to ears, and deaf people don't guess, that substance already won upon soul.
Next station is hell, even that promised was paradise.
Cash are true, content is form and boldly lie is for next time norm.
Into the brain cruel reality is drilling, that shadow fell upon the earth...

-

"This is interrogation, writing is not allowed." She said and leaned her back on the wall.

But i kept writing, whatever she thought, only writing disconnected me from the madness and my retrieved memories of horror, no one could possibly imagine. I told the truth to them hundreds of times, but they were just saying that i am crazy and schizophrenic. Well, i am not sure about it, but everyone is little crazy. Maybe i just passed the limit.

"I said stop writing into that book!" She shouted and with anger punched, with both hands, into the table.

"Its my diary, not a book." I answered and laid the pen beside it.

Who would say that Sgt. Major Mao couldn't recognize the diary.

"Just tell me, what you did at that fishing town?" Mellisa asked, staring in my eyes.

I stared too, after a moment she winced back. The horrors i saw, were visible in my eyes too. Eyes were losing colors as i remembered again, not the town itself was scary, but that month i forgot, that month i didn't control myself. Only few things are lost and with every step back from amnesia, the horrible pictures are appearing and insanity is taking over me.

"Nothing... just... just... normal vacation." My voice was jumping in tone, i needed to calm myself.

Normal vacation didn't describe the horrors i saw, the things i remembered. What i wanted to forget.

"And the explosion of it?" She turned the lamp right into my eyes and the light blinded me. This question hit me, but hell, it didn't matter.

"I don't know..."

"We know that you were searching for someone who knows about the black technology." At the fishing town? Whats Mithril up to?

She didn't know anything. Black technology is nothing compared to the danger i saw.
Indescribable things.

"Do you remember any of the old fishing tales, and ocean stories in the books?" I asked her, now staring in her eyes again.

"I don't believe in fairy-tales." She didn't know a slightest bit.

"Thats your opinion, i know that some of them are true..."

I probably hit the nail into the head. She needed to regroup her questions and i needed to regroup my memory to keep my hand off shaking. I hide it under the table, she didn't notice it. The green veins on it were swollen, and sweat appeared. What is with me? The light what shined in my eyes, was deadly, i needed to destroy it, i needed to kill it, i needed to kill her. No! So the diagnosis was true, i really am crazy.

I was... no snap out of it, don't remember!
Mao already prepared another set of questions, torture continued. I switched views of her, lamp and my unfinished day in diary.

"I will ask only once more. What was your business there?" She really was desperate.

But i don't answered her, i had to keep my hand steady.
After a while she sat at chair before me.

"So... how long were you in Bohnm?" She knew what worked on me.

Bohnm asylum, although that i remember only five days, it was hell. Bugs, four white tiled walls, thick metal door with grates. Disgusting plank-bed with leather belts as bounds and no windows.

If i controlled myself whole time, i would surely kill myself. Its not building for a normal people. And i am not a schizophrenic, or am i? I don't know. I don't remember. I don't want to remember.

"For eternity..." Luckily no memories came back this time.

"We are friends, so if you tell me, no more sanatoriums." Mellisa is a strange friend. Why the hell was she doing that interrogation?

But i couldn't possibly stand against this kind of blackmail and she knew it. My head turned to the mirror on the right wall. It was mirror from one side, transparent on the other. And i wondered who stood behind it. Major Kalinin probably, maybe Kurz. Just how did i get myself in this kind of situation. Tell her or not.
I tried to explain it to them, but no one believed me, they thought that its aftermath of asylum. It was only choice, i couldn't lost much, because i lost everything already. Only one thing remained...

"But if you keep wandering in your thoughts as now, there will be no other choice..." She was cold, but i heard regret in her voice, maybe someone forced her to say it.

"I don't know..."

"Don't give me that crap and start talking!" She shouted, i could smell the anger.

"Ok." I gave up, no more Bohnm.

"I started my personal investigation about that man who wanted to build his base on the Devil's Reef, i mean that island my AS was destroyed, and it led me into that old fishing town. Locals weren't much friendly and only registry office was 'open' to my investigation. The history books there, were dated only to 1950, so not much came from it, until..." I lost my voice, i couldn't just tell it.

"Until?" She asked with excitement in her voice.

"I don't remember it." That was, the time i started to remember that month, what amnesia disguised.

Mellisa cracked with her fingers and crack which it made, reminded me something. Cracking of fish bone. Bone of that creatures i saw.

"Well, so say hello for me in Bohnm." She only acted, i knew it, but still...

"Fuck you." But still, i had some anger in me.

She winced back again, probably hit by my anger and coarse language. My whole body stood in one motion, i knocked over the lamp and nearly destroyed the table, as i lifted it up and beat to the walls with it. When i calmed down a little, Mellisa in shock sat on the chair. I turned at her, fear was visible in her eyes.

"Go to hell with your torture..."

My hand grabbed the destroyed lamp and i came closer to her, she fell down, the shards on the ground cut her as she crawl backwards. Door opened quickly and guards took me with them, i couldn't resit it, my insanity finally got me. I could do nothing. Paranoia spread through my mind. I and two crew members were headed in enlighten corridor, they bound my hands with their owns, in handcuffs. No escape. The picture of falling diary opened before my eyes. Now everybody could read in it. I needed to obtain it back. Dammit.

-

"He's total nutcase..." Kurz Weber said, just after the guards with Sousuke left.

"I know, first hand evidence." Mellisa took out one shard what remained in her body.

"Don't say that about him. Something happened to him." Captain Testarossa said and opened the door to the room again.

"You're right,if you mean his metal stability." Kurz said, but both women were already gone.

On the ground laid a closed book with Sgt.Sagara written on the cover,Tessa pick it up and opened at random page.
Many of days were written in simple soldier language. For example, Hits: 10, Shouts: 32, Lucks: 0, Lecture: 25. Probably days with Kaname.
Then she listed near the end.

-

4/9/2006

Afternoon

Coast of this old fishing town.

I just encountered one of those things, so called 'deep ones', he/she/it had a wooden stick with the crystal in the middle of it. Firstly i tried to use the pistol, but bullets were just entering the meat, nothing more. This was more than that things in the town, it casted something with the crystal and wind assaulted me violently, i fell and only weapon i had disappeared, i saw the face of it, this was probably the breed with humans which seems to...

Tessa with fear closed the book. Is he really insane? Or is this truth?

-

They threw me back into my cabin and locked it, again. I sat at my bed and thought about events of my past month, memory what i couldn't get out of my head, nonsense things and other waves of destruction. First thing what entered my mind was, as that creature attacked me on that coast, it tossed me and my gun was out of range. That magic it used, made my head spin around and go crazy. It tried to suck my memory about my first encounter on that island, at that time i didn't remember it. And then of course, Maria haunted me again...
Snap out of it! Why am i thinking about those things, if they aren't true? Suddenly lock at the door clicked, and i prepared for death by hands of one of those monsters.
Maybe paranoia filled my brain, but it was only a madam Captain.

"Sgt. Sagara." She said with my diary in her hands, i just watched the window before me apathetically.

"I wanted to give this back to you." She handed me my diary.

"Are the things in it true?"

"Just don't dive." I watched the approaching storm from the cabin window.

She sat at the bed beside me.

"Why? The storm will hit us if we don't." I couldn't simply say that Darwin made a mistake.

"If we do, we will die. Believe me, don't dive. Today at least." My voice was calm, even that i want to made a demand.

"I can't change the plans just for your good feeling." Apparently, she missed the point.

"We will made the whole R'lyeh rise,if we do!" I instinctively grabbed her shoulders and shouted at her.

She was in shock.
She just opened the door and walked away, i heard the click of the lock. The submarine remained in place, for now...