Rating: M

Disclaimer: Why to bother.

A/N: His view again.

When the stars are right, part 1

Confinement

-

4/22/2006

Late evening, storm is here.

Cabin, Tuatha de Danaan

(This is completion from morning)

Close your eyes and listen. I will be here with you for a while.
Money, money is moving with world.
Join in and then with machinegun, you can designate right.
You must choose the right side.
Agree and walk, or you get hit.
Don't want to think with head.
We can grant us with gadgetry of era and into pint were hissing words full of venom.
Toxic spit is verification.
"He have this and that have even more"
"And i want that too!", is shouting from full lungs.
What is waiting for us? Where the river is taking us?
Where 'our' earth is heading?

Don't worry, i don't want you to suffer anymore. Maybe its better like that...

-

When i wrote these words, i heard helicopter landing. They were risking, in this weather, just to land at TDD-1, idiots. I chose it, as i written in my diary just moment ago. I planned to end it that day, but to do it, i needed few things. Rope or cord, or something like that.
Many times i considered ending my torment either with a bullet, a noose, or a vial of poison. They confiscated my pistol and i didn't have a poison there, so i chose the noose. But will it end it? As i sat there on ground, my back leaned on the locked door of my own cabin. I read my entry in diary and thought. Will someone miss me? No. My eyes landed on word money. Why did they built the Marsh refinery, why did they chose to become monsters? For money, gold of strange whitish color. I closed the diary and saw carvings on the floor. Creatures and sacred symbols drew into the metal, with sharp piece of steel. Then i controlled my watch, it was time. Someone knocked aloud on my door.

"Hey, urinal time." Someone, with voice i didn't know, said.

I heard the click of lock and crew member opened the door. My head fell down, because i wasn't prepared. He immediately placed handcuffs on my hands and led me through the corridor. I walked with him. We stopped before toilets and he opened the handcuffs and locked me again in there. I looked around the middle sized room and thought about what i needed to do. Drifting water entered my ears, loud, strong drift of water. Therapy they called it, firstly splashed my whole body with water and then placed a hissing device in the middle of the room. Electroshocks, popular treatment in Bohnm. When i shook the memory, i started my action. On one wall, device what pumped the water to all things in bathroom, caught my sight. I placed my both hands on hose, which led from it and tried to break it down. After a moment, i had hose in my hands and splashed face from the water. I forgot to turn it off. Then i flushed the toilet with remaining water.

"Done?" The man asked, as he again put handcuffs on my hands.

"Yes..." I said and hoped, that he will not notice the hose chained on my chest.

As we came through corridors, i saw something. Strange, am i seeing things again? Group of crew members walked before me and seemed to be guarding someone. That performance started a new fear in me. That chopper, who came out from it? Man placed me in my cabin and locked it again. I sat and my eyes glued with lamp, which hung from ceiling. I unbound the cord chained to my chest and placed it beside me. For a while my mind drifted somewhere else again. I felt an anguish, but not from the act i wanted to do, but from the person i saw. Then i looked at my hands, suddenly they were filled with blood and then again weren't. Picture of my gun in hands of that man, and blood from his brain what imbued me.

"Daddy?" I heard almost echoing voice, subdued and dead.

"I want my daddy back..." I didn't know if the sounds simply came from my mind, or were in this cabin.

But slowly i turned to my left and saw deep scratches on face again. Then almost, as a flash it disappeared. I cradled my head and thought about nice things, with no success. Then my head started to ache, mouth opened itself and words came from it. Words i didn't know, words i remembered. That month, maybe that month i learned this.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn..." I knew this words, this language, but yet my mind couldn't translate it.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh..." When i said this phrase, it reminded me that i haven't got any home or house.

"...Cthulhu R'lyeh..." R'lyeh was a city deep under the ocean built by 'Old Ones', i didn't know how, but i simply knew this. But Cthulhu?

This word horrified me for some reason, whatever it meant, sure it was disgusting and horrible.

"...wgah'nagl fhtagn..." When this left my mouth, i felt almost as a dreaming and started to feel dizzy.

Then thing what crazy Azif written in his Necronomicon, entered my mind and i started to say this couplet.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons, even death may die." When i repeated this for a sixth time, word 'Cthulhu' haunted me again, but why.

Those things ensured me, in the thing i wanted to do.

After some time, my eyes opened and laid at the hose beside me. I grabbed the hose and tossed it over the lamp, on the ceiling, when i did it for a third time, it finally remained there. I did a knot down and carefully pulled with cord on one side, the knot remained on the lamp and mounted whole thing. Then another knob down and thing was done. I took a small cabinet and placed it under my noose. I sat at the cabinet, again, in my hands, diary laid and i read my last words addressed to Kaname. Sound of closing was somewhat loud, as if it mattered. Then, as i lifted my eyes up, i looked through the noose. Diary was still in my hands, when first of my legs placed onto the cabinet and i still held it, when i stood on it fully. Better die now, than let that prophecy come true. I tried to shake the tension a little. My empty hand placed the noose over my neck and everything was set.

"I am sorry..."

I apologized with last whisper into the empty room. My legs started to move and tried to knock over the cabinet under my legs. My diary still in my hands. When i finally succeeded and cabinet fell over, i coughed, as noose narrowed on my neck. I was choking. This could last for ten minutes even. Diary fell on ground and opened where the pages were torn off. My eyes darkened and it was almost over, when my body winced down a little. This surprised me. It winced again and i heard some noise in the middle of a cord, it was tearing with my weight. Shit. I heard a click of lock once again. Crew men with someone, were in corridor, before my cabin, one of them ran towards me in order to catch me and lift me up, but the hose broke and i fell onto ground. The fall was hard, i fell unconscious.

-

What is it? Where the portal led?
What did you saw?
"Like a banana i fell into the mixture of blood, fish bones and crap... Mixer started to spin..."
What is happening?
"Khlul'-hloo... Clooloo... Kuh-thu-lu... Clulu... Koot-u-lew... Thul-hu"
"Mirrors, windows - spinning around..."

-

I woke up, with my hands bound, in the interrogation room. Handcuffs were on some railing, on the wall and i sat on chair.
TDD-1 suddenly changed the angle. They're diving. Mao came into the room.

"I have a present for you..." She said and waved with my forfeited furlough certificate.

Shit! I said to myself. When i saw the 'present'.

"Fuck you all!" I shouted, when i saw the figure in doctor cloak.

"Its nice to meet you again, Sgt. Sagara." Doctor said and one man behind him pulled, that dammed device, with two cords leading from it, behind him.

"Shit! No, this is not happening..." He wore gloves, which protected him from the volts.

Device with a click of its button turned on, Dr. Relmmih grabbed cords and waited for it to warm up. When he scratch together with it, the small blue lighting suggested, that it was warm enough. Relmmih had a smile as always, music entered my mind. Gramophone record played with scratches in it. Dorie, Dorie, Dorie... the cords came closer. I like the way you smile at me baby, i like the view from here. Cords touched with my body, the pain was indescribable. And when you call me dear. Record played in my head.

Pa pa pa pa ra pa... so baby why won't you smile for me? Another tearing pain in whole body, i was afraid that my body will be in agony after this.

Pa pa pa pa ra pa... pa ra pa...

"We want to know why that town exploded..." Mellisa said and looked as if she wanted to stop the doctor.

"I forgot..." I said and spit full of blood came from my mouth. No amps luckily.

Another shock of pain in my whole body, i felt like frying fish on plate. This reminded me my childhood, as we cooked sausages with electricity.

"We found everything about Arthur, so speak." Doctor said and wanted to give me another present. But she stopped him.

"He told us everything..." They were bluffing. I knew that for sure. He?

"I don't believe you, but its meaningless already..." I felt the pressure before my eyes.

Another pain, in my mind were changing pictures of this and when he did it before in Bohnm.

"I... hate... A-r-k-h-a-m-'s..." My mouth suddenly spelled. Doctor looked like if he was scared.

"I... hate the... underg..." Relmmih covered my mouth, as i wanted to say something, what would surely put him into jail, or maybe some worse place.

Now he almost pumped me with volts and i lost my consciousness once again.

Strange feeling haunted me, and my dream signified, that he wasn't alone on that helicopter.