"Head's up, when we get home, I want you to call Jordan into your office. She needs to talk to someone, and I don't think that Emily or Penelope are going to be able to get through to her."
Erin frowned a little as she turned her head to stare at her bonsai tree. "What's wrong with her?" she asked, wincing at how sharp her voice sounded. While Elise had seemed to get over her illness quite quickly, she seemed to have picked up a lingering malaise that wasn't bad enough for her to go to the doctor, but was still enough to affect her mood. "And before you say it, I know. If I still feel rundown by the end of the week, I'll see if my doctor can see me during my lunch break."
"You're getting good at reading my mind, stellina. And there's nothing really wrong, per se, but Jordan is struggling with what we see on our cases. I have the feeling that whatever she might see in counterterrorism is a lot less bloodless than being the media liaison of our team. The cases we deal with, having death so close to us, well, I think it's taking a far too heavy toll on her."
Erin sighed as she rubbed her temple with her free hand, trying to stave off the headache she could feel forming behind her eyes. "When do you think you'll be back?"
"We're taking off at seven, and it takes about four fours, so we'll probably be arriving back at the bullpen around four. I can make certain that she sleeps while on the plane, so that she can have a coherent conversation with you. Which, given how this case turned out, I think will suit her just fine."
"All right, and I'll try to make certain that I don't bite her head off. Is there anything in particular that you think I should talk to her about?"
"How difficult it can be to separate yourself from what you're seeing. Use your experience in Milwaukee to build a connection with her. I just don't want Jen to feel like she has to return to us before she's ready. Especially with it being so close to Christmas."
She nodded as she let out a deep breath, knowing that he was completely right. "Fine, send her to me the moment you step out of the elevators on our floor. And let Aaron know that this is the team's last case until after the holiday. Maybe the longer break will help settle some of the uneasy feelings for her, as well."
"I'll let him know that, Erin. And I'll see you soon. Love you."
"Love you, too, David." They hung up and Erin let out a long breath as she thought about what she could possibly say to the younger woman. That thought occupied her mind throughout the rest of the day until she heard a timid knock on her door sometime after four. Looking up from the file she was going over, she saw that Agent Todd was standing in the doorway, a nervous smile on her lips.
"Agent Rossi said that you wanted to see me?"
Erin nodded, trying to use the same smile she used with her children to let them know they weren't in trouble as she gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. The younger woman nodded as she delicately walked over to the place indicated, the door clicking closed behind her, causing her to jump a little before she took a seat. "I wanted to touch base with you, Agent Todd. You've been with Alpha Team for five weeks now. How are you doing?"
"I think that I'm doing fine, ma'am. Why? Has someone said something about my performance?"
She hated how nervous Agent Todd sounded, and Erin cleared her throat as she picked up her glass of water and took a sip. "No, there have been no complaints. I just know that it can be a difficult transition to go from a position where you aren't face to face with the horrors that people can commit to a position with the BAU. You aren't a profiler, so you were never trained with how to deal appropriately with the feelings that come along with being in such close proximity with the awful things that you see. I should know, I was in that position myself a year ago."
"I'm sorry?"
Erin took a deep breath as she glanced at the picture of her children, trying to draw strength from their smiling faces. "I don't really like talking about myself, so I must ask that this stays between the two of us." Agent Todd nodded. "Before my David came out of retirement to fill Agent Gideon's role, there was a small gap of time, during which I had to head out onto the field with the team. The case there was brutal, and I hadn't had time to look at the case pictures before I got on the jet to head out to Milwaukee. During the course of the investigation, a stepped on one of the victim's hair, and it destroyed something in me. I was very glad to have had someone waiting for me back home, as I don't think I would have been in quite as good a position if I hadn't had him."
"Oh! Oh." Agent Todd's lower lip began to tremble, and Erin preemptively pulled out a few tissues and handed them over to her. "I have felt a little lost, especially with this last case. I know that Agent Rossi told me the unsub's family has been dead before we even arrived in Los Angeles, but I can't seem to find a way to turn off this guilt. I feel like I'm always way too late to do the right amount of good, and that I'm failing miserably."
Erin shook her head a little. "You are not failing in any way. Trust me, you are an asset to this team, and I will be sorry to see you go when Agent Jareau returns from maternity leave."
A timid smile spread across Agent Todd's lips as she nodded, becoming stronger when Erin smiled back at her. "That is wonderful to hear. How is your little girl doing?"
She recognized the deflection for what it was, but didn't mind it all that much, since she would be talking about her baby. "She's growing like a weed. This will be her fourth Christmas, and we both think that this will be the first that she truly remembers. Which is why I'm glad that David will be home for this one, since it's Alpha's turn to be home. Though I really hope that there are no pressing cases for any of the other teams over the holiday, since it is so hard to be away from family during this season."
"That is very true, yes. Well, I should let you finish your work. I know that Agent Jareau was bringing Henry in for the team to see before they went home for the evening." A wistful look quickly flitted across her face, and Erin knew what would help put Agent Todd in a better mood.
"Well, I'm going to head home and get supper started for us, so that David can eat whenever he decides to tear himself away from the newest BAU bambino. Do you want to come down to the daycare with me to pick up Elise?"
A beautiful smile spread across the woman's lips as she nodded. "I would love that, actually."
"Good. Give me two minutes to get my things together, and then we can head out." Another nod, just as enthusiastic, answered her, and Erin continued to smile as she packed her bag, understanding why David had sent this lonely soul to her. It seemed like Alpha Team was continuing to collect the broken people who just wanted to make the world a better place, and she hoped that Agent Todd would be able to go back to counterterrorism unscathed by her time in their presence.