Random stuff for Level 1

Navy Tech: Okay, let's thaw him out.

Navy Tech2:Mommy, I'm scared.

(other Navy Tech looks at him with a puzzled look)

Navy Tech:I don't understand why you're scared, he's only 2 meters tall and could crush every single bone in your body with...his...little...finger...I'm glad I'm up here and you're down there.

Navy Tech2:Gee, thanks for the support!

Navy Tech:YOU'RE NOT GRATEFUL!(runs out of the room crying but almost alerts a group of elites to his being there but ends up going back)I still don't forgive you.

Navy Tech2:I'll live.Let's just get this guy out.

(they open the cryo tube and find the M.C.is frozen in a block of ice)

Navy Tech:Can we get a couple of flame throwers in here?

(M.C.gets unfrozen and goes through the BORING instructional thing)

Keyes over intercom with party noises in the backround:Get the Cheif up here whenever you want to, we'll keep the party going until you get here.

Navy Tech2:Why are you partying at a time like this?

Keyes:...Just get him up here.

Navy Tech2:But Captain, how am I going to do that?I'm going to die when I try to get through that second door.

Keyes:On the double crewman! And stop giving away the story line!(cuts off the intercom to go back to his party)

Navy Tech2:(imitating Keyes)On the double crewman!And stop giving away the story line!

(Navy Tech gets shot apparently out of nowhere)

Navy Tech2:Come on, we gotta get the BLEEP outta here!

M.C.:What are we on, the Jerry Springer show?

(a group of people are sitting by watching this and then start chanting JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY)

M.C.:I'll stand by what I said before.

(M.C. follows the Navy Tech2 out the door and true to his word,the Navy Tech2 dies)

M.C.:Awww man, I wanted to kill him.

(M.C. proceeds to the Bridge to find that every one is dead.He then spots a piece of cake and takes his helmet off to eat it.Once he does he looks at all the dead bodies and cries like a little baby.When he turns to leave he stays there a few minutes with his back turned to his allies.

(Keyes sneaks up on the M.C.)

Keyes:APRIL FOOL'S!

M.C.:...I hate you...

Keyes:You should have seen the look on your face!HA HA HA!The mighty Master Cheif,Spartan-117,last of the Spartans,last chance to save Earth,crying like a wittle baby!

M.C.Okay, first of all, I am not the last spartan, haven't you read the novels?Second of all, I was not crying like a little baby,I was crying like a big baby.Third of all, it's May.

Keyes:STOP GIVING AWAY THE STORY LINE!

M.C...sniff...don't yell...sniff...at me!

Keyes Ooooookay then... well anyway, blah blah Cortana blah blah blah off ship blah blah. Understand?

M.C.Wow..that might take a while.

(Keyes gives M.C. a pistol)

Keyes I don't keep it loaded, Cheif, you'll have to find ammo as you go.

(M.C. shoots Keyes in the head)

M.C. NOT LOADED MY BLEEP!

(JERRY JERRY JERRY!)

Cortana Security to the bridge! the Cheif has gone rampant! Take him out!

M.C.Screw this.

(M.C. goes through the rest of the level with the marines following and shooting him. When he finally gets to the lifeboat the marines just give up and leave.)

M.C.I don't want to listen to your jabbering Cortana, so I'll just say that I'd rather stand.

(Rest of the cutscene goes on until loading screen)