Believe in Us

Chapter 1: When the Sand Runs Out

"I spent the morning at an old friend's grave
Flowers and Amazing Grace, he was a good man
He spent his whole life spinnin' his wheels
Never knowin' how the real thing feels
He never took a chance or took the time to dance
And I stood there thinking as I said goodbye
Today is the first day of the rest of my life"

Detective Mac Taylor stood outside the fence around Ground Zero. He was clutching the fence with tears falling down his cheeks talking to his wife.

"Claire, I want to move on. I know you wouldn't want me to live like this. But I still love you. If I found someone else I wouldn't love you any less, but it would feel like I was cheating on you," Mac pauses to wipe a few tears from his cheeks.

"I miss you, Claire. You were taken from me too early. You never really knew what living meant. I know you still had a lot you wanted to do with your life, and you never got to do any of these things. I told you some of the things I wanted to do, and I haven't done any of those things because I've been trying to forget you. Stella helped me realize forgetting isn't best, and now I guess I'm asking you to give me your blessing to move on."


"I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out"

"You always said the greatest risk was not taking one at all. Well, I'm going to take a huge risk and ask Stella if she wants to go out with me. Through this mess I realized that I love Stella. I am very grateful for her friendship the past five years. Stel has helped me through all of this; without her, I probably wouldn't be where I am. I think she used to feel the same way about me, but now I'm not so sure.

"The problem is Stella was just hurt very badly by her boyfriend. She tries to appear strong and all, but I know she really is in pain on the inside. This guy, Frankie, was using her. I think she really did love him though. He attacked her and Stella killed him to protect herself. Lately she has been very jumpy. I don't want to force her into something she doesn't want. Right now she probably doesn't trust anyone, including me, her best friend.

"I hope you don't mind me moving on. And I know you and Stella were friends."


"'Cause people do it everyday
Promise themselves they're gonna change
I've been there, but I'm changin' from the inside out
That was then and this is now
I'm a new man, yeah, I'm a brand new man
And when they carve my stone they'll write these words
"Here lies a man who lived life for all that its worth""

"Well, I had better get going if I'm going to talk to Stella tonight. I don't want to wake her up if she's asleep; she probably hasn't gotten mush sleep lately. Thank you for everything, Claire. I love you," Mac whispers. He stood beside the fence with his eyes closed for a few moments before heading to the subway station.

On the way to Stella's apartment, Mac thought about how to tell her he loves her without hurting her. She was already so weak and broken. Stella needed a friend now, but Mac finally decided he wanted to be more. The rest of the way there he worried about her reaction.

When he got up to Stella's apartment Mac stood outside the door debating whether to knock or use his key. If he knocked, he might wake her up, but she had the choice to let him in if she wanted to see him. If he just entered, he was invading on her privacy. 'Oh well,' he thought, 'here goes nothing,' and he opened the door.


"I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out"

A/N: I've had most of this written since before "All Access" but was too lazy to type it before now. The song is Rascal Flatts "When the Sand Runs Out." I hope you liked it. I'll post the nest chapter as soon as I can.