Hello BoP fans !Below is chapter 13 of my fic, I hope all Barbara/Helena shippers will like it.
Thanks to all readers and reviewers :D
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The End, chapter 13
"Helena I … this just can't be …"
Helena sighted heavily, it was not going as expected.
They had come back in Barbara's room to keep her company, updating her on what happened lately, before Dinah left for school. Almost four days out, she had courses and exams to catch up with. Barbara might have been tired, still she made sure Dinah would go, almost threatening her to have Helena driving her to the entrance.
With a not so gentle tap on Helena's arm, Dinah had made her understand that she was expecting her to talk to Barbara.
"The sooner, the better" she had breathed as Barbara was looking at the T.V.
So here she was, opening her heart to the redhead, hoping to make her see her feelings, what they'd have together.
It had started well, she told her what happened with her father, how he had manipulated her from the beginning, how he offered her trapped earrings to control her. And how they were now back together, that everything was back the way it was before.
For a brief moment, she had seen the change in Barbara's eyes, some kind of relief. But then it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by … sorrow? What could cause her so much emotional distress? Wasn't she happy to be back to her former life?
All of a sudden it stuck her: Barbara might not be interested in having that life back, maybe she didn't care about them as much as before. Maybe she had moved on, forced but still did.
So she had gone further, if their life together was over, well she might as well break it neat, she'd mend her broken heart later.
"What can't be Barbara?"
"Helena, I can't anymore, pretend to be fine all the time, to be in control, to know all the answers. I'm not Oracle anymore"
"Who's talking about Oracle here? I'm talking about Barbara, Barbara Gordon, the English literature teacher who took me in eight years ago when I was on run. I need you Barbara, just like Dinah does"
"You'll be better with your father, get the life you deserve" she responded matter of factly.
"What's with both of you? Studied a set of lines to give me? I'm not interested, ok? I don't want to live in a manor; I don't want to be Bruce Wayne's little girl, nor Batman's. I want to be with you Barbara," she shouted.
"If only it could be"
She had to listen carefully to make out her last sentence, barely a whisper, something meant only for herself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" as Barbara averted her gaze, Helena became even more angry, her eyes turning feral.
Closing the small distance between them, she went to stand in front of Barbara, cupping her chin in one hand so she wouldn't avoid her gaze once more.
"I want to know what's going on Barbara. Why can't you be happy that things are back to normal?"
"Helena please, just let it go," she pleaded, her eyes shining with unshed tears "you can't understand"
"Try me …" the look of hurt and fear in Barbara's eyes took her aback, her pupils shifting back to normal.
"You'll hate me"
"I never could Barbara, I love you"
Taking a deep breathing, trying to control the peace of her heart, Barbara looked one last time at Helena before lowering her eyes; unable to look at her while she confessed her heart to her.
"I can't pretend caring for you anymore, not when I want much more. I … I love you Helena, but not in a motherly way," she breathed, pushing Helena's hand away angrily, before burying her head in both hands.
"You mean …"
"Helena, please just go … leave me alone"
"No"
There was something in Helena's tone that made her look up and where she expected to find disgust; she found love, and a huge smile.
Cocking her head to the side, Helena looked at her mentor, arms crossed over her chest, trying hard not to laugh.
"You have no idea, do you?"
"What about?"
"Me … I was right when I said you had no idea who I really was. You really don't" leaning closer, she stopped inches from Barbara's face, studying her closely "then I guess I'd enlighten you."
With that she closed the distance, deposing kisses all over Barbara's face: her nose, her forehead, her cheeks … then her lips. So gentle and tender that the redhead thought she had imagined it. The second was a little more insistent, trying to get a reaction. When it didn't came, Helena lingered there, nibbling at her lower lips gently, smiling against it when she heard Barbara moan.
Then she felt Barbara's strong arms encircle her, crushing to her with all her being, returning the kiss with passion, Helena returning it, her hands encasing her head trying to deepen their kiss even more. As they eventually came up for air, Helena smiled when taking in Barbara's state: her messy hair, her lips puffy and wet, and her cheeks crimson.
Then the second after it all went to hell: covering her mouth with a shaking hand, Barbara looked at her in horror, tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted to run, to curl into a little ball on the floor and disappear from the planet.
"Oh my god, what have I done?"
"Whh … What?" Helena was certainly not expecting such a reaction, not after the kiss they just shared.
"Helena I'm so … so sorry"
As Helena tried to hold her close, Barbara held out both arms, blocking her attempt.
"Helena I … this just can't be …"
"And why is that? I'm not good enough for you? The little freak doesn't deserve the mastermind?"
"Com'on Helena that's not it!" she shouted back, angry with herself for not finding the appropriate words.
"Then what is it Barbara, tell me … please"
"Look at me Helena"
Turning around, Helena did as instructed and sucked in her breath at was she saw: Barbara had made the sheets fall back on one side, revealing her legs, pointing at them for emphasis.
"You deserve more than that, than me. I'm paralyzed Helena, what life do you want us to lead? What could it be like? I can't even dance or sky, open doors to you, walk side by side in the street, snuggle in your embrace, anything a normal lover should. Everything I long for with you. What can possibly attract you in me? I'm not even whole" she looked down at her legs, despair written all over her face.
"You done?" was Helena's sharp reply. When Barbara didn't answer, she went on.
"You think only physical attraction can make a couple work? You are totally wrong Barbara, there is so much more to you than meets the eyes."
"You want to know what I see when you lay like this, what I see every single time? I see a beautiful woman, a mind able to fathom master plan to bring down any criminal to justice, fiery hair framing green eyes that reflects all her caring, …"
Sitting back on the bed, she took one of Barbara's hands before adding "strong hands which shielded me from pain countless times, a body any sane woman would kill for: strong and yet so feminine, curved in all the right places, muscled legs so attractive I have to resist exploring every inch with my hands … and full red lips begging for some attention" closing the small distance between them, she kissed her gently, reverently, before moving to take her earlobe into her mouth, nibbling at it gently, waiting anxiously for any response from the redhead.
"I love you" she whispered seconds later, enveloping Barbara in a strong embrace, afraid that she would come up with any other excuse. She was at a loss of words, if only she could see herself through her eyes.
She felt Barbara hug her very tight in response, almost shocking the air out of her.
"God I love you Hel', and that scare me like hell"
"Why?" she retreated, her eyes focused on Barbara's.
"Helena you are surely the most attractive woman in town, I see men's reaction when you pass by, their look of utter lust, the way they check you out from head to toe, how their eyes linger a little too long."
"Well they can certainly watch but never touch" she grinned at her, trying to light the mood. "Barbara, it's you I love, it's with you I want to fall asleep with, you that kept me sane all those years, you … you … you, and only you …"
She'd see the fight going through her head, how she was struggling to find any other reason for them not to be together.
That made her smile, she knew from experience that Barbara was very combative, and although she might fear that their relationship wouldn't work, she'd give it a try, well she hoped she did.
"Stop it Barbara … you'll never find any valuable reason that will make me change my mind. I love you, as you are … body, heart and soul. Besides you'd be the one having second thoughts, I'm the freak, remember?"
Looking up, she saw Barbara's huge glowing smile … the love in it … she'd won !
"Yes you are, to love me, you certainly are, but you are my freak … my beloved Helena" opening her arms wide to Helena, she welcomed her with a tender kiss.
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Ok let's see what ya think about it ... :)