Hello all and Merry Xmas and Happy New Year !
Chapters 16 and 17 were to be part of a sequel but since I lack time, I prefer to share those with you all.
Once more, thank you to all readers and reviewers, you are the best !

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The End, chapter 16

As they returned from sweeps, looking for a lead on some mysterious deaths across New Gotham's parks, Dinah headed towards her room right away, having a history exam in the morning, as Helena took off to the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards, desperately seeking some pop-tarts. She was hungry, and didn't wish to wake up Barbara in the middle of the night with a rumbling stomach. She didn't hear Barbara coming in, and almost smacked her head against the top drawer when she called her.

"Helena, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure what's up?"

Barbara didn't respond, wheeling towards the balcony overhanging the city, Helena followed her closely, trying to decipher her mood. Her posture was rigid, but it was 3' in the morning, and the week at school was exams only, boring and tiring to survey kids for 4 hours straight.

Approaching her carefully, Helena knew the conversation was personal, when it wasn't she had no trouble talking when at the Delphi. Two months into their lover's story, she was still anxious at the older woman's reaction. They shared kiss, traded caresses but still something was holding her back in taking things any further, and it wasn't the healing of her body alone. So she gave her time, even space, happy where the things stood so far. They had time after all, it's not like she'd ever consider leaving her one-day.

Moving to stand beside her, she watched the stars above them, marvelling about the power it had to smooth her every time. Well, she smirked; it did when Barbara wasn't around …

"I've been thinking a lot lately and …" sighting heavily Barbara wished her voice wouldn't sound to desperate, so edgy "damn this is hard".

Crouching in front of her, Helena took her hands in hers, stopping their auto torture, seeking Barbara's eyes "take your time love, tell me what's on your mind"

"You" her response took even Barbara by surprise, and that made Helena smile.

"Good we are even then, cause I think about you all the time" craning her neck to kiss the redhead gently, she smiled in the kiss, feeling Barbara's arms enclose her safely. She rested her head on her belly, arms looped around her waist, returning the embrace. Looked like Barbara wasn't ready to talk with her looking at her. That was fine, she'd live with the idea of staying like that a moment more. She'll give her space, time, whatever she needed. Not before long, she felt Barbara's warm hand on her lower back, massaging her spine in low circles, then repeating it on each rib, god that felt so good.

Long moment later, Barbara finally spoke, her voice cracking "I love you Helena, more than you might know … but I'm scared … scared to loose you, to drive you away from me"

"You can't … might you turn into a tyrannical school principal, even a bio teacher, I'll still love you, don't you see it?"

Barbara hadn't stopped her massage on her back, so she went on from her reclined position "I love you Barbara, whatever you do, whatever you did, nothing can turn me away from you"

"How I wish" her voice broke on a sob making Helena jerk upright.

In a flash, she freed herself from Barbara's embrace, more than ready to get the woman to speak to her, there was something on her mind, something she was hiding, something eating her inside but yet she was unwilling to let it out.

Standing up, her hands resting on either side of the chair, Helena plunged her eyes into Barbara's, begging with her eyes to let her in.

"Talk to me Barbara … please"

"I can't" there was something in her voice, like a childish shadow hiding the face of the grown woman.

"Yes you can Barbara. Just talk to me, we'll sort things out later"

When Barbara made no move to speak, Helena changed position to stand by her side, enveloping her in a tight embrace, her upper body blanketing her. She laid her head on hers, deposing gentle kiss everywhere. She felt Barbara take a shaky breath before whispering, "he raped me …"

"What? Who?"

"It wasn't enough that he shot me, he wanted to break me totally, making sure I'll never come again"

Helena stood on shaky legs, horrified by Barbara's confession.

She wasn't the fainting type but all of a sudden her legs had difficulties supporting her weight, her arms fell to her side, mouth gaping open. The world began spinning, she had to lean on Barbara's chair to support herself, both hands grasping the armrests in a death grip. Forcing herself to breath in and out slowly, she closed her eyes, fighting the image assaulting her mind. She didn't want to go there, too dangerous, and certainly not the right time. Damn her photographic memory.

As the world took its place back, she looked down at Barbara, she hadn't moved, staring into space, crying silently.

Shaking her head, willing the shock to pass completely, she straddled Barbara, engulfing her in her arms, kissing every part of her body she could reach, neck, lips, hair, crying with her. For what seemed forever she didn't respond, then her hands found their way under Helena's tank top, crushing her, nails digging into the soft flesh, drawing blood.

Helena felt it, but it was nothing compared to what her lover had endured all those years.
That bastard was going to pay, he might be locked up in Arkham, under close surveillance, she'll kill him, it'll be long and hurtful.
He had done enough damage that night to burn in hell for a century.

Trying to keep her pain and raising anger at bay, she turned her attention back to Barbara, she needed her. She had to take care of her, mend her broken soul.

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One more chapter to go ...