Shanan and Kakashi went on a lot of dates. It was the only chance they got to make-out and they always wanted to be kissing. But Shanan still had her rule of no kissing at home. So they either went out or they didn't kiss.
They still mostly had the same nightly routine of cooking, eating and reading. And they still sat together on the couch like they always had.
Tonight had been one of the more difficult nights for Kakashi.
Shanan was laying with her legs on him while she read her book and he kept looking over his book to look at them. Look at them and then follow them up to her thighs. Follow them up to her thighs and then up her body to her chest.
He couldn't not touch them. He continued to pretend to read while he traced the inside of her leg with his left pointer finger. Just from her knee down to her foot and back again a few times.
He wanted to feel them more.
He switched his book to his other hand and pretended like he was still reading.
He set his right hand on her foot and ran it softly and slowly up her leg and then ran back down with his fingers again.
"What are you doing?" She finally seemed to notice as she looked over her book.
Kakashi closed his book and looked at her longingly as he grabbed her hand.
Shanan raised her eyebrow at him.
"Are you done reading?" she asked him.
"I just really wanna kiss you right now. That's all," he told her.
Shanan set her book down on her stomach and sighed.
"Kakashi... we can't." She hated saying it. But she just didn't think that they should.
He pulled her hand so that she'd sit up. And when she did he caressed her face.
"You really don't wanna kiss me right now?" he said, still looking at her so lovingly.
She thought he was really handsome right now, he was sitting there with no shirt on and his eyes just looked so deeply into her. Why did he have to make it so difficult?
"I always wanna kiss you. Always. But we can't. We shouldn't," she said regrettably.
Kakashi deflated as he looked away and leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.
Shanan looked at him for a minute, she felt bad, but she couldn't give in, so she leaned back and opened her book again.
Kakashi didn't say anything else, he just picked her legs up gently and removed them from his lap so that he could get up.
She looked at him in disbelief. He wasn't rude about it or anything, but he had never just moved her legs and walked off like that.
He came back in as he put a shirt on and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Shanan sat up to look at him over the back of the couch.
"You're mad at me," she said rhetorically.
"No, I'm not," he said calmly as he filled his glass.
"Yes, you are! I know you better than anyone, Kakashi."
"Nope. I'm not mad..." he said as he dumped his water without taking a drink.
Shanan continued to look at him, her impatience growing.
"All because I won't kiss you right now," she said, irritated.
Kakashi set his glass down, put his hands in his pockets and walked to stand at the opposite end of the couch so that he could see her better.
"I'm just tired of you making decisions about us that I have no say in," he told her.
"Wha- I don't do that! When have I ever done that?" she asked incredulously.
"You're the one that decided that we couldn't sleep in the same bed anymore," he said, tears in his eyes, "I didn't wanna do that. I was used to having you there with me, always, and you decided to just take that away." Tears were rolling down his cheeks now. "I hated it... I still hate it. I still miss you every night."
Shanan frowned at him. He was right. But that, too, was for their own good and she hated it too.
"Sorry I didn't think it was appropriate to give you the opportunity to accidentally brush against my boobs or feel like waking up to you with an erection," she said angrily.
Kakashi sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at her.
"It would've only been weird if we made it weird. We were best friends, I think we would've gotten past either of those things the first time they ever happened," he said as the tears continued to stream down his face.
"But, I'm just trying to be responsible, Kakashi," she said as she teared up.
Kakashi dropped his shoulders as he tilted his head back. "I don't care..." he said exasperated, his voice starting to shake now. He looked back at Shanan. "I don't care about being responsible if it means I have to lose a part of you that I would otherwise have. I never get to kiss you the way that I want to, because we're always in public. Your rules are just so arbitrary. Nobody else in the world cares but you..." He still had his hands in his pockets as he turned towards the hallway and casually wiped his tears away with his finger as he walked. "Your rules are just stupid, Shanan," he said as he made his way to his room and gently closed the door.
Shanan was angry, but tears started pouring down her face, "So you're not even gonna say goodnight to me?" she yelled quieter and shakier than she'd planned.
She sat on the couch and waited awhile for him to realize his neglect, but he didn't come back out.
Shanan decided to finally go to bed, but she couldn't sleep. She really was just trying to be responsible.
After a few hours of trying, she finally decided to get up to take a hot shower. That always helped her to feel tired.
She knew Kakashi would be asleep so she decided that she could just change in her room afterwards as she tiptoed to the bathroom.
The water was already helping her to feel better. She didn't want to try and sleep with wet hair, so she kept it up.
Kakashi had tried to get to sleep, but he was still upset. He felt like when he and Shanan were at home then they should get to kiss as much as they wanted. Instead of reading, they could spend the last part of the night kissing. Why was she so adamant?
He knew he'd feel bad in the morning for making her feel foolish, but he wasn't there yet.
After a few hours of sitting on his bed and thinking too much, he realized that he never did take a drink of that water before he'd dumped it out. He was just in his boxers, but he knew Shanan would be asleep, so it'd be fine to run out quietly.
Shanan got out of the shower and wrapped her towel around her before looking in the mirror. She brushed her teeth quickly and then took her hair down and loosened it up before turning to the door.
Kakashi was so busy trying not to wake Shanan up that he didn't notice the bathroom light on as he walked past it on his way to the kitchen. His glass was still on the counter so he filled it up and made his way back down the hallway.
Just as he had gotten his door open he heard the bathroom door close and turned to see Shanan standing there in nothing but a towel.
Authors Note: HI! if you've made it this far, let me know. There are 114 chapters total and I'm excited to know what people think. :D