It was amazing how quickly the pain disappeared once Lee's mind grasped what Kara had done. He was on his feet and limping to the edge of the void. The only thing he could make out was two bodies impossibly tangled around one another.
He gagged as his body chose this moment to fully accept the sacrifice Kara had just made. His mind was telling him he needed to figure out what happened to the Arrow. His heart told him that Kara deserved more than to be left underneath the dead corpse of a machine.
For what would probably be the last time, Lee chose to listen to his heart. He bit back the pain and slowly made his way down to the bottom level of the museum. Tears were fighting their way to the surface as his wounded hands pulled the pieces of rubble off the two bodies. He hit something warm and wasn't surprised when he looked down to see the blood. He had known this wouldn't be pretty.
A small glimmer of hope found its way to the surface as he realized it was the Arrow sticking out of the Cylon's back that had caused the blood. He pushed the machine out of the way and choked back a cry as he saw Kara's bruised face. She looked peaceful.
Lee pulled her limp body into his arms and let the last bit of his control slide away. He had thought his being here would protect her. He had thought he would be enough. He had been so stupid. "I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear. The tears stung his eyes. "Oh gods, Kara, I'm so, so sorry." He gripped her to him as tight as he could. He knew at that moment that he wasn't leaving Caprica alive. He couldn't let her go.
"That fraking hurts, Lee."
His heart froze and started pounding at the exact same time. Pulling back, he could feel a tiny movement in his arms as Kara fought to breath. "Kara?"
"What?" she choked out, her voice a harsh, gravely whisper. "You thought one lousy Cylon could take me out? No fraking chance."
Her smile said it all. "What were you thinking?" Lee demanded. "What the frak were you thinking?"
Kara pulled herself away from the tight hold Lee had on her in order to sit on the rubble-filled ground. "I was thinking if I didn't do something quick, you were going to let that machine kill you. I was thinking that I'm fraking tired of having to save your ass. I was thinking you were a moron for coming on this mission and distracting me so much. I was thinking I was going to kick your ass as soon as this toaster was dead."
Lee laughed and, cradling Kara's face in his hands, kissed her with all his might. He hoped it wasn't too painful for her because it was the only way he could keep himself from hitting her for being so courageously stupid.
When they finally pulled away from each other, Kara shook her head. "Damn. I should try to get myself killed more often."
Lee rolled his eyes and got to his feet. He summed up the strength to walk over to the dead Cylon and yank out the one piece of her that was worthwhile. Arrow in hand, he offered to help Kara up, and when she faltered, he slid his arm easily under her shoulder to support her. "We need to get off this stupid planet."
"Gods yes."
They got about two steps into the midday heat before Lee paused, and Kara was forced to stop along with him. "Is something wrong?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer. Of course something was wrong. The Cylons almost killed them on this suicide mission that was destroying their lives physically and metaphorically.
"I thought you were dead," Lee said. His gaze held a spot over her left shoulder.
"What?"
"In there, I thought you were dead. I thought I had killed you."
"How could you have killed me?"
"You wouldn't have done that if I wasn't there." Kara didn't have to ask what that was. "You would have just kicked that Cylon's ass back to her worthless god and then come home to the Fleet."
"To you," Kara corrected. "I would have come home to you."
Lee couldn't hide the smile that tipped up the corners of his mouth. It only lasted for a few seconds, but Kara let herself bask in it. "This is why those military regulations are in place," Lee reminded her with a smirk.
"I think our relationship kind of goes beyond what those old suits were thinking of when they decreed pilots shall not frak other pilots. They knew nothing about the end of the world and how lonely it can be."
Lee gave a small nod and was about to start moving them again when he finally noticed the small change that had taken place since they landed. "Frak me."
Kara followed the direction his gaze was directed and groaned as she saw the burnt out husk of the Heavy Raider. There were still a few small tentacles of fire on the right side. "I guess the toasters weren't sure that one machine could stop us."
"Frak me," Lee repeated. "What the frak are we supposed to do now?"
"We keep moving," Kara said, her voice steady and calm. "We don't let them win." She snatched the Arrow out of his hand and pushed her body forward even though it hurt. "There has to be some sort of ship on this planet that we can fly back to the Fleet. We just have to find it."
Lee cleared his throat and decided it was time to stop dwelling on the fact that Kara thought her life was worth less than his. He had to get his head in the game. He could prove to her how stupid she was later when they were safe. "There are probably some airbases on the outskirts of the city. We should head that way."
She gave him a small nod, and together, they limped down the street. There was a lot of city to cover before they hit the outskirts. They had a system going that Lee thought was pretty good. He held on to Kara, and she held on to the Arrow. That meant the two things most important to him right now were taken care of.
The blocks blended together as they moved into a more secluded area of the city. It was just far enough away where you wouldn't get the tourists filtering down from the museum. Lee decided it was peaceful in a fresh off a holocaust sort of way. Kara had pushed away from him a few minutes into the walk, murmuring something about not being any good to him if she couldn't stand on her own. She had taken over the directions as she obviously knew this part of Caprica rather well. It was odd. Lee had always thought the Buccaneers were stationed out of Caprica City. Her schedule would have given her little to no time to venture this far away from the metropolis she called home.
Kara pushed a chain-link fence open and walked into the courtyard of an apartment complex. "Where are we going?" Lee asked, shuffling to catch up to her.
"I have a place here," she informed him. The way she said it told him not to question her about that statement yet.
The door to the apartment was locked. Lee couldn't help but smile when she didn't hesitate to shoot out the lock and then kicked the door open. She must have been feeling better. Silently, he followed her down the stairs into the apartment. There was a slightly odd aroma to the air, but Lee figured it was just the staleness of having not been breathed in so long.
His eyes caught on the walls of the apartment, and he suddenly realized as much as he knows who Starbuck is, he still has no clue who Kara Thrace is.
"I did it," she answered before he could even ask the question. "This place was where I would go during the off-season. I hated the city." She reached out to run her hands against the paint. "I had a rather swanky apartment in Caprica City, lovingly paid for by the team. It was mostly for show. People got rather testy if we didn't live a glamorous life."
"They obviously didn't know you," Lee said, bending down to get a closer look at one of the canvases. "This apartment practically screams 'I'm Kara Thrace's apartment'. I don't think I could have imagined anything else."
The fact that Lee could understand that so quickly pleased Kara to no end. "I was always so angry during playoffs. Most people thought it was because my head was in the game and I wanted another championship for the team. Really, I just wanted the season to be over so I could come back here. This was my home."
Lee smiled at her. "These are really good, Kara."
"Just another career path I never followed through on," she joked. She stumbled over to the couch and, pushing a few random objects out of the way, sank down into the familiar comfort. The Arrow fell with a clank onto the coffee table.
Lee straightened up and watched her shut her eyes. The pain didn't go away. She was hurting. It probably took all her strength just to get them this far. His eyes roamed her body, stopping on each cut, each bruise. Her clothes were stained with the blood of a machine, and he could see the caked mud mixing in with her hair. It was an odd combination of red, brown, and yellow. He hated seeing her this way.
An idea popped into his head, and Lee hoped he wasn't hallucinating when he saw the fixture in the courtyard indicating there was a well below the building. "Get up for me, Kara," he insisted, keeping his voice low and soft.
"Frak off, Lee. I'm tired."
Her grumbling only made him laugh. "I'm serious. You'll thank me for this later."
Kara opened her eyes after a moment's hesitation. "You're up to something."
"I have an idea." He grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. "It's getting dark, and I don't want to be out on those streets unless we can see what's up ahead. Therefore, we have some time to kill and I know just the way to do it."
Kara's mind immediately went to sex. She chuckled to herself as she realized she was the type of woman who would be willing to push the pain away if it meant Lee forgetting about those stupid regulations again. When he led her right past the bed, she couldn't help but feel disappointed.
The disappointment faded into curiosity as he took her into the small bathroom. She silently watched as Lee turned the handle in her shower and water came pouring out. "I saw the well out in the corridor. I think we have enough to get one shower." He reached out to unzip her flight suit. "I guess that means we'll have to do it at the same time."
Kara found herself unable to move a muscle as Lee slowly undressed her. She had never felt more tired than she did at this very moment. It was nice to have someone take care of her for a change.
The sweat underneath the flight suit left a cold chill on her body as soon as the plastic material was gone. Lee's hands rubbed her arms for a second as she shivered. Then he moved to pull her tanks over her head. His hands continued on to slide down her body and push her underwear to the floor. Kara had to fight back a different kind of shiver this time. There was something strangely sensual about standing in front of him, stark naked, while he still had all his clothes on.
Still not saying a word, Kara's hands came out to return the favor. Even hurt, she could still appreciate the feel of his skin against hers as she slid his tanks over his head. They caught on his dog tags, and Kara had to use extra force to disentangle them. Lee must have noticed the slight wince because he gently kissed her fingertips and stepped back to kick his shoes away and take his own pants off.
Lee led her by the hand to the shower, taking the time to test the water before pushing Kara inside. She gasped against the pleasant warmth and had to hold the wall to keep her knees from giving out. The water spilled over her body and fell to the floor, pink and cloudy. Lee was almost sure watching her would be enough for her. Then she held out her hand, and he knew he had no hope of fighting it.
Kara leaned into him the second he was before her. Lee firmly supported her body and began to wipe away the dirt and blood caked on her face. She didn't flinch once. He leaned in to give her temple a gentle kiss and was rewarded with a sigh. He could already feel her healing, and it pleased him that he had been the one to make that happen.
His eyes caught on a bottle of shampoo. He threw the cap off and lifted it to his nose to see if it was still good. The aroma hit him to the core. It smelled more than good. It was Kara, lavender and pear and some kind of spice. Lee had smelled it too many times to count and not all of them at the most appropriate moments. She must have had some of this when she boarded the Rising Star before the attacks.
Smiling at that thought, he poured a dollop onto his palms and rubbed it between his hands. Kara leaned on him even more as he worked his fingertips against her scalp. The smell of the shampoo, the smell of Kara, was the most intoxicating thing. She moaned softly against his touch. Her hands roamed his back freely.
It surprised Lee how right this felt. Standing in a shower, washing Kara's hair, was so domestic and unlike him, and yet he could easily imagine doing it day after day. If the world hadn't ended, he could see himself taking his leave time during the pyramid off-season so he could come see her when she was in Delphi. He could see himself as the trophy flyboy boyfriend of Kara Thrace, the best pyramid player to arise in years.
It didn't matter that the public would think he was just a piece of meat Kara was carrying around because he looked so good in photos. They wouldn't have cause to think he could be so much more. He would know, and that was enough.
He could imagine sitting on the couch, watching her paint. They would hole themselves up in these walls with plenty of food and supplies. They wouldn't leave for as long as his shore pass was still good.
Then again, if the attacks hadn't happened, he would never had met Kara Thrace. His military career didn't give him much time to meet with the most public faces on Caprica. She would have just been another blond cover girl he saw on some random magazine cover. She would never be Kara to him.
Was it wrong to thank the gods for ending the world?
He tried to silence his thoughts as her hair finally ran clean of blood and dirt. The world had ended. He had met Kara. Things were fraked up and perfect at the same time.
Lee was stuck on the way her broken body hung so tightly onto his. It broke his heart. Kara had been hurt because he was too weak to protect her. As he worked his way down her body, dropping a kiss on each and every bruise and cut he could find, Lee silently vowed to never let this happen again.
He hoped she was right when she claimed kisses could make anything better.
Kara's hands ran idly through his hair as he softly rubbed the bruises on her thighs. He wondered if it would cause her more pain if he kissed the hurt away from the lovingly sensitive spot just a little higher than his current location. Would she cry out in pain or pleasure?
Pushing her back against the wall, he stared up at her from where he knelt. Her eyes were closed , a sign of trust that he wouldn't do anything to push her the wrong way. She was letting him take care of her, and beyond anything else, that was what mattered.
Lee whispered her name just as he parted her legs to give him better access. Her grip in his hair tightened, and he knew that was her way of giving him permission. He took the exploration slow, wanting to remember the freedom she was giving him when they were far from this studio apartment in Delphi.
He licked her folds slowly, feeling her knees give out. This time it was for a whole other reason, and he doubted it made her feel weak to have to lean on him. He pushed himself deeper inside of her, using his mouth to tell her the things he knew he could never say.
Kara could already feel herself on the edge. Her defenses were weak, and he was taking full advantage of it. Realizing there was absolutely no one to hear, she let out a low moan as his tongue hit just the right spot. It was too much for her, and she felt her walls contract as the orgasm took over. Her vision went white, and she really did need Lee to hold her up.
She could remember the last time she had been with another person in this shower. It wasn't half as painful or half as satisfying. From now on, all memories of this room would be forever joined with Lee.
Her hands gripped the chain of his dog tags and pulled him to his feet. Lee had forgotten he even had them on, but now they made a soothing clicking noise as they collided with the identical metal tags around Kara's neck. There was probably some cheesy poetic irony or a sort of metaphor to that, but right now he couldn't think of it. All he could think of was the way Kara's hands were touching his body and the way her mouth was soothing away the pain he was feeling in his shoulder. "Kara?" he whispered, his voice coming out a little more hoarse than he would have expected. He was scared to death that releasing this primal part of himself on her would hurt too much, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
"I need this, Lee." She winced at the way her words sounded. She had to do this right. "I need you," she corrected.
"I want you to know-" Kara's hands came up to his lips to trap the words inside, and he couldn't help but brush a kiss across the roughened pads.
Kara didn't want to pretend this was something it wasn't. Lee wanted to give her relief. He wanted to give her a reason to remember why she couldn't keep throwing herself off cliffs. This wasn't about love or even lust. "I understand," she said as he picked her up off the ground, despite the pain she knew it must have caused him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, and she had barely time to breath before he had pushed his way deep inside her.
Their dog tags connected to the gentle rhythm of his thrusts. Lee could feel her shivering against his body and realized the water had cut out a long time ago. It didn't slow him down. Kara moved against him, letting her own weight do most of the work.
Lee couldn't control himself, holding out just long enough to take her with him. It was less about the release and more about the healing it could bring.
"I'm tired," Kara whispered in his ear.
Her words pulled Lee back to the present. They were still in the shower, their bodies dripping water. Her legs were still tucked securely around him, and he was still buried deep inside of her. He didn't want to leave.
Holding his arms tight around her, he stepped out of the shower and into the main room of the studio. He walked to the bed and laid their bodies down. When he finally pulled himself out of her, she whimpered slightly but didn't really stir. He prayed to the gods that she didn't feel like he had just used her. He couldn't take it if she did.
He brushed the hair back from her face and was surprised when Kara turned to smile at him. "Don't go," she whispered even though the thought had never crossed his mind.
Lee pulled a blanket up off the end of the bed and snuggled in to her naked body. Her breathing evened out in seconds, and he let himself openly stare at her like he could never do before. She was so beautiful.
He knew that he was falling in love with her even if he could never admit it out loud.