To DD or Not to DD

Fandom: CSI:NY

Author: Kimmychu

Rating: FRM (it may go up later)

Pairing: Danny/Flack, Danny/Mac

Content Warning: Cracktasticness, odd body changes, language. Did I mention cracktasticness?

Spoilers: Set after 'Fair Game', so spoilers for any episode previous to that

Summary: After a freak laboratory accident at CSI headquarters, Danny is cursed (or blessed, depending on how you see things) with very unusual ... add-ons. Inspired by a forum comment: "Danny is the show's DD breasts."

Disclaimer: Nope, none of the characters belong to me. What a shame. I would treat them oh so well. They have no idea what they're missing.

Chapter 11

"Fascinating."

It figured Hawkes would say something like that.

"Look at them. They look just like those … Mac, have you watched those Matrix movies?"

Mac's lips twisted into a semi-smirk. "Yes, I saw the first one, but the later two had too much CGI special effects to keep me interested."

Hawkes glanced meaningfully at him. "Wow. Mac Taylor actually watchesmovies."

This time, Mac grinned. "Like I said, it's my job to know a little of everything. And by the way, I thought Queen Latifah was funny in Bringing Down the House."

Hawkes' eyebrows would have gone all the way up to his hairline if it was anatomically doable. "I'm impressed," he said lightheartedly, "You're not developing a crush on her, are you, Mac?"

"Hey, Doc, move over, I wanna see."

Mac, Hawkes and Flack were clustered around a weighty high-magnification microscope in one of the windowless, white labs at CSI headquarters. Stella sat opposite them, leaning her chin on one hand on the table and observing the three men with an almost maternal expression. Mac had specifically chosen a closed-up lab to evade any spying eyes; they couldn't risk being exposed and lose the last evidence they had that could help alter Danny back to his original self.

"Eewww. They look just like those tentacly robot thingies in the Matrix movies." Flack's blue eyes widened even more as he gazed at what made up the neon-blue substance through the microscope. What appeared to be tiny, blue-white hexagons with feelers piled and scuttled all over each other like a hypnotizing swarm of aliens from another planet. "There're … zillions of them."

"I think that's exactly what they are."

Everyone faced Hawkes' direction.

"Robots. That's what they are."

Flack's brows met in a puzzled frown. "You mean, microscopic robots? As in … nanotechnology?"

"Yes! Microscopic robots the size of a human body cell! Isn't that amazing?" Hawkes' kind eyes were alit with excitement. "I've read some about nanotechnology. Did you know nanotechnologists have recently created alcohol- and hydrogen-powered artificial muscles that are a hundred times stronger than natural muscles? They're able to do that many times greater work per cycle and even produce larger contractions than natural muscles at reduced strengths!"

"But what about smart nanobots?" Mac tapped his fingers on the table surface. "Nanobots with highly developed artificial intelligence?"

Stella stood up, walking over to join the men. "Whoa, it's one thing to create artificial cells that're capable of basic functions. It's another to create robots that small with artificial intelligence." Flack moved over to let her look at the sample on the microscope slide.

"Who knows how far nanotechnology has come along? But … hmmmm." Hawkes absentmindedly scratched his chin. "Nanotechnology with superior artificial intelligence? I'm not sure if that technically even exists yet."

Mac appeared distant in contemplation. "If our speculations are correct, it's no wonder the FBI came as fast as they did and took everything away from us. Imagine the potential of such an advanced technology. In the wrong hands, it'd be disastrous."

"Mac. If this case is already taken out of our hands … why are we still investigating it?"

Stella instantly tensed at Hawkes' inquiry. Flack looked pointedly sideways at Mac.

Damn. Mac was hoping that question wouldn't pop up. He should've known better though. This was Sheldon Hawkes the Walking Encyclopedia he was speaking to, the guy who loves to know everything. Hawkes answered himself before Mac could reply.

"This doesn't have something to do with Danny … does it?"

Mac sighed, rubbing his temple. How was going to break the news to the guy without freaking the daylights out of him?

"Uhm, Sheldon." Mac felt a headache looming. "Did you see the DB for my case? Before the FBI claimed it?"

Hawkes' facial expression said everything. "Let's just say … I was quite jealous of Hammerback being the ME for a while after I did."

Flack made an impish face.

"Okay. Uhm." Mac couldn't really look Hawkes in the eye. "Danny … uh. Danny -" - Mac flailed his hands around - "Danny's become a … a less curvy version of it."

Stella slapped her hands over her face. Flack looked liked he was about to burst. Hawkes merely stared blankly at Mac.

Fine. Mac was going to go the straightforward way.

"Danny's grown DD-sized breasts. And lost most of his body hair." Mac didn't dare to ponder over at all whether Danny still had hair down there.

Hawkes' blank stare lengthened. "Danny's. Grown. Breasts. DD-sized breasts."

Mac coughed. "Uhm. Yes."

"And. He's lost. All his hair."

Mac cleared his throat loudly. "Uhh, not on his head, and … uhm. I-I'm not sure."

Hawkes made a confused face.

"Mac, is this some kind of a joke?" Then he suddenly grinned as if he understood. "Ohh, I get it. Danny put you up to this, didn't he!"

Flack finally cracked and sniggered uncontrollably.

Mac felt like dissolving into the ground under his feet and disappearing there for a long, long time. "No, Hawkes. It's-it's not a joke. Believe me, I wish it was."

A part of Mac terribly wished he had his camera with him. It was extremely rare to see Hawkes looking like somebody had just grabbed him between the legs. Hard.

" … Y-you mean … Danny … re-really has … giant breasts?"

Flack keeled over, Stella smacking him on the back as he choked. Mac grimaced.

"Yes. We believe this blue substance we found on the DB was what caused the transformation. Danny came in direct contact with it during the explosion. I don't have any other explanation."

Stella got Flack to sit on a lab stool while Hawkes gradually reverted to his usual professional self, crossing his arms on his chest.

"I … I'm not sure what to say. Who would program nanobots to grow gigantic boobs?"

"That's what I said." Flack was still red in the face, but he was breathing fine now. "Whoever the guy is, he must be one fucked up scientist." Flack considered his statement. "Or a genius."

"You know, what I'm interested in right now is why your sample of the stuff hasn't exploded yet." Stella lifted an eyebrow.

Mac startled inwardly, looking down at the closed, white container on the table. She had an excellent point. In his mind, he backtracked to the day the explosion occurred, which was less than twelve hours after they were first called to investigate the nude corpse in the alley that night. Danny had clocked in early for his shift, and gone to one of the newer, less-used laboratories after Mac instructed him to study the blue matter. Danny was never the type to avoid other people. Mac presumed this had been yet another obvious sign of Danny's well-concealed emotional upheaval. Mac mentally noted this for future reference; he would have to further discuss that with Danny sometime soon.

Mac recalled the layout of the lab Danny worked in. In a way, he was thankful it'd been one of the less-used labs. In fact, it was so new, the only evidence lost had been the one Danny was asked to investigate. Still, IAB already had a field day interrogating everyone as much as they could anyway. If Mac didn't see Chief Hillborne ever again, it would still be too many times.

Mac's brows met in a concentrated glower. He idly handled the container in front of him, then studied his surroundings. Danny would have been transferring the gooey stuff onto a slide to study it under a microscope. He thought about the younger CSI, that morning in his maroon shirt, khakis and pristine lab coat, nimble fingers manipulating delicate lab equipment. His spectacles perched on his prominent nose as he squinted in the bright sunlight of the mor-

That was it.

"Mac?"

His two CSIs and one homicide detective were watching him avidly. Stella tilted her head at an angle, sculpted eyebrows raised inquisitively.

"Sunlight." Mac smiled. "Sunlight."

Mac grabbed a thin spatula and marched over to the laboratory next door, white container in hand. Flack, Stella and Hawkes followed behind.

There were windows in this particular lab. Sunshine streamed in, bathing the empty room in a warm glow. Mac drew the plastic blinds over the windows, throwing the room into semi-darkness as he didn't turn on the lights. He went up to the table closest to the windows and shifted all the equipment on it to another table far off. He uncapped the container. Then, using the spatula, he scooped out a minute amount of the neon-blue goo and pasted it onto one corner of the bare table.

"Get back." Mac closed the container shut and motioned at them to move backward to a safe distance. Flack automatically held his long arms in a protective stance in front of Hawkes and Stella as he backed them nearly out of the room.

Mac wrenched the blinds open, and ran from the windows to be with the others.

For over three minutes, nothing happened.

Then, all four of them heard a strange bubbling noise emanating from the empty table. The blue substance was now shimmering blindingly, forcing them to shield their eyes and squint. They swiftly shuffled out the door.

Pop.

The table corner blasted apart with an earsplitting bang, sending the splintered table crashing to the floor and the separated leg flying straight at Mac's head. He ducked just in time, the leg smashing to pieces against the wall above him by the mighty force.

"Mac!" Stella was immediately at his side, running her hands through his hair and over his shoulders in alarm.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," he reassured her. He got to his feet, wincing slightly at the pinch of some splinters in his shoulder. He'd get those out later. Mac brushed himself off and locked the lab door behind him. "The nanobots seem to be volatile in sunlight. Those on the DB didn't explode because it was discovered at night. My sample didn't explode until now because it's been kept in an opaque container all this time. Hammerback had samples in his fridge too, but since sunlight never reached them, they never exploded either. Danny's did because he had been working in an open lab during the day." Mac scowled. "He had a whole beaker full of the stuff too. It's a miracle he wasn't killed."

"Least we know how the explosion happened now." Flack looked grim. "But where do we go from here? It's pretty obvious none of us know anythin' more 'bout these nanobots."

"If we even search for nanotechnologists and ask for their help, we'd be alerting the FBI at once." Hawkes looked as dour as Flack. "Where is Danny? Is he safe?"

"He's fine. Flack got him to one of my safe hideaways." Mac glanced at Flack, who nodded in affirmation. "The Feds won't be looking for him there."

"He can't stay there forever, Mac," Stella said, full lips pressed together. "Sooner or later, he'll have to return to work. All the FBI have to do is wait."

"Then we'll figure out how to change him before that happens," Mac answered resolutely. "He's got way too many unused off-days anyway. I can give him at least another week or so. That'll give us more time."

They fell silent, brooding over the dilemma. Flack's frustration was palpable on his face and in his big blue eyes.

"This fuckin' stinks," Flack snarled. "There's got to be someone who can help Danny."

An image of a smiling goliath in Marine camouflage uniform materialized in Mac's thoughts.

Mac's hand curled into a steadfast fist.

"I know someone who just might."

OoooooooooooooooooooooooO

Author's Notes: This chapter's shorter than the last two ... but not to worry, Danny fans will love the next chapter! That's all I can say without spoiling it.