To DD or Not to DD
Fandom: CSI:NY
Author: Kimmychu
Rating: FRM (it may go up later)
Pairing: Danny/Flack, Danny/Mac
Content Warning: Cracktasticness, odd body changes, language. Did I mention cracktasticness?
Spoilers: Set after 'Fair Game', so spoilers for any episode previous to that
Summary: After a freak laboratory accident at CSI headquarters, Danny is cursed (or blessed, depending on how you see things) with very unusual ... add-ons. Inspired by a forum comment: "Danny is the show's DD breasts."
Disclaimer: Nope, none of the characters belong to me. What a shame. I would treat them oh so well. They have no idea what they're missing.
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Author's Notes: Whoa, this chapter came out eeeexxxtra long. Yep, Danny's coming up in the next one. Plus … a very, very unexpected guest star! As for what some of you are asking, there'll be a Mac/Danny scene soon. Not gonna say anything more than that. Yes, I'm mean that way, mwahahah.
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Chapter 16
All Don Flack, Jr. knew was he was in deep, deep crap.
In the time the Asian woman in corsets introduced herself as Gideon, eight men had joined the party to enclose him, Hawkes, Samiya and their manager. All were dressed in impressive black tuxedos like the bouncer, except the difference was that the men had guns at hand. Nine millimeter pistols, Flack's brain observed.
"I personally know all my clients," Gideon said. She had a british lilt to her accent. "Everyone is screened before they're even informed of my club's location." Her eyes narrowed. "And I'm very sure I've never seen the two of you until tonight."
One of the security guys stepped forward and roughly searched over Flack's body, snatching out the detective's cel phone and wallet. Flack stayed still; he wasn't that stupid to fight when there were at least eight guns aimed at his head. The goon flicked open the wallet and displayed Flack's golden badge for Gideon's view.
"NYPD." Gideon smirked at Flack. "You have no idea just how many of your fellow officers are in this club at this instant."
Hawkes let out an outraged squawk.
"Boss, Hershey Kiss here's NYPD too." Samiya had taken out Hawkes' wallet and cel phone as well. She had a mischievous expression on her mien, and was still holding onto the distraught CSI as if he was the greatest treasure in the world. It was like watching a mouse tussle with an anaconda.
"Samiya." Flack had no idea how such a powerful voice could come from such a lightweight body like Gideon's, much less how it effortlessly overwhelmed the deafening background music. "Why did you let them in?"
The African bouncer grimaced. "They had the correct password, boss. The scanners didn't detect any weapons on them either."
Wait a minute, Flack didn't remember going through any scanners.
"We'd have cleaned them out before they even got into the club if they did. The tall one said they were your new slaves too."
Ah, the scanners must have been installed in the walls of the corridor he and Hawkes walked through. And what? Slaves!
"So. Someone told you about the password and address of the club." Gideon's brown eyes stabbed Flack to the core, arresting him in position on the stool. "Someone sent you here to see me, hmm? Who?"
"Nuclear Jon."
Thank God. It was Mac. Half the guns swung to point at the newcomer in the scene.
Mac had somehow skulked up to the group without detection, and was standing before them, cool as a cucumber. His long coat, dark trousers and light grey shirt and were as immaculate as ever. Even his hair was still perfectly in place. However, the stark annoyance in the narrowed hazel eyes and the little blood stain on the side of his mouth was evidence it hadn't been a trouble-free task for Mac to get to them.
"How the hell did you get past Gerard and the boys!"Samiya roared. Hawkes winced at the volume. He really, really wanted to breathe properly again, and not go deaf while he was at it.
"I'm a Marine. I'll let you ponderon that."
Mac stalked up to Gideon, heedless of the clocking of guns and the sudden spike in tension. "Tell your bouncer to let my detective go."
Gideon and Mac had a staring showdown, nose to nose, for over a minute. Eventhough Mac was standing over her and literally head and shoulders above her, she was scarcely afraid. She smiled with amusement, not breaking eye contact with the lead CSI. She hadn't had this much entertainment in ages.
"Samiya."
"Aww, boss, I get to play with him later, right?"
Hawkes was shaking his head violently and looked as if he was going to burst in tears. His head and neck were all but the only body parts he could move; the bouncer's strong arms around him efficiently paralyzed him from shoulder to waist. He'd quit kicking with his legs a while ago. He was a couple of inches off the floor, and Samiya turned out to be invincible even down there. Why did he always attract the bizarre ones?
"Samiya." Gideon's voice brooked no disobedience.
With a low whine, Samiya grudgingly freed Hawkes from her embrace. The tearful CSI instantaneously rushed up to Mac and hid behind the man. The poor guy was possibly traumatized for life.
"Nuclear Jon." The diminutive club owner laughed softly. "You know him?"
"Yes." Mac stood back. "We were in the Marines together. As well as the NYPD."
"Ahh." Gideon appeared even more child-like when she grinned from ear to ear. "You're Maclaren. The Screaming Mac Attack!"
Flack's eyebrows shot up to his hairline at hearing the nickname. Apart from having four guns trained on him, he was actually finding the whole situation riotous. Danny would be laughing his ass off and rolling on the floor by now. Or totally start hitting on Gideon. Unless she kicked him to bloody bits with her boots first. Or he did. Or something.
Tonight was yet another night Flack was going to write in his diary, if he had one, as one to tell his fan club one day when he was older. His imperturbable, firm supervisor was blushing red as a cherry. Mac. Blushing.
"Oh yes. Jon has certainly told me much about you." Gideon stroked Mac's warm cheek with one, red-fingernailed hand. "He was right. You do look adorable when you blush." She waved at her employees. "Stand down. They're harmless."
Flack started on his seat when Gideon looked meaningfully at him from beneath lowered eyelids. "Compared to me, anyway."
The security goons sheathed their weapons and left, blending in with the surrounding crowd, who were completely unmindful of the short-lived confrontation. Only Samiya remained to watch over her manager, and evidently, Hawkes too. Hawkes took cover behind Mac completely when she twiddled her fingers and winked with both eyes at him.
"Jon wouldn't have sent you to me without a good reason. Therefore, what is it the NYPD wants with me, hmm?" Gideon crossed one leg over the other gracefully, keeping her gaze on Flack. "My club is legit, but you're free to check it up for yourself. Every client is a consenting adult."
"Technically, we aren't here on an official case." Gideon's eyebrow raised at Mac's statement. "This is a … personal one."
"Hmmm. I understand the …" - Flack wriggled under Gideon's eyeballing of him from head to toe and back - "Undercover costumes now. Well, good friend of Nuclear Jon." Gideon switched her concentrated gaze onto Mac. "How may I be of service?"
Flack's mind went to very dirty places at the huskily uttered question.
Luckily, Mac still had his head on straight. "We believe you may be able to identify a murder victim whose case we were working on two weeks ago."
Hawkes took off his jacket and handed the black folder in the inner pocket to Gideon. He was very sensible to stay out of Samiya's reach. "Any information you can give us is appreciated."
Gideon flipped open the folder and stared at the two photographs for a moment. Some emotion flickered in her eyes, but it was gone before Flack could pinpoint it. She closed it and gave it to Mac. Whatever amusement she felt was gone now.
"Yes. I know him." She glided off the stool onto her feet, motioning to Samiya with one twist of her head, her long earrings tinkling. "Samiya, take them to the Velvet Room." She then turned to Mac, who was visibly pleased at her answer.
"Come. Let us discuss this in private."
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The Velvet Room was aptly named.
The entire room was covered from ceiling to floor in purple velvet adorned with gold filigree patterns. Flack couldn't find any seams in the carpeting at all, so it was as if he was entering some velvet womb where he could roll around all day in a texture feast of the senses. Like the club, the room itself was round in shape too. It was lit by six lights high on the walls, bathing the chamber in a warm, orange luminosity. Four ornate chairs were arranged around a square block made of white granite to the front of the room. Beyond them, was a circular, mammoth-sized bed draped in shiny gold sheets and pillows, a garland of red and white roses set on the middle of it.
Whatever discussions had taken place here previously, Flack had the inkling they were mainly of the physical type.
Samiya pulled out one of the chairs for her boss. Mac and Hawkes followed the two women to the seats and sat opposite each other. After staring at the bed for a few minutes, Flack eventually took his seat opposite Gideon. He was subject to her avid inspection once again. And truth be told, he found it flattering, even if he'd never say it out loud.
She grinned at him, a perceptive glint in her eyes.
"This room is a favorite of many of my customers. I'd be more than happy to let you stay a night here, Don." Her eyelids lowered. "It's soundproof."
Flack's face heated, and his hands tightened into fists. He suddenly felt like somebody had torn open his chest and exposed his heart to the universe. He parked himself on the last empty seat, pointedly looking away from the others.
Gideon tipped back in her seat, arms resting on the curving armrests and calmly studying Mac and Hawkes. Flack had the sudden inclination to prostrate himself and call her Your Majesty or something alike.
"I am Gideon, owner of The Seventh Gate. Tell me your names."
"I'm Detective Mac Taylor." Mac gestured at Hawkes, who seemed to be back to his normal, composed self. "This is Detective Sheldon Hawkes, and this is Detective Don Flack, Jr."
"Hmm. Don Flack, Jr."Gideon rubbed at her chin with one finger. "You look just like your father."
Flack was speechless.
"Don't worry. I've only met him a few times outside of the club at … certain official functions. It pays to know people, after all. He's much too conservative to come to place like this, if he ever got to know about it." Gideon's face cracked into yet another grin. Her asymmetrical teeth gave her a distinctive appearance. "I can't say the same for his namesake though."
Flack was sure his face was on fire.
Gideon's facial expression turned somber.
"But, to answer your inquiry, Detective Taylor, yes, I know the man in the photographs you showed me." She tapped her fingers on one armrest. "Adam. Professor Adam Kovacs. He was a scientist working clandestinely for the government. He used to come here to … escape the torment of his life. The FBI always turned a blind eye on his extracurricular activities and tolerated his … transgenderkinks, if it meant he wouldn't run off and defect." She glanced at Mac. "He specialized in advanced nanotechnology."
Mac perked up at this; Gideon noticed the action.
"This is related to your investigation?"
Mac nodded. "You've helped to confirm some information I was given."
The door to the Velvet Room opened, and a waiter dressed in nothing but silky, black trousers, black dress shoes and a collar with a bowtie on it entered with a tray of red wine in crystal glasses. He set the glasses onto the granite block that served as a table, smiling shyly when Gideon sincerely said, "Thank you, Stuart." Then, the young man left as quickly as he came.
"The finest wine." Gideon took a sip from her glass. "For New York's finest." She appeared to have a partiality for smiling puckishly. "If I'd known the NYPD had such fine men … I'd let my club be raided every night."
"I got a question for ya." Flack was tired of being on the defensive. Time to turn the tables. "What's up with all your employees being guys only?" He thrust his chin at Samiya, who stood guard behind Gideon. "'Part from her."
Gideon puckered her lips. "Let's just say, there was a negative incident where one of my former employees became too … obsessed with me. She attempted to shank me with a plastic knife she concealed where the sun didn't shine." She smirked joylessly. "If it wasn't for my loyal Samiya, I would be buried six feet under the ground by now, so to speak. It is also why my security has been upgraded to include metal detectors and x-rays."
Samiya had a satisfied smile on her face, her chest puffed out and hands crossed in front of her. It obviously meant a great deal to the bouncer that her boss thought so highly of her.
"Most of all … there's nothing wrong with being surrounded by pretty men, is there?"
So that's why Mac's informant advised him on sending in only his male detectives for the job. Stella and Lindsay might never have made it past the security goons, much less received any attention from Gideon herself.
Out of the blue, Gideon's eyes turned steely. "Jon knew about this?"
"Yes. He's … at a precarious position," Mac said.
Gideon sighed, and frowned.
"Adam was one of my friends. He spoke often about his work. I was a shoulder to cry on when the pressures became too much for him. It was common for him to disappear for weeks at a time as his work constrained him to his labs most of the time. But still, I should have known something was wrong when he didn't contact me after what he proposed to do to himself."
"To use his nanotechnology on himself?"
Gideon lifted her eyebrows in response to Mac's question. "Yes. He intended to use to … change his gender. Sounds like something straight out of a science fiction book, doesn't it?"
"Believe me, if none of us saw the body, that is exactly what we'd have assumed too."
"A terrible ending was what I've always anticipated for him thanks to his line of work, and the people he worked for. Although I wish it could have been anything other than that." Gideon's voice was mellow with sorrow. "How did he die?"
"Our examiner was … unable to determine an exact cause of death. We found his body lying naked in the back of an alley. It was covered in a blue substance we've clarified to be the nanotechnology he created. We originally assumed the victim was a woman, from the, uhm …" - Mac was at a loss for words for a minute - "Large female parts. And lack of male genitalia. Our speculation is that it was the nanotechnology that killed him."
"Naked. Thrown like trash in the back of an alley." All three men shrank inwardly at the ire in Gideon's wide eyes and louder intonation.
Gideon covered her mouth with a hand, eyes narrowed to slits. "It wasn't a wig he was wearing in those photographs, was it? That was his real hair."
Mac nodded in verification.
"Detectives." Gideon gazed intensely at each of them. "You must understand, Adam was a perfectionist. He would never go through with any major operation unless he was as certain as possible it would be a success. When he contacted me to inform me he was ready to perform the experiment upon himself, it was proof he was sure everything would turn out fine. Not ending up dead and naked in an alley."
"So, what you're saying is … it was sabotaged." The fierceness in Hawkes' eyes was a different kind of anger; regardless of who the victim was, murder was a vicious crime. Especially when the corpse was discarded in the most humiliating way for the world to see.
"I wouldn't even blink an eye if she was the culprit," Gideon said scornfully.
"Who's she?" Flack sat forward in his seat, his wine untouched.
"Delilah. His wife. She's a nanotechnologist, like him. In fact, they worked on the same project."
Mac and Hawkes looked significantly at one another. This was the break they'd be waiting for!
Flack was on it like a rottweiler mauling a piece of meat. He leapt to his feet, slamming his hands on the granite block in front of him. "Where is she?"
Samiya paced forward at Flack's violent reaction, prepared to defend her boss against an attack. The bouncer growled menacingly, but Gideon raised a hand and halted Samiya in her path.
"Detective Taylor said this was a personal investigation." Gideon's almond eyes were compassionate as she gazed into Flack's upset blue ones. "Someone you care for deeply has been harmed by the same nanotechnology."
Flack gritted his teeth, a sudden wetness burning behind his eyes. "Tell me where she is. Now."
Gideon stared at him another moment, then asked Samiya for a pen and paper. The African woman got out a golden pen and a notepad from inside her black tuxedo jacket. Using them, Gideon wrote down an address. She handed the piece of information to Mac.
"You can find Delilah Kovacs at her penthouse there. I should warn you, the pompous bitch is a handful to deal with. I suppose all that power got to her head the moment she realized the advantage she had over her employers. What with her expertise being so atypical."
"Like Adam, the FBI will be watching over her too. However, I have a tip that might aid you and give you some time. Apparently, she's a full-blown heroin addict. Very adept at hiding it, but I have my sources that substantiates it." The Mohawked lady smirked. "One of her dealers is a sub of one of my customers. She recently restocked her stash. She conceals it in a secret compartment in the pedestal of a mermaid statue. You'll know it when you see it."
"Thank you. We really appreciate this." Mac folded the piece of paper with the address on it and slipped it into his coat pocket.
"Anything for Nuclear Jon's … friend." Gideon's eyes sparkled at Mac's flush. "There is one way you can thank me, Detective Taylor." Gideon looked back at Flack, who hadn't bothered to sit down and was seething with the drive to hunt down their suspect.
"I'd like to speak with Don. In private, if I may." Don stilled at Gideon's request.
Mac glanced at Flack. "It's up to him."
Flack bit his lip, then nodded. Samiya went to open the door.
"Do take your wine with you. Samiya will bring you back down to the bar for more, if you like. It's on the house."
Mac and Hawkes thanked her, then took a wine glass each, heading for the door. Hawkes sent Flack a sympathetic look, like the one kids at high school would whenever one of their own was about to be punished by their school principal. Mac sauntered through first, and missed seeing Samiya deftly pluck the glass out of Hawkes' hand and heave him up by the arms towards her face.
All Hawkes could think of was mouth-watering candy and sunshine and honey as the woman's full lips covered his in one profound, stunning kiss. Maybe it was the fact he was off the ground by a few inches that gave him the illusion he was floating on Cloud Nine. Or was it the wine?
"Whoa, Doc. I think she likes ya." There was laughter in Flack's voice.
Samiya let him go with a final smack of the lips, winking at him and pushing a piece of paper with a number written on it into his jacket pocket. "Mmm, Hershey Kiss, you sure live up to your nickname. Gimme a call anytime." Hawkes could only smile lopsidedly and rock dangerously on his feet. Samiya laughed, closing the door behind her.
Well, gee, at least somebody was gonna have a good time tonight.
"Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly."
Flack swiveled to face Gideon once more. "Yeah, so who's the spider and who's the fly?"
Gideon pouted, standing upright. "I, for one, am no aficionado of spiders. However beautiful their webs may be."
She reached into a pocket on the back of her tight trousers, giving Flack an ideal view of her bottom. Flack shamelessly stared. Oh yeah, maybe Hawkes wasn't the only guy on the team who was going to get lucky tonight.
In her hands were two rectangular pieces of black plastic with some wordings on them. She took his hand and placed them into it.
"Huh?" He studied them closely. "VIP passes?"
"Yes. Do bring your significant other with you when this case of yours is solved. I wish to meet the man who has such power over you."
Flack stammered, "M-man? What makes ya think it's a man?"
Gideon's pink lips curved into a shrewd smile. "I observed the way you were staring at those men in the body suits. As well as your reaction to Silas."
Oh, the guy with the tattooed butt. Flack's face reddened.
"You care very much about this man."
Flack avoided looking in her eyes. "Yeah. I guess. Dunno 'bout him, though. He's … like fire. Entrancin', ya just can't look away, but when ya try to get too close, ya get burnt. The worst thing is that he doesn't mean to do it, but he can't help it anyway."
"Well then, perhaps a certain handsome homicide detective just happens to be fireproof."
Flack chuckled. "Yeah, I'm one of a kind, babe."
"He's a very lucky man. I hope he knows that."
Flack smiled timidly at the remark.
Gideon touched him gently on the chest, over his heart. "Can you promise me one thing? Promise me you'll bring Adam's murderer to justice?"
Flack smiled benevolently down at the owner of The Seventh Gate, patting her hand with his giant one. "I promise I'll do everything I can."
Hell, for what happened to Danny, he was gonna make sure that bitch went down good.