The second he stepped on the Astral Queen, Lee realized there were a million new ways in which the gods were laughing at him. Being down on the surface of Kobol only confirmed it.

He thought bringing back a new Cylon model would make his father happy. Even if William Adama didn't endorse the reasons why he and Kara had left the Fleet, at least they brought back valuable intel on a known Cylon agent within the pilot ranks. That was something the Old Man would want to know.

It would have all worked out if his father hadn't already known. It turned out the Boomer serving on Galactica had taken it upon herself to let Adama know her true nature. She had put two bullets in his chest after single-handedly saving the Fleet.

Now when Lee closed his eyes, all he could think of was the fact his father could have died without him even knowing. The only thing that kept the guilt at bay was the knowledge that Zak had been there to take care of their father. He hadn't been alone.

The Fleet was a mess. His father was a broken man. Zak probably resented the fact that he had left without saying a word. Kara had stopped speaking to him the second they got back to the Fleet. There was a pregnant Cylon working with them, which he knew his father would hold him responsible for. He was in love with a woman who was not only engaged to be married to her pyramid captain but was willing to risk her life to go back to Caprica so she could be with him every day for the rest of her life.

And it was fraking raining. "Birthplace of the gods, my ass," Lee muttered.

The only thing that still made sense to him was Laura Roslin. She was dying a little more each day, and yet she was fighting to give the Fleet as much hope as she could before she went. She had a mission that centered around the heart, and she was prepared to risk it all just to make things happen. Lee wished he could be brave like that. He wished he could just say that's what I want and take it, damn the consequences.

That wasn't him, though. He was a follower masquerading as a leader. He did what he was told and made sure no one died. He didn't risk. He didn't gamble. He had been good, old dependable Lee for too long to change that.

Kara brushed past him to take point as they neared the Tomb of Athena. Lee couldn't help but watch her. She was so confident, so in charge, and yet she was broken. Caprica had broken her, but talking about it was a secret promise neither one of them was going to break.

He knew she missed Anders even if she wouldn't say it. He had caught her bouncing that stupid pyramid ball one too many times to think otherwise. How she had snuck it onto the Heavy Raider was beyond him.

Kara could feel Lee's eyes on her as she tried to get the group to pick up the pace. She just wanted to get this over with so she could collapse into her bunk on Galactica and sleep through the next holocaust. She had done her part in saving humanity. She deserved a break.

A branch recoiled into her side, and Kara did her best to keep from faltering. The wound from the operations was still sore. All this rain wasn't helping, either.

That was another reason she wanted to get back on Galactica. Up there she could get Cottle to tell her what the toasters had done to her. She was the type of girl that liked to know just how bad the picture was. If it was bad, she would cry for a day and then move on. If it was good, she would cry for a day and then move on. She would keep the results to herself and deal.

Her mind drifted back to the Fleet. She had been happy there. Things were simple. She woke up in the morning, ran, flew her turn at CAP, helped the Chief out with the Vipers, played a hand or two of triad, and went to bed. It was nice. It had order.

Too bad she was too fraked up now to enjoy it. The start of her day was in her bunk, and the end of her day was in her bunk. Therein laid the problem. The last time she had been in that stupid bunk was when Lee was making love to her. She knew that she could never sleep in it again without remembering, and that was a kind of pain she could not deal with.

"It should be somewhere within the next five hundred yards," Boomer called out to the group.

"Anything more specific?" Kara asked, turning to look back at the Cylon.

"No."

"Recommendations?" Kara said, turning to the Commander.

"Teams of two should work, walking at equal distances. We'll be able to fan out and make sure we're not missing it." Adama nodded to the Marines. "Pair off and take the right. Lieutenant Burrell, take Billy with you. Helo, Boomer. The President will come with me." Adama gave his son a look before nodding and stepping to the left.

"I guess that means you're stuck with me," Kara said. She had hoped for a sarcastic comment. She would have settled for an awkward laugh.

Lee didn't even look at her. He honestly didn't think he could.

They trudged in silence for the first two hundred yards, and then the thoughts in Lee's head overwhelmed him. He skidded to a stop and waited for her to realize he wasn't moving.

Kara turned to see Lee staring at her. The rain was pouring down. She was tired and in pain. Yet all she could think about was how grateful she was that he was looking at her again. He hadn't met her eyes since leaving Caprica. She figured she had done something wrong, but she had no clue what that could be. Besides the whole engagement she never got around to telling him about, of course.

Lee knew she wasn't going to say a word. This wasn't her breakdown, and they both knew it. Lee gave himself a moment to really look at her. The rain had soaked through her clothes. It had matted her hair against her face. He hated the fact that he couldn't forget how it felt to brush it out of her eyes. Something about her just felt right.

It was ridiculous how beautiful she was.

"Do you love him?" Lee asked. This was the question that had been hanging over them for far too long. He had been afraid to ask. Because he could handle Kara having loved someone in the past. He could handle her being engaged when the world ended. He couldn't handle her still loving Anders after what had happened between him and her. He couldn't handle that she could turn off the intensity between them like a fraking light switch.

Kara watched Lee. He was obviously struggling with something. It was a change from what she was used to. Lee was usually easy to figure out. That had changed. He had been stoic and serious for days now, and she couldn't even read his eyes anymore.

"Kara? Please answer me." Lee hated the way his voice sounded. He was pleading, but he didn't want her to know that. "Do you love him?"

Kara fought the urge to scream the words echoing through her heart. I love you, you big fraking idiot! That wouldn't solve or fix anything between them. It would only make it hurt more. "Anders means a lot to me, Lee. So yes, I do love him."

She expected Lee to scream, to lash out at her, but he didn't. Lee didn't say a word. He just turned and walked away. It took her a second to recognize the look on his face.

She had just trampled his heart for his own good, and it fraking sucked.

Not to mention it was raining.