It had been a hectic couple of months.
After a week or so, Kakashi was finally released from the hospital so he, Naruto and Tenzo got started right away on training Naruto's chakra. Kakashi had had the bright idea for Naruto to use hundreds of shadow clones to cut the time down and it really did seem to work.
Even Asuma had come and given Naruto some pointers and spent a day training him.
Asuma never did let Shanan perform the reverse Omoidasu on him. It still made her a bit sad. But she still had a soft spot for this Asuma anyway, because of Shikamaru. She knew that he looked up to his Sensei more than anyone. He even smoked sometimes when he was drunk to try and be like him. Shanan thought it was a gross habit, but she understood him wanting to emulate his Sensei.
There had been some trouble at the fire temple and Asuma had lost a few of his old friends in the attacks. But when the Akatsuki showed up and killed one of his best friends and took his body so that they could collect money for it, Asuma went after them.
The two Akatsuki members were Hidan and Kakuzu and they were strong.
Team Asuma fought against Hidan.
Asuma didn't make it…
Asuma's funeral was sad and rainy. Like most funerals in Konoha. The more people crying, the more the sky wept with them. Everyone was there.
Everyone except Shikamaru. Shanan knew he was really struggling with the loss. He'd tried so hard to fight against Hidan, she'd heard, but the man seemed to be immortal. Even after having lost his head, he was still alive.
After the funeral Shanan went to see Shikamaru. She stood outside and waited for a few minutes, not knowing what she would even say to him and then his dad walked out and she could hear him crying loudly inside.
"Oh, it's you," Shikaku said quietly. "Give him a minute to get it all out, alright?"
Shanan nodded. Hearing him like that really broke her heart.
"Think seeing you will help a lot, though," he continued. "He once told me he liked you because you made him feel ok to be vulnerable. And that he is, right now," he said as he started to walk away. But then he stopped. "Oh and by the way. I heard about your genjutsu. I'm sorry. I know you and Shikamaru really liked each other." He started walking again as he finished his thought. "He'd finally stopped saying how much of a drag girls were."
Shanan watched him go into another part of the house and sat outside of Shikamaru's room and waited for things to quiet down.
Once they did, she didn't waste any time and she didn't bother knocking. She didn't need to with him.
She opened his door gently and saw that he was lying on the floor, tears running back into his hair as he turned his head slightly to look at her.
She slid the door closed behind her, walked over to him, knelt down and laid next to him. She stayed quiet, but she put her hand on his chest and watched him.
He put his hand on top of her hand, but continued to stare up at the ceiling, crying silently still.
She knew he probably wouldn't say anything, so she spoke first.
"Shikamaru. I'm so sorry. Asuma was really one of the best people. He was so strong and he was really proud of you."
Shikamaru covered his eyes with his arm as he started sobbing again and Shanan reached out and pulled him into her chest. He didn't fight her at all. They both just laid on the hard floor while he sobbed against her.
She held him until he stopped and sat up and she sat up with him. The tears were still falling silently as he tried to make them stop. Shanan sat with her back against the wall.
"Come here," she said softly as she held her arm out. He clearly hadn't been ready to stop crying into her. He sank back into her arms and pulled her close to make sure that she wouldn't try to leave until he was ready. "It's ok," she said as she rested her face on his head and kissed it.
They sat like that for some time even after he'd calmed down… until he started moving his hands softly along her body, seeing how she felt, if she had changed in the year since he'd last touched her. All the while, still leaning against her as she held him close.
Then he sat up and looked at her in order to gauge her reaction. As she looked down at his lips he leaned in and gave them fully to her. They hadn't kissed in over eight or nine months and it had been agonizing every time he saw her. Shanan held the side of his face as they kissed and had clearly missed it as much as he had. She thought they'd been doing so well in getting over one another, but she was wrong.
She pushed him back against the wall and climbed over him to sit in between his legs as she sat up on her knees to look at him.
He ran his hands up her thighs and under her dress, stopping at the waistband of her panties.
"I need you," he whispered as he gently squeezed her sides.
She couldn't say no to him. Not when he'd never once turned her down the many times he probably should have. And she didn't want to.
She leaned in and kissed him again as she opened his shirt all the way and he pulled her panties down to her knees.
He ran his hands back up her thighs to squeeze her ass as she kissed her way down to his neck. She wanted to mark him. But she knew that she couldn't mark him as high as she used to. This time she'd mark him for him and no one else.
He moved his hands up her body and to her shoulders so that he could pull her dress down around her waist.
Once she'd left a good mark on him, she sat up again and removed her bra and then sat on one side of his lap so that she could pull her panties off the rest of the way. Once they were off she straddled him and started kissing him again while he removed his pants and boxers.
She sat back on his knees and stroked him slowly while looking at him. She missed touching him and seeing him like this. The anticipation was killing him and she wanted to draw it out, even though it was killing her too.
She finally sat back up on her knees and lifted her dress up while he took hold of himself so that he could guide himself into her as she lowered herself onto him.
How had it been so long? He still knew her. She still felt so right on him. They had only been together, officially, for a couple of months, but they'd had a lot of sex in that short period.
He gripped her tight on her hips so that he could feel how her body moved on top of him and pulled her right nipple into his mouth.
It was hard to stay quiet, but she knew his parents were home and might check on him at any time, but being with him again felt so good.
He kept his hands on her and helped guide her body against his as he stayed deep inside of her. He wanted to hit all of her spots at the same time. And judging by her breathing he was doing a pretty good job.
Then he decided to stop her as he helped her to turn around. He wrapped his arm around her and guided himself back into her as he spread his legs to keep her from closing hers. He kept one arm around her and reached his other hand around to rub her spot as she alternated grinding and bouncing on top of him. He could tell by her movements that she was feeling really good.
He wasn't sure when it started, but he realized he was being louder than she was with his deep grunts. That is, until she let out a high pitched shriek and her entire body started convulsing on top of him. It almost felt like she was trying to escape the pleasure she was feeling. He reached up and covered her mouth and kept her right there on him as he continued to rub her through it. He wasn't done with her just yet.
Once her body calmed down he used the sudden extra lubrication to thrust himself more easily in and out of her. His hand he'd been using to rub her with was now gripping her ass to keep her in place. She was no longer doing any of the work, but she wasn't trying to escape him anymore. She seemed to enjoy him still being inside of her.
All of a sudden he felt as though his body might start convulsing too, but there was no way he was going to try to stop the feeling. Even with her suddenly grinding on top of him again. It'd been so long since he'd felt like this.
Once he was finally ready to let her go he realized how tight he'd been holding her. He was surprised she'd even been able to breathe. But she didn't seem bothered by it at all as she lifted herself off of him and sat next to him.
He grabbed her hand as they both breathed and she gripped his in return.
Then she sat up and found her bra and they both got dressed.
"You're not leaving yet are you?" he asked her.
Shanan pulled her dress back up over her and sat down with a worried look on her face.
"No, I wasn't going to yet..." she told him quietly.
"Hey... come here," he said as he grabbed her hands and pulled her to him. "We didn't do anything wrong. Ok?"
She couldn't help but feel really guilty as she looked down at the ground. Yes, she'd wanted to do it. Yes, she enjoyed herself. But the thought of hurting Kakashi, who she loved so much, made her sick.
"Shanan, look at me," he said as he gently grabbed her chin. He lifted her face to him and tears were streaming down her face. "Don't cry..." he said shakily as he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. "We didn't do anything wrong. I love you, you know that? It's ok."
She couldn't stop shaking. She had so many conflicting thoughts going through her mind.
"I still love you, too!" was the thought that had made its way out. "I keep trying not to, but I can't," she cried.
"I know," he said gently as he squeezed her tighter. "I know. Me too. Don't cry..."
She wiped her face on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It's supposed to be your crying day," she said as she sat up.
Shikamaru smiled at her. "Just you being here made me feel better. I knew you'd hold me... and let me lose myself if I needed to. I just miss you."
Shanan smiled back at him. "I just miss you, too."
They both sat in silence for a while. Leaving was hard.
"We probably should get you home," he said quietly. "I'll walk with you."
Shanan brightened a bit. "Are you sure?" she asked hopefully.
"I'm not gonna let you walk home alone after all that. But we should probably get any more kissing out of the way," he said with a smirk.
Shanan smiled weakly and wrapped her arms tight around his neck and kissed him as though she may never get the chance to again. Although, neither of them bothered to lie and say that this would be their last kiss this time. In fact, they both kinda hoped that it wouldn't be.
Authors Note: Please don't turn on Shanan. She's dealing with some extremely complicated emotions right now and basically has two different parallels of herself fighting for control.