To DD or Not to DD
Fandom: CSI:NY
Author: Kimmychu
Rating: FRAO (Really!)
Pairing: Danny/Flack, Danny/Mac
Content Warning: Cracktasticness, odd body changes, language. Did I mention cracktasticness?
Spoilers: Set after 'Necrophilia Americana', so spoilers for any episode previous to that
Summary: After a freak laboratory accident at CSI headquarters, Danny is cursed (or blessed, depending on how you see things) with very unusual ... add-ons. Inspired by a forum comment: "Danny is the show's DD breasts."
Disclaimer: Nope, none of the characters belong to me. What a shame. I would treat them oh so well. They have no idea what they're missing.
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Author's Notes: Uhm, gee, this was actually meant to be the last chapter … but the, uh, smutty bits here got out of hand, so … That means, the next and final chapter will be pure SMUT. Mwahahahah! Anyways, the late update was due to the site going down for a while. Enjoy! And thanks for the kind reviews!
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Chapter 29
Flack was turning out to be a total romantic nutcase, and that was just fine with Danny.
The CSI sure wasn't going to moan about having all his drinks and food and other expenses being fully paid for by the homicide detective that Saturday. On their first official date. But hey, he didn't mind Flack making him moan in other … pleasurable ways, no, sir.
The two detectives were going to spend the sunny, clear morning playing golf.
Miniature golf, that is.
"Told ya I'd take ya out on a date over a round a' golf, didn't I?" Flack had said to him as he picked Danny up outside his apartment building.
"No, you said ya wanted us to talk 'bout that urban golf case over a round 'a golf. And ya said golf. Not miniature golf." Danny took off his glasses and leaned over in the passenger seat to let Flack kiss him. He was now officially more addicted to the tall, dark-haired man's kisses than cigarettes and beer put together. Anyone who said he was a crazy sonofagun for thinking that apparently never got a taste of Flack in the morning. Or the afternoon. Or the evening. Or in bed after a frenzied bout of love making. Not that Danny was about to let any other human being get a savor of his lover anytime soon.
Heh. Maybe after a thousand years. Not.
"Whatever, Messer. Same difference," Flack answered with a smirk, pink lips warm and tasting like mint and black coffee.
Danny's chuckle and mischievous rejoinder was drowned out by Flack's enveloping mouth and tongue, and the CSI was more than happy to shut up. Fifteen minutes flew by in a spine-tingling session of wrestling tongues and sliding, moist lips and muted moans on the front seats of Flack's car. Danny laughed at the supremely dazed but content expression, which prompted Flack to kiss him again. Danny had to reluctantly extricate himself from his lover's octopus grip and smack Flack on the shoulder to provoke the guy to driving them anywhere that morning.
The smiling, shorter man was feeling so high he didn't give a damn if anyone saw the two of them together. They would probably be simply jealous he got to have an amazing guy like Don Flack, Jr. as his significant other. Danny smiled fondly at Flack as the other man started the car, looking like a tiger who just had his fill of delicious cream.
Wow. So this was what it felt like to be truly happy.
Flack drove them to Randall's Island Golf Center, arguably the best driving range on the island of Manhattan. Throughout their journey from Danny's apartment building in Queens to the Triboro Bridge and on to Randall's Island, Danny was squirming in his seat. Squirming, and trying his hardest to not to show any reaction to Flack's large hand under the jacket on his lap, over his groin.
"Whassamatter, Danny? The leather seats not to yer likin'?" Flack said with a wicked grin. Danny sunk pearly teeth into his lower lip hard and clamped a hand over his mouth. Flack's hand moved sinuously over the growing bulge in his pants. The CSI bit back a moan when Flack squeezed him.
"Don … if ya don't …" - Danny panted - "… take yer hand off …" - Danny clutched Flack's wrist under the jacket - "Ya better hope ya brought an extra pair of pants!"
Flack snickered, blue eyes warm like the early sunshine. "Nah, don't worry, I'm sure we can talk to the folks at the golfing range to let ya play naked from the waist down." Flack flashed another naughty grin. "What with you lovin' to moon people so much-"
The taller detective's snigger transformed into an all-out, choked laugh at Danny's freaked out response of wrapping his hands around Flack's neck and mock strangling him like cartoon character Homer Simpson did to his son, Bart. "Hey, quit it! I'm drivin' here!"
Danny punched him in the arm and flopped back onto his seat, face red and smiling luminously. "I am not interested in playin' miniature golf half naked or walkin' 'round a golf course with a freakin' hard on, okay, Flackie?"
"I told ya not to call me that." Flack had that faraway look of his whenever he fantasized about Danny. "Mmmm. Half nude Danny runnin' 'round on the green grass with an erection. Now that's an … intriguin' image."
The dark-haired, handsome man closed his mouth after seeing Danny's warning glower. Flack strained to maintain a straight face for about five minutes, then said casually, "Naked."
"Don."
"Naked. Running. Green, green grass."
"Doooon."
"Sprinklers. Wet and glistening." Flack licked his lips. "Lying down. Legs spread, me on top." His voice got hoarse. "Thrusting. In and out."
Danny gasped. His head slammed back against the seat's headrest, eyes closed tight. "Oh fuck, DON!" Danny punched the other man in the arm again, then hunched over in his seat, forehead resting on the dashboard. "Oh shit, you're makin' it worse …"
Flack broke into another peal of amused laughter. From the sound of it, Danny wasn't the only one who was affected by the imagery. "Me and my big mouth, ah?"
"No shit." Danny laughed along with his lover. "We haven't even gone that far yet."
Flack's big, blue eyes gleamed. "Yeah, well, we're gonna rectify that problem tonight."
Danny's expression was a mishmash of a pout and a tremulous smile threatening to break into a full cat grin. "Did ya just attempt to make a lame spoof of the word rectum?"
Flack shot Danny a comical, indignant look. He scrunched one eye shut, then spoke in a droll, pirate captain-like accent. "RECTUM? Aarrrr, ye dirty-minded SCOUNDREL! I oughta spank ya and smack ye eeeeevil ways outta ye bum!"
Danny curled up in his seat as he laughed. He never knew what to expect from his lover sometimes. "I didn't know my eeeeeevil ways lived in my ass. And by the way, I hear pirates suck at golf."
"Yaaarrrr, really now? I'll show ya a thing or two on the course!" Flack parked the car in an empty space in the vast parking lot, close to one of the entrances to the golf center.
Danny glanced pointedly at Flack's groin. "Well, I sure hope there's more than a thing or two, or you're missin' some preeeetty important bits there."
Flack hauled Danny closer, chuckling. "Well, I'm sure ya got a nice view a' my … thing or two last night." He affectionately pecked the now bespectacled man, then made a dramatic act of thinking really hard about something. "Ohhh, wait a minute … ya couldn't have looked at it for long since it was in yer mouth and all -"
Without a word, Danny clambered out of the car and headed straight for the golf center. The homicide detective ended up pacing behind the CSI, snickering softly and pleading loudly at the same time for a slyly smiling Danny to forgive him for being such a naughty boy. Of course, both men never quite made it to the doors until over a half hour later. It was very convenient the lavatory was nearby. It certainly gave both men the privacy needed for Flack to demonstrate again to Danny just how well-accommodating his mouth was. Not to mention how skillful Danny was also getting in said activity. Flack was a fine teacher.
The relief was only temporary. Danny could barely concentrate on the game, too busy staring at Flack's bottom encased in close-fitting, light blue jeans as the guy swung his club again and again. He could feel Flack's intense gaze on him too while it was his turn.
"C'mon, Danny, sink the ball into the hole."
Danny's eyes closed at the comment. Oh crap, so this was why Flack insisted on golf, of all the sports they could've played that day. He looked at Flack, who grinned unashamedly at him.
"Miniature golf, Messer. Looooong, hard objects, balls and hooooles. What's not to like 'bout it?" Flack waggled his thick eyebrows.
Danny slapped a hand over half his face, lips twitching. Flack was in Naughty Pun mode.
Uh oh. Danny was in big trouble.
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Morning turned into afternoon in a haze of really corny, sexually-charged puns from Flack, stolen caresses and fondles and quick kisses when they were alone. Alone time was rare, since it was the weekend and kids were all over the place on the miniature golf course. However, the moment they were on their own, Danny was a wild horndog who leapt on Flack like a cheetah going after a tasty gazelle. The combination of happy, horny Flack, super snark and constant allusions to a certain portion of the male anatomy was perfect for bringing out the sex maniac in the usually non-demonstrative CSI.
When Flack started on the art of polishing balls and handling the oh-so-hard-and-long club correctly to aim straight for the hole, Danny gave up on holding himself back and literally dragged Flack caveman-style to a thicket of verdant bushes close by. Once again, Danny proved Flack's theory of Lots of Humping equals Danny Moaning like a Sailor's Harlot was still watertight. Unfortunately, it also proved humping in a public place where anyone could stumble upon two gorgeous men doing it was risky business was just as true.
It took four very loud coughs from the amused female employee of the golf center standing beside them to snap the detectives out of their body-twisting activity. Although it was against regulations for couples, much less two men, to make out or do more advanced sexual acts, she could let them off this one time because they were cute. Flack and Danny used up a good ten minutes giggling like schoolgirls in same bushes after the young woman left. They tried not to think too much about how much she'd seen or why she was grinning like a loon when she went off.
The two detectives unanimously called it a day for miniature golf, and headed to their favorite pizza spot in Little Italy. There, Danny took his sweet revenge on his lover by driving Flack nuts through the sensual art of eating pizza the Danny Messer way. Which involved the straightforward technique of getting the tomato puree all over his fingers and then sucking on said fingers like they were the very part of Flack endearingly named the Jackhammer. The moment Flack grabbed his hand and began sucking on his fingers too, Danny figured it was the ideal time to crash at either his place or Flack's place until evening came.
Flack's apartment was closer. Danny was embarrassed and quite stunned to realize it was the first time ever that he'd stepped foot in the place Flack called home. Flack swiftly assisted him in putting away his feelings of guilt by carrying the CSI fireman-style to Flack's bedroom, where, after being stripped, Danny was free to moan and scream to his heart's content.
"Noooooo …" Danny's heartfelt groan brought Flack's head up. The taller, dark-haired man halted the movement of his fingers, which made Danny whine the same word in a higher pitch.
"What, Danny? Ya want me ta stop?" Flack smirked. His forefinger and middle finger were deep inside Danny, curved upwards so they stroked the gland within with every motion. Flack pressed his thumb hard into the other man's perineum, making Danny's supple body shudder.
"Nooooo, don't …" Danny tried to move his hips, but he was effectively trapped in position.
The CSI lay with his back bowed on the bed, knees on Flack's shoulders. Flack was leaning over him on his knees, right hand next to Danny's head to steady himself and the left between Danny's legs. Flack had pushed a folded pillow beneath Danny's hips to ease any ache in the shorter man's back. Danny's flat belly was already covered with white rivulets and blobs of semen. The smaller man came twice, while Flack came once as he stroked his cock and watched Danny orgasming hard the second time. Danny was seriously sensitive down there.
"Don't what? Don't move, don't stop?"Flack grinned, arching his two fingers and rubbing the prostate gland. A soft cry escaped Danny's sucked-in lips. The rippling muscles in Danny's abdomen fascinated and hypnotized Flack. The CSI tossed his head from side to side, pants and moans becoming more erratic the more Flack moved his fingers.
"C'mon, buddy, ya gotta be more specific here." Flack tilted downwards to lick a long trail along the circumference of Danny's neck from below one ear to the other. He nibbled one earlobe, breathing in Danny's pleasant scent.
Danny's hands shifted from where they were coiled in the folds of the blanket under the two men, onto Flack's shoulders, skimming over the smooth skin. "More."
Flack raised his head until they were touching foreheads and noses. "More fingers?"
Danny nodded. Flack kissed him, then tentatively pushed in another lubed finger into the constricting passage. Danny tried his best to stifle it, but Flack heard the pained whimper anyway. When Danny's thighs involuntarily closed, Flack pulled out all his fingers to the other man's dismay.
"Why -"
"Hey." Flack brushed at the hair near Danny's temples. "We can take it easy, okay? Pain's never part of the plan." At Danny's disappointed expression, Flack could virtually hear Danny berating himself inside his head. He removed the pillow from under Danny and lay down so their bodies were skin to skin from chest to toes. He nuzzled into Danny's cheek. "Hey, it's okay."
Danny looked so much like an innocent child without his glasses and his blue eyes wide with trust and something Flack ardently hoped was what he was feeling right then too.
"I know," Danny replied in a small voice, "It's just … I … I really …" The CSI turned bright red. "I really want you inside me."
Flack stared in wonderment. Whoa, his heart must have burst, because he sure was feeling higher than a kite and he didn't even need a single drop of alcohol to do it. An elated smile spread across Flack's features. "Yeah?"
Danny looked away, nibbling on his lower lip. "Yeah, but … I, uh … I want our … our first time at my place." His blush became an even deeper red.
Flack swore his lower face had to be all teeth in the biggest smile in the world. "Yeah?"
Danny glowered at Flack. "Yeah, and I've already got stuff ready so it had better be there!"
Flack chuckled jovially. "Wow. You've prepared for it."
Danny's lips twitched. "Don't make me punch ya."
Flack's massive grin morphed into a tender smile. "I wasn't teasin' ya. I meant to say, I'm touched. It means somethin' to you and to me. You can bet I'll make it a night to remember for a long, long time, Danny."
Danny's cerulean eyes were crystal clear in the afternoon light. The CSI's lips slowly curled into the smile Flack would deem the one he could truly claim as his alone. It was the one Danny would use to speak of sunny mornings and gentle kisses and love in their future days together.
"I'm lookin' forward to it, Donny," Danny said in a faint, husky tone. Flack really liked the sound of his name like that coming from Danny's lips.
Their lips met in yet another moist kiss. One of Flack's hands crept down to their erections, grasping them in a fist. Danny's hips instinctively thrust forward, rubbing their hard cocks together and drawing groans from both men.
"One last time … then I got some things to give ya, okay?"
Danny could only reply with a high moan.
Flack moved his hand up and down their erect shafts relentlessly and fast, wrenching a harsh cry from Danny. Their lithe legs intertwined, muscular thighs and shins caressing together as they strived for that burst of pleasure. Flack slid a hand under Danny's neck and head to kiss him and swallow his increasing moans. Danny was the only person whom he could ever kiss throughout an entire session of sex and not feel weird about it.
A violent tremor shook Danny's lean body. Flack felt Danny's cock in his fist jerk, then hot wetness spreading between their heated bodies. Danny threw back his head and moaned, leaving his bared neck for Flack to bite. Danny jolted at the additional stimuli of Flack's teeth and wet tongue on his neck. Oh fuck, he felt like he was going to come again. Flack's pants were getting louder, hand movements more irregular and weakening. Danny slithered a hand down and wrapped it around Flack's, yanking both hands upwards and downwards with renewed vigor. He flicked a thumb over the sensitive head of Flack's erection.
That was all it took for Flack to come. The homicide detective groaned piercingly, burying his face in Danny's sweaty neck as he spurted white seed onto Danny's stomach. Flack's hand unintentionally tightened around both their cocks. Unbelievably, Danny's body shuddered again in another smaller but just as gratifying orgasm. Only a single bead of come seeped from Danny's softening penis.
They rested together on Flack's bed for a long time, entwined so closely it was difficult to tell where one man started and the other ended. Danny intermittently nibbled on the soft skin on Flack's collarbones while he snuggled into the taller man's solid chest, safe and warm in Flack's embrace. Flack simply nuzzled Danny's hair, relishing the soft texture against his patrician nose.
Eventually, Flack got up and used some tissue paper on the side table to wipe his hand and their bellies clean. Then he groped around in his cupboard for whatever he promised he was going to give Danny. Danny grinned. He was already gifted with a wonderful view of Flack's bare bottom waving in his face.
"Here." Flack dumped some bags onto the bed.
Danny sat up and delved into the bag closest to him. "Don …" He pulled out what appeared to be a very expensive-looking pair of leather trousers, outfitted with an assortment of silver buckles and studs. A silver zip ran from front to back via the groin and nether region. "What is this?"
Flack snickered. "Turn it around."
Danny flipped it so he got a good view of the back. "Holy -"
Flack laughed aloud at Danny's aghast expression.
"Holy crap, where're the bits that cover the BUTT!"
Flack keeled over on the bed, laughing too hard to articulate an answer. Danny slapped Flack's forearm, the nearest limb he could get his hand on.
"That … that's the way the pants are supposed ta be!" Flack's laughter bordered on smothering him when Danny looked more horror-struck than ever.
"I'm not gonna wear this outside! Where the heck am I gonna wear pants like these!" Danny suddenly noticed the price tag was still on it. "Oh my G- … Don, these trousers cost nearly five hundred dollars!"
The taller man finally found enough strength to get up and sit closer to Danny, wiping away tears from laughing so much. "Yeah, well, they were worth it just for the look on yer face!" Flack chuckled a little more. "I was hopin' we could pay a visit to the Seventh Gate tonight. But, since ya wanna … ya know, we'll leave it to another night."
'You mean … that club you told me 'bout?"
"Yeah." Flack grinned broadly. "I got the inspiration to get these after I saw a guy there wearing somethin' like it. You'll definitely give him a run for his money, with an ass like yours."
Danny stared at his lover for a moment, and laughed, eyes crinkled. "I don't believe this. You went and got me five hundred dollar leather trousers just so I can walk 'round with my butt hangin' out. Ya nut."
"Hey, don't diss the ass." Flack pushed the other bags towards Danny. "C'mon, look at the other stuff. I got them while you were still stayin' over at Mac's hideout apartment."
Ah, that explained why Flack was incognito that day before Danielle's date with the IAB chief. With a little smile, Danny took out the items from each bag and laid them on the bed. His blue eyes were probably bigger than his head at the sight of the grand leather jacket with its meticulous stitching and well-formed pattern. There was no way that thing was cheap. Danny's jaws dropped even further at the semi-transparent, Goth-like tops and the cosmetic things.
"Oh, the eyeliner and the mascara and stuff?" Flack picked up the eyeliner as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him to do. "I always wanted to know what ya look like in it. And anyway, that time when ya wore makeup for that date don't count."
"Don … is there … is there somethin' you'd like to tell me?"
Flack abruptly looked very serious. "Yeah. There is." He inclined forward until his nose was an inch away from Danny's.
"I love you, Danny Messer."
Danny blinked. Nah, it was just the bright afternoon light making his eyes all blurry.
Flack seemed to smile lovingly in understanding, and gave Danny a gentle kiss. "There're lotsa things ya don't know about me yet, Danny. But the best part is, we always have today to find out 'bout each other, and every other today that'll come our way with each set and rise of the sun." The homicide detective ran long fingers through Danny's mussed hair. "All this stuff? It don't matter to me how much it cost. As long as it makes you happy, I'm happy. 'Course, if ya don't like it, I can always return it -"
Whatever else Flack was about to say was overwhelmed by Danny's moist lips over his. It was some time before Flack broke the kiss to hug Danny tightly in his lanky arms. "I think you'll make a fuckin' hot Goth."
Danny let out a wet chuckle as he rested his head where Flack's neck met with his shoulder. "S'funny. I was 'bout to say the same to you."
Flack smirked. "Heh. I know I am." He yelped at the pinch in his side. Well, at least it was better than a punch.
"You're reaaal modest, aren't ya?" Danny asked with a mock glare.
"Yeah. You musta rubbed off on me pretty good."
Both men sniggered at Flack's unintended innuendo. Flack nipped Danny lightly on the tip of his nose.
"C'mon." The tall detective tapped the eyeliner pencil and mascara on his palm, smiling mischievously. "Let's make ya beautiful."
OooooooooooooooooooooooooO
It was Daniel's muffled but joyous laughter that compelled Mrs. Belinda Penrose to saunter up to her apartment's front door. She had known the sweet if sometimes distant young man ever since he first moved to the apartment next door over five years ago.
In all that time, this was possibly the first time she'd ever heard him laugh like that. Like he had discovered his pearl in the field, at last.
She put one finger to her puckered lips and hushed her pet Corgi dog, Einstein, who woofed in curiosity at her. She had to find out who was responsible for bringing such happiness to Daniel's voice. Little by little, her apartment door creaked open until there was a tiny gap big enough to peer through. Ah, Daniel was there at the top of the staircase now. A beautiful smile graced her aged visage. Indeed, Daniel appeared absolutely vibrant and in high spirits in all ways.
"Heeeey, after all the things I got ya, least you could do is tell me what ya did!"
Mrs. Penrose's smile brightened significantly. Well, well, she was right after all.
Daniel laughed, agilely evading Donny's hands that were making a quick grab for him. "And I told you I'm not sayin' anythin'!"
As they approached, Mrs. Penrose saw that both men were dressed in what young people these days considered club clothes, as Daniel himself once clarified for her. Daniel had his usual faded and ripped jeans on, but his top was another story. If she was his mother and had any say about his choice of clothes, she would have immediately made him change to a less … transparent one. But, luckily, she wasn't. And it was very true that even in her old age, she could still fully appreciate the lovely aesthetics of the fit male body.
Mrs. Penrose chortled to herself. Why, Donny had a similar top on as well. The long sleeves were covered in some bizarre zebra-like pattern that was a different color scheme than Daniel's. But starting from the shoulders down, the semi-transparent mesh of the shirt, there was little left to the imagination. And goodness, were they both wearing black eyeliner and mascara?
"Belinda! What are you looking at?" Her best friend Magda of nearly sixty years lounged in front of the television set, petting Einstein on the couch. Magda was smiling in amusement at her antics at the front door.
Mrs. Penrose turned around and shushed Magda the same way she hushed Einstein. "It's Daniel and Donny. They must be back from a night out in town."
Magda's smile changed into a huge, excited grin. "Ohh, really! Won't you invite them in?"
Mrs. Penrose tittered affably, heading with her trusty cane for the kitchen. "I'll give them the chocolate brownies we made today, and see if they have a little time to chitchat with us."
"They're such lovely boys, aren't they?"
Einstein barked in agreement with Magda's statement.
Mrs. Penrose tittered some more. She carefully took the plate of brownies from her kitchen table and moseyed back to her front door. She hoped she didn't put too much sugar in them today; she knew Daniel didn't like to eat food that was too sugary. Donny liked her brownies very sweet though.
The unmistakable sounds that floated to her ears made her hesitate at the door for a second or so. No, it would be rude to intrude on them. She thought about waiting for a few minutes, and then changed her mind. She giggled. Ah well, she could always use the excuse of having bad hearing in her old age.
"Mmmm, Don … let m-lemme open the door."
The only way Mrs. Penrose could put it was that Donny had Daniel crushed against the wall next to his apartment door with his gangly body, running his large hands up and down Daniel's flanks. It was quite mesmerizing to watch the two fine-looking men kissing and getting lost in each other. There was something charming about the way Daniel had his arms folded around Donny's neck while the other man whispered sweet nothings between kisses. Some shopping bags were left abandoned at their feet.
After five minutes passed and the boys showed no indication of even knowing she was there, she cleared her throat once and said gleefully, "Oh, Daniel, Donny! How wonderful to s-"
Daniel virtually jumped out of his skin with a shriek and Donny bounded a good three feet backwards in fright at her voice. She couldn't help giggling at their shocked expressions, especially when they attempted to act like nothing had happened in the last five minutes or so.
"M-Mrs-MRS. PENROSE!" Daniel's voice had gone five octaves higher. "Heeeey, how ya doin'?"
Daniel spied the bags on the floor and instantly snatched one to hold in front of his lower body. He had a toothy grin of a little boy who just got caught red-handed stealing from the cookie jar. Donny hid behind Daniel, peering sideways to shyly wave at her and say hello too. They were so cute when they blushed as red as they did now.
"I'm sorry, boys, was I … interrupting something?"
The two young men immediately shook their heads wildly in disagreement, both saying, "Ohhh, nononononooooooo!"
"Noooooooo, of couuuuurse not!" Donny's voice was even higher than Daniel's. "We were just, uh, just … back from a night at the, uhm, local pub! Yeah." The taller detective grinned nervously.
"Ohh, I thought you boys might have gone clubbing instead." Mrs. Penrose glanced at Daniel's midriff through the see-through mesh of his top. Goodness gracious, she certainly didn't need to worry whether Daniel was taking good care of his body or not! "Daniel once mentioned to me that these," - she reached out and pinched a fold of the shirt above his navel - "Were club clothes."
Daniel turned a darker two shades of crimson. She had to forcibly stifle another round of chuckles at the young bespectacled man's deed of subtly draping an arm over his chest, right over his nipples. From the contortion of Donny's facial muscles, she safely presumed the other young man found it equally amusing.
"Uh, yeah, we went clubbing for a while, ma'am. See some new friends a' mine, have some drinks, dance, ya know," Donny said nonchalantly, hands on hips. He was still hiding behind Daniel. She smiled impishly. Oh, she was no stranger to what the handsome, dark-haired detective was concealing behind his friend. That's what she got for having married a lusty fiend like her late Gregory.
"Well, I won't keep you boys any longer since you've had such a long night." She gave them a kind and pleased smile, handing them the plate of homemade brownies. "I hope you won't mind having some of my chocolate brownies? Magda's over again, so we decided to make a big batch."
"Broooownies!" At the sight of the dark, scrumptious confectionary, Flack forgot about modesty and sprung forward to take the plate. He speedily pitched a rectangular piece into his gaping mouth and munched happily on it. "Shthank yuuh, Mirrshush Phenrossh."
Mrs. Penrose chortled. "You're very welcome, Donny."
Daniel, evidently, had also forgotten about modesty and was holding the shopping bag at his side, gazing at Donny with a suffering expression.
"You. Are such. A pig."
Chewing on his second piece, Donny stared back at Daniel with a humorous look of affront. "Whhhhaaaaaaaat? Shthey're ghhood!"
Daniel spluttered. "I mean … could you at least have waited until we went inside 'fore ya stuffed yer face!"
Donny swallowed and pouted. There were chocolate stains at the corner of his lips. "I was hungry."
Daniel rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. "Refer to my pig statement, please."
The taller man's pout intensified. "S'not my fault I was blessed with magnificent metabolism."
Mrs. Penrose had to place a hand over the upper left side of her chest. Their banter reminded her so much of her own with her beloved Gregory in decades gone by, it made her old heart ache in a bittersweet way.
Daniel snickered. "I dunno why I put up with ya."
A profound, fond emotion materialized in Donny's bright, blue eyes. He was about to say something to Daniel when he realized she was still there with them. His blush returned in a jiffy.
"Thank you so much for the brownies, Mrs. Penrose," Daniel said warmly to her, giving her a hug and a friendly kiss on her temple. "They're the best in the whole world."
Now it was her turn to flush. "That's very sweet of you to say, Daniel." She patted his cheek. "Now you boys go on in and have a good night, alright?"
Both men thanked her again and waved goodbye before Daniel unlocked his apartment door. Donny was arguing with his friend over the correctness of branding him a pig even as they entered Daniel's apartment and shut the door.
Mrs. Penrose stood where she was, listening intently for any noises that filtered through the door.
There was a muted thud, like the sound of heavy shopping bags hitting the floor.
"Danny, whoa, wait! Lemme put these brownies down fir-"
A sharp clatter of something light and hard falling onto the floor.
Silence for over a minute.
Then somebody groaned loudly.
More silence for a few more minutes.
More thwacking sounds, of hurried, excited footsteps deeper into the apartment.
A very subdued slam of the door.
Mrs. Penrose smiled optimistically to herself, and thought about the days before when she saw how melancholy and lonely Daniel used to be. It was about damn time.
"Belinda! You're missing the show!"
"I'm coming, darling. Just hold on there." Mrs. Penrose took her time walking back into her own apartment, locking the door and cooing to Einstein as she collapsed contentedly on the couch next to her best friend. Einstein dived onto her lap and settled himself there like he always did for the last ten years since they were together.
"How are the boys?"
"They're doing just fine. Painted the whole town red tonight, it seems."
"Ah, sounds like they had lots of fun."
"Oh, you know how young people are like these days. The night isn't over until the sun is up."
Magda chuckled in agreement. The two old ladies sank comfortably into the sofa cushions, watching a Seinfeld marathon on the television. They drank tea from porcelain tea cups and chomped on some butter shortbread they'd baked along with the chocolate brownies.
A half hour passed.
Suddenly, an audible moan was heard. It came from opposite the wall of the living area they were facing.
A minute passed.
There was another higher moan.
And then the wall began to faintly vibrate, each tremor accompanied by a noisy, forceful thump.
Mrs. Penrose and Magda calmly watched the television as the thumping noises continued for almost twenty minutes.
When the second Seinfeld episode of the show's marathon concluded, Mrs. Penrose swiveled her head slowly to face her close friend.
"My dearest Magda."
Magda also pivoted her head to smile warmly at her.
'Yes, Belinda?"
Mrs. Penrose's benevolent, green eyes twinkled dazzlingly as she showed her companion the palm of her right hand.
"I do believe, my dear … you owe me one hundred dollars."