Kara fought the urge to scream. This whole damn process was infuriating.
She had started her morning by helping load Raptor after Raptor full of people on their way down to the surface of New Caprica before hoping into her Viper to escort the ship. She knew this was the last time she would see these people for at least a few months. Most aspects of her job as CAG turned out to be fairly easy. Some were rather hard. Saying goodbye to the people she cared about was one of those things.
Most people had wished her well now that she had decided to stay on Galactica. With a smile and wave, they were gone. There had been one rather sad goodbye to probably the best triad player in the Fleet besides herself and any one of the Adamas. Out of all the pilots, Racetrack seemed to understand the kind of person Kara was, and she didn't dwell on the fact that Kara had once been an incredibly large figure in the public eye. They had spent many late nights trading insults and stories over the triad table, and Kara was going to miss that. Coming to terms that they were on different paths at the moment was hard to do.
The hardest goodbye by far was Sam. She had insisted she ride with him down to New Caprica. Kara had used the time wisely, begging him to stay with her on Galactica up until the moment the Raptor docked. She told him it was the only truly safe place he could be, but he simply shook his head. He wanted to carve out his own place in this new home, and he figured it would be better if he did that on his own. Kara watched him walk off the shuttle, knowing this was the door to her old life slamming shut.
She took the shuttle back to Galactica and told those waiting for her to land that she was done ushering these people to their death. She was about to get herself lost in the bottom of a bottle of ambrosia when a page from the CIC told her to pack up her things and report to the hangar bay. She was being rounded up just like a few dozen other lucky people for transfers and reassignments.
The Old Man told them that they were all going to experience reassignment which could mean they were going to Pegasus or they just had a different job to do on Galactica. Kara had to concentrate really fraking hard not to get mad. She had just gotten used to being the CAG on Galactica. It was going to hurt a little when the Old Man took that away from her.
"Any idea what the frak is going to happen?"
Kara felt the tension drop away at the sound of Zak's voice. She tightened her grip on the duffel containing all her worldly possessions and turned to smile at him. "No idea. I'm thinking they're really just rounding us up to be thrown into the brig. Your father's clever like that."
Zak chuckled. "Considering you're here, I'd have to agree."
Kara's mouth dropped open as she reached out to slug Zak's shoulder. "Didn't you ever learn that it isn't nice to insult girls?"
"I must have missed that day in second grade," Zak countered.
Kara sighed and turned to rake her eyes across the hangar bay again. "Seriously, Zak, did you have any idea about this?"
"The Old Man and Lee were giving me hints to this all week long. This morning, they came out and said I was being promoted to Deck Chief of Galactica."
"Deck Chief?" Kara exclaimed. "That's fraking great, Zak!"
"Yeah, I guess so. I'm just afraid that President Baltar is going to start accusing my father of starting an army against him or something."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, his oldest son is the Commander of Pegasus and now his youngest son is going to be the Deck Chief on Galactica. People are going to start whispering."
Kara nodded. "If someone didn't know better, it would seem like the Old Man's putting people he trusts into the only positions of power he has left. Baltar would be a fool not to see it."
"And he sure as hell won't listen to anyone who tries to convince him that there's no one better for the positions." They shifted back into the quiet of the hangar bay before Zak snapped out of it. He shook his head and turned back to face Kara. "I don't know what they intend to do with you, though, Kara. I'm sorry."
"It's not a big deal, Zak. I always thought my being the CAG was a temporary thing."
"You honestly think they're demoting you?"
"I don't know," Kara said. She was being honest. She really had no clue as to what the Old Man and Lee had decided to do with her. Nothing could surprise her, though. If they marched her to the nearest airlock and chucked her out, she wouldn't even think twice about whether she deserved it.
A few crewman walked past the two of them, pausing only to avert their eyes. The airlock option was starting to look more and more like reality each second she was left waiting. Kara decided she needed to keep her mind occupied with other things if she was going to stay sane. Sighing, she turned to look at Zak again. "I thought Tyrol was staying on Galactica."
"He is," Zak replied. "The Chief's staying long enough to train me to do the job. Then the Old Man's discharging him to the surface of New Caprica."
"Wow, you get training and everything?" Kara said with a laugh. "I wish I got training."
"You didn't need training," a gruff voice said from behind them. Kara and Zak turned at the same moment to snap salutes at the Admiral. "At ease, you two. Didn't anyone tell you that protocol doesn't exist anymore?"
Kara let out an easy laugh. It was a joke, but she had a feeling pretty soon things might actually get that bad. People were going to get lax, and mistakes were going to be made.
"What brings you down among the peons, Dad?" Zak asked.
"Two things, actually. One, I wanted to congratulate my son officially." Adama clapped his hand on Zak's shoulder. "I'm very proud of you."
"Even if I'll never be the Commander of a battlestar?" Zak teased.
"You know that's never mattered to me, Zak."
Zak gave a small nod before reaching to pick up his pack. He had the presence of mind to know when his father was lying. Adama probably had intended to congratulate him, but that was not the reason he was here at the exact second. Zak knew enough to get out of the way for the next part. "Well, I have to move my stuff into the senior crewman bunkroom. I feel the need to establish my presence before those idiots get it in their head that it's easy sailing now that fun-loving Zak's in charge."
Kara was still shaking her head as Zak threw a wave over his shoulder and walked out of the hangar bay. "He's really happy, sir," she said, turning to smile at the Admiral.
"I know. That was one of the reasons I wanted him for the position."
"What was the other?"
"Lee told me that I would be stupid not to."
Kara nodded. Of course Lee was partially behind this.
The strap of her bag slipped off her shoulder, and Kara quickly pushed it back up. It served to remind Adama that he was in the hangar bay for other reasons besides congratulating Zak. He turned to look at the empty Raptor in front of them. "Would you mind taking me for a ride?"
Kara followed the line of his eyes and smiled. "You miss the sky, sir?"
"Something like that."
They settled into the pilot and co-pilot seats of the Raptor like they had been doing this every day for years. Kara began the pre-flight checks. "Does the Colonel know you're taking this little joy ride?"
Adama laughed. "I cleared it with my XO, if that's what you're asking."
"So this is a planned thing," Kara said, powering up the Raptor.
"Everything I do is planned, Lieutenant."
The conversation broke off as Kara concentrated on taking the ship into the air. It had been awhile since Lee had taught her how to fly one of these ships. She had to focus if she didn't want to kill the most powerful man in the Fleet.
Eventually they made it into the wide open atmosphere, free of all ships and obstacles, and Kara let herself relax. "Where exactly do you feel like heading, Old Man?" she asked.
"I have a project for you on the Pegasus, so head in that direction."
Kara's brow furrowed, but she did as the Admiral asked. Her mind was already racing with the prospect of seeing Lee. If there was one thing left that she could count on now that the Fleet had given up on the dream of finding Earth, it was the fact that Lee would be on the Pegasus. He would never abandon his ship. She could already feel the nerves in her stomach begin to twitch. She hadn't seen Lee since she left to rescue Anders from Caprica. "Is this a permanent or temporary thing?"
"The project is temporary," Adama replied. He watched Kara's face fall slightly out of the corner of his eye and had to fight the urge to smile. Even though the project was probably going to last a few days at most, he had a feeling the assignment to Pegasus was going to stick around a lot longer than that.
The flight from one battlestar to the other never took very long, which could be either a good or a bad thing. Right now, Kara was trying to decide which one it was. She was desperate to see Lee, but she didn't want to just bump into him in the halls. She didn't want to see him for a few days and then say goodbye. She was tired of fraking saying goodbye to him.
Kara was so lost her in thoughts that she didn't even bother to worry about the landing. It was picture perfect, but no one would really have expected otherwise when it came to Kara Thrace flying on instinct. She powered down the ship and was about to hit the switches to open the ramp when Adama rested his hand on top of hers. "Before we go out there, I want to apologize to you."
"For what?"
"I was a little too caught up in the things that were happening to realize I hadn't given you these yet." Adama pulled a small black box out of his pocket and held it out to her. When Kara had opened it, he added, "Congratulations, Captain Thrace."
Kara looked down at the shiny gold rank pins. "I don't understand."
"You've been the CAG of Galactica for far too long without being rewarded. It is the customary promotion." Kara let out a chuckle which quickly snowballed into uncontrollable laughter. "Is there something funny, Starbuck?"
"No, sir, it's just… the idea of me being a Captain in the Colonial Military is kind of ridiculous. Less than a year ago, I was the star player on a pyramid team. I had never even flown a Viper."
Adama took one of the pins out of the box and attached it to her flight suit. Smiling, he gave her an approving nod before pressing the button to lower the ramp. "Life changes quickly. I'm glad you didn't get lost in it."
Kara gave him a small smile and leaned down to slid the box into her bag of belongings. Together, she and Adama walked onto Pegasus. The ship was in the same disarray that Galactica was in. The transition from full staff to half staff was rocky at best. Not to mention most of the crew had spent the morning just like Kara, ushering their friends and family to a place they could never go.
"Feels familiar, doesn't it?" Adama asked as they walked the corridors.
"It's been awhile since I was on this ship," Kara stated. "It's kind of creepy."
"Give Lee time. He's going to have this ship feeling as cozy as Galactica."
Kara snorted. The idea of Galactica being cozy was ludicrous. Yet it was her home. "Losing half his crew isn't going to help the matter."
"You'd be surprised the way you can suddenly wake up to see your whole environment's changed. The people of Pegasus and Galactica are going to adjust to the shift in no time at all, Captain."
"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to that," she said, indicating her newly acquired rank. Her eyes fell to the pin on the breast of her flight suit. "I mean, you just said it and immediately I thought you were referring to Anders."
"Your pyramid captain?"
"And ex-fiancé, that's Sam."
Adama nodded. "He went down to the surface this morning, didn't he?"
"I couldn't talk him out of it. He's stubborn, and he wants to live his own life. I told him it wasn't safe, but he didn't listen."
"That's very rational of you."
"You sound surprised," Kara pointed out.
"I am. The way people talked on Galactica, you and Samuel Anders were a match made by the gods. I find it hard to believe you can let him go this easily."
"Sam is someone special to me, sir, but like I said, he wants to live his own life. My life is on your ship. It's who I am now. I can't change that."
"This has something to do with my son, doesn't it?" Adama smiled at the way Kara blushed. "That's what I thought." He pulled to a stop in front of a hatchway. "We're here."
It took Kara a moment to realize where they were, but when she did, she felt her whole body tense up. "Sir?"
"Go inside, Kara. It's not really my project that needs your help." Adama touched her cheek lightly. "You're a good woman, Captain, the kind of woman I would have wanted my child to grow up to be if I had had a daughter. It's been a pleasure having you under my command."
Kara rolled her eyes in an attempt to get the tears to stop pooling. "It sounds like you're saying goodbye, sir."
"No, never goodbye," Adama said. He leaned in to kiss the top of her head before turning on heel and disappearing down the corridor.
Kara stood staring at the closed hatchway door. The last time she had been in this spot was when she was leaving to rescue Anders from Caprica. She had slipped up that day and called him flyboy. Things that were better left forgotten came flooding back, and if there hadn't been a team of twenty Raptors waiting for her in the hangar bay, she would have stayed with Lee right then and there.
Sighing, she reached her hand up to knock on the hatchway. The Old Man would not be happy if she wimped out of this little project. He had taken the time to bring her here, right to this very point.
Her heart leaped a little when she heard Lee's voice telling her to enter. For some strange reason, she was afraid she would hear Dee or something. She stepped in to the room to see not one thing changed. The briefing table was high and had a complete lack of chairs. The walls were still the dull grey metal of the rest of the ship. There was a cool chill in the air that Kara knew would never fully leave.
The only thing different was Lee. He was leaning in the doorway to the personal quarters that were attached to his office, staring at something inside the room. It was a familiar site, seeing him in his double tanks and cargos. He turned and smiled when he saw it was her.
Kara clicked the hatch shut. "Shouldn't you be in your dress blues, sir?" Lee shook his head and just kept staring at her. Kara couldn't help but start to squirm under his watchful eye. "I figured you'd be busy with all the moving and shifting that's been going on today. I was surprised when the Old Man said you were in here with a project for me."
Lee let out a small laugh. "I do have a project for you." He looked her up and down. "You're not particularly attached to those clothes, are you?"
Kara gave him a funny look before shaking her head no.
"Good."
"What's the project, Commander?" she asked.
Lee gestured for her. "Come over here, Kara."
After a slight hesitation, she walked over. He pointed into his quarters, and Kara leaned in to take a look. The bed was in shambles, having obviously been slept in recently. Kara tried to not to think of who had probably been sleeping there with Lee. There was a small desk with mounds of paperwork on it. It looked exactly like the desk Lee had used to do the not-so-exciting half of the CAG job on Galactica. Overall, it was a room like every other room.
"Am I supposed to be seeing something in particular?" she asked, turning to look at him. A small blush came over her as she realized Lee had been staring at her the whole time she was checking out the room. He had always loved looking at her, a tiny voice in the back of her head pointed out.
"People call this place the Room of Death. Did you know that?"
Kara shook her head and turned to look at the room again. She had heard that a few times. It sort of made sense considering most of the people who move into this room end up dying in some brutal way.
"It has this aura about it. It really does feel like a Room of Death," Lee said with a laugh. He grabbed Kara's hand and lead her out into his office. Kara tried to get her heart to stop beating out of control. Lee had not initiated contact between them in months. She had no idea why he was doing it now.
Still holding her hand, Lee gestured down to a pile of supplies sitting below the briefing table. "I really don't want it to stay that way. So I figured you could help."
Kara's eyes went wide as she took in what was probably the only interior paint left in the world. "Is that what I think it is?"
"You want a room painted, you go to a painter," Lee said.
Kara let her bag of possessions drop to the ground and let go of Lee's hand with only a small tinge of regret. She leaned her body down to take a closer look. "So the Old Man and you got me over here to paint your office?"
"And my quarters," Lee added. "I don't want to sleep in the Room of Death, either."
"I still don't understand why you're not in uniform," Kara said. She was already opening the paints and testing the colors on the back of her hand. It was a lot easier to focus on the wonderful supplies in front of her rather than the thoughts in her head. Because if she wasn't trying to control them, they would be racing right about now. It made no sense why she was here with Lee, and she had a feeling he wasn't going to explain.
"I couldn't get paint stains on my dress blues. There aren't that many left."
Kara looked over her shoulder to give him a funny look. "You're painting, too?"
Lee laughed and crouched down on the ground next to her. His body brushed against hers, and Kara had to hold back a moan. "Of course I'm painting, too. I figured it might be a nice way for me to unwind after the complete mess of a day I've had."
Kara nodded. She wasn't sure how to take the fact that Lee had purposefully arranged to spend time alone with her. "I think we should paint your quarters blue," she said, pointing to the can of navy paint. "You seem like a blue kind of guy."
"It's my favorite color," Lee replied.
Kara turned to smile at him, and she could feel her heart fall a little more. More than anything, she had missed being around him. It was odd how quickly she had come to need Lee in her life. They hadn't even known each other for a full year, and she really couldn't imagine her life without him.
Trying to ignore the distracting thoughts floating in her head, Kara grabbed the can of paint and two brushes. She stood up and began walking into Lee's personal quarters. When Lee didn't follow her immediately, she called over her shoulder, "Let's do this, flyboy."
She stumbled in her tracks a little when she realized she had once again casually used that word, but Lee just kept walking behind her. He either wasn't commenting or he didn't pick up on it. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Right now, it probably would be a lot easier if Lee would just tell her what this was really about.
Once Kara had crossed the threshold into Lee's personal quarters, something shifted, and Lee started asking her a million questions about the things she had done that day. It didn't take Kara long to figure out why. "You miss it, don't you?" she said, interrupting his current question.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lee said.
Kara wanted to laugh. He had been painting the same two inches for the past five minutes because he was too busy listening to her describe every detail of the shuttle runs. He knew what she was talking about. "You miss flying. Being the Commander and all, it's probably been weeks since you've seen the inside of a cockpit."
Lee sighed and set down his brush. "Yeah, I miss it. You know, I transferred to the reserves right before I came to Galactica for its decommissioning ceremony. I was supposed to stop flying by the end of the solar year."
"That would have been stupid of you," Kara pointed out.
"Yeah, I know that now. Flying is in my blood, and it always has been. My love for it has nothing to do with what my father wanted. I'm the one that wanted to be a Viper pilot. I was just too stupid to admit it."
Kara listened to Lee, all the time wondering when he had gotten so sad. His shoulders had a wilt to them that wasn't there before. It was almost as if he had this huge weight on his back that he couldn't let go of. She could feel the guilt rising up inside of her. She had been a part of the reason why that weight got to be so large. Looking down at her hands, she played with the ends of her brush until an idea popped into her head. "You know what else was stupid?"
"What?" Lee said, turning to look at her.
"Taking your eyes off of me." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Kara smacked her paintbrush up against his cheek. Lee looked completely shocked, so she couldn't help but smack the other one. "Now you have a matching pair," she said proudly.
Lee narrowed his eyes before pushing her face lightly into the wall. He pulled her back to see her nose was now a light shade of navy.
What came next was an all-out war, full of pushing, shoving, and cheating. Kara tried to ignore the way Lee's hands kept finding a way to rest on her body as they both set themselves up for the next round of attacks. She tried to pay no attention to the way he was smiling at her. It had been months since he had given her this predatory look. It was similar to the way he looked at her while they were on Caprica rather than the way he had looked at her that day in the bunkroom when they were both drinking and he decided it would be a good time to frak the living daylights out of her.
Kara hated the way that having Lee touch her in such a uncomplicated way put her whole body on edge.
If she was thinking rationally, this whole situation should be simple. No other man had ever had this effect on her so therefore she should not be afraid to want him. True to her nature, though, she had fraked it up and now Lee didn't want to bother. He wasn't going to want a broken woman like her when he had Dee and all the perfection that comes along with her.
Her thoughts were pulled away from that unwelcome topic when Lee swooped in to push her against the wall, effectively covering her whole backside with paint. He held her there for a moment too long, and Kara thought for a moment he was actually going to kiss her. Then, whatever was in the air shifted, and they went back to the pushing and shoving.
By the time the fight was over, they were both on the floor, gasping for air between fits of laughter. Their clothes had large navy slash marks across them that extended onto the skin of their arms and neck and face. Kara's hair had so much paint in it that it looked like there were blue highlights.
Lee continued to stare at the odd combination of blue and blonde as he laid his back against the floor. "Blue is your color, Kara."
Kara let out a chuckle and leaned back against the non-painted wall. There was a comfortable silence between them as they both wound down from their little scuffle. "That was fun," Lee sighed. "It's been ages since I've done something as stupid as a paint fight."
Kara nodded, but her smile quickly faded as she realized this was probably coming to an end. "I'm sure you have better things to be doing, what with the relocation and everything."
Lee's hand reached out to grab her ankle before she could set herself to push off the floor. "You don't have to go, Kara. I don't have any meetings to attend until tomorrow. It seems my father thought I needed a break."
"Your father's a smart man," Kara agreed. Her nose wrinkled as her hand ran through her hair and came out blue. "Oh gross."
Lee laughed as he picked himself off the ground. "That's one of the perks of being Commander." He pointed to a small door on the side of his quarters. "Bathroom's right there." Lee looked around the room for a moment before nodding. "I think that's about all we're going to get accomplished today so I'm going to hit the showers."
"I'll just make myself useful around the Beast," Kara said as she stood up.
"No, don't go," Lee insisted. "The least I can do is let you take a shower in the private bathroom as a reward for helping me."
"You don't mind me sticking around your quarters?" Kara said. She was surprised. From what she has been told by the pilots, Lee pretty much kept his life outside his job private. Barely anyone had seen his office, let alone his personal quarters. Granted, Kara wasn't just anyone, but she wasn't sure if she had earned this kind of trust.
"Make yourself at home," Lee called over his shoulder, "but please don't ruin anything. I won't be that long."
Kara waited until she heard the water begin to run and then she started exploring. There weren't many personal items around the room, but Kara figured that was only because Lee had never had many belongings. All the other pilots on Galactica and Pegasus had been on active duty. They had possessions that were acquired over years. Lee had only meant to be on Galactica a weekend at most when the Cylons attacked.
Kara walked over to his desk and picked up the first stack of papers. It looked like Lee was trying to map out a new routine for CAPs. "Not bad," she muttered, flipping through the first pages. She picked a random spot to begin and started penciling in the necessary corrections. CAPs were going to be hard when you barely had enough pilots. Keeping them effective would be even more of a challenge. They couldn't afford to relax for a second. The Cylons were going to attack at some point. Figuring out when that might be was the only uncertainty.
Her eyes caught on a piece of paper and Lee's familiar scrawl. Kara had always loved the complexity in how a man so neat in the way he presented himself could be so messy in his handwriting. She wasn't even going to mention the atrocity that was his desk both here and back on Galactica when he had been CAG. She traced the rhythm of the writing with her finger and smiled. She could practically feel his frantic concern about getting his ideas on the settlement down on paper.
"Something interesting?"
Kara set the paper down on the desk quickly and turned to face Lee. "I wasn't snooping," she insisted. Lee looked at her skeptically as he ran a towel through his hair, and it gave Kara a moment to take in the fact that he was standing in front of her half naked. She was just happy the gods gave her a little break and kept the small towels on the shelf. She couldn't take it if there was another infamous towel slipping incident like when that reporter made the morale boosting video on Galactica.
"You can look at whatever you want," Lee said casually as if it was nothing for the Commander of a colonial battlestar to be offering to a Captain. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a handful of clothes. He held them out for Kara to take. "You can put these on once you get the paint off your body."
Kara could feel herself blush as his eyes dropped down to look at what seemed like every inch of her body. She grabbed the clothes and threw a few words of thanks over her shoulder as she ran away from his gaze. The clothes were thrown to the side of the small bathroom, and Kara braced herself up against the counter. She lifted her head to stare at her reflection in the mirror.
"I can do this," she whispered to herself. She repeated it again and again until it sounded almost convincing.
Peeling off her tanks and pants, she threw them into a pile in the corner on top of Lee's blue-stained clothes. She opened the shower stall and stepped in. The water beat down onto her back, and she couldn't help but moan at the pressure. The pilots' showers were nothing like this. Kara swore softly to herself when she realized she had left her bag out in the middle of Lee's office. It looked like she was just going to have to steal some soap from Lee.
Kara hadn't even realized how much it would hurt until the slight sandalwood smell of the soap assaulted her nose. It smelled so much like Lee, and she knew this was probably as close as she would be getting to him.
"I can be happy with this," she insisted. These little moments and encounters were all she was going to have. She had known that when she told the Old Man that she was staying up in space. Lee had chosen to move on with his life, and that meant he had moved away from her. Kara was determined to claw and fight for any second she could get with him, even if it added up to more pain. It had taken her far to long to understand she needed Lee Adama in her life. There was no way she could make that go away.
Rinsing the soap out of her hair, she tried her best to come up with a way to warrant regular visits to Lee and the Pegasus. There wasn't going to be a lot of time now that half the crew was gone. Too much had to be done, but Kara figured the Old Man might take pity on her. She would just have to start cooking up schemes about why she needed to use her off-shifts to get things done on Pegasus.
Kara pulled on the clothes Lee gave her after drying off. She wasn't stupid enough to go out there in a towel like he did. He might have some self-control, but she most certainly did not. If for one moment he looked at her with half the desire she had just felt for him, her towel would be on the floor and she would be throwing herself into his arms. She wasn't sure if he would catch her.
"Better safe than sorrow," Kara said, smoothing the front of the sweatpants as she took a deep breath.
Lee was at his desk working on something when she stepped back into the bedroom. His legs were kicked up on the edge of the desk, but thankfully, he had taken their time apart to get dressed. "All done?" he said, looking up with a smile.
"That place is fraking amazing." Kara walked over and took a seat on his desk. Her knee brushed against his leg, and she let out a sigh. She really had missed this.
"Thanks for helping with the CAP rotations," Lee said, gesturing to the papers in front of him.
"No problem," Kara said. Taking a deep breath, her fingers ran through her wet hair as she tried her best to not focus on the man sitting before her. "You know, I think the Old Man enjoyed dropping me off at your hatch without letting me in on the reason why I was here. It was like he was getting high off my complete surprise."
"He always did like to surprise people," Lee said. He set down his work to focus on her. "He's been doing it for years to Zak and I."
"I wish for once that I could figure out a way to surprise him."
Lee watched Kara for a moment. His father didn't have to tell him that Kara had broken things off with Anders now that the pyramid player had joined the remnants of humanity. Her choosing to stay with the Fleet said it all, though he still couldn't believe she was actually here. "It's not that hard to surprise the Old Man. I mean, only the other day, I left him completely speechless."
Kara's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "No fraking way. How?"
Lee's eyes scanned her face for a moment. If he told her the truth, they would be stepping back over a line he knew they had both sworn to never cross again. Then again, he had done a lot of things he never intended to do since meeting Kara Thrace. "I told him the new XO of my ship was going to be sharing my quarters with me. If that's what she wants, of course."
Kara tensed for a moment as she struggled to maintain control and keep her disappointment to herself. When she realized it was impossible, she turned her eyes away from Lee as her whole face fell.
Lee's feet dropped to the ground as his mind start racing in an effort to figure out what exactly he had done wrong. Kara looked upset. Obviously he had said something he shouldn't have.
Kara looked down at her hands. She really wasn't sure she could meet Lee's eyes for this next part. She had let herself form a little bubble of happiness. Sometimes being with Lee made her forget there were other things going on outside their relationship. At least he had reminded her before she did something stupid like profess her undying love for him. It seemed like that kind of thing was always on the tip of her tongue.
"Right," she said, nodding. She summed up every last bit of courage and looked up at Lee. "So where is Dee, by the way? I would think she'd want input in this painting job we're doing."
"Dee went planetside this morning with the rest of the transfers. She wanted to help President Ros-" Lee caught himself. "-Laura and Billy with the establishment of their school program
"I don't understand. How can Dee be helping out down on New Caprica when she's supposed to be taking on the XO position up here?"
Lee smiled. That was the dense Kara he knew and loved. Of course she would have no idea he was slowly maneuvering her to the exact place she belonged. "You've got it all wrong."
"Do I?" Kara said, giving him an doubtful look.
Lee reached up to brush her hair out of her face, and he couldn't help but let his hand linger on her cheek. This felt right. "You're being transferred, Kara."
"What?"
"Congratulations. You're going to be the XO of the Pegasus."
Kara looked confused at first, but then her eyes went wide as she started putting together the pieces. "You… you were talking about sharing your quarters with me before?"
Lee smirked. "Among other things, yeah, I was hoping you would want to make this place your home. I figured it would make those midnight planning meetings a lot easier." Kara reached her hand up to where he was cradling her face and pinched him hard. "Ow," Lee hissed, jumping back in his chair. "What the frak was that for?"
Kara hopped off the desk. She needed a little distance right now. "I wanted to make sure this was really happening."
"Frak, Kara. You pinch yourself when you think you're dreaming, not someone else."
Kara shrugged. "My way hurts less. Besides, it worked, didn't it?"
Lee glared at her before looking down to where his hand was already starting to bruise. "I knew this was a bad decision when the Old Man suggested it. I told him you and I would kill each other, but did he listen? No! He said he had confidence we would work out our issues." He stopped babbling a moment to look over at her. He suddenly realized what his words must sound like to her. "I want you here, Kara. Don't get me wrong. I'm just afraid that we might end up being the death of each other."
"Bright, shiny futures were never for us," Kara said with a smirk.
"I'd like to fight for one if it isn't too much trouble."
Kara's mouth dropped open. Lee had never been that honest with her before. Yet she still couldn't let herself believe he was saying what she wanted him to say. She had to be sure. "I'm… I'm not sure I get what you're saying to me."
Lee chuckled. He was pretty sure he had spelled it out to her, but if she needed more, than he would give it to her. "We're a special kind of fraked-up, you and me. We're going to drive each other mad, but I'm not sure we can be sane with anyone else. Whatever this is between us, it's the only thing that's made sense in my life for a long, long while."
Kara found she couldn't even look at Lee. She was afraid that even acknowledging what he was saying would point out just how big of a mistake he was making. Kara knew she was no good for Lee. She never had been.
Her hands reached down to play with the hem of the sweatshirt he had given her, and for the first time, she realized what she had on. It was no wonder she felt so completely comfortable. Lee had given her the sweatshirt she stole from him and held hostage for five months.
Kara decided it was a good thing she was the type of woman who believed in signs from the gods. Smiling, she moved to sit in Lee's lap. She could feel his arms tighten around her body to pull her into a hug, and she knew they were both holding on for dear life. "How did we get so fraked up?" she whispered.
"I don't know," Lee sighed. "I just know that I want to fix it."
Kara pulled back in order to look into his eyes. It seemed she had been lost from the start. Putting everything on the line wasn't that big of a stretch now. She bit her lip in a rather obvious display of nerves, but not even that could hold it in any longer. "I love you, Lee. You know that right?"
"I do now," he said, grinning up at her. "I love you, too, Kara."
She leaned in to rest her forehead against his. She had been scared to death he wouldn't say it back. That after all they had been through, she still wasn't going to get to love him. "Are you as scared about this as I am?"
"I'm terrified," Lee said with a smile. "It's great, isn't it?"
"Fraking wonderful."
They kept their eyes locked with one another for what felt like an eternity before Lee finally asked, "So have you thought about my proposition?"
"What proposition?"
"The shared quarters," Lee reminded her. "I went to a lot of trouble to win that fight with my father. It would be a shame if you turned me down."
Kara looked over at the bed and then back at Lee. "Just answer me one question. Have you been sleeping in that bed alone this whole time?"
Lee thought about lying to her and telling her he had never had another woman in that bed. Then he remembered what lies and omissions had done to them in the past. He had faith in Kara. She'd understand. "I've been sleeping alone in that bed since I heard you were staying with the Fleet instead of going down to New Caprica."
Kara pushed herself out of his arms and got to her feet. She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "I don't think I can ask for more than that," she admitted.
Lee sat at his desk and watched as she took her time, sliding the pants he had given her to the floor. She scooted her body back into the middle of the bed. "I could get used to living in this kind of luxury." She let out a happy sigh as she closed her eyes and focused in on the soft sheets.
"Good thing. Because if there's any position you can't back out of on this ship, it's being XO. You're with me for life, Kara."
Her eyes shot open. "Do you really mean that?"
Lee was surprised to realize that he did. He wanted Kara to be his for as long as they were still fighting the good fight. He didn't want to lose her again. "I want you, Kara. I always have, and I always will."
"You love me," she reminded him. "And there are absolutely no take backs."
Lee got to his feet and joined her on the bed. "I wouldn't dream of taking it back."
Kara grabbed the hem of his tanks and pulled them over his head. They landed in a heap by her pants. "Good." Her hands twisted in the chain of his dog tags, and she yanked his body down on top of hers. "Because I love you too much to let you take it back," she whispered.
Lee leaned down to brush a feather light kiss across her lips. The hesitance of the first kiss only lasted a few seconds, and then Kara's nails were clawing at his back in order to pull him closer. Her mouth opened to him, and he felt himself losing control like he always did when she was around.
Lee pulled back to look at her, doing his best to slow this down. He had had the quick, hurried frak, and that wasn't what he wanted anymore.
Still staring at her intently, he slowly pushed up the old cotton material and lowered his mouth to her bare breasts. His tongue teased her nipple as her hands tightened in his hair, drawing his head closer. His lips tightened, sending shivers rolling straight through her body. "I don't think my sweatshirt's looked any better than it does right now," he whispered against her skin.
Kara bit her lip as a wave of guilt passed over her. "I need to confess something, Lee. I took your sweatshirt."
"Actually, I gave it to you," Lee said. He pressed closer to her and let out a small groan. He had missed the feel of her.
"No, I mean I took your sweatshirt when we got back from Caprica and I kept it for months."
Lee let out a small laugh. "Well, I guess it's comforting to know that even if I couldn't touch you, at least my clothing could. I should thank you for returning it." Kara was going to ask what he meant by that, but she didn't have time, seeing as how he was already leaning in to kiss her. She lost herself in the gentle weight laying on top of her.
Lee wrenched his mouth from hers, trailing kisses along her neck, her ear, as his hands explored her firm stomach, the small arch to her waist, the generous curve of her hip. Her skin felt like silk against the calloused hands of a man who had spent years flying a Viper for the colonies.
After a moment, Kara pulled away from his touch. Lee followed the path of her eyes to see she was staring at the small puckering scar from the bullet wound he had sustained a few months earlier. Without a word, Kara traced the pink outline with her fingers and then leaned in to place a tender kiss on the area. Lee knew it was her way of apologizing, and he tilted her chin up so he could kiss her properly. He didn't need nor did he want her apology. There wasn't anything to feel guilty about.
Lee's touch pushed away the pain in her eyes, and a quiet fury came over them as they worked to shed their remaining pieces of clothing. They were both in a hurry and wanting to go slow at the exact same time, which resulted in tanks and undergarments being thrown left and right while they didn't break the connection of their lips.
Lee wished he could take her on a ride like he had the first few times they made love, but he didn't have the strength to hold himself back. As he reached down and found her ready for him, he hoped she'd let him make it up to her later.
"Stop fraking around," Kara hissed against his lips.
Lee wanted to laugh. He should have known she would find a way to yell at him just when he was about to push himself inside of her. She was a special kind of woman.
"Kara," Lee whispered as he pulled away from her eager kisses. He waited until she was looking at him before continuing, "I love you."
He watched her mouth open and knew she was about to say it back, but he couldn't wait. Lifting her knee up, he pushed himself inside of her at just the right angle to make her cry out. "Oh gods," he hissed. He had forgotten what this was like.
Lee heard Kara muttering something softly as he started moving to a gentle rhythm. It took him awhile to realize she was saying I love you. When he did, he lost all semblance of control. Holding her tightly against him, he pulled their bodies up to sit on the mattress, and together they moved towards the point of breaking.
Kara held his lips to hers in a long, searing kiss as her body finally gave in to the pleasure it was feeling. She tightened around Lee, and it wasn't too long before he was releasing himself deep inside of her.
Kara knew this was probably the most happily vulnerable moment of her life, and for the first time, she didn't fight it. Instead she hung on to it, to Lee, as tight as she could while her mind started to catch up with her body.
Lee pulled back a few inches to cradle her face in his hands and whisper a few light kisses across her skin. "Gods, I can't even begin to describe how much I've missed you, Kara."
Kara smiled and moved her mouth the few precious inches it took to be kissing him again. "I missed you, too."
When his pounding heart had finally been calmed by her kisses, Lee withdrew himself from her and pulled her body down to lay against the bed. He still couldn't believe he actually had her in his arms.
"It's a good thing we found New Caprica," Kara muttered, tucking herself into the crook of his arm.
"Why's that?"
"Because otherwise you'd have a lot of work to do and your father would get mad because I would never give you time to do it."
"Is that right?"
"That's right. I mean, gods damn, Lee," she said, chuckling softly. "You and I are never going to leave this fraking bed."
Lee smiled. "There it is then. Bright, shiny future. Mission accomplished."
Kara was about to start arguing with him when she realized he was right. It wasn't the type of thing she fantasized about when she was a little girl, but in its own right, being able to be with Lee here on the Pegasus was her own version of a bright, shiny future. They had really done it. "We're going to be okay, aren't we?" Kara asked.
"We'll make it through," Lee assured her. "The Old Man and I aren't going to rest until we're one hundred percent sure the Fleet is safe on this planet. If the Cylons show up, we'll be ready."
Lee could feel the tension leaving Kara's body as she relaxed against him. "Good. I'm already growing attached to this bright, shiny future. I wouldn't want to see it go to waste."
"Get some sleep," Lee said, brushing a kiss across the top of her head. "You've had a very long day."
Kara was about to agree and let herself drift off to oblivion when something suddenly occurred to her. "We're not done talking about things."
"What's there to say?"
"I want to make something clear about Anders." She felt Lee stiffen at the mention of her ex-fiancé's name, but she wasn't going to chicken out. She had something to say. "I was confused when we were on Caprica, Lee, but when we got back to the Fleet, I knew what my choice was going to be. I was always going to pick you." Her fingers drew lazy circles on his chest as she continued, "I didn't think it was fair to Sam to tell you until I had spoken with him. I had to wait until I got my rescue mission."
"It didn't help that I started seeing Dee."
Kara shook her head. "She was good for you."
"She wasn't you," Lee insisted. "She could never be what I wanted or needed if she wasn't you."
Kara leaned in to kiss him, but it wasn't too long until her lips spread into a large yawn. At that moment, she realized Lee had been right. She had had a long day of doors opening and closing in her life, and it was starting to take a toll. "Do you really think I'm cut out to be your XO?" she asked sleepily.
"No," Lee deadpanned. "It was just the only way I could think of to coax you into my bed."
"I always knew you were a brilliant tactician."
Kara shut her eyes and let out a deep breath. She could feel the heat of Lee's body next to hers. She could hear the soft beating of his heart. She felt the gentle pressure of his arms where he held her tight, and suddenly she could understand it. This was the reason people got up each morning and fought for the right to keep on fighting.
It was so simple that she wondered why she had never realized it before. Smiling, she snuggled in a little closer to the man she loved.
Bright, shiny futures were far from overrated.