It was finally the day of the wedding.
Kakashi had drawn up detailed pictures of Shanan's wedding dress and given them to Hinata awhile ago so that Hinata could make sure that somebody, Kakashi didn't know who made dresses, would make it for her.
Everything was set up perfectly. Shanan had Hinata and Sakura helping her to get ready along with Lady Kurenai. Lee and Neji seemed to go back and forth between the two. And Kakashi had Guy and Naruto and sometimes Sasuke, if Naruto made him help, which wasn't much since they all knew that it was hard for him. He and Kakashi had warmed back up to each other, but Kakashi understood that both Sasuke and Shikamaru would probably be having a pretty bad day.
Speaking of Shikamaru. He had come to Shanan's tent and asked Kurenai if she could clear everyone out so that he could give Shanan his congratulations privately. Kurenai agreed to help him out as long as he promised to behave appropriately and not upset Shanan as she could tell that he was feeling a bit heavy.
"No… I just haven't had the chance, or the courage, to talk to her these last few months. I can't let her think that I'm not happy for her, though. I told her I would be," he said sadly.
"Alright, kiddo. Wait here a minute. I'll clear everyone out. She's already ready, so you won't have long."
Shikamaru nodded and Kurenai disappeared into the tent for a few moments before a few people emerged. Hinata saw him standing casually off to the side waiting for the all clear from Kurenai and approached him.
"Shikamaru… we're good friends, right?" she asked timidly.
He laughed a bit, "Of course we are." They'd only hung out a lot since they were two of Shanan's closest friends.
She laughed shyly at his response and then looked at him sympathetically. "Well, um… I know today won't be easy for you. I'll save your seat for you, ok? I'll even wait over there," she pointed to a spot about 20 feet away from the tent, "for when you come out. Ok? I'm proud of you for being here, though. I know it means everything to Shanan."
Shikamaru frowned, but nodded in appreciation to Hinata before she walked away. Kurenai gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before heading off to her seat.
When he walked in, he was greeted by the most stunning bride he'd ever seen and his longing only grew deeper when he realized that he could have and maybe should have been the one waiting for her.
"You look perfect," he said to her quietly as he fought back tears.
Shanan beamed at him and went to hug him, but as she did he immediately leaned down and kissed her. She hadn't expected him to, so she didn't even think to fight it until he had already pulled away.
In fact, even he hadn't meant to do it. He had never been the most rational person when it came to her, though. She had always made him weak. Even now that she didn't ask him to be, he still couldn't turn his weakness for her off.
"I'm sorry. I… didn't come here to do that," he said apologetically.
"Shikamaru…" She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him so tight. She knew it wasn't fair. She knew he still loved her as much as she loved him. She knew that if it hadn't been for the Kaitei she would probably be marrying him right now instead, but she didn't know how to just let him go and the thought made her sick, even now. "Thank you for being here. I've missed you so much." She couldn't cry and ruin her makeup, even though she wanted to, but he could no longer keep the tears from falling.
He had his arms around her waist as he pulled her hug closer. "I've missed you too. I'm sorry I haven't been around." He leaned back to look her in the eyes. "I thought about running to you after the war. And asking you to pick me. I started walking to your house a few times. But I always turned back. I'd rather not ask than to have you say no, because then it's all over and I'm still not ready."
Shanan didn't know what to say, she wasn't ready either and she felt like the worst kind of person. She put her hand on his cheek and smiled before kissing him on his other cheek.
He leaned his forehead against hers and nodded gently as tears rolled down his face. He knew what she'd meant. He knew that had meant that she still loved him. And his nod meant that he still loved her. But, she was getting married soon and they shouldn't say it.
Shikamaru gave her one last squeeze before making his way to exit the tent. He stopped to wipe his eyes and put his hands in his pockets before looking back at her. "If I have to step away later, just know that I'm still happy for you. I promised I would be and I meant it. I won't stay gone, though." He turned to look outside again. "It's a beautiful day and I'll never forget how breathtaking you look right now," he said before leaving.
As soon as he left, he looked down at the ground and sobbed as quietly as he could and Hinata ran up to him with a tissue at the ready so that she could guide him to his seat.
Shanan sat down and felt sad until Naruto burst in happily, immediately shifting her mood.
"Wait, did something happen?" he asked before she'd had the chance to brighten.
"Shikamaru was here, wasn't he?" Sasuke asked, even though he already knew the answer. He hadn't looked at Shanan yet, but he could sense her unease before he'd even entered the tent.
"Yeah, I'm ok. See?" She smiled really big as she pointed at her face.
Naruto rolled his eyes at her before helping her to stand back up. "Wow. You look really beautiful," he said shakily.
Sasuke finally glanced up at her and immediately looked away again. Today was going to be difficult. She was perfect.
"Are you tearing up, Naruto?" Shanan asked. "Don't do that. You're gonna make me cry!" she said as she covered her face to try and stop the flood of emotions she was feeling.
"Sorry! I just can't believe how grown up you look. You're like an actual woman now," he said innocently.
Sasuke sighed loudly, exasperated at Naruto's obliviousness. "Shut up, dummy. Are you guys ready?" he asked as he stepped forward and made himself look fully at Shanan before taking her hand. "You look radiant." He tried not to sound too affectionate. He had practiced saying it in his head a few times before he spoke.
"Thank you, Sasuke," she said as she blushed a bit. Compliments from Sasuke felt kinda special to her, she didn't think that he gave a lot of them out. "Yeah, I'm ready. Is Kakashi ready?"
"Oh, he's ready. If only he'd leave that tie alone…" Naruto said as he looked out of the tent.
Sasuke looked quickly at Naruto. "He's not taking it off again, is he?" he asked impatiently.
"Yeah, he is. Oh, now he's leaning down so Guy Sensei can tie it for him."
Shanan laughed at how, even though they had first been married what felt like seven years ago to them, he was still the same as the first time and just as nervous.
Naruto came back in and stood on Shanan's right side, and Sasuke stood on her left side. She linked arms with them and they walked with her.
Kakashi looked at her as though he'd never seen her in her dress before or ever even been married to her. Once they had made it to the altar Naruto let go of her arm and kissed her cheek and then turned to bow slightly to Kakashi. And then it was Sasuke's turn. He let go of her, reluctantly, and kissed her cheek, softly, and then turned and gave Kakashi a stiff nod before Naruto tugged his sleeve to come and sit by him.
Directly after the ceremony Sasuke had to step away for a while. He hoped that Shanan wouldn't notice, but he would make up some kind of excuse if she did. Luckily, he saw Shikamaru sitting under a tree all alone and figured they could both be sad together, even if they kind of hated one another.
Shikamaru didn't protest this particular company, even if he wasn't a fan of the guy, they shared a weird bond now. He offered Sasuke his drink and when he took it he lit up a cigarette. They sat in silence and took turns drinking from Shikamaru's canteen, which wasn't full of water, until it was empty and Shikamaru stood up.
"Well, I think that's enough bravery for the both of us. We should get in there," he said as he held his hand out.
Sasuke had never drank before, so his head was really spinning as he looked up at Shikamaru.
"Oh man, don't worry. I gotcha," he said as he leaned down and helped him up with more strength than he had planned on using. "Sorry, I forgot you were off not having any fun. I'll watch your back tonight."
He couldn't help but laugh as he helped Sasuke over to the tables where everyone had already finished eating. He informed Naruto, Neji and Lee of Sasuke's drunkenness and they all spent the evening hanging out and both Shikamaru and Sasuke felt a lot less sad than they had before they'd sat together.