"I am sorry, what?! Care to run that past us again?"
Erin hated how tight and high her voice sounded at Aaron's words, but from the way that Jessica was holding on to her hand for dear life, she knew that the younger woman was feeling the exact same way. Aaron took a deep breath as he clasped his hands in his lap, clearly trying to gather his thoughts about what he had just told them. David reached out to pat her shoulder in the silence, and Erin shrugged it off as she fixed a sharp look on Aaron. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak once more. "The reason why I am so late this evening is I was in a meeting with the Director. I leave for Afghanistan on Tuesday, because he felt like I needed one last weekend with my family before I was away for the next six months."
"And that leaves Alpha with just five members. Did he think about that before he just randomly decided to send you into a dangerous field job? And what about Jack? If you get hurt, or God forbid, killed, that will leave him an orphan! Why wasn't I read into this situation?"
She knew that she was being unreasonable, but all she could think about was how things would affect Jack and Elise, if Aaron shouldn't come home. She blinked back hot, bitter, tears and squeezed Jessica's hand a few times. "Erin, you have to know how it feels to be maneuvered into a place where you can't make a decision. You should cut him some slack."
Her head quickly snapped around to look at her fiancé, glaring at him for a few brief seconds before feeling like she was going to smack his face far harder than she had any right to. Rather than act on that impulse, she rose to her feet as she let go of Jessica's hand and stalked over to the liquor cabinet. "I am pouring myself a large glass of gin. Does anyone else want anything?"
"I'll take a gin, too, Erin," Jessica replied. "And I suppose that means I'll be spending the night here, since gin gets me tight very quickly."
"The guest room is always open to you, Jess," Erin replied as she poured the drinks for them. "Aaron, David, would you care for anything?"
"I'd like for you to allow yourself to react the way that you want to, Erin. When you bottle up your feelings, bad things happen."
She turned and looked at David, feeling her lower lip wobble. Shaking her head, Erin licked her lips nervously before replying. "I can't do that, darling. I've cried far too much in the last two years to allow myself to give over to histrionics every time I receive bad news." Bringing the glasses back to the sofa, she handed Jessica her glass before making her way over to the window and staring outside at the gathering twilight as she fought to gain control over her emotions. Behind her, she could hear the sound of people moving, and she wondered what was going on, but didn't turn around as she sipped at her gin.
Soon enough, she felt someone come up behind her, and she leaned backwards, expecting it to be her David, since he probably wanted her to talk without the others present, knowing that she was uncomfortable with letting herself go, even in front of trusted friends like Jessica and Aaron. The moment the back of her head touched a broad chest, she knew that she was wrong, and that it was Aaron who had joined her at the window. "I don't want to go either. And I know that it's not expected of men, especially men in my position, to be terrified, but I am. I don't want to leave Jack and Elise without a father. I don't want you all to grieve me, even if Roy would be happy if I did die, since he still thinks that I got Haley killed. And I need you to be strong for Jessica and the children, which I know is the completely wrong thing to ask of you, because you deserve to be frightened and concerned for me, just like the others."
His arms closed around her waist, and Erin set her glass on the window sill as she turned around to face him, glancing up into his face to see that he was crying. He hadn't cried in front of her since the afternoon they had discussed their retirement offer, and that was the thing that broke the dam holding back her tears. Letting out a choked sob, she buried her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist as she clung to him. "And I don't want to be strong in this case. I'll try, for you and the children, and Jess, but it is going to be a long, hard, six months. Will you even be able to call home?" she asked brokenly, welcoming the way he swept his hand up and down her back in order to try and comfort her.
"There will be times I can contact you, yes, and I am going to try and be home for Christmas. It depends on how long the op lasts."
"Okay." She let out a long, shaky, breath as Aaron kissed the top of her head lightly. "Stay with us. If this is your last weekend home for six months, we should be together as a family. Don't you agree?"
"I do, which is why I brought my go bag home with me. That way I have clean clothes for the weekend. We'll go to Elise's lesson, and then Jack's game, and then see a movie, whatever the kids want to see. Will the older children be able to join us?"
"I will, Uncle Aaron."
Erin pulled away from his embrace to see that Tabitha had joined them in the study, a concerned look on her face. "Baby, why are you home? I thought that you had to work until close?"
"There was a literal dumpster fire, and they closed the store early, so I was able to come home. Now, why is Mama crying, and where are you going for six months?"
Aaron beckoned her daughter over to their sides, and Tabitha hurried over, fitting herself in next to them as she slung an arm around Erin's waist and rested her head on her shoulder. "I have been assigned to an army unit in Afghanistan, working with hostage negotiations. I've always been good at that, something that comes from my background as a prosecutor. I tried to suggest one of the people I trained for this role, but the army wants the best, and I am it. I need you to be strong for your mom, Peanut. Because I've asked something very hard of her, and that's for her to be strong for Jessica and your little sister."
"And Jack, right? Their half-siblings, so it would affect them the same if you were to be injured over there." He nodded, and Erin squeezed Tabitha's waist tightly as she tried to keep from crying once more. "I don't always get adults, but I do understand trying to stay strong for others. Mama's always been good at that. But you are going to call, right? At least once a week?"
"We'll have to see about that. It depends on where I am. But I will keep in contact as best I can, yes." Tabitha gave them a small smile as she nodded, turning in to Erin as she took a deep breath. "Now, I think that your mother would like to finish her gin before heading upstairs to check in on Cat and Leelee."
"They're all sleeping together in Elise's bed. Jack is so adorable, he's curled up around Cathy like he's protecting her already. You raised a good kid there, Hotchner." Before either of them could react to that, Tabitha had kissed both their cheeks before leaving the room, and Erin shook her head a little, somehow knowing that though the next six months would be difficult, they would make it through together.