Chapter Five: Nausea

Draco Malfoy awoke abruptly by the screams and cries of the filthy mudblood in her bedchamber just a room away. "What's her problem?" He began to wonder, as he glanced at the Slytherin clock on the bedside table next to him. "Ugh, filthy little mudblood needs to sound proof her room the next time she plans on screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night."

Malfoy sat up, knowing that now he was awake, he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. The sun was hardly beginning to rise, and it was still pitch black in his deep green bedroom, but unfortunately for him, once awake it was difficult to get back to sleep, no matter how dark it may be.

While stretching, Draco decided that he might as well take a shower, and begin preparing for classes. He really had nothing better to do at 5:30 in the morning.

After discarding of his silk green boxers (boxers being the only thing that he had worn to bed the previous night) Draco turned the shower tap on, and picked up the bar of green soap and a gray cloth and had just begun to wash himself, when he heard the door open.

After trying as best she could to calm herself down, Hermione entered the large marble bathroom which consisted of a large white bath tub, a long row of counters with beautiful sinks inserted in them, and a lovely mirror placed above them. Unfortunately though, Hermione could not take a shower as she had so planned, because someone was already occupying it.

"What are you doing in here mudblood?" Hermione heard Malfoy snarl from the other side of the fogged glass, which surrounded the shower.

"I WAS planning on taking a shower," Hermione began impatiently, definitely not being in the mood to put up with Malfoy this morning, "but I see that is not going to happen."

Hermione had turned of her heal and began to walk away when she heard Malfoy's voice again, only this time sounding more seductive and inviting saying, "No one's stopping you Granger."

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. Did he just say what she thought he said? Was he actually INVITING her to take a shower with him?

Before Hermione had been given a chance to respond to Malfoy, she heard the shower stop running, and turned only to see Malfoy come out of the shower dripping wet, with only a green towel wrapped around him.

Hermione tried her best not to stare. She really did. But the way that he looked just amazed her. Malfoy no longer had a boyish figure, he had grown to be about 6'1, and had tone abs and quite muscular arms. Not so much that it would scare you, but strong enough that you know if he wanted to hurt you, he could. Easily.

Hermione would have continued to stare too. At his wet white blonde hair, which was dangling in his eyes, those eyes…storm gray. Such a beautiful colour which only Draco Malfoy could pull off.

Unfortunately though, Hermione's gaze was quickly diverted to a nearby painting, when she heard Malfoy say, "If you would like to continue to gawk at me mudblood, it'll cost you. I prefer to allow only pureblood eyes on me."

"Why did he have to be such an ignorant, cocky, rude, spoiled, prat?" Hermione wondered inwardly, while turning back towards her room saying, "Watch what you say Malfoy because I could easily curse you into the next oblivion."

At this Malfoy chuckled mildly. "You may be book smart Granger," he said cockily, "But you'll never be faster to draw a wand than me."

Hermione turned with her wand at the ready pointed at Malfoy, planning to surprise him, only to be shocked herself when she saw that he was smirking evilly, with his wand already pointed directly at her heart.

"Watch your step mudblood," was the last thing that Hermione had heard before she had stomped out of the bathroom back into her room. Apparently she would just have to wait before taking a shower, which actually angered her seeing as she was still drenched in a cold sweat from the nightmare she had just had.

Draco smirked to himself in the bathroom mirror. He knew that he looked good. Bloody hell, he knew he looked damn sexy, but the face on the mudblood's face had been PRICELESS.

As soon as she saw that he had only a towel wrapped around his waist to cover himself, her face immediately turned beat red, and it appeared that she didn't even notice. She had just continued to stare at him, seemingly mesmerized by his complete body. Or at least, everything that had been showing.

Draco continued to smirk cockily, all through changing into his school robes, and completing the rest of his preparations for school.

Hermione could not believe herself. "How could I have stared at him like that?" She continuously asked herself. "GREAT! Now the stupid git is gonna think that I like him knowing how full of himself he is…" yet this fact, only seemed to make Hermione laugh, completely unsure why, but she did.

After mindless hours of reading, Hermione still couldn't shake the embarrassment she still felt. She desperately needed to shower, but was scared that Malfoy might not have yet left the bathroom. After all, at quarter after six, he had heard one of the sinks running, and if he had already been in there for about 45 minutes, than who knows how much longer he would make her wait!

Finally, Hermione grew much too impatient, and went to the door that attached her room to the bathroom, and rapped on it loudly.

"Malfoy, are you still in there?" She asked, waiting for a response.

She heard nothing coming from inside, and decided to knock again, just in case. "Malfoy! Are you still in there?" After glancing at the clock, which read 6:38, Hermione decided enough was enough, and entered the bathroom, preparing for the worst.

Luckily for Hermione, she wouldn't have to endure any more shock or embarrassment at the moment. Malfoy was nowhere to be seen in the bathroom. Hermione quickly locked both of the doors leading into the bathroom, just in case Malfoy were to try and enter, he would find it was occupied.

As Hermione stepped under the hot water the shower provided, Hermione appreciated the fact that she had the bathroom to herself this year, well, except for having to share it with Malfoy, but it was much better than having to share it with a bunch of giddy teenage girls, who would see her scars.

Looking down at her left arm, Hermione began to cry. She began to think of all of the horrible things that had been happening in her life, just in the past 4 or 5 months. Ever since she began to go out with Harry.

Why did he choose to treat her so poorly, when she was nothing but good to him? Why did he try to rape her, countless times, and force her into doing things that he knew she did not want to do? She did not know.

Hermione was so confused as to what was going on in her life. She was going to have to go around and pretend that everything was okay, when really, it wasn't. She was going to have to wear a mask, and sit in between the two boys she had grown to love, and now, to hate.

After taking quite a bit longer than usual, Hermione had finally prepared for her classes, and arrived in the great hall just in time for a late breakfast with Harry, Ron, Neville and Seamus.

"Hi you guys," Hermione said out of breath from running to the great hall, and grabbed a piece of toast hastily.

"What's wrong with you, Hermione?" Ron asked, concerned.

All of the boys she was seated around had been looking at her, quite fearfully, for she had puffy eyes, which were bloodshot, but still managed to have heavy purple bags under them.

"Don't look so alarmed!" Hermione said forcing a laugh upon her, "I just could NOT get to sleep last night. I was up all night reading a muggle book that you have probably never heard of. It was so sad it kept me up until 4:30 in the morning reading it, and bawling my eyes out. It was terrible!"

"Go figure Hermione would be up all night, the first day being back at Hogwarts, only to be reading a muggle book," Ron said, laughing at how worked up she must've gotten over this book.

"Merlin Hermione, you had us all so worried!"

Soon they all began laughing, and Harry was the only one to think that something much deeper was wrong. "Had she been dreaming about me?… Surely she hadn't, otherwise she wouldn't be crying, with such bloodshot eyes…right?" Harry was unsure.

The day's classes had dragged on slowly for Hermione, and all day, she had been quite sure that she would once again just burst into tears.

Being seated next to Harry in 75 of her classes all day was quite unbearable! She couldn't believe how he just acted as though nothing was wrong, and he was a loving friend, and boyfriend. How could Ron be so absolutely CLUELESS that everything was so terribly wrong between her and Harry? The thought of him being so utterly moronic killed her.

They were supposed to be friends, yet he couldn't see how someone so close to them both, was continuously hurting her.

It was during Professor Binn's History of Magic lesson that Hermione began to do some serious thinking. Not just about Ron being so thick headed, but Harry. How could he continue to hurt her so badly? She tried to think of why he had begun to cause her so much pain, yet all she could think of was that she did not give him what he wanted. That was not the Harry that she had grown to love!

Since when was Harry Potter so sex-driven, that he would beat and abuse a girl, if she did not give him what he craved? It tore Hermione apart completely, and she began to get so confused that her head whirled about, and nausea crept over her slowly.

"Harry, why are you doing this to me?" Hermione had asked, one of the many times that Harry had been beating her.

"I need you Hermione," Is how he had answered.

But what was that supposed to mean! Hermione did not know. He couldn't possibly need HER so bad, that he would beat her, trying to convince her to have sex with him, to give her entire body to him. Yet he hadn't raped her.

If he wanted and needed her so bad, and would beat her in an attempt to make her sleep with him, than why hadn't he just taken her right there and than, on so many different occasions he had been given the opportunity.

Professor Binn's finally wrapped up the class, causing Hermione to hurry out of the room, and into the closest girl's lavatory, where she began crying, and vomiting so hard, that she could not tell which way was up, and which was down. Merlin was she lucky that she had just finished her last class. She could not possibly go through another class, trying to copy down notes and complete assignments, while she was feeling this sick.

Finally, after about a good half an hour of wrenching and writhing in pain inside of a stall, Hermione felt that she just might be stable enough to go back to her head dorms and hopefully get a nap, before she had to begin her Potion's assignment.

Draco had been lounging carelessly on the sofa before the fire in his Head common room, and had just opened up his Potions book, preparing to read on how to properly make a Sleeping Draught, which he found to be quite simple, when he heard the portrait swing open, and turned his head slightly to see Granger walk in with her arms cradling her own stomach, puffy red eyes which were hardly being held open, and extremely frizzy curly hair, some of which being plastered to her sweaty, ill looking face.

Malfoy couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her. Not that he cared; he could never care for a mudblood, or another person other than himself for that matter.

He laughed outwardly at the thought of any Malfoy caring for someone other than themselves, it was quite funny actually, when he heard the mudblood choke out, "You think this is funny do you? Think it's funny seeing a muggle born completely sick to her stomach, with puffy eyes because she had been crying so hard?"

Hermione couldn't help herself from bursting out. No one had bothered to look for her after History of Magic, which was bad enough, and now she had Ferret boy laughing at the looks of her. How was she going to be able to live with THIS for an entire school year?

Malfoy had just raised an eyebrow to her. No smirk, no comment, no questions or anything at all. Just a raised eyebrow, and unsteadily, Hermione walked up her staircase, and into her bedroom where she fell seemingly lifeless onto her bed.

From the inside of her pillowcase, Hermione pulled out a thin razor, and after locking both her bedroom door, and the one leading to the bathroom with a flick of her wand, Hermione began to slowly, yet surely drag the razor across her already scared wrist.

"I might as well end my life now, while no one realizes that I'm even missing," Hermione told herself while continuously drawing thick lines across her wrists. No longer did Hermione feel pain as the razor sliced her skin, she only felt relief. This was the one way that she could calm herself down after being hurt so bad, yet on this day, Hermione had yet to be bruised or bloodied by either of her parents, or The Boy Who Lived.

"They'll miss me when I'm gone…" Hermione thought, but than, corrected herself sternly, "No they won't Hermione. They don't care about you. If they did than someone would take notice to how you were constantly lying to all of them about your whereabouts, and the blood shot eyes. Someone would care.

"No one cares…no one……no…. one…"

Than, her world was black.

Wow...it pained me to write this chapter. It really did. I had been having a serious writer's block, but than I just sat down at my computer and began typing, and this is what I came up with. If you don't enjoy this chapter, than I am not going to apologize, because I think I do...and yeah...I'll try to update before Wednesday.
Love always,
Carly Jayne.