Chapter 26: Bible Parable Parodies
Barry whistled merrily, a bag of popcorn in his hands as he watched the fireworks.
"Why are you eating popcorn?" Caitlin asked as Cisco continued to argue with the imprisoned Hartley Rathaway.
Barry shrugged. "Don't you eat popcorn when watching good entertainment?" he asked back. He then gestured to the bickering duo. "You didn't tell me those two had so much sexual tension between them."
Cisco and Hartley, having evidently heard his statement, paused in their bickering to glare at him. Caitlin inched away from Barry as much as she could without being conspicuous about it, while Harrison hid his smile behind his hand.
"Cisco and me? Never." Hartley seethed.
Cisco nodded. "Yeah, man. Even if I were gay, I wouldn't be gay for him." He jabbed his thumb towards Hartley.
Harrison couldn't help himself. He let out a tiny laugh, which he disguised as a cough. No one was fooled, however, and Cisco and Hartley immediately turned their ire towards him. Harrison, however, being who he is, was completely unintimidated. "Congratulations, Barry. You've managed to do the impossible once again, and got these two get agree for the first time ever. Something I sorely wished I'd known how to do when we were building the Particle Accelerator."
Hartley snorted, catching everyone's attention. "As if you cared whether or not the Accelerator was built correctly, Harrison."
Caitlin blinked, then narrowed her eyes. "What does he mean by that, Dr. Wells?"
Barry took another bite of his popcorn. "Oh, that's easy. Dr. Wells knew there was a possibility that the Particle Accelerator would explode."
Silence.
"…What?" Barry asked confusedly when he noticed everyone staring at him.
"And how did you figure that out… Barry, was it?" Hartley demanded, slightly angered that someone managed to spill Harrison's secret before he could.
Barry shrugged once more. "I got bored one day so I started looking through the data logs. Plus, it's not much of a leap to guess."
Hartley hummed. "Like it's not much of a leap to guess that you're the Streak."
Caitlin and Cisco, who had been glaring at Harrison after Barry's revelation, immediately stopped and stared at Hartley in horror, while Harrison turned his head sharply towards him and pursed his lips. Barry, however, was oddly calm that someone had managed to figure out his secret identity.
"Quite the arrogant one, aren't you?" the self-proclaimed Pied Piper mocked in French.
"Not as arrogant as you, Rathaway." Barry insulted back, also in French. Everyone blinked, not expecting Barry to understand that. "Oh, surprised? You're not the only one here who's multilingual, you know." he finished off in Mandarin, shocking everyone even more.
"Show-off." Hartley muttered as he backed down. Cisco, having heard him, rolled his eyes at the hypocrisy.
"Oh, that's not showing off. Me showing off is me demanding you take out your little hearing aids because they can double as sonic devices that can blow that glass door wide open." Barry stated cheerily, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it into his mouth.
Hartley's jaw dropped. The S.T.A.R. Labs trio, their conflict temporarily forgotten, turned back to the Rathaway and glowered expectantly at him. Realizing that his plan had already been foiled before it began, Hartley held up his hands in a defensive gesture.
"Wait a moment, everyone. Before you do anything, wouldn't you like to know where Ronnie is?" he pleaded desperately. They were, to his surprise, completely unmoved.
"Ronnie is currently with Professor Martin Stein and a colleague of his learning how to control the F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M. matrix." Barry informed him, reaching into his bag of popcorn once more, only to blink when he realized all of it was gone. Noting how the other three were closing in on the cell, and therefore, the nervous Hartley, Barry shrugged absentmindedly and left, ignoring the Pied Piper's groans of pain.
"He got away again." Eddie growled, slamming his fist down on his desk. Iris, who was eating lunch with him there, sighed.
Eddie, of course, was referring to the incident at Rathaway Industries earlier that day, where a metahuman had started attacking the building with what the CSIs claimed were 'sonic blasts.' The evidence at the crime scene matched the damage done to Harrison Wells' house the previous night, where the shattered glass lacked an impact point. Before the police, specifically the Anti-Metahuman Task Force (or the Anti-Streak Task Force, as Eddie preferred to call it), could get into position and capture them using their new upgrades, the Streak had appeared and easily apprehended the metahuman, before running off to God knows where. When they finally arrived at the scene and were informed what they missed, it took all of Eddie's self-control not to throw a fit.
"Clearly, we need to work on our reaction time. I'll need to stage some drills, perhaps ask everyone to stay back tonight. We also need to determine the Streak's base of operations – he has to be putting all those metas somewhere…" the detective continued to ramble to himself, ignorant of Iris' growing irritation.
"Eddie…"
"Perhaps an abandoned warehouse…no, someone would've caught on to that eventually…"
"Eddie…"
"Maybe it's outside of city limits! No, that doesn't make sense…as fast as the Streak is, even he would find that inconvenient…"
"Eddie!" Iris whisper-shouted, slapping her hand down firmly on the desk for good measure. Eddie finally snapped out of his borderline trance, staring confusingly at his girlfriend.
"Yes, Iris?"
Iris sighed. "Eddie, I can't do this anymore."
"What do you mean?" Eddie sat up straighter, all thoughts of the vigilante having abruptly left his mind.
"Eddie, we haven't gone on a date in weeks. And our last date was dominated by you ranting about the Streak, how you're going to catch the Streak, etc. In fact, ever since the Streak proved he existed, we've been spending less and less time together in general. If you're always going to put the Streak first, then I don't think I can continue this relationship." Iris explained, genuinely unhappy.
Eddie stared disbelievingly at her. He would've brought up how much time she spent with Barry, except that had gradually diminished within a month, and only accelerated when he had gotten his job at S.T.A.R. Labs. They generally only had their not-dates twice a week at most these days. Looking back, Iris had actually spent more time trying to get Eddie to do something fun than hanging out with Barry, for the last two months.
"Iris…"
Iris stood up, and collected her things, waste included. "I'm sorry, Eddie."
"Why didn't you two tell me!" Malcolm demanded, glaring heatedly at both Robert and Moira, who, for once, refused to back down and glared back. "If I had known he was my son –"
"It would have changed nothing. You care more about yourself and your plans than you do your own children, Malcolm, your abandonment of Tommy proved that." Robert coldly stated, cutting him off. "You would've held his death over us, held Thea against us, just like you have for the last ten years – the only difference is that you might've held a twinge of regret over it."
Malcolm gritted his teeth. "Robert, I always regretted Oliver's death. It broke my heart when I found out he was on the boat and not you, and using him against you and Moira was never my intention."
"No, you were going to kill Robert and then hold both Oliver and Thea against me, and call it a 'necessary evil,' like you did when you threatened us with Thea after Oliver's death. Forgive us if we don't believe the complete bullshit you're spewing out of your mouth, Malcolm." Moira retorted, her anger superseding the manners ingrained into her being since she first married Robert.
Malcolm glowered at them. "Regardless, you should've told me – and, you should've told Oliver. And now that I know, I demand that he know as well."
The Queens exchanged looks and nods, before calmly stating "No." in unison.
"Excuse me?" Malcolm nearly shouted, not used to having his authority subverted like that.
Robert, refusing to be cowed, glared back. "You heard us: no. We will not tell Oliver, and you will not tell Oliver. Nobody will be telling Oliver the truth – ever."
"And why is that?"
"Because if you tell Oliver, we will go up to the entire world and reveal your plans. And before you think you can kill or kidnap us, just so you can have Oliver to yourself, let it be known that we have set up a dead switch, and if we aren't there to restart it every day, it will release everything we know about the Undertaking to every news station in the country." Moira bluffed. In reality, there was no such dead switch, but with the Hood's interference and Malcolm's shaken state as a result of that, she was confident he wouldn't see through her lie. Even if he suspected as such, he wouldn't dare risk it.
Malcolm scowled deeply. "You're going through an awful lot of trouble to keep a father from his son."
"He isn't your son, Malcolm. You lost your right to consider him as such when you sabotaged the Gambit." Robert finished definitively. Taking his wife's hand, they left Malcolm's office, heads held high. Malcolm watched them go, then collapsed back into his chair and sighed.
From her corner in the restaurant called 'The Palm,' according to her file of Starling City, Astra watched Kara intently. She had disguised herself heavily, tying her hair back and wearing a headscarf and a large pair of sunglasses to hide her face, especially the distinctive streak of white hair that would surely clue Kara in her identity. All lead-lined, of course, just in case Kara was a little liberal with her powers in public.
Her niece was sitting far from her, but not far enough that Astra couldn't catch sight of her – or hear in on her conversation. She was conversing with another woman at the table, named 'Sam.' Most likely, Samantha Arias from the Christmas party. According to previous observations of Kara and Kal-El, she was the mother of Kal-El's best friend, a Ruby Arias, and a fast friend of Kara as a result.
They were speaking about a "birthday party" for Ruby. She surmised it was a celebration about the anniversary of Ruby's birth – a common fad here on this planet. Astra internally snorted. Such frivolous events were never undertaken on Krypton. Besides being a general waste of resources, birth was hardly something that needed to be celebrated more than once, especially when no work was undertaken by the parents themselves. The dates themselves were hardly distinctive for one child, anyway – the advent of genetic engineering meant that the children of Krypton were born in specifically chosen dates in staggered intervals.
But, regardless of that, Astra took heart in hearing her niece's laughter, hearing her talk about such pointless festivities. It was reminder of what she was fighting for, about the person she knew Kara was at her core. She knew the Commander hadn't lied to her. She knew that Kara had taken life of several of her soldiers. Astra just couldn't see it though. This was Kara, a daughter of the House of El, Alura's daughter. Astra knew her niece, and knew in her heart that nothing could make her a killer. Astra knew it was irrational to think such thoughts, but Kara, Kara…
…was staring right at her.
"Finished with invitations already?"
Sam grinned. "We worked on them all weekend. And," she rummaged through her bag, taking out an envelope and handing it to Kara, "Ruby insisted that you and Kal-El get the first one."
Kara smiled widely. "We're honored. Don't be surprised if it ends up framed or scrapbooked."
"No judgement. It's his first ever birthday party, and his first ever birthday invitation. Now, I just need to complete the rest of the party preparations by next Saturday." Sam's grin gradually faded with each word.
"Work." Kara guessed immediately, taking a sip of her iced tea.
"Work." Sam sighed, breaking off a piece of one of the breadsticks and dipping it into the olive oil.
Kara leaned back into her chair. "I could help you." she suggested.
Sam blinked and then shook her head rapidly. "You don't have to do that."
Kara waved her off. "I have no job, remember?" She reminded Sam. "The mall is slow-going right now, and I have a lot of free time on my hands. You wouldn't be imposing at all."
"Kara…"
"Look, if it makes you feel better, you can owe me one. Just let me help you, Sam."
Sam exhaled. "You're not going to stop asking until I say yes, aren't you?"
"Nope." Kara smirked.
"Fine." Sam finally relented, before placing her hand over her friend's. "You're the best, Kara."
Kara flushed slightly. "I aim to please." She was about to say more, before her sharp eyes caught something. A woman, covered from head-to-toe so one couldn't spot a single distinguishing feature about her appearance, was staring right at her. Kara stared back at the obvious spy, and something in her gut told her that she knew this woman from somewhere.
"Kara?"
Kara broke out of her staring contest with the woman and looked back at the concerned Sam. "Sorry, sorry. I just…I just thought I saw someone familiar for a second."
Sam searched her face before accepting the excuse. "Alright then. So, about the party…"
Kara listened to her friend intently, and when she got the chance, she turned back to look at the mysterious woman, but she was gone.
I'm almost back to full health everybody! Hopefully that means more frequent updates again.
As for HVFF – no comment, which is what Stephen Amell should have said than so blatantly lying to everybody. Olicity was only endgame from Season 3 onwards, not from the beginning. Felicity wasn't even originally supposed to be a part of the cast – she was a special guest character that got popular enough with both the fans and the actual cast to be promoted to series regular. The Oliciters will ignore this, obviously, but us fans who bothered to do the research know the truth. I know they want to wade through this anti-Olicity wave of publicity, but lying about it isn't the way to do it. You're only going to lose viewers that way. They've already lost me, that's for sure – I'm not even going to DVR Arrow anymore, let alone watch it live.
Anyway, now that my mini-rant is done with (and you're free to disagree if you want, just know that if you flame me, your comment/review will be deleted/reported with no regret or hesitation), next chapter is a very important chapter. We're back to the action everybody, and a lot of revelations abound. Oh, and somebody is going to die. I won't say who, though.
As for Eddie and Iris, they haven't permanently broken up yet. That won't happen for a long time, that much I can tell you. Never fret, though, WestAllen fans that are reading this – it will happen eventually.