A/N: How this story went from ridiculous fluff to angst is beyond me, but here we are. Another chapter, and it's full of angst. As are the next few. In any case, usual disclaimer. Additional explanation as to the time-line at the bottom. Enjoy!
"High enough for you to pull me under
Something's growing
Out of this that we can't control"
Greg frowned. "No you're not," he said, eyes searching Ryan's. "You're not fine. You're worried about something and I can see it." He paused, then said, "Ryan, tell me what's wrong, please. I want to help."
Adamant, Ryan shook his head. "I don't want to…to tie you down with my problems," he muttered, not meeting Greg's eyes.
Greg looked surprised and a little hurt. "What do you mean, you don't want to tie me down?" he asked, trying not to sound as hurt as he was. "I thought we were in a relationship, and I thought that meant that we told each other everything. I guess I was wrong."
Ryan looked up, pleadingly. "Greg, no, it's not like that. It's just that…" He sighed and shook his head. "Never mind," he said quietly, not looking at Greg again. "It's not a big deal."
"Damnit, Ryan, it is a big deal!" said Greg angrily. "If it's bugging you so much, then it's a big deal to you and hence a big deal to me!" He stood up and brushed the sand off his legs.
"It may be something to me," said Ryan, starting to get angry as well, "but that doesn't mean that you have to take it upon yourself to try and make it right. It's my problem, not yours, so you can butt out of my business any time you want."
Greg froze. He swallowed hard. "You want me out of your business?" he asked hollowly, not looking at Ryan. Slowly, he nodded as if in realization. "Fine, then, I'll go." He turned and met Ryan's eyes, tears welling in his own. "If I mean that little to you that you can't even tell me what's going on in your life, then I'm gone."
"Greg, wait—" started Ryan, but Greg cut him off.
"No, you wait, Ryan." He paused and ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to. He sighed. "I thought we were in a relationship, and I was under the assumption that in a relationship, you share things that are happening to you. I thought that this relationship meant something to you. Hell, I thought I meant something to you." He paused again, and when he spoke next, his voice was thick with tears. "I guess I was wrong."
"No, you're not wrong," said Ryan quietly, standing up and walking over to him. "You're not wrong. You do mean something to me, something more than I can ever explain to anyone."
"Then why won't you tell me what's going on?" asked Greg, looking at him.
Ryan sighed. "Because I'm scared," he whispered. "I'm scared of making you run away, scared of the repercussions of what I might say."
Greg took Ryan's hand. "You can tell me anything," he promised quietly, looking Ryan straight in the eye. "I promise I won't run away. I'm committed to this, committed to you. Possibly more committed to this than anything I've ever been committed to before."
"You are?" breathed Ryan, looking up at him incredulously. "Really?"
"Yeah," said Greg, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I am. And I want this more than I think I have wanted anything in my life." He paused and looked at Ryan. "But if we're going to make this work, we have to be able to tell each other everything."
"I don't want to tie you down," blurted Ryan, blushing and averting his eyes.
Greg rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, telling me your problems isn't tying me down."
"No, not like that," said Ryan, shaking his head. "I mean, I don't want to tie you down permanently. I don't want to put you in a cage for the rest of your life."
Greg smiled sadly. "Ryan, I doubt there's a cage big enough that could hold me yet." He sighed and turned away. "And now we're reaching the realm of something I'm afraid of." He paused. "I'm afraid of saying good-bye."
"Good-bye?" whispered Ryan, looking at him.
"Yeah," affirmed Greg. He swallowed hard. "Tomorrow's the last day of the conference, and then after that, we have to go our separate ways and say good-bye."
"We don't have to, whispered Ryan. "We don't have to say good-bye or go our separate ways. I could come with you back to Vegas, or you could come with me to Miami, and—"
"And do what?" asked Greg quietly. "I don't have a job in Miami. I don't friends in Miami. My entire life is in Vegas. My parents live in California. I'm a West Coast boy."
"Then I could come to Vegas," offered Ryan.
Greg gave him a look. "Right, and then you won't have a job, or friends, or family." He sighed. "Either way we try to do this, one of us ends up losing."
"But we'd have each other," protested Ryan softly.
Greg nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah we would, and God knows that I don't know what I'd do without you, but I can't just move cross-country, and neither can you."
"Then it's hopeless," whispered Ryan despairingly, eyes welling with tears. "You and I will be forced to spend the rest of our lives apart, and miserable."
"It's never hopeless," whispered Greg, reaching out and brushing Ryan's tears off. "Never think that it's hopeless. I don't know what the future holds, but I know you're in it somewhere, whether in just my thoughts or in my heart, but you're still there." He paused, then whispered, "I love you."
"What?" said Ryan, unable to believe it.
"I love you," repeated Greg, more surely. "I love you now, I will love you forever, and though I can't tell you where forever will take me, I will still love you."
"I…I…don't know what to say," stammered Ryan.
"Well, you could start with 'I love you, too'" suggested Greg, gently, raising an eyebrow at him.
"I do," said Ryan quickly, then he blushed. "I mean, I do love you. Forever and always, like you said."
"Good," whispered Greg, though his throat clogged with tears. "Good. And somehow, though God only knows how, it will all work out. I promise."
"I know," whispered Ryan, taking Greg's hand and holding it. "I know." He leaned in and kissed him, deeply, releasing all his worries and his fears and just concentrating on the here and now with Greg.
Greg kissed him back, then pulled away. "What do you say we take this somewhere more private?" he asked, kissing Ryan again.
Ryan nodded. "I agree completely." They both picked up their things and left the beach, heading back to their hotel room and the temporary forgetting that would accompany it.
A/N: Wait, the next day in the story is the last day? How does that work? (That was me mimicking confused readers) Alright, here's how it works:
According to Grissom, they had nine days: two devoted to travel and seven to "session." So, the first day when they went to the Sears tower was one travel day. The next day, when they did the trust fall, was day one of the session (day two overall). Day three was the phone calls. Days four and five were not spoken about (we can assume they had session those days). Day six was when they went to Millenium Park, and day seven was these past two chapters. Day eight will be the next chapter, along with day nine. Cool? Cool.