Erin's patience with avoiding reaching out to Alex had lasted through precisely one case, and now that Penelope and Agent Morgan were back, as well, she almost felt like she had to reach out sooner rather than later so as not to give the impression that there was truly bad blood between them. Though David hadn't said anything, she had the feeling that Alex was making comments about things to him during their times together in Seattle. That alone had made her want to reach out to Alex, to set things right between them. But that didn't seem to be possible, as the moment that the whole team had regrouped in the bullpen, she was sending them down to Texas on an urgent case that required their full attention.
"Erin? Where are you?"
Looking up, she gave Aaron a small smile before looking down at the stack of files that she would be handing out to the team as soon as they were all in the ready room. And though she hadn't told Penelope, she'd been practicing with the remote so that she wouldn't look foolish in front of everyone. "Here and a million miles away. I'm anxious about Alex, and my control over not reacting to her is fast fraying. Jessica told me to wait things out, to let her make the first move, but I also want to say something to her, at least. To let her know that I am so glad that she's back with us."
"Jess is usually right when it comes to these things, but if you need to get it out of your system, the safest place to do that would be right after this briefing. Now, are you ready to present to the team?"
She nodded and got up from her desk, picking up the stack of files before following him out of the room. As they approached the bullpen, she could see most everyone was gathered near the doorway, talking about something. And even though the case was so grim and urgent, Erin couldn't quite stamp out the smile that fluttered across her lips when she saw Alex's dark head. Her hair hadn't changed in the years that they'd been apart, and that somehow made her feel a little more settled, more certain, that reaching out to her after the briefing would be the right thing to do. So she squared her shoulders as they made their way past the group, Aaron telling the others to head up to the briefing room, as they needed to get moving quickly.
The entire briefing passed by in a blur for Erin, though she did notice the almost proud look that Penelope gave her at how smoothly she controlled the remote. That was a good spot of encouragement, and as soon as she had finished handing out the pertinent details, Aaron wrapped up the briefing. "And wheel's up in thirty, everyone. We need to get down there sooner rather than later."
The others nodded as they quickly left the room, though Erin noticed that Penelope lingered a little along with Alex, as if she wanted to talk to Erin. She gave the younger woman a smile and small shake of her head before taking a deep breath. "A word, please, Alex?"
Her former friend whirled around on her heel to face Erin, a cool, distant, expression on her face. "What is it, Erin? As you said yourself, time is of the essence on this case."
She nodded and licked her lips nervously as she blinked a few times. "I just wanted to say that I am so glad that you're a part of the team once more, Alex. It is good to have you here."
"I feel the same way, Erin. It is damn good to be back where I belong, despite everything that you did to make certain that I would never darken these halls again. I know that you've been reaching out to me, so I'll say this now, don't. There are no amends in the world that could ever make up for what you did. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get going for this case."
Before Erin could say another word, Alex was striding from the room, and she sagged against the table, rubbing her face with her hand as she struggled not to cry. She didn't want to leave the room with red rimmed eyes, as that would just spark the gossip mill once more, and that was the last thing she wanted for Alex. She had been grist for that mill too often since she fell pregnant with Elise to have it truly bother her that much any longer. A soft knocking on the door caught her attention, and she looked up to see Penelope standing there, an uncharacteristic frown marring her pretty face. "May I help you, Ms. Garcia?"
Penelope entered the room, closing the door behind her before coming over to the table and resting against it as she stared intently at Erin. "I had a run in with Blake, too, before the briefing started. Don't feel like you're the only one who got off on bad terms with her."
"We've been on bad terms since the Amerithrax debacle, though I'm surprised that you didn't know that particular fact."
"I try not to pry into private matters now. Not after all the trouble I got in, back when Gideon was still with us." Hesitantly, Penelope reached out and touched her shoulder lightly, the frown easing into something more sympathetic. "But if you ever want to talk about what's between the two of you, my ear is open, and my shoulder is soft. Though I know that you probably would talk with Jessica before me. That's okay, you two are super close, and I'm just a work colleague."
Erin shrugged a little as she took a deep breath. "And I don't think that I would talk about this with you, because I wouldn't want to bias you in any way. Alex deserves a fair shake this time around, and I am determined to make certain that she receives just that."
"You love her." Erin blanched, trying to think of a way to deny what Penelope had just said. "No, don't look like that. It's not like the love that you and Rossi have, but it's obvious that you have love in your heart for her. I love Jayje and Emily, you love Jessica. And it's obvious from your tone and inflection that you love Alex, too. Which, it must just kill your heart to have her reject you like that."
She nodded, hoping that she could trust Penelope with this one little truth. "It does ache, because I've been desperately chasing amends with Alex since what happened. I've been rejected each time, which I understand, but I want to just…"
"You want to pick up your friendship from the point before you hurt her. You can't do that." She nodded. "But you can look at it from the perspective of starting over, and acknowledge the fact that things are rough between you two, but that you're willing to put in the difficult work and meet her more than halfway, because she'll still be wary of trusting you. And I have to start over with her, too, since I really put my foot in my mouth this morning. Now, I still have about twenty minutes before going into the plane briefing with the team. Do you want to head down to the canteen and pick up a good cup of coffee?"
"I think that I would like nothing better than that, thank you, Penelope." The younger woman grinned at her, nodding quickly before taking hold of Erin's elbow and guiding her from the briefing room, chattering away about something innocuous that was perfect to keep Erin's mind from dwelling too much on Alex and what their path forward should be.