See Chapter One for disclaimers.

CHAPTER TEN

Cody awoke the next morning with pleasant memories of the night before, and glanced over at Jennie, who was still sleeping soundly.

She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, she thought, as she smiled. I can't believe she let me be her first. God, I love her so much...

"Honey," she whispered, brushing her lips softly across the blonde's. "Jen, it's time to get up, sweetheart."

The woman groaned, and tired green eyes slowly opened. Jennie smiled. "Morning," she said, happily.

"Morning," replied Cody, giving her a proper good morning kiss. "Any regrets?" she asked, trying not to show how afraid she was of an affirmative answer.

"Not a one," smiled the woman, returning the soft kiss. "You?"

"Never," replied the tall star, rolling her eyes as she glanced at the clock. "Shit," she cursed. "Joe wants us to practice today. I've got to go if I want to make it there on time."

Jennie sighed. "Okay," she said, placing small butterfly kisses all over her lover's face. "I'll just stay here all day and think of you."

Cody grinned. "What do you think I'm going to be doing? Don't you have to work, honey?" she asked, after realizing that it was Saturday.

Jennie shook her head. "No," she said. "I get to sleep in. I gave notice to the parents that I'd be taking this weekend and the next off, since most people were going to be out of town for one reason or another, anyway," she added. "I figured it wasn't worth it to open up the daycare for only Jeffrey."

The star smiled. "I guess I'll go, then," she said. "I'll miss you."

Jennie grinned. "I'll miss you, too," she echoed, and kissed her, gently.

Cody dressed quickly, kissing the woman once more before she headed for the door. "I don't think I'll be able to come over tonight," she said, sadly. "I promised Joe I'd work on a few plays for him, and I need to get that done. I'll probably call you, though, okay? See you tomorrow. I love you," she added.

"Love you, too," responded Jennie, grabbing the vacated pillow and closing her eyes again, as Cody smiled and walked out the door.

And ran straight into Jeffrey. "Hi, little man," said the woman, trying not to look as awkward as she felt. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Watching cartoons," he said, as if it was obvious. "Did you and my mom have a sleep-over?"

Oh, boy, did we!

"Uh, yeah," replied Cody, sure she was blushing a deep red.

"Were you guys having a pillow fight or something? 'Cause you kept yelling," he said, innocently.

How much trouble would I be in if I told him to ask his mother? Cody wondered. Nah, I think I can handle this one myself.

"Yeah, we got in a pillow fight," agreed the tall woman, groaning inwardly that the boy could hear them.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd be surprised if the whole neighborhood doesn't give me a funny look! Question is, do I care? Not in the slightest! she decided, happily.

"Who won?"

Cody paused for a moment, before a bright smile lit her face. "Your mother. Twice."

"Cool! I'm gonna go say good morning!" he said, but Cody caught his arm before he could run down the hallway.

"Why don't you let her sleep, little man?" she asked. "She's tired."

Jeffrey nodded, and sat back down in front of the TV, waving goodbye to Cody as she left.

"Whoa," she said, as she climbed on her motorcycle, "that was close. Wonder what Jennie's gonna tell him if he asks her about it. Wish I could be there to see the look on her face."

Why? It'd probably be the same as the one on mine, she mused.

Cody's mind was on Jennie the entire day, just as she'd said, and her game was good, but not nearly as fierce as usual. If anyone noticed, they were wise enough not to say anything. Joe kept shooting her angry looks, and Matt just grinned at her, saying something about "Finally!" and earning the man a slap across the back of his head.

As the practice came to an end, and Cody gathered up her belongings, Joe approached her. "Get your stuff and meet me in my office in ten minutes," he ordered, and the woman nodded. The men on her team, of course, started humming the funeral procession, which was silenced with a single icy blue glare.

Once she had everything in her bag, she drove the few miles to Joe Henry's office, trying to decide what was going on. The three-story building looked small, but was really quite large. Joe's office was on the third floor, all the way in the back, and Cody walked the familiar route up the stairs. A desk for his secretary was visible next to the double doors, but it was empty at this hour of the night.

Cody knocked on the doorframe, noticing that the door was open, and the man looked up from the papers on his desk. He motioned her in, and she sat down in the chair across from him, wondering what her coach wanted with her. He'd said he wanted the plays in by Monday morning, so she wasn't late with that...

Joe Henry finished writing something, and finally looked up to face her. "Cody," he said, "I'm not going to beat around the bush. I know about Jennie."

Cody swallowed, but willed her face to remain impassive, praying the man couldn't tell how fast her heart was beating inside her chest, as it threatened to explode. "What do you mean?" she asked, evenly, hoping her voice didn't betray her.

"Just what I said. I distinctly remember telling you that I would not tolerate any personal relationships between my players and fans, unless they were together previously. And I know that's not the case with this particular blonde," he said, and Cody refused to let him know he was scaring the crap out of her.

"So, what are you gonna do about it?"

"I want you to break it off with her," he said. "You haven't been playing your best, and the game comes first. You've had your head up your ass since she started showing up for games, and you couldn't even concentrate for practice today. She's the problem, now correct it," he ordered.

Cody glared at him, angrily. "I love her. I'm not going to break up with her just because you say so," she stated. "Besides, she wasn't a fan when I met her."

"I don't give a damn!" he shouted, and then calmed down. The man sighed, and Cody didn't like the way he suddenly became smug. "I guess you're forcing me to play hardball, then, Madison," he warned, and Cody raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue.

"Remember our deal? Pauline?"

The baseball star blanched. "You wouldn't," was all she could say. "You wouldn't play that fucking card, Joe. You wouldn't," she repeated.

"Oh, yes, I would," he said. "I told you when I caught you that I wouldn't say anything if you'd keep playing for me, and if you'd put your all into it. Now, you're slacking, and it's easily remedied. Either you break it off with her, or it all goes public."

"You little shit!" she cried, getting to her feet. "You can't fucking blackmail me!"

"On the contrary," he grinned. "I can, and I am, because I always get what I want. Do what I ask, or you can say bye-bye to your career, your little girlfriend, and even your life for the next seven years or so," he said, smiling with confidence as she sank back down into her chair. "And everyone will hear about how Cody Madison is a no good gay slut with a drug problem, and jail time just waiting for her."

Cody hung her head; she knew she was beat. "No one knows about that, Joe."

God, not even Garret knows about that. He can't know… no one can.

"And no one will," he soothed, knowing he had her where he wanted her. "Just so long as you continue to play at your prime, stop seeing Jennie, and quit playing ball with the sniveling little brat. That's all I ask. You break it off with her tonight, make sure she knows the kid won't play catch with you anymore, because he's only a connection of her, and tell me in the morning, during practice. Do that, and your secret's safe with me," he said, spreading his hands.

Almost imperceptibly, Cody nodded. "I'll do it," she said, standing on shaky legs. "Just keep quiet." Joe Henry was smirking, and he made a sign of zipping his lips, and throwing away the key. "I'll tell you in the morning."

"Oh, and Cody?" he called, and she turned to him. "Don't try to fuck me over. I'll know if you do it, or if you're just bluffing. Don't bluff. Believe me, you don't want to screw with me," he growled, and she nodded.

"It'll be solid," she said, and walked out the door. She climbed on her motorcycle, and drove what had to be the longest ten miles of her life, to Jennie's house. As she rode, letting the wind whip through her hair, she got to thinking about what she had to do, and suddenly felt as though she had been punched in the gut.

Oh, God, she thought. Last night... Dear God, I loved her last night. She allowed me to love her, to be her first, and now what am I doing? I took something extremely precious, that she can never get back, and now I have to just throw it away.

She's going to think everything I told her was a lie, when it wasn't. I've never been so fucking honest in all my life! God, I meant everything I told her, and more.

But Joe knows what buttons to push, she sighed. And there's no way I can let what I did go public. She'd turn away from me for sure, if she found out. There is no lesser of two evils in this, is there? Good old Charles Caleb Colton, once again, "Life often presents us with a choice of evils rather than goods."

Well, Charlie, what do you do when it's evil all the way around and you're screwed no matter what you do?

I either lose Jennie now and have her hate me, or I lose her later and have her hate me. I guess I'm just speeding up the inevitable…

The blonde answered the knock at her door, wondering who it could be at 8:30 at night, and was surprised to find six-feet of Cody Madison standing in her doorway.

"Cody? Come in," she said, her face lighting up at the sight of the woman. "What are you doing here? You said you wouldn't be over tonight," she reminded, although it was obvious she didn't mind the change in plans.

"We need to talk," stated Cody, her face expressionless.

Jennie paused. That didn't sound good. "Okay," she said, leading them to the couch. Cody sat next to her, and the blonde took the larger hand in her own, worried. "What is it?"

Cody withdrew her hand, quickly, and knew it was going to kill her if she had to watch pain keep flickering across the blonde's face all night. She took a deep breath, and said, "It's over."

Jennie didn't do anything for a minute, and then, when she was sure she had heard the tall woman correctly, she blinked. "What?" she asked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it's over between us, Jennie," she explained, and Jennie noticed that the woman called her "Jennie", not "Jen". That meant she was serious.

"Why?" was the logical question. Jennie's head was spinning; she couldn't understand why the sudden break up was occurring, but knew that once it was over and she had time to think about it, she'd be hurting much more than she was right now. If that was possible, which she was seriously doubting.

Cody shrugged, and tried to remain cold and distant. "It was fun while it lasted, but I need something better," she said, harshly. She had no idea how she was going to do it, when her heart was breaking already, but she had no choice.

No choice, she kept telling herself. I have no choice. I have to do this. No choice…

"Better?" repeated Jennie, shaking her head as anger overwhelmed her. "What do you mean, better? Are you saying it was just fun and games, a nice little way to pass the time between the games and the practices? That it was nothing to you? What we had means nothing?" she demanded, tears threatening to overflow.

The tall woman winced inwardly. Oh, Jennie. All I want to do right now is hold you, and tell you everything's going to be all right, but I can't. Damn it all to fucking Hell, I can't! I don't want to be here doing this, I don't want to hurt you. But I know that's what I'm doing and I have no choice.

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," she said, casually.

"But... everything you've done... helping with the daycare, and taking care of Jeffrey…" said Jennie, rather bewildered. "What was all that for?"

"All part of the plan," lied Cody. "I knew when I saw you I wanted to bed you, and everything else I did were just things that had to be taken care of before that could happen. I always get the woman I want, no matter what I have to do, even if it means dealing with a kid," the tall woman said, nonchalantly. "I did what I came for, so now I'm moving on."

"So, everything you said last night, it was just a bunch of lies?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes. Please, no, Cody. Don't let our love be a lie. "What you said, about making love... you didn't mean it?"

I meant it with all my heart, Jen, she thought.

The woman shrugged. "Just a line," she said. "Works every time."

Cody Madison had never been slapped before in her life, until that night. And her face didn't hurt as much as she'd expected, but her heart was dying.

Just as soon as she did it, Jennie regretted it, and the anger disappeared. She suddenly realized what she'd done, and figured she must have done something that upset Cody, or disappointed her. Maybe she hadn't been satisfying enough for the woman, but she hoped they could talk it out. Slapping her wasn't going to help the situation any.

"I-I'm sorry," she muttered, taking Cody's face in her hands for a brief moment, before the baseball star pulled back, reluctantly.

What is this? Cody thought. I just told her that our relationship meant nothing, that she was basically nothing more than a notch in my belt, and she's apologizing for slapping me? Shit, Jennie, you're making this harder than it already is.

"Cody, listen, I don't know what I did that's brought you to this, but," she began, but Cody cut her off. She knew if the woman started apologizing for anything else, or blamed it on herself, she wouldn't be able to go through with it.

"No, I just got tired of you," she said. "I mean, a single mom with baggage doesn't do anything for me, really. Kind of drags me down, and I don't need that. There's a lot more opportunities for something... more stimulating," she stated.

God help me, I can't believe I just said that! But I have to make sure she won't want to come back to me, or Joe will think I was lying.

"So, I'm calling it off."

"Can't we talk about it?" pleaded Jennie, and Cody resisted the strong urge to kiss away the tears that were falling from her green eyes.

Cody scoffed, and rolled her eyes. "Please, not that," she said, cruelly. "It's not enough that I have to put up with your endless drivel when we were together, but you want me to suffer through it after we break up? I don't think so," she said, getting to her feet.

"Look, I can tell you it was pretty good while it lasted, if that makes you feel better," she shrugged, as if to say that really wasn't the truth.

Come on, Jennie. Fight me for it. Yell at me, scream in my face. Do something, damn it! Don't let me make the biggest goddamned mistake of my life, Cody implored, silently.

"I guess, if this is what you really want," said Jennie, defeated, and Cody wanted to scream at her, to tell her "Hell, no, this isn't what I want! I want to tell Joe to go fuck himself in a corner, and I want to hold you in my arms and beg for forgiveness!" but she couldn't.

Cody nodded. "Glad you understand. Tell Jeffrey he needs to get a new baseball buddy," she said, as she walked out the door, and put her helmet on.

As she climbed on her bike, and started the engine, she told herself she wouldn't look back, it was just bad luck. Taking a quick glance in her rearview side mirror, the tall baseball star saw a small blonde standing just outside the door, sliding to the ground as she cried her eyes out, thinking Cody couldn't see her.

Swallowing back her own tears, Cody drove two miles into the hills, before pulling over, and ripping off her helmet. "Damn it!" she screamed into the night, making sure she was far enough away so no one would hear her. "Damn it! Damn it! Goddamn it!"

The woman kicked a rock a few times, before her emotions overcame her, and she slumped to the ground, drawing her knees up to her chest and sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Jennie. God, I'm so sorry…" her tears trailed off as she succumbed to a sorrowful sleep.

And dreamed of the day that had come back to haunt her...

It was the first game of the season, Cody's first with the team, and Cody had made the winning catch, ending the best triple play in the Warriors' history - all three years of it. The star decided to celebrate with a woman in the stands, who had been so gracious as to offer herself to Cody, who took her up on it.

"Wow," was all a breathless young blonde could manage, as Cody rolled off to her own side of the motel room bed. "What are you doing?" she asked, upon seeing the tall woman dig out a lighter.

Cody grinned. "After sex joint," she said. "Want some?" The woman shook her head, and Cody shrugged - all for her, then. She was just putting the smoldering butt out in the ashtray, and turning back to her bedmate, when the door burst open. Now, Cody was used to the situation - a woman in her bed, only she didn't have to pay this one - but being interrupted was something new.

And the woman found she didn't like it.

"Cody, is that what I think it is?" demanded her coach, Joe Henry, pointing to the ashtray.

"Jesus, Joe! What the fuck are you trying to do? Shit, you scared me," she accused, not caring in the slightest that Pat, Polly, whatever the hell her name was - Cody couldn't remember - was using the entire blanket to cover her nakedness.

"Cody, I, uh," stuttered Joe, taking a good look at the nude woman.

Cody sighed. "Put your eyes back in your head, Joe," she said, and then glanced at the man, smirking. "And tell your pants it's not polite to point. I'm getting dressed. You, too," she said to her companion, and the blonde scrambled to find her clothes.

"Can I talk to your little friend here for a minute, Cody?" Joe asked, and Cody shrugged. Joe escorted the woman outside, while Cody fished her underwear out from under the bed.

I don't remember throwing my bra on the ceiling fan, she thought, with a slight frown, as she retrieved it. Oh, wait a minute... that's not mine! She snorted. I don't think it's hers, either. Must be a souvenir from the last occupants. I think I'll leave it here...

A few minutes later, as Cody finished tying her shoes, Joe returned, looking grim. The young blonde stood behind him, looking scared.

"Cody, you're in some serious trouble here," he said.

Cody waved him off. "Don't worry about it," she said. "I've got some flower-scented shit that'll cover it up, and I'll bury the joint in the dirt later."

Joe shook his head. "No, not that," he protested. "It seems Pauline," Ah, so that was her name! "lied to you. She's not nineteen years old, Cody."

"So, what? Is she twenty?" laughed the woman.

"She's sixteen, Cody."

Cody's blue eyes widened. "What?" she cried, startling the blonde as she advanced towards her, Joe's presence the only thing making her turn back around. "She's sixteen? Sixteen fucking years old? Shit!" she cursed, sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! She told me she was nineteen."

Pauline spoke up. "You guessed. I just didn't tell you that you were wrong," she pointed out. "You were high, anyway. I don't think it would have mattered what I told you."

"Goddamn lying cunt!" cried Cody, Joe standing between her and Pauline, again.

"Pauline, why don't you go on home." It wasn't a question or a suggestion, it was an order, and Pauline obeyed. "Cody, you're in deep here," the man said, after the woman was gone.

"I know, I know," she mumbled, searching for another joint. Finding none, she cursed, "Fuck! Hey, Joe, you got -?"

"No," he stated, crossing the room to her in three quick strides. "Listen to me, Madison. We're talking statutory rape, here. Jail," he said, forcefully. "Drugs won't help you any."

"Joe," she pleaded, "Joe, you've gotta help me. Please." Her hands were trembling, and she collapsed onto the bed again.

She didn't see the small grin on Joe's face, contorting his features into more of a sneer. "Listen, Cody. Pauline won't tell anyone, I've made sure of that," he assured her.

"And you?"

"You stay clean, keep playing for me, and playing well, and I won't tell a soul. Just do as I say, and your secret's safe with me. All right?" he offered, and Cody nodded, readily.

"You got it," she said, proving it to him by taking the lighter out of her pocket and throwing it in the trash can on the way out. She'd never picked up a joint, a cigarette, or even a strong drink, again. Quitting everything cold turkey hadn't been all that hard for the woman, since she'd never really enjoyed doing any of it - it was more of just a way to pass the time and dull the painful reality of life.

Well, except the sex. That was hard to give up.

"That's my girl," Joe smiled. "Remember, just do as I say."

Do as I say…

As I say…

Just do as I say…

"Son of a bitch!" Cody cried, waking to the chill of the darkness. No, the night was warm. Perhaps it was the chill of a lonely, broken heart.