See Chapter One for disclaimers.
CHAPTER TWELVE"Good evening, Cody," greeted the computer, as she walked in her home. "You have one message."
"Play," she ordered, as she took off her shoes.
"Hey, C-girl, it's Matt. Just wondering what happened to you. I'll be at home if you need me. Talk to you later. Bye," finished the man, and Cody sighed. She'd forgotten about her arrangements to meet her friend for dinner.
"End of messages."
"Erase," she said, and waited a few minutes before dialing the man's number.
On the second ring, it was answered. "Hey, Cody," said the man.
"Hey, Matt," she replied. "Sorry about dinner."
"Ah, that's okay," he smirked. "Found a girl to take your place."
"Really?" An eyebrow was raised. "Have fun?"
"Not really, no," he sighed. "Unfortunately, as it turned out, she was just waiting for someone. And it wasn't me."
Cody shook her head. "Sorry, buddy." She took a deep breath - she wanted to tell somebody about Jennie, now that she could, but the trouble was, could she really do it?
"Listen, Matt, are you busy tonight?"
"No," he drawled, curious. "Why?"
"Because, I was kind of hoping I could talk to you," she blurted. Well, I guess I don't have a choice now. I have to tell him, the woman decided.
Matt's jaw dropped. "Yeah, sure!" he said. "I'll be there in ten minutes, okay?" Cody agreed, and hung up, thinking of what she had just gotten herself into.
"Cody," she chastised herself, aloud, "you do realize this means you're going to tell him everything? From ten years ago to twenty minutes ago." The tall woman sighed, and answered herself. "Yeah, I know. It's gonna be hard, but I have to tell someone! I guess I'll have to tell Garret next - and then Jennie.
"Oh, God... Jennie," she sighed. "Is she even gonna talk to me? I doubt she'll just let me in to her house, so how am I going to find her to talk to her?" Her worries continued to be voiced until there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," she called, knowing it was Matt.
The man walked in, and closed the door behind him. "What's up, Cody?" he asked.
"Sit down, Matt," she said, gesturing to the couch in her living room. "It's gonna be a long night." At a slow pace which Matt gratefully accepted, Cody told her tale - everything. She told her friend about the drugs, the alcohol, and the sex that she had turned to after her father's death, all going on under Garret's nose. She told him about getting caught with the "sixteen" year old, and the deal she'd made with Joe. Then followed Jennie, and the reason for the break-up, concluded with her discovery and confrontation with Joe.
For a long five minutes afterwards, neither of them said a word. Matt was too stunned by the sudden flood of words from his friend's mouth, and what he'd been told, and Cody was too afraid to say anything else.
Finally, she couldn't stand it. "Damn it, Matt, say something!" she said.
"She was nineteen?"
Cody sighed. "Yes, Matt," she said. "Joe lied to me so he could get what he wanted. She was not sixteen, he knew that, and he used that to make me break up with Jennie, the son of a bitch."
"And you went through with it?" he questioned.
"I figured she'd leave me if she found out what I'd done anyway," shrugged the player. "She'd hate me either way."
"And her kid? Jeffrey? What's going on with him?" he asked.
Cody looked away. "I... I don't know. I couldn't just push him away, like I had Jennie, so I told him I had to go away and wouldn't be able to talk to him or his mom. Do you know what he asked me?" Matt shook his head, concerned by the tears in his friend's blue eyes. "He asked me if, when I came back, I would make his mom happy again, because she didn't like it when I went away. Damn it!" she cursed, wiping at her eyes.
"What are you gonna do?"
"I'm going to tell Garret tomorrow," she said, and suddenly sounded very tired. "And then, somehow, I'm going to find Jennie and tell her. Then, I don't know. I'll do whatever it takes to get her to take me back."
Matt sighed, and licked his lips. "Cody, you have to look at this realistically," he said. "It's been a year since she's heard a single word from you, and the last she heard from you was that you didn't love her because she wasn't good enough in bed, and that was when you dumped her. How receptive do you think she's going to be to your just reappearing?"
Cody leaned back against the couch, stretching out her legs. "Do you have to be so damn right all the time, Matt?" she asked. "I know she hates me, no more than I hate myself for what I did to her, and she has every right. But I have to talk to her, to explain to her what happened, Matt. I have to," she repeated. "I love her with all my heart."
"I know you do, C-girl," agreed the man, putting his hand on her shoulder. "And I know she felt the same way about you. I just hope she can find that again."
"You're no help."
Matt shrugged. "I do what I can," he smirked, and Cody glared at him, before breaking out into a grin at his expression of complete innocence. He placed his hand over his heart, feigning utter shock. "Oh my God! She smiled!" he cried. "Holy shit! Stop the presses!"
Cody raised an amused eyebrow at his antics, and punched him playfully in the arm. "Knock it off," she growled. "You know, just about the only thing I didn't do when I was a teenager was commit murder. Think I could start now? I really, really, wanna kill that goddamn lying son of bitch."
The next day, just as she'd said, Cody walked into Garret's Restaurant, and sat down at the table. The restaurant was closed, but she had a set of keys, and the man was still surprised to come out of his back room and find the woman sitting at her table.
"Cody!" he said, happily, giving her a hug. "To what do I owe this visit?"
"Garret, I need to talk to you," she began, gathering her courage as she spoke, telling the man everything in a rush of words, trying to get it over with. When she was done, there was a thick silence that hung in the air, nearly smothering the tall woman.
"Cody, I knew about your little habits while you were living with me," he said, and the tall star's jaw hit the table. "I didn't stop you because I knew it wouldn't do any good - if you really wanted to do it, you'd do it whether I permitted it or not. I hated having to watch you go through that, though," he admitted, softly.
"I'm sorry I put you through all that, Garret," she said, honestly. "I don't think I even knew why I did half the things I did."
"Are you going to tell Jennie?" was his first question.
The woman nodded. "I'm going to try," she said. "If I can find her, of course, since I don't think she'll just let me into her house, considering what I did to her the last time we spoke. Do you know where she is?"
The man shrugged, and Cody's heart fell. "She hasn't been in here very often, but when she does come in, she mentions something about how Jeffrey has a game every Saturday, and practices after school for his softball team almost every day," he said, helpfully.
"Of course!" said Cody, smiling as it hit her. "There's a park not far from their house. I'm sure that's where she takes Jeff to practice! Thanks, Garret," she said. The two talked a while longer, until the man opened his business, and Cody left to find Jennie.
It was a Saturday, so the tall woman sneaked over to the park, where a Little League game was going on. Sitting astride her motorcycle, she watched from the street, knowing very well that Jennie was somewhere in the stands, and she didn't want the blonde to see her just yet.
As Cody watched, Jeffrey ran after a pop-fly ball, and caught it with ease. He was one of the smaller boys on the team, but thanks to his training from Cody, he was the best catcher the coach had. Staying until parents and kids began filing out, the star drove home, and spent the rest of the weekend trying to figure out what to say to Jennie when she saw her.
Monday afternoon, just after five o'clock, Cody headed over to the park again, this time, searching for Jennie. She knew the woman would be off work, and assumed she and her son would be out practicing ball before it got dark. Stepping carefully, and making sure Jennie didn't happen to see her, Cody's blue eyes looked for any sign of the woman she loved.
Cody held her breath when she caught sight of the blonde woman, as she hid behind the nearest concrete picnic area, hoping that the half dozen benches and tables wouldn't give her away. Watching the young blonde and her son, the latter of which was catching a baseball in his glove, Cody frowned when a taller blonde approached Jennie.
From what Cody could see, the woman was about 5'9'', with long wavy blonde hair, and a thin build. She had hard, brown eyes, and a stoic face as she walked up to the smaller woman, anger evident in her stride. The two women seemed to be squabbling about the time, because the tall blonde kept pointing to her watch. Cody was too far away to make out what they were saying, but Jennie apparently said something that upset the other woman, because the gentle blonde received a hard slap across the face - which Cody heard.
She looked away for a moment, resisting the urge to march up to the tall woman, whoever she was, and beat her within an inch of her life for hurting Jennie.
No, Cody, she told herself, you can't do anything - you have no right anymore. She's not your girlfriend, you're the one who dumped her, and she hates you. She's a big girl, she can choose her own relationships.
She sighed. But, goddamn it, I don't want her to!
Upon seeing his mother hurt, Jeff walked up to the
woman, and told her off,
judging by his clenched little fists and
angry face. With a snarl, the woman backhanded the child out of her
way, unaware that the cool blue eyes of the tall baseball star who
was watching her just narrowed into hostile slits.
Charging out of her hiding place, Cody approached the woman, angrily. "Why don't you pick on someone who can fight back?" she demanded, and the woman had the nerve to laugh in her face.
"And who the fuck are you? The brat's watchdog?" she grinned, evilly, as Jennie tried hard not to feel anything from the woman's arrival, although her heart wanted to leap for joy at the sight of Cody.
"Just a friend," stated the star. "If I see you strike him again, I will make you very sorry you ever thought of harming a child."
"Hey, he likes me! Don't you?" asked the blonde maniac, glancing down at Jeffrey, who tore his gaze from Cody long enough to shake his head. "You brat!" she exclaimed, and grabbed his arm, bringing him close to her face so she could yell and scream at him.
Cody growled, and removed the woman's hand, gently nudging Jeff towards his mother, before turning to face her opponent.
"Sandra, please, let's just go," said Jennie, tugging on the woman's arm, only to be shoved to the ground.
"No," she said, harshly. "Bitch wants to play." The two circled each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.
Jennie tried to dissipate the fight once more. "Please, Jeffrey's here," she said, and, for an instant, Cody paused, thinking of the example she was setting for the boy.
That was all the opportunity Sandra needed. She got so far as to connect a solid punch to Cody's face, and a kick to her side, before the woman regained her senses, and began to fight back.
"It's not so bad picking on defenseless little kids, but I'm gonna kick your butt," growled Cody, watching her language since Jeffrey was within earshot.
As if to prove her point, Cody spun around, catching the side of the tall blonde's face with her heel as she completed her full 360-degree spin.
Immediately, the woman gave up, and Cody was disgusted
at her lack of bravery
once she was injured. "Fuck this,"
she spat, "you can have her, if that's what you want. I'm out
of here," Sandra said, walking away, gingerly touching her jaw
with a manicured hand.
The tall star shook her head, and turned around to face Jennie, only to see that she and Jeffrey were already walking away.
"Jennie, wait!" she called, jogging to catch up to them when the woman didn't stop. "Jen, please, stop. I need to talk to you."
"Why?" she asked. "You just cost me my girlfriend, and now you expect me to listen to you?"
Cody's jaw hit the ground so hard she thought it'd bruise. "That was your girlfriend?" she exclaimed. "You've got to be kidding me! Jen, why would you be in an abusive relationship like that?"
God, don't tell me she went to that when I left her...!
"Why do you care?"
"You deserve better," said the woman, gently.
"Like you'd know," she retorted, and continued walking to the car, leaving Cody to nurse a bloody nose and bruised ribs, not to mention a wounded heart.
Cody winced as she held the bag of ice against her side to keep the swelling down on her bruise. Her nose had already stopped bleeding, and was left feeling raw and dry. Sniffling, and tasting blood in the back of her throat, the tall woman groaned.
"I should have killed that bitch when I had the chance," she cursed, angrily. "Radio on, volume up," she ordered, when all she held was a bag of water, and decided the shower was calling her name. It would make her body feel better, Cody knew, but nothing known to man could ease the hurt in her heart.
A light rock song was playing, but she ignored it, making her way to the bathroom. Stripping down to nothing, which didn't take long, considering she had removed her shirt in order to ice her ribs, she stepped gratefully into the cascade of hot water. Simply standing under the spray for a few minutes, Cody let the water pound against her skin, and wished she could cleanse the pain from her soul.
Indulging in a twenty minute shower, Cody was drying off with a towel when the lyrics of a song on the radio caught her attention.
Baby set me free
From this misery
I can't take it no more
Since you ran away
Nothing's been the same
Don't know what I'm living for
Here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do
Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby
There's a feeling inside
I want you to know
You are the one and I can't
Let you go
So I told you lies
Even made you cry
Baby I was so wrong
Girl I promise you
Now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs
'Cause here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do
Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't
Let you go
And I wonder (wonder)
Are you thinking of me
'Cause I'm thinking of you
And I wonder (wonder)
Are you ever coming back in my life
'Cause here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do
Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby
There's a feeling inside
I want you to know
You are the one and I can't…
Until you're back here baby…
"That was Back Here, Baby, by BB Mak. Man, that's a great classic song if…"
"Radio off." The DJ was interrupted by the woman's stern command, as she stood in her bathroom, frozen in time as the realization hit her. Suddenly, Cody knew what she had to do; she had to tell Jennie the truth, even though it meant telling her everything. The whole thing began with a lie, so perhaps the only to fix it was with the absolute truth.
If I explain everything to her, maybe she'll understand, she hoped, getting dressed quickly. Deciding she had to put her all into it, and bare everything if it gave her a chance to get Jennie back, she'd do it in a heartbeat. Revving the engine on her motorcycle, she traveled a road she hadn't been down in a year.
Jennie walked through the house, searching for her keys, finding them next to her purse on the counter. Turning to address her son, she called for his attention, drawing him away from the TV screen.
"Now, I'll only be gone for a few minutes. I'm just going to the post office to drop these packages off for Grandma's birthday," she reminded, and the boy nodded. Jennie hadn't seen her parents in a while, simply because each time Dana was around her daughter, she insisted on broaching the subject of Cody and requesting more details, which Jennie refused to give.
"And I'll make dinner when I get back."
"Okay."
"You remember the rules, right?"
The boy sighed. "Yes, Mom. Don't answer the phone or open the door for nobody," Jeffrey recited.
"Anybody," corrected Jennie.
"Yeah," he grinned. "I'll be okay, mom, you can go." Kissing her son on the top of his head, Jennie walked out the door and locked it behind her, leaving Jeffrey watching his cartoons. She knew the boy would be fine by himself, but the blonde couldn't get it out her head that Cody was going to try something.
I wouldn't put it past her, that's for sure.
Taking a deep breath, Cody knocked on the door. She'd waited about a minute after Jennie drove away, to make sure she was really gone, and figured she'd at least talk to Jeffrey for a bit, just to see how the child was doing. Even if she didn't get a chance to talk to Jennie, she did miss the boy immensely.
Jeffrey froze, brown eyes wide. No one had ever actually called or come to the house while he was home alone, so he had never had to enforce the rules. He thought about ignoring whoever it was and hoping they'd go away, but the voice that drifted through the wooden door made him pause.
"Jeffrey? Hey, little man, it's me; it's Cody," the woman said, adding, "Think I can come in for a minute?"
"Mom said I'm not supposed to let strangers inside," he pointed out, quietly.
"But, I'm not a stranger, you know me. And I just want to talk to your mom when she comes home," Cody explained. "It's very important that I speak with her."
The boy was silent for a moment, and Cody was afraid he'd left.
"Jeffrey?"
"Did you come to make my mom happy again, Cody? 'Cause you said you would," Jeff recalled.
Cody bit her lip. "I came to try, Jeff," she replied, honestly.
"Okay." Unlocking the door, figuring he wouldn't get in trouble because his mom would like Cody again and everything would be back to normal, he let the woman inside, and then locked the door again. The two stood there, each starting at the other for a few moments, neither of them saying a thing.
"I missed you, Cody," were the first words out of the boy's mouth, and Cody drew him into a fierce hug.
"I missed you, too, little man," Cody responded, tears surfacing as the child wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her as if to disprove the theory that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
"I'm glad you made Sandra go away," said Jeff, abruptly. "I didn't like her. She kept being mad at my mom and called her stupid and stuff."
"Why would Jennie stay with her?" came the muttered question, which wasn't meant to be answered, but Jeffrey piped up anyway.
"Mom said 'cause she wasn't like you."
Cody winced, and tried to change the subject before the pain in her heart became too much. "How's Little League doing?" she asked, smiling weakly.
"Good. I like my coach, 'cept I wanna practice with you again," he added, innocently, and Cody decided she couldn't handle anymore talking for a while. It just hurt too much, and she was expecting the major injury to come later, via a certain blonde.
"What do you say we cook your mom dinner?" she suggested, thinking that perhaps a surprise meal was a good way to begin groveling, since she highly doubted that Jennie's love of food had changed at all in the past twelve months. With practice, however, her cooking skills had improved.
"Yeah!" Jeff exclaimed, happily. "Can I help?"
"I couldn't do it without you," she grinned, and led the boy into the kitchen to work on supper. Finding a packet of stir-fry mix in the freezer, Cody settled on that, and asked Jeff to help her with the toast while she started cooking the chicken for the main dish.
Seeing her take the salt and other seasonings down from the cupboard, the young boy requested, "Can I put some of that in?"
They'd been discussing Jeffrey's Little League game, so Cody was startled by the sudden question, but nodded. "Sure you can, little man," she smiled. "Here, just take a little bit of the salt… There you go, that's all you need. Now, sprinkle it over the chicken.
"Can you reach it, or do you want me to lift you up?"
Tongue out of the side of his mouth in concentration, Jeff rose to his tiptoes, saying, "No, I could do it." With Cody's hands mere inches from his shoulders, ready to catch him should he lose his balance and fall, the tall woman couldn't react fast enough when the small arm faltered, and delicate skin landed on the edge of the pan, eliciting a yelp from the boy.
"Cody!" he cried, as the star whisked him up into her arms, setting him on the counter and immediately running cool water over the red, tender area. Tears streaming down his face, more scared than hurt, Jeff nodded when Cody asked him if he was all right.
"Come here, little man," she urged, kneeling on the floor and drawing him into a comforting hug. Examining the singed skin, Cody was glad to see it wasn't bad enough to blister, and gently kissed the injury.
"Let's put some ointment on it to make it feel better, and then get back to dinner. Do you want a Band-Aid, too?" With the small mishap behind them, both returned to the kitchen to finish cooking, Jeffrey staying a safe distance away from the stove at all times.
Jennie unlocked the door more than a half-hour after leaving her son alone, and was ready to apologize for being gone so long, when she stopped in her tracks. Was that chicken she smelled? Sure, her little boy was growing up fast, but he certainly wasn't capable of cooking on his own!
"What's going on here? Jeffrey?" the blonde called, and the child stepped out of the kitchen, a big smile on his face.
"Hi, Mom. We're cooking dinner!" he announced, proudly.
The woman paused. "We?" she echoed, an eyebrow raised. "Jeffrey, I told you not to let anyone in the house while I was gone, and I meant it!"
Cody came into view, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Don't get upset with him, it's my fault. I knew what you told him, but I convinced him to let me in," she confessed. "He helped me make dinner, and…"
"Jeffrey, go outside please." Jennie's expression was unreadable, but Cody guessed she wasn't real happy. Her tone said whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be pretty.
"But, mom…"
Cody interrupted his protest. "Do as she says, little man," she told him, gently squeezing his shoulder. With a heavy sigh of dejection, the boy trudged slowly out the front door, closing it tightly behind him.
"Are you happy now, Cody?" demanded Jennie, brushing past the woman to see the damage done to her kitchen. To her surprise, she found chicken stir-fry on the stove, toast by the toaster, something in the microwave, and dessert in the freezer. Everything was in one piece, and the aromas were wonderful, but that did nothing to improve her mood.
"What do you mean?" asked Cody, evenly.
"My girlfriend dumped me and my son loves you. You won, Cody."
"No, Jennie," Cody corrected, softly, looking down, "you're wrong. I didn't win; I lost. I've lost everything."
Sighing, Jennie asked, "Why are you here, Cody? What do you want to accomplish by cooking me dinner?"
Sad blue eyes looked up. "I just want to talk to you, Jen," she assured. "I only want a chance to explain."
Jennie snorted, and crossed her arms. "Well, let's hear it."
Cody blinked, surprised by the abrupt command. "Uh… do you want to eat first? I mean, it's ready now, and…"
"No, I want to hear what excuse the great Cody Madison can possibly come up with to explain herself," retorted Jennie, figuring it was going to be a long talk and led the way to the couch, Cody sitting cautiously at the other end.
"I don't have any excuses, Jennie. Only regrets."
"I don't understand why you feel the need to tell me anything, Cody. I thought a single mother with baggage was too much for you to handle, after all," the blonde stated, sharply, and Cody flinched.
"I'm sorry, Jen," she said, honestly. "I never wanted to hurt you, I swear it. I love you, Jennie, and I've never stopped."
"You've got one hell of a strange way of showing it." It was clear none of Jennie's pain had eased, and Cody wished to God that she had never been the cause of the injury. She'd do anything to go back and change things, but she had to settle for fixing things in the present.
"Look, I guess the beginning is the best place to start," Cody began, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to ask you to listen, Jennie. I really need you to hear me, okay? What I'm going to tell you is the truth." The blonde rolled her green eyes skeptically, but said nothing, so Cody kept talking.
"I already told you my mother died when I was young; I was only eleven. It was hard enough being without my mom, but my dad didn't have much of a clue on how to raise a girl. He was always much more interested in my brother, Barry, who was two years older than me. They were constantly playing baseball, and I figured if playing baseball would make my dad proud, then that's what I would do," the tall woman explained.
"But my dad never had enough time, he said, and baseball wasn't 'for girls' anyway," she quoted, lightly. "That's were Garret came in; he'd been a good friend of my father's for many years, and he was the one who pitched to me when my dad was too busy working.
"Six years later, when I was seventeen, my dad died of what the doctors called a stroke. I've always thought he died of loneliness, being so long without my mom, and never desiring to date again. I never knew that it was really possible to die of a broken heart… until last year." The implication was clear, but Jennie was silent.
"Anyway, after my dad passed away, I just lost it. My brother had moved out the year before, and refused to acknowledge me as his sister once he discovered I was gay, informing me of this at my father's funeral, adding how glad he was dad had died before he found out. That just tore me apart, and even though Garret was kind enough to take me under his wing, I didn't really notice.
"I started ditching my last year of high school, and almost didn't graduate with my class. I did drugs; I did everything under the sun. I smoked pot, dropped acid, did a few lines of crack, and even did an occasional shot of heroin. I've still got a scar on my arm, but most of my tracks have faded," she said, showing Jennie the inside of her arm, just above her elbow, touching the small white line that was evidence of her dark past.
"That's why it freaked me out when you called me a role model for Jeffrey, because I'm not a very good person to look up to. Or, I wasn't.
"Not only did I abuse drugs, but I abused my body. I had sex with any woman that was willing, and all this went on right under Garret's nose. He tried to keep me on track for baseball, and encouraged me to train for the pros, even though women weren't known to play. It paid off, but even when I was signed with the Warriors, I didn't stop my addictions, and I continued to spiral downward.
"It was the night after my first game when everything really fell apart, I guess," Cody continued, with a sigh. "Joe caught me and another woman together in a motel room. We'd… slept together, and Joe told me she was only sixteen years old.
"I completely flipped out. I mean, I was facing statutory rape charges if Joe or Pauline, the girl, decided to tell anyone. Joe promised me she wouldn't say a word, and neither would he, as long as I played my best and stayed clean. Of course I said I would; I didn't want to lose my career so soon, so I relied on Joe to keep my secret. I depended on him, and he knew it," she sighed.
"That night," she didn't have to say which one, they both knew, "Joe called me into his office. He told me he knew I was seeing you, and somehow he knew about my teaching Jeffrey baseball, and that if I didn't quit, because it was affecting my game, he'd go public with everything that happened three years ago. He said I had to break up with you, or else.
"I didn't want to do it, Jen. God help me, I never wanted to say those things to you, but I knew if I didn't , Joe would tell the cops, I'd go to jail, you'd hate me, and I'd lose you anyway. So, I did it, just like he asked.
"Jesus Christ, that hurt. All I wanted to do was take you in my arms and apologize, to tell you everything, but I figured you'd turn away from me and I'd go to prison, so it wouldn't do any good.
"But just last week," she said, coming up to the present, "I happened to run into Pauline at the stadium, and I found out she wasn't sixteen when I was with her, she was nineteen. It had all been a scam between her and Joe, and I'd finally stumbled upon it. I was royally pissed, to say the least.
"The first thing I did was confront Joe with what I knew, and he broke. It turned out Pauline was his niece and he had me set up from the beginning, wanting to catch me in the act so I'd be sure to keep playing for him. When he felt that my game was slipping by being around you, he threatened me to keep me in line, and it scared me bad enough to work.
"I quit the team, since my contract was up anyhow, and then I told Matt and Garret what happened," Cody stated. "Finally, I came to you. I have to make this right, Jen, and I'll do whatever it takes to do that. Come on, say something," she pleaded, when Jennie was quiet.
With an expression void of any emotion whatsoever, the blonde met her gaze, and said, "You expect me to believe that you broke up with me, and you said all those horrible things because of a blackmail that was a lie anyway, and therefore should have had absolutely no effect on you? I don't think so."
Cody hung her head and broke eye contact; she'd tried her best and failed. Jennie didn't believe her, and she'd told the truth. There was nothing left for her, and she'd never felt so… hollow. Jennie stood, but the way she bit her lip told Cody she wasn't going to like what was coming next.
"I gave you everything I had, Cody, and you threw it all away. What's more, you make it worse by coming here and expecting me to believe some lame lie, just so you can get me into bed and do the whole thing all over again," Jennie accused. "I'm not going to fall for it, and I don't know why I did in the first place. I believed in you, Cody, and I trusted you; but I was wrong. You used me like Donna did, only worse.
"I wish it wouldn't have happened, I really do. I wish I could take it back, and I wish you weren't my first, Cody," she finished, and made a move as if to walk away, but was stopped by a desperate hand gripping at her arm.
"No, Jennie!" cried Cody, blue eyes wide with fright, heart pounding and chest suddenly tight. "God, please, please don't say that, don't say you wish… That is supposed to be a very special time in your life, and you have no idea how much it meant to me that I was the one you chose to share it with. I couldn't stand it if you regretted it."
Seeing that the blonde still didn't seem to acknowledge what she was saying, Cody implored, "Look at me, Jennie, please. You've only seen me cry one other time, and I meant it then, too. You might not believe my words, but I can't fake my emotions!" Tears leaving their marks on the woman's face, sapphire eyes searched frantically for the smallest sign of trust or belief or compassion…
… and found nothing.
Clenching her jaw, Jennie uttered, "I think you'd better leave," and removed her arm from Cody's grasp, briskly holding the front door open. "Don't come near us again, Cody, I mean it. Just leave us alone."
Head low, Cody murmured a strained, "I love you, Jen," as she walked past, and was answered by a slamming door. Turning to head numbly towards her motorcycle and perhaps ride off some steep cliff, Cody was met with an expectant cherub of a child.
"Cody? Did you eat dinner? Did mom like it? Did you make her happy again?" Jeff asked, brown eyes full of hope and trust that tugged at Cody's already broken heart.
Swallowing hard, she admitted, "I tried, little man, but it didn't work. She's still very mad at me, and she has every right to be, but I did all I could."
"You promised! You said if you ever came back you'd make her happy! You promised you would! I hate you!" he cried, and went to run off, but Cody dropped down to his level and turned him to her, holding him tightly by the arms.
"No, Jeffrey, please. Your mom already hates me enough, I don't want to lose you, too," the woman said, voice thick with emotion. "I tried hard to keep my promise, honest. I'm sorry, Jeffrey."
The boy seemed to accept her apology, but still had tears in his eyes. "Can you come to see me play?" was his concern.
"Oh, I don't think so, little man."
"But I just want you to be proud of me," he bawled, and Cody pulled him into a hug.
"Jeffrey, I am proud of you," she insisted, "so very proud of you. Don't you ever forget that, okay? I know ho good you are at baseball, and I will always remember our practices, no matter where I go."
Jeff picked up on the last part of her statement. "Where are you going?"
Cody sighed. Damn it. "I'm not sure, but I might move to Arizona," she said, even though she wasn't really considering that option; she just didn't want to tell Jeffrey his mother had forbidden her to see him. "You be a good boy for your mother, okay? Keep playing Little League, and maybe I'll surprise you one of these days and show up at one of your games if I can.
"I love you, Jeff," Cody added, choking back a sob.
"I love you, Cody. I don't want you to go."
"I don't want to go, either, little man, believe me. But I have to," the woman stated, gently. "Listen, you'd better go back inside now, all right? Take care of your mom."
"I will," the boy promised, walking slowly into his house, entering the kitchen just in time to see his mother dumping the dinner he and Cody had cooked in the trash can.
It wasn't until the sun had set and the streetlights flickered on above her that Cody realized she hadn't moved for fifteen minutes. She was still standing in the yard, staring at the Donavon's front door. The star didn't have the desire to go anywhere else, and leaving would make it real.
Too real.
Garret's didn't sound good, because Jennie wouldn't be there. The stadium wasn't an option, because there wouldn't be anyone of any importance in the stands. Her bike wasn't even appealing to her, because Cody knew it would sooner or later take her home, but Jennie would never call.
The only thing that meant anything to her was inside that house, and didn't ever want to see her again. Her heart had shattered with the slam of a door, and nothing short of a miracle could save her soul.
Reluctantly walking to her motorcycle, Cody swing her leg over the seat, started the engine, and pulled out onto the road. She simply drove, not knowing where she was going, and not caring. It didn't matter how many miles she put between her and Jennie; the blonde had already dug an unsurpassable chasm between their hearts.